Need girls and guy answers

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  • 1Timothy4v8
    1Timothy4v8 Posts: 503 Member
    The other thing is Marriege is about acceptance and forgiveness

    so he said he would then changed his mind? get over it, marriage is a long time you need to learn to let things go, also when you get pregnant you will turn into a raging jerk so maybe it would be good for him to have some way to hick back and unwind
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    I thought the point of getting a girl pregnet was to get a free sober cab for 9 months?

    ROFL.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    I didn't and wouldn't stop. That's silly. I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to have a designated driver, that my drinking might have increased during that time. LOL.

    I got to drive my hubby's step-grandma home after Thanksgiving dinner last year b/c I was the only one not drinking since I was pregnant. lol


    I was the DD home from my half-brother's wedding when I was prego, my dad took major advantage of the open bar provided by my half-bro's step-dad haha

    That's awesome! Is your family Irish, too? lol


    Haha, no, but we ARE Catholic! Open bar for weddings, funerals, and kids birthday parties!

    Open bar is the only way to go!
  • elysianashes
    elysianashes Posts: 100
    When I got pregnant, my husband asked me if I wanted him to stop drinking too. I told him heck no, there was no reason both of us should suffer, and it might be the last chance he gets to go out with his buddies for the next 18 years :P

    Seriously though, have you never agreed to something and then rethought it later and realized you didn't really want to do it? It happens. If there are bigger underlying issues, THEN be pissed off. Otherwise, this is probably just a matter of him realizing that he agree to give up something bigger than he expected.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    Meh... have a glass of wine... it's good for you and your future progeny.... studies have shown this to be true... :glasses:

    As far as the whole commitment thing is concerned... well... I don't know what to tell you. I don't know if I would be taking his promises and commitments seriously in the future after that. But then, I didn't and wouldn't ask my DH to not drink while I'm pregnant.
  • llahairdna
    llahairdna Posts: 502 Member
    Ok, it's scientifically proven. ALCOHOL REMAINS IN YOUR BODY FOR 40 days. Even if he stops he still has alcohol in his blood for more than a month. I know it's sad, but it will affect your baby too. He can have problems with health, and serious ones! talk to him, if you guys are serious, you both must be responsible enough to handle that! Good luck <3

    agreed. His drinking could affect baby too during conception.

    If this were true, almost all of my large Catholic family would have birth defects. We're Catholic. We drink, and have lots of babies.

    THIS. Seriously, where is the scientific data showing that alcohol stays in one's system for 40 days??
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
    when we are talking about having a baby, and the health of a newborn, I don't think giving up booze is suffering.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    when we are talking about having a baby, and the health of a newborn, I don't think giving up booze is suffering.

    How does the husband's casual drinking have an effect on the health of a newborn?
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
    You can't take care of a newborn when you are drunk. Let's be responsible here.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    You can't take care of a newborn when you are drunk. Let's be responsible here.


    Let's not jump to conclusions. Someone casually drinking does not automatically mean the child will not be taken care of lol.
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
    I know, I'm just an old grandma thinking of the innocent little babies.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    I know, I'm just an old grandma thinking of the innocent little babies.

    my innocent little babies were fine and I didn't give up the drink. It is just knowing the appropriate times and levels.
  • ARMom8251
    ARMom8251 Posts: 194
    Its different for every couple..I for one didn't care one way or the other, I was doing what was best for baby and me and if he chose to drink ok with me. It didn't make me want one, so I wasn't bothered by it.
  • mugofire
    mugofire Posts: 110 Member
    I would have to agree with Chairless! If he can't give that up for a month... how does he plan to be a father for at least 18 years???
  • TanyaCurtis
    TanyaCurtis Posts: 630
    Id be mad, since he said he would stop! Plus ur the one that needs to carry it and push it out, and all the little things in between. He needs to man up and be their to support u all the way if that's what he wants. It will make ur pregnancy alot better knowing he's there for u, and not making u feel deprived and left out! He needs to put other things aside now if that's what he wants! Or he should be giving birth to the baby!!
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I wouldn't care if my boyfriend/hypothetical husband drank or not while I was pregnant. I'm the one who is pregnant, not him.

    However, if alcohol was that big of a part of our lives and we went out and got drunk every weekend, I would feel really left out if he continued to go out and get drunk without me.

    But... we don't do that.
  • ARMom8251
    ARMom8251 Posts: 194
    I thought the point of getting a girl pregnet was to get a free sober cab for 9 months?

    Baaaahahaha I never thought of this but damn its probably what he was thinking about the whole time... I knew I should have dropped his *kitten* off and let him walk home ;)
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
    I think that's how I got pregnant so easily with both my kids lol. My husband was a huge drinker when we first got married (got pregnant with baby #1 on birth control a month after we got married) and baby #2 was conceived within a month of going off Birth control to try for her... I didn't drink much (don't care for the taste) but he did. He doesn't so much anymore though.
  • DisneySkaGirl
    DisneySkaGirl Posts: 161
    I find it rather comical that so many people liken abstaining from alchohol to "suffering" as though it was some sort of extreme torture method.

    Maybe someone should call the Geneva Convention.
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
    You can't tell him what to do, he is a grown man. Besides you're his wife, not his mother.
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,900 Member
    The issue I see is not the drinking, but it is the reversal on the decision not to.

    To quote Tony Montana. "All I have in this world is my balls and my word - and I don't break them for no one."

    If you make a commitment stick with it.

    I think this response needed to be posted a gain, what a smart guy!!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    You can't take care of a newborn when you are drunk. Let's be responsible here.
    She's not even pregnant yet, lady.
  • yoashisme
    yoashisme Posts: 48 Member
    Thanks for all your answers! Some are helpful and some not. I want to clean some things up. I never asked him to give up drinking, he was the one that said it not me. Of course now that he is going bak on his word, it hurts. He is a havy drinker, which doesn't matter so much. I just don't understand the saying ok I won't because I want to support you and then te next month say nope I am still drinking cuz I want to. I have given up things for him before cuz he didn't like them and I think it's only far to do the same. I love him very much but it really hurt to hear the way he said that he wouldn't stop today. Thanks again for all your help people!
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Thanks for all your answers! Some are helpful and some not. I want to clean some things up. I never asked him to give up drinking, he was the one that said it not me. Of course now that he is going bak on his word, it hurts. He is a havy drinker, which doesn't matter so much. I just don't understand the saying ok I won't because I want to support you and then te next month say nope I am still drinking cuz I want to. I have given up things for him before cuz he didn't like them and I think it's only far to do the same. I love him very much but it really hurt to hear the way he said that he wouldn't stop today. Thanks again for all your help people!

    All the more reason to sort ALL these issues BEFORE there is a baby involved. Broken promises, heavy drinking and parenthood don't mix!
  • redsonja1313
    redsonja1313 Posts: 10
    Thanks for all your answers! Some are helpful and some not. I want to clean some things up. I never asked him to give up drinking, he was the one that said it not me. Of course now that he is going bak on his word, it hurts. He is a havy drinker, which doesn't matter so much. I just don't understand the saying ok I won't because I want to support you and then te next month say nope I am still drinking cuz I want to. I have given up things for him before cuz he didn't like them and I think it's only far to do the same. I love him very much but it really hurt to hear the way he said that he wouldn't stop today. Thanks again for all your help people!

    you choose to give them up because he didn't like what ever he expressed displeasure about--- but it was still your choice to give it up or not. While in a perfect world everyone would reciprocate our generosity it is sadly not as common as we all would like. FAIR---has no bearing on his or your motivation... If you truly want him to not drink then come up with VALID reasons why his stopping will benefit/enhance and or help your relationship through out the pregnancy. Just wanting him to give it up because its "only fair": is a reason destine to end up in an argument. I also suggest before flushing birth control you sit down and play out your responsibilities and what your life may look like with a kid in a worse case scenario??? IE if his drinking gets to "a problem" are you willing to be a single parent?? Are you willing to fight for treatment ??? Are you able to financially support the family if all that other **** comes to bear??? I am not saying don't have a kid but I am saying when kids enter the picture planing for WORST CASE and hoping for Unicorns and Rainbows is always advisable !!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Quite frankly, all the rest aside, I wouldn't even consider having a baby with a heavy drinker.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    I would think hard & heavy before conceiving a child with a heavy drinker as the father... moral issues aside, there are many things to consider here.

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