Folks who are happily married...

Been with my husband since i was 18 ...i am now 43, We are happily married and are two people who totally get each other...long after the tingles or butterflies where off.

happly married=oxymoron j/k me and wife have a really great marriage

I think the worst part is that he's so sweet to me all the time. There's really no reason why I shouldn't want to marry him, and I thought I wanted to in the beginning, but then he became totally dependent on me. He's so focused on being with someone I feel bad for him. He's afraid of being alone but I'm not, and he knows it, and it upsets him. He's very romantic and I'm more realistic. He thinks I need to seek therapy because I'm uncomfortable around him when he cries and I don't want to think about marriage now.

Just read the rest of the posts. I wouldn't marry him if he is clingy, that can lead down drama road and also can lead to controlling issues. He's got to be able to be confident with himself and his independence before committing to another person I think.

My wife and I were together about seven months before we got married, andI was 100% certain. We have an amazing marriage, and sure relationships "change", but they change and grow whether you are married or not. Marriage certainly hasn't *hurt* our relationship, or any part of it, and there isn't a day goes by that I am not thankful for the commitment we've made to eachother.

We met in college and a few years after college we got married. That will be 24 years ago, next month.
When did I know? I have always said "Don't get married until you are married".

As my mother always said, "It's easy to get married, but hard to get out of it". Emotionally and financialy. Gotta be 100% on both sides. Don't keep him hanging if you don't want the same things. I survived a breakup after many years together and I was the one that got dumped. I am so greatful that things didn't work out because I'm married to the man of my dreams for 9 years now.

I started dating my now husband when we were seniors in high school. We got married a year and a half later at 19 years old. To say I didn't have misgivings would be a lie. I sometimes still do! ha! But, I believe the doubt is just human nature. I think if you are crazy over the moon with no concerns, then you are naive. That's just my opinion. Because even if you have a wondeful loving trustworthy husband, marriage is HARD. But I know that my husband is who God has for me. He worked it all out for us like a well made puzzle. We have been through so much together (financial troubles, building a house, a hard pregnancy and birth of a child) so I think we can make it through anything!! Best of luck to you!! Hopefully you will figure out what is best for you. :flowerforyou:

And some background:

He tells me how he's such a great guy and he's a catch and there won't be another guy like him around...and he's probably right. I mean he worships the ground I walk on, he would do anything for me, and wants commitment and a family. We have a TON of stuff in common--music, hobbies, love for animals, values.

Basically, I'm dating myself, but from 3 years ago. I was also very clingy, demanding, emotional, and sensitive. I don't know what to do when he cries! Which happens often! And he babytalks the animals which drives me nuts. And he passes gas around me even though he knows I can't stand it. And he used to throw tantrums but thankfully he's stopped that.

I love to hang out with him and we laugh together a lot. But I would rather be his friend than sign up to be his wife in 2 months.

[/quote] I would rather be his friend than sign up to be his wife in 2 months.[/quote]

sounds to me like you already know what you want.....

The fact that you posted this is reason enough to NOT get married to this dude.

People take marriage too lightly nowadays. They think that they can just divorce someone down the road if it doesn't "work" out.

You'll know when the person is right for you. You won't feel the need to post this question again.

I was with my husband for a year and 2 months, then he proposed, and six months later we were married. Our 2nd anniversary is coming up next Monday! It was love at first sight. He is my best friend and lover. What more could I ask for!

We were together 6 or 7 years beforehand. Yes, we were 100% certain when we finally did it. Nothing really changed afterwards, but the weeks that followed were extra special. We were sort of giddy and it felt kind of surreal. I had this fear deep inside that things would be sort of anti-climatic or something, but on the contrary, it was a new spark of excitement.

So far I'm a big fan of marraige and highly recommend it. But 7.5 months may be too soon for some people. You should definitely not be feeling pressured into it.

Been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We're both in grad school and not making tons of money, and this is the only reason we haven't married already. If we hit the lottery, a wedding would be high on the list.

We've been through a lot together, not in our relationship but our lives. Death, family problems, people losing jobs, and health issues. Yet all those things has only made the relationship stronger. I can't imagine my life without him.

Ultimately, I see a wedding as a social event that confirms the relationship that already exists. I know however that things can change, so I never take anything for granted.

It sounds like you feel like you SHOULD love him because he worships the ground you walk on. In my opinion you should gently remove yourself from this relationship and wait until you meet someone that you feel deep love for as well as him having deep love for you. You list a few annoying traits he has. Do you really want to be with him day in and day out for the next 50 years? That is what he is asking of you. Sometimes people forget that and don't think further than the wedding day. Life isnt a movie and the credits don't roll to a sappy love song and you don't live happily ever after. You are young. Go have FUN!!!!

I actually met my current wife while I was in the process of getting divorced from my ex. We weren't exactly warm to each other at first, but we ended up on a bowling team together (something we both love to do) and warmed up a little after that. At the time, I was dating another girl right after my divorce and things just didn't click there so the other gal and I split up so, on a whim, one day while we were at work, I asked her out to dinner and she said yes. We spent the next week talking on the phone when we weren't at work and on April 13, 2007, we went out on our first date. She was impressed that I opened doors for her, we had a great dinner and saw a crappy movie (we both laugh about that now!) and I even asked her if I could kiss her goodnight. Her folks were staying with her since they were in from out of town that weekend and she told them that "I'm going to marry that boy". Things went from there, we were engaged 2 months later, she got pregnant right after we moved in together, we were married May 10, 2008 and had our son 2 months later. Now, almost 4 years later, I haven't looked back! We both know the things that make each other happy and what pisses each of us off and we feed off each other. They say you should marry your best friend and I did!