Harsh words & bashing instead of support & motivation?

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Replies

  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    I think it's important to recognize when people are looking to help, too. If someone writes, "I'm just starting HCG..." that makes me concerned, and I want to help.

    If the "support and motivation" crowd had their way the only thing you could say to someone about to start a dangerous diet that will cause their hair to fall out and lead to eventual organ failure would be, "Good for you! I wish you all the best!"

    :noway:

    This will be my answer to all questions regarding not eating exercise calories, eating 500 calories a day, drinking pregnant lady pee, should I leave my husband/bf, I'm getting a boob job and need your prayers and should I have a baby or not threads.

    I'm sorry, all I saw was boob job. Will this include before and after pics?
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    ...I'm getting a boob job and need your prayers...
    Hall of Fame thread, right there.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    You cannot force everyone to be the same kind of person that you happen to prefer. You take your motivation and support from those that work best with your own personality. Leave the rest.

    So true. I don't know why people expect that just because someone signs up for a calorie counting website they're suddenly going to be all smiles and encouragement.

    And that's the funny thing about these threads, which pop up over and over, sometimes by the same poster. Eventually you find out that what they really want is to BAN everyone who doesn't agree with them.

    Not such a nice and supportive crowd after all...

    I'd rather disagree with someone and have that be that, rather than insist that everyone behave the way I tell them to or they can be banned.

    I'd rather receive constructive criticism versus someone who is just going to tell me what THEY think I want to hear. How is that being supportive or motivating? That's called enabling!!!
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    I'm here to lose weight and be entertained. My friends support me in both ways. I find trolls to be rather entertaining and nothing about their rudeness gets me personally all riled up. The safest bet if you do not want to enter the chaotic world of internet forums is to use the Groups to ask questions of like minded people or ask amonst your friends.

    Because as it stands, when I hear some one start an HCG diet or whatever other new fad is popular, I truly hope it works out well for you, I just know that statistically it probably won't. I also know their is not much I can say either way to persuade a person one way or the other, so while I will often make my honest opinion known...do what ever you want and have a blast. If it backfires.....see you on the forums when you have more questions next time.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
    There is only one way to get fit. The right way. If you can't get on board with doing it right then your just doing it wrong.

    morning-workout.jpg

    Oh wait, your being sincere. Then yes you can come over and play with my toys.

    Why is it that everyone who makes these photo memes has such lousy grammar?

    I've wondered the same thing. :grumble:

    It's because they are used to picture books. LOL
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
    The knowledge I have gained in the forums has come as a result of reading differing opinions and then weighing the evidence presented. It's rad.

    Just curious, but how do you "review the evidence" when many times the evidence given is "a trainer I know said" or "many studies show?" Even worse, when it's "OBVIOUSLY,..."

    I'm a big believer in providing valid sources, but I find the response usually is, "That's your opinion." when, in truth, it's the opinion of researchers who did methodologically sound studies published in well-known peer reviewed scientific journals, which I listed.
  • Babygirl928
    Babygirl928 Posts: 378 Member
    If you find some thing offensive, REPORT IT to the moderators.

    That said, I agree with you: we should be all be supportive of each other.:flowerforyou:

    WOW! that is unbelievable how you can type that when you were so mean to someone on the motivation and support board yesterday!!!!

    This thread

    TOPIC: haven't lost since March

    :Pops open a Budlight: Here we go...
    Grab another one...I got the cupcakes and popcorn :drinker:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I came for the cookies. I own the boobies.

    You could share the boobies. That would be motivational. Depending on how they were suported.

    I share when I'm in the right mood.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    I'm here to lose weight and be entertained. My friends support me in both ways. I find trolls to be rather entertaining and nothing about their rudeness gets me personally all riled up. The safest bet if you do not want to enter the chaotic world of internet forums is to use the Groups to ask questions of like minded people or ask amonst your friends.

    Because as it stands, when I hear some one start an HCG diet or whatever other new fad is popular, I truly hope it works out well for you, I just know that statistically it probably won't. I also know their is not much I can say either way to persuade a person one way or the other, so while I will often make my honest opinion known...do what ever you want and have a blast. If it backfires.....see you on the forums when you have more questions next time.

    Who are you and what have you done with my Adrian!
  • future_runner
    future_runner Posts: 136 Member
    If you find some thing offensive, REPORT IT to the moderators.

    That said, I agree with you: we should be all be supportive of each other.:flowerforyou:

    WOW! that is unbelievable how you can type that when you were so mean to someone on the motivation and support board yesterday!!!!

    This thread

    TOPIC: haven't lost since March

    :Pops open a Budlight: Here we go...

    It's morning where I am...so love that you're grabbing a beer so early :drinker:
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    The knowledge I have gained in the forums has come as a result of reading differing opinions and then weighing the evidence presented. It's rad.
    Just curious, but how do you "review the evidence" when many times the evidence given is "a trainer I know said" or "many studies show?" Even worse, when it's "OBVIOUSLY,..."

    I'm a big believer in providing valid sources, but I find the response usually is, "That's your opinion." when, in truth, it's the opinion of researchers who did methodologically sound studies published in well-known peer reviewed scientific journals, which I listed.
    I do exactly that: look for reputable sources of information and not anecdotal evidence. I also provide reputable sources when sharing info.
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
    You are absolutely right. I don't understand why some people get off on trying to hurt others. Let's help one another.

    I agree with this - I was shocked when I first joined MFP and saw how nasty some people were. It made me think twice about the whole program. We all have the same goal so why wouldn't we be supportive of each other?

    But not all of us have the same goal. And honestly, I'm not one of those pat you on the head types every time you do something well/make a good decision. Do I give the occasional "way to go" or "congrats" on some of my friends' walls/posts? Sometimes, but not very often, because the ones that "need it", generally have a lot of head patters already and don't need my comment to join the other 50 comments saying "good job".

    I wasn't saying anything about how you motivate your friends on your profile, I was talking about on the message boards. I don't expect anyone to congratulate me when I lose half a pound though I do really appreciate the people that take the time out of their day to offer it to me. And I may be mistaken, but I thought we did all have the same general goal - to be or get fit and get or stay healthy?

    I understand what you are saying (and I meant the message boards, but since I switched midparagraph to friends lists I understand the confusion), but some people post what works for them (at least at the moment) and want the "you know what? Your way is the only way/ You're right" replies (we do like to receive approval/confirmation of our self-concept/self-image even if it's a subconsious desire). Also some people want to just lose enough/gain enough to "fill in the blank". Other want this to be a lifestyle change. Some people want to lose/ gain it all quickly, while others understand because of their own experiences, that if it takes a little longer, it's okay. (Also some people don't care if they are fit and/or healthy, they just want the results.)
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
    I swallow. Wait! What? Wrong thread...
  • twisted88
    twisted88 Posts: 294 Member
    I'm here for the pie. And the hardass meanies who pretty much make up my friends list and brook no BS. And...the ladies who lunch. Also...boobies!

    I'm glad we're MFP friends Swanny.
  • FloraSin
    FloraSin Posts: 188 Member
    The knowledge I have gained in the forums has come as a result of reading differing opinions and then weighing the evidence presented. It's rad.

    Just curious, but how do you "review the evidence" when many times the evidence given is "a trainer I know said" or "many studies show?" Even worse, when it's "OBVIOUSLY,..."

    I'm a big believer in providing valid sources, but I find the response usually is, "That's your opinion." when, in truth, it's the opinion of researchers who did methodologically sound studies published in well-known peer reviewed scientific journals, which I listed.

    I just ignore those posts. Provide logic? You've got my attention. Otherwise, it isn't worth the argument.

    Obviously.

    Couldn't resist. :P
  • lightinme
    lightinme Posts: 9 Member
    As with anything internet based, there are some people who are just here for the wrong reasons. You just have to ignore them as they crave attention; and hope they'll go and get some fresh air and exercise instead! If they're too annoying, then report them.

    Amen, I have seen some nasty, attention craving people here the last few days. They have nothing else better to do but put other people down and annoy whomever created the post. You can't take my Joy folks....it's mine :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    The knowledge I have gained in the forums has come as a result of reading differing opinions and then weighing the evidence presented. It's rad.

    Just curious, but how do you "review the evidence" when many times the evidence given is "a trainer I know said" or "many studies show?" Even worse, when it's "OBVIOUSLY,..."

    I'm a big believer in providing valid sources, but I find the response usually is, "That's your opinion." when, in truth, it's the opinion of researchers who did methodologically sound studies published in well-known peer reviewed scientific journals, which I listed.

    I've learned the most from people who have evidence of their own proven results who tell me something along the lines of..

    "What you're going through seems like it could be something like ________, why don't you go do some research on ______ and test it out to see if its one of the things that might work for you. It doesnt work for everyone, but hey- if you dont try, you wont know. But the ________ that you're doing right now isnt working for you, obviously, so dont keep killing yourself by trying to stick with it. Suck it up and get out of your comfort zone. Learn as much as you can about _________. GL."

    Its ^ those comments that usually lead me to finding answers that work for me. And its THOSE comments that most people only see the part that says "the ________ that you're doing right now isnt working for you, obviously, so dont keep killing yourself by trying to stick with it. Suck it up and get out of your comfort zone." and call the person mean or insensitive or harsh and dont soak up the gems of info that could change their life.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    The only thing more fun and useful than threads bemoaning undesired behavior on the forum are the grand sweeping generalizations and armchair psychoanalysis of said behavior.
  • My1985Freckles
    My1985Freckles Posts: 1,039 Member
    You're so sweet. I hope people don't bash on you. But yes, it is agreed. We are here for fitness. Just some people like to say "my bro science is better than your bro science." Also, one particular guy uses roids and LOVES trolling. I enjoy it when he's an OP.


    Broscience totally came into play during a discussion my friend IRL posted about cutting out refined sugar and replacing with honey, Brown bread for white, etc. She's psyched to be learning about better food choices and how food can efffect your health. A couple of bros joined a very positive conversation about learning better food choices and bashed on my poor friend about how she's stupid, and a calorie is a calorie, and cutting out all sugars will kill her. Like that's what she said!!! She called me practically in tears, saying she's too sensitive for the forums and shouldn't post anything again. I replied to him telling him to troll other more asinine topics if he wants to be contrary. His reply to me? But there's only 1 tablespoon of sugar in white bread... Get a life buddy!


    14839892.png

    I read part of that thread. I didn't comment because I am from the "Sugar is the devil" camp and have been bashed for that way too many times. :-\
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    I swallow. Wait! What? Wrong thread...

    I love you. Truly. Madly. Deeply.
    I'm glad we're MFP friends Swanny.

    Everytime I see you "whisking" I am too! Uh, I mean, I value your support and motivation.
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
    You say tomato I say tomawto. What you see as "Harsh words & bashing" others see as support & motivation. Pa los gustos los colores.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    There is only one way to get fit. The right way. If you can't get on board with doing it right then your just doing it wrong.

    morning-workout.jpg

    Oh wait, your being sincere. Then yes you can come over and play with my toys.

    Why is it that everyone who makes these photo memes has such lousy grammar?

    I've wondered the same thing. :grumble:

    It's because they are used to picture books. LOL

    Dont hate. Animals dont take grammar.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    The only thing more fun and useful than threads bemoaning undesired behavior on the forum are the grand sweeping generalizations and armchair psychoanalysis of said behavior.

    "I sweep. I sweep very well." - Failed superhero, The Sweeper
  • ren_ascent
    ren_ascent Posts: 432 Member
    My goodness this thread gave me wonderful insight! From the people who are obviously a riot to talk with, great humor and good attitudes to those people who are negative about EVERYTHING!! I'm a happy medium. Not the paranormal channeling kind but the right down the middle kind.
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 650 Member
    I've seen a lot worse on other forums. I find people on mfp are generally much more oversensitive......generally speaking.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    The only thing more fun and useful than threads bemoaning undesired behavior on the forum are the grand sweeping generalizations and armchair psychoanalysis of said behavior.

    Maybe we can prance on over to mamby pamby land get you some self confidence ya jack wagon!
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    The only thing more fun and useful than threads bemoaning undesired behavior on the forum are the grand sweeping generalizations and armchair psychoanalysis of said behavior.
    Diagnosis: low self esteem.

    Right on cue.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    The only thing more fun and useful than threads bemoaning undesired behavior on the forum are the grand sweeping generalizations and armchair psychoanalysis of said behavior.

    You're just full of low self esteem. You're also a frauderist! So sit down and shut up.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    I've seen a lot worse on other forums. I find people on mfp are generally much more oversensitive......generally speaking.
    Cue the "maybe it's because we're all hungry" response!
  • Errica32
    Errica32 Posts: 40
    I totally agree!
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