"You don't need to lose any more weight!"
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Ok I admit I've said this to a friend before, but only when she beats herself up (in response to negative comments she makes about her still being "fat" or "gross")... I have no idea how else to respond to her when she brings it up this way?
Otherwise, if someone is genuinely happy with where they're headed I'd never try and bring them down. We all have different images of what an ideal body shape is, so to each their own.0 -
I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.
Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...
Exactly. I've read articles saying that one reason we have an obesity problem is that many people no longer know what a healthy weight is. I live in a city that is considered "thin," so I do actually see a fair number of slim people at all ages. That probably does help.
Some people are also probably envious.
But why do people discuss their weight with acquaintances? It's a personal matter. I guess it's hard if you've been successful and people notice. In the case of the OP, if she feels she needs to respond, maybe she should say that she knows from her past weight history that she is not yet at her optimal weight and leave it at that.
I've had my wife's, sister in law's, grandmother randomly pinch me around the waist after noticing how much weight i had lost to apparently see how much was still there. People will get nosey about your weight loss, people also have opinions. I think people have a need to say something as its perceived that men are supposed to be bigger. That and my dieiting is very obvious as i dont drink alcohol, dont eat appetizers, and get very finicky about what and where i eat. It causes issues with friends who might consider my eating/drinking habits boring or a nuisance.0 -
It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight
^^ This. The only people who tell me to stop where I am are people who are much more overweight than I am and are too lazy to lose weight themselves. All my thinner friends are the ones who tell me they are proud and cheer me on.0 -
My daughter has said this to me quite a bit (She is 8). But that's just because I'm not as comfy to lay on anymore.
Awwwww 0 -
A few weeks ago, four different people confronted me and said this. I'm not too thin, but 147 lbs at 5'9 (underweight is another 20 pounds down). I eat well. I have muscles.
The culprit was not weight loss, but the that fact that I hadn't bought smaller clothes yet. The old clothing just hung off of me, creating that "skin and bones" look. I updated my wardrobe when I could do so, and just like that, no more "too skinny" comments.
Most people feel safe commenting about someone who looks underweight because (in this culture) it's considered a compliment. I just blow it off. :-)0 -
Yes.
Join the group "Not-That-Heavy Girls" and read my post "The Gripe"
Can you send me an invite or link? Not sure how to join groups..0 -
I think it's mostly an awkward was of telling you that you look good (which you do). I would just not tell them your specific weight goals, as a lot of people have a vision in their head of what a certain weight looks like, and usually it's not accurate. If conversation dictates that you mention that you're still losing, do what someone else said about saying you enjoy working out, or just say, "I have a few pounds to go." or such.
Though I do love the "I want to look good naked" response. LOL0 -
I just take it as a complement and say thank you. Most of the time it is meant that way and when it is back handed in nature taking it as a complement tends to piss those people off and shut them up :laugh:0
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I get that too. Although I never tell people that I'm "dieting", sometimes they will notice and comment if I order from a restaurant's "light" menu.
People all around us are really fat, overweight, or obese, whatever word you like. Most often the people that tell me that I don't need to lose weight are those that are overweight themselves. I think most don't know what a healthy weight is, now what it looks like.
Are those comments jealousy? that I am doing something that my fat friends aren't doing?
I plan to stop at around 145 and see how I feel. My doctor would like me at 135, which is exactly in the middle (or "ideal") of my BMI range.
But to answer your question, I just say 'thank you' and move on to another subject!
Best wishes on your health and wellness journey!0 -
It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight
I was going to say the same thing. Maybe they're thinking that it makes them look bad, or lazy if you're trying to better yourself while they're not doing anything about being unhappy with the way that they are.0 -
It's a HUGE pet peeve when people say "ohhh you don't have to watch your calories, you're such a little thing"... meanwhile the reason I look this way is BECAUSE I DO count my calories. I work my butt off! They just assume that if you are small you don't have to watch at all. I work for this every day of my life. It's not easy. Yes...some people eat and eat and eat and ARE little. but don't assume that for everyone! hahah!
Precisely. I'm not naturally-thin. I work hard to get to where I am today, and people just assume that because I am not fat I have that winning pass to eat all the chips and cakes as I like.
Even people who are naturally thin are not naturally toned and can actually have high cholesterol and higher body fat % than you'd think. Plus proper nutrition and exercise can help ward off later in life diseases and boost your longevity Really i think there's no excuse not to work it. and be healthy
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I guess it's cuz people think the only way to be slender -- you know, losing those last 15 pounds -- is to starve yourself. I think the comments often come from genuine concern. But they also come from people who excuse THEMSELVES of losing those last 15 pounds because they don't want to do the hard work, and so they wish everyone else would stop doing the hard work and making them look/feel bad :devil:0
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thats the exact reason I don`t tell people that I`m trying to lose weight I just say I enjoy working out and since I don`t limit items from my diet I just eat them in moderation that fit my cal goals most people don`t even know that I`m workint to lose more
Amen! Some things are best left unsaid.0 -
ALL.THE.TIME. -.-
I have a really small frame and fast metabolism, so I look pretty normal weighing less than an average 5'4" person, but I'm not comfortable with how I look, so telling me that I'll look anorexic after losing weight won't make me stop being healthy and exercise daily.
Besides, I talked to my doc and he gives me a green light, so mind your own business (or weight), people!0 -
All the time. I just ignore it.0
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arrgghhh!!! I get this all the time. I usually say, no I'm not where I should be, yet or "i'm working on a fitness level not size or scale #" . But someday I'll lift up my shirt and shake my belly (its much smaller but still shakes a little LOL) at them!!!!!0
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I get that every day, it's starting to get old and irritating. I just plant a smile on my face and walk away, no explanation of any kind is given to them. Might seem rude to people, but it's rude to come up to me and tell me that. You don't know what's going on under my clothes.0
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I suppose it depends if your society considers ideal as the weight required to sit at a desk and drive a car to go home and watch telly while munching processed food from the supermarket. If it were more relevant - like hunt down a gazelle - chase it - club it and eat it, there might be more realistic expectations.
Fact is 'healthy' of that last century or two would be equal to dead the last couple of billion years of evolution.
Also, they don't matter because they have poor standards!0 -
I hate when people tell me to stop loosing weight! Like others said, you look fine with clothes on...but my tummy still has a jiggle to it, so darnit I want to loose another 10lbs! One thing I have a hard time accepting is when people tell me I am skinny. Usually it's people thinner than me telling me this. I just want to shake them, I am NOT skinny, I have lost weight yes, but skinny is pushing it! I guess I just need to learn to accept the compliments, it's better than someone telling you that you could stand to loose a few.0
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Patrick Bateman: Well, you can always be thinner... look better0
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Oh dear, I said that to a friend before. I truly thought/think she looks amazing exactly the way she is. After reading this I'll make sure I never say that again. Being so overweight, if someone told me that I'd jump up and down from happiness!0
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As others have said, comparing yourself to the general population would make someone who is healthy and lean look too thin. I was a little concerned about the prominence/visibility of my ribs, sternum and hip bones after losing weight and recently asked my Dr. about it -- he said that's how the human body should look, but compared to most people, it looks underweight.
As for how you know when you are too thin, I'm not sure . . . maybe it has more to do with how you feel than how you look.0 -
I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.
Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...
SERIOUSLY? Wow. My husband, also 6 ft, got up around 185 a few years ago and decided to skip dessert for a while and drop all the extra weight (*sigh* don't get me started on Some People and their lucky genes...). He got down to about 160, and Hubba Hubba baby! 160 looks good on a six-footer, especially if you've got nice shoulders like my tennis-player guy!
Go for it, dude! Good luck to you!0 -
Yeah, my family used to say that when I was normal weight about 15 years ago. I hope to get them to say it again ;-)
No, honestly, I think those people remember you as the "fat" girl and while they may not be jealous they may have difficulty seeing you as you are now and certainly as you will be. Some people (most) have difficulty dealing with change and they want to stop it.0 -
I don't think people do it intentionally, but they are trying to hold you back. People get uncomfortable when your life is changing for the better and theirs is staying the same. I have NEVER gotten this comment from any of my friends who are also making improvements in their own lives- all I get from them is encouragement and support. Just ignore it and know you are doing something great for yourself!0
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I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.
^ This. If you want to know what "normal" looks like, watch a few episodes of "Emergency" on streaming Netflix. It was made in the early 70's, before the obesity epidemic really got rolling. My kid who loves Anything Medical took to watching it recently, and wow, it's amazing how SKINNY all those people are! But... that was NORMAL then!0 -
Mind if I steal your quote?? "I really like it.. skinny looks good in clothes, fit looks good naked!"0
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Well I'm 5'5" and my lowest ever weight is 133lb which I was happy with. If you were the same height as me and 125 and still trying to lose, I might feel like you were saying I wasn't slim enough.
But that would be irrational because everyone is different and we all apply much higher standards to ourselves than to others. I always think people who are bigger than me are actually smaller. However, its a sensitive area so it might be best just to say you're being healthy or keeping fit.0 -
I got this comment this last weekend from my mother in law. She really looked worried about me being too skinny. I am 5ft 2 inch tall with 130 lbs and no way near skinny. I just smiled and walked away........ in fact it made my day... :flowerforyou:0
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Yesterday someone said to me "wow you look great' do you eat?" WOW talk about a backhanded compliment. YES I EAT, A lot actually. I'm toning. Sometimes people are rude!0
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