Does this constitute cheating to you?

Its a betrayal of trust, no matter how it gets dressed up.
Its also a step in the wrong direction and who knows where that road leads.
The positive is that its all come out early and maybe the problems that made him go this way can be sorted out.
Communication is key.
Its up to you if you can, will and want to forgive.
The best things in life are worth fighting for.

Yeah its not cheating but could be heading that way. Maybe its just a case of he's a little bored and wants to try new things. Communication is key to all aspects of a relationship.
Maybe he should be asking you to do them things rather than paying someone else.

I have the same problem with my misses. I have a higher sex drive. Maybe he does just want to be more adventurous. Maybe he's too tired for the real thing so would rather use porn for quickness lol. Talk to him

Id consider it as cheating. Watching pre-made clips is one thing, paying for women to please you is another.

These are private sessions, it's not just videos, he is interacting with live women.

You need to discuss what consists as cheating in your relationship and boundaries. I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you, hope for the best in whatever you decide to do!

I would definitely not take this lightly. I'm very adventurous when it comes to our sex life, there really isn't anything that I wouldn't do, and if it got to the point to where he'd rather watch women and jerk than actually interact with me sexually, it's a big no no. My mama always said if your sex life isn't good, the relationship won't last.

I would class this as cheating, there is no getting around it...he has sought out women in your own area to do specific things for him in real time....

It's not technically cheating, its more like buying porn but a specific type, and there's probably a thrill from the person being local and the possibility of being caught (the thrill is often better than the reality). But based on my own personal experience I would be very worried. My ex was looking at 'no strings' sites late last year, and while he never went through with it, he ended up breaking up with me last month for someone he met online. Same thing with us, we hadn't had sex for a while, even though I always wanted to. He started taking anabolic steroids a few weeks before he broke up with me, which can cloud your judgement/actions severely, but the signs were obviously there that something wasn't quite right. Rather than talk to me about it he made his decision, got with her and has been a complete *insert swear of choice* since.

We'd been together six and a half years, got engaged four years ago, liked all the same things and had a lot of laughs, but apparently we weren't compatible??? I'm at the point where I don't even recognise him any more.

Sit him down, and talk to him reasonably (shouting never works, it makes the other person switch off and they don't listen properly). Tell him how hurt you are by it, and ask him why he was looking in the first place. If he's being honest, then he will be able to look you in the eye while he tells you, and and if he's lying he's likely to touch his face, particularly around the nose (weird but true). Then judge whether you have a future. Don't let it get to the point I got to. It's constantly heartbreaking

I would never tolerate something like that. You wanna watch porn...GO FOR IT...but paying to ask women to do things...nope. Time to kick that guy to the curb.

Are you sure that he has been searching for local woman? I just know from personal experience that you get popup's while visiting porn sites. popup's for woman in your area etc.

I could get over the web cam stuff but not the fact that he'd been searching for local women.... You need to have a serious talk.

Is the wedding soon? I'm not making excuses for him, but maybe the pressure is taking its toll on him? Maybe by paying the women on webcams to do what he wants is his way of getting some control back? Has this only be a recent thing closer to the actual wedding? If the answer is yes to any of these, you still have a problem as its the wrong way to deal with a problem he's having, but if he's had a perfect record until now, it may explain some of it. You say he's been as excited as you about the wedding but has he had any involvement in the planning of it, or any input to how it happens?

NOPE! -Ty

My rule of thumb is, if you have to hide it from your spouse then you shouldn't be doing it.

If I caught my husband watching porn, I wouldn't care.

But if I caught him paying for a live webcam show, I'd kill him.