Really Funny Things To Do To Make People Uncomfortable!

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  • I know, nobody writes checks anymore but sometimes when I do and they ask for my drivers license I say I dont have one cuz I just got out of jail .....

    I have writen "for sexual favors" on the memos for checks to friends before. Would love to have been at the bank when they cashed it! :tongue:

    A friend of mine does that but doesn't tell me. when I look at the Canceled check on Line it is for stuff like Male Sex Enhancement surgery, Lifetime memberships to Porn sites etc..
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    Hi. Nice to meat you. No, I don't have any friends. Because I killed them and ate them

    Methinks the 'meat' was not an accident.

    But don't laugh too hard at this, this has really happened to me and it can be very frustrating. Being a T-rex and an emotional eater, a lot of my friends have simply 'disappeared' .... MFP has helped me with this and now I think before I chomp. "Do I really want to log Ted? I'm sure he'll put me over for the day"
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,345 Member
    That is just perverted. People don't need jerks like you. Life is tough enough.

    Wooowww sumbody woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning!!
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    i have a friend who has cerebral palsy. we hung out almost every day in junior college, and he had a twisted sense of humor.

    for instance, at bars, he would insist to people that he walked straighter the more drunk he got (he could barely walk stone cold sober)

    once, in denny's, he slipped and fell (which happened about twice an hour, but they didn't know that) on a freshly mopped floor, then screamed at the top of his lungs, "oh no! i'll never walk again!!!". poor denny's employees were so upset.

    another time, he convince my 4 year old daughter to laugh, point at him, and proclaim, "look, mommy at that ugly crippled guy! isn't he funny!"...that one had me pretty embarassed, actually....
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    That is just perverted. People don't need jerks like you. Life is tough enough.

    :noway:
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    When I was in high school, any time a boy was over at the house (or one of my brother's friends), my mother's ultimate goal was to humiliate the poor little guys. Mama was always VERY young looking, and had long blonde hair and massive...bewbies. Anytime she'd introduce herself, if a kid ever said that they thought they knew her (saw her at school before, at a sports game, etc.), my mom always responded with "No, you haven't seen me there. I only leave the house to film p0rn, so you've probably seen me THERE." The sheer embarrassment on those poor kid's face will make me laugh the rest of my life!
  • paigemarie93
    paigemarie93 Posts: 778 Member
    i have a friend who has cerebral palsy. we hung out almost every day in junior college, and he had a twisted sense of humor.

    for instance, at bars, he would insist to people that he walked straighter the more drunk he got (he could barely walk stone cold sober)

    once, in denny's, he slipped and fell (which happened about twice an hour, but they didn't know that) on a freshly mopped floor, then screamed at the top of his lungs, "oh no! i'll never walk again!!!". poor denny's employees were so upset.

    another time, he convince my 4 year old daughter to laugh, point at him, and proclaim, "look, mommy at that ugly crippled guy! isn't he funny!"...that one had me pretty embarassed, actually....

    oh my gosh at the last one, but respect for your friend, he sounds awesome :D
  • dmchiz
    dmchiz Posts: 184 Member
    I must be really obnoxious because i talk to strangers all the time when out with friends/family and it makes THEM uncomfortable (i dont know about the people i talk to? but its too funny) Out to eat with friend and the young unsuspecting waiter comes with our drinks - I ordered a large diet coke ( my worst vice in the world; I used to drink it by the gallons weekly) and as the kid sets it down I seriously say to him..."Um Im sorry, did I order the sippy cup size?" and he just looks at me blankly because they only have one size glass.... my friend is mortified so I tell him, " No seriously, keep em coming I ordered an adult large"
  • moskinnny
    moskinnny Posts: 118
    fill a mayonaise jar with vanilla pudding. eat with a spoon

    OMG........this is sooooo funny. I am literally wiping away the tears of laughter with a tissue :cry: . I seriously have to try this :laugh:
  • Qatsi
    Qatsi Posts: 2,191 Member
    I'm a musician. My keyboard case is almost 5 feet long and weighs 100 pounds when full. On occasion, when I'm loading up my car I'll have people ask me what's in the case. With a straight face I just say, "Ex-girlfriend - didn't work out" and go back to what I was doing.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    whenever you're in a restaurant and there are paper toilet seat covers,

    get one, put it around your neck, re-enter the restaurant

    and loudly tell people

    "hey look! free bibs in the bathroom!!"
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    I did not do this but someone I know did....

    I taught at a technical school for the Air Force....one of my students was a reservist and in his civilian job he was a prison guard.
    So this is what they would do to new guards....now keep in mind this was before cell phones were used as watches.

    As they are standing in the mens room at the urinals he would look down toward the other guys crotch and say "WOW....that is such a nice.......watch you're wearing." Very ackward!!!
    this is all hiliarious but so far I think this one wins!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • futurerunner
    futurerunner Posts: 169 Member
    Start rubbing a stranger's shoulders, ask them if it feels good, real good
  • love2cycle
    love2cycle Posts: 448 Member
    My kids get embarrassed around me sometimes, if we are out shopping. Sometimes, the lighthearted feel of a couple of dance steps and a song on my lips is irresistible. My kids would beg to differ.
  • fill a mayonaise jar with vanilla pudding. eat with a spoon

    OMG........this is sooooo funny. I am literally wiping away the tears of laughter with a tissue :cry: . I seriously have to try this :laugh:

    <~~I take a container of Vanilla Pudding and fill it up with Mayo and eat the whole thing! LOL Opps! I think I got that wwrong, huh?
  • mici0427
    mici0427 Posts: 54
    That is just perverted. People don't need jerks like you. Life is tough enough.


    Go eat a cookie. The thread is optional. You don't have to read OR post if you don't like it!!
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    i have a friend who has cerebral palsy. we hung out almost every day in junior college, and he had a twisted sense of humor.

    for instance, at bars, he would insist to people that he walked straighter the more drunk he got (he could barely walk stone cold sober)

    once, in denny's, he slipped and fell (which happened about twice an hour, but they didn't know that) on a freshly mopped floor, then screamed at the top of his lungs, "oh no! i'll never walk again!!!". poor denny's employees were so upset.

    another time, he convince my 4 year old daughter to laugh, point at him, and proclaim, "look, mommy at that ugly crippled guy! isn't he funny!"...that one had me pretty embarassed, actually....

    oh my gosh at the last one, but respect for your friend, he sounds awesome :D

    yeah, he's the best :heart:

    he's a preacher now
  • jenready
    jenready Posts: 2,658 Member
    While in Target one day, my friend kept saying very loudly that he needed to get some cream for his rash. He then proceded to ask if someone would look at his rash for him while scratching his crotch. What finally made us leave the store is that he picked up one of the intercom phones and asked where he could find cream for a genital rash.


    The same friend at one point in time had a loud speaker hooked up to his car. (Like an intercom) As we drove around town we passed a man out walking. The man sneezed and my friend nicely said gazuntite over the loud speaker. That poor man looked so confused.
  • momma3sweetgirls
    momma3sweetgirls Posts: 743 Member

    once, in denny's, he slipped and fell (which happened about twice an hour, but they didn't know that) on a freshly mopped floor, then screamed at the top of his lungs, "oh no! i'll never walk again!!!". poor denny's employees were so upset.

    This is classic!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    Oh...I am the king of uncomfortable...my poor wife. I do things like when we are in the grocery store, or parking lot, I just MEOW really loud while we are walking. And I keep a straight face so when people look around, they think it was me, but aren't sure. Or when no one is looking in an isle, I'll start dancing in front next to her. I also like to fart in the stores, and then tell her..."Oh man, we have to move!"

    She'll be like "hold on, I'm not done here."
    "No, we have to move now."

    Then it hits her and we are both powerwalking as I leave a trail of tears behind me.
    or as my ex would do, he's fart and then blame me as other people walked thru it.
  • dmchiz
    dmchiz Posts: 184 Member
    I was at this bus stop with my son once and because hes mixed & im super white it worked out PERFECTLY...

    Hes runnin around and actin a fool and this lady sittin next me just kept shakin her head...

    I said "yea idk who he belongs to, he just followed me here"

    She gave me the DIRTIEST look. Lol.
    [/q
    uote]

    Bahahahahaa! love this!
  • tig_ol_bitties
    tig_ol_bitties Posts: 561 Member
    whenever you're in a restaurant and there are paper toilet seat covers,

    get one, put it around your neck, re-enter the restaurant

    and loudly tell people

    "hey look! free bibs in the bathroom!!"

    BRILLIANT. The man and me are going to a really nice restaurant tonight, and he embarrasses really easily...I will definitely be doing this in my nice dress and heels!
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    Oh...I am the king of uncomfortable...my poor wife. I do things like when we are in the grocery store, or parking lot, I just MEOW really loud while we are walking. And I keep a straight face so when people look around, they think it was me, but aren't sure. Or when no one is looking in an isle, I'll start dancing in front next to her. I also like to fart in the stores, and then tell her..."Oh man, we have to move!"

    She'll be like "hold on, I'm not done here."
    "No, we have to move now."

    Then it hits her and we are both powerwalking as I leave a trail of tears behind me.

    My husband does the drop @ss thing ALL the time to me!! Drives me nuts!
  • While in Target on day, my friend kept saying very loudly that he needed to get some cream for his rash. He then proceded to ask if someone would look at his rash for him while scratching his crotch. What finally made us leave the store is that he picked up one of the intercom phones and asked where he could find cream for a genital rash.


    The same friend at one point in time had a loud speaker hooked up to his car. (Like an intercom) As we drove around town we passed a man out walking. The man sneezed and my friend nicely said gazuntite over the loud speaker. That poor man looked so confused.

    <~~Would love to hang with your friend!!!!
  • dmchiz
    dmchiz Posts: 184 Member
    That is just perverted. People don't need jerks like you. Life is tough enough.

    Wooowww sumbody woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning!!
    [/quot

    bump
  • whenever you're in a restaurant and there are paper toilet seat covers,

    get one, put it around your neck, re-enter the restaurant

    and loudly tell people

    "hey look! free bibs in the bathroom!!"

    BRILLIANT. The man and me are going to a really nice restaurant tonight, and he embarrasses really easily...I will definitely be doing this in my nice dress and heels!

    Trying to stifle my laughing while at work!
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    Thank you for making me laugh - so many ideas. I'm not the one who does strange stuff but i have an autistic child who sometimes comes out with the worse things. The best though was that he got a balloon from McDonald's - sucked all the helium out and ran round the supermarket shouting Peanut butter jelly time.

    Another time he called me a drunkard in the supermarket car park and then asked what it was. ( both at full volume)
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Some of my favorite skits on *kitten* were when they would put the baby carrier on the roof of the car and drive off or have the dude in the straight jacket escape from the van while they were stopped asking for directions. Stuff like that.

    True story: when I was in high school and had to bring the "robot baby" home for a weekend for child developement class, my family took a trip to Chicago. We were at a rest stop and I was carrying the carseat and baby up to the store when I triped and fell over the curb. The baby went flying and began it's real, but computerized cry. About 15 people ran up, one lady was screaming "omg she dropped her baby!!" When they all realized it was fake, I have to admit, it was pretty effing hilarious.
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
    We had a carload of teenagers dressed as various Star Wars characters driving down Michigan Ave in Chicago with a sign sticking out the window that said, "Come to the dark side. We have cookies!!" We got the strangest looks. Still don't know why.....
  • dmchiz
    dmchiz Posts: 184 Member
    whenever you're in a restaurant and there are paper toilet seat covers,

    get one, put it around your neck, re-enter the restaurant

    and loudly tell people

    "hey look! free bibs in the bathroom!!"


    OMG LMAO right now!!!!!