Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

BAtobe
BAtobe Posts: 93 Member
in Success Stories
I've done it before but not before I was strong enough to hear the answer. I know my husband loves me no matter what my size. There was a time that I could walk into a room naked and he wouldnt look my way, I'd do anything for him to initiate intimacy. I was depressed, felt hopeless, unwanted, ugly and fat. I notice as I lose and get more fit, he cannot keep it hands off me. TOTAL ego boost.

I asked him if he finds me sexy now and if he found me sexy before. The answer wasnt pretty but I'm not mad at him either. He loves me no matter what size I am and I love feeling like he wants me all day, every day. :wink: I think it helps me stay motivated as well. Wondering if anybody else found the guts to ask their spouses or significant others that question.
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Replies

  • quianabenson
    quianabenson Posts: 12 Member
    I asked my husband, and he was BRUTALLY honest with me. I cried, cried, and cried. He didn't love me any less, nor was he any less attracted to me. But he had noticed my body was "changing". So now we work out together...and he pushes me harder than I push myself. It is motivating, and it is rewarding to both me, and my husband! Keep up the good work!
  • MindyG150
    MindyG150 Posts: 1,296 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    We both are trying to lose weight and the last few weeks I've been very upset about my weight ( I decided to do before pics which made it worse) but he says he loves me however I am.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    What a great answer <3
  • BAtobe
    BAtobe Posts: 93 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    I absolutely identify with this as well. Confidence is sexy no matter what your size. :smile:
  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard - he must be a gem! You are a lucky woman!:flowerforyou:
  • concerto3
    concerto3 Posts: 88 Member
    I was never a skinny girl when we met, but I put on 60lbs over the course of our relationship. He claims he didn't notice, but it was so gradual, that maybe he didn't? When I weighed 233lbs, I showed him a picture of me at 170. I was like "Look how good I looked!!" and he said he didn't realize how big I had gotten. He loves me either way, but for us, and for having a long, happy, healthy life together, we changed our lifestyle completely so we could both become healthier. It would be a lie to say he isn't enjoying my weight loss just as much as I am, I am definitely more attractive to both of us now.
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
    Thank you for posting this brave topic. It just made me realize something pretty amazing about my husband. At 177 pounds, he NEVER stopped wanting me, he never stopped wanting me every single day! Now that I am 23 pounds lighter, becoming more and more fit, he only wants me more. What a blessed girl I am, thank you for helping me see such a positive thing about my husband, with him I tend to focus on his negatives and simply put, I shouldn't!
  • LilGiselle21
    LilGiselle21 Posts: 110 Member
    I still not ready to ask but I kno the answer would be something along the lines of it doesn't matter but I want you to be healthy. We've had conversations before about it and he knows right now I'm trying really hard to workout and stuff and already seeing a change towards me and he has started working out this week actually. He knows I'm happier when I exercise more. And yes I'm less lazy too with helps our overall relationship. Sometimes I even tell him if I've had a good week but I won't tell him what my exact weight is at the moment cause I'm still not reaching a more "acceptable" weight.
  • SlimSammy2012
    SlimSammy2012 Posts: 893
    That question is so hard for most men, including me. We truly do mean that we love you no matter what your body looks like but on the other hand, we can see and feel the uncomfortablness in you and it sort of makes the whole thing a difficult situation for both.

    I know I don't look "appetizing" when I am the way I am now. I also don't want to get back in shape just so a woman is attracted to me. I want ti do it so I am more confident, comfortable and sexier to my partner.
  • SavCal71
    SavCal71 Posts: 350 Member
    Even at my heaviest (226) I never had to ask. My husband tells me - often - how beautiful and sexy I am.
  • BAtobe
    BAtobe Posts: 93 Member
    Just to be clear, my husband never commented my weight before. I had a tendency to say things like "I'm so fat" to fish for compliments but no matter what he said, how hard he tried, it wasnt good enough in my head so I believe he just quit trying to make me feel better. I projected my insecurities into our relationship. Now I feel confident, sexy and never need to fish because I know I look good and I feel even better. :flowerforyou:
  • LifeChangingExp
    LifeChangingExp Posts: 454 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'


    awww I LOVE THIS
  • BuckeyeLife
    BuckeyeLife Posts: 313 Member
    My girlfriend was honest with me from the start about this issue. Of course, now she loves the fact that I am holding her to the expectation to get healthier(Sarcasm, she really hates this.). She's not overweight, but she could eat better and do some weight work and REALLY change her composition into being a damn drop dead gorgeous level. Even if she doesn't, I'll love her, but I don't accept the double standard approach. I work hard, you work hard.

    Some of the reasoning statements in here highlight why I have an issue with overweight. (Dating someone who is/finding them attractive, and myself). A lot of time the way you look says a lot about how you feel about yourself and take care of yourself. Showing that you love yourself enough to be fit and healthy is far more attractive to me than anything else. I can understand why my girlfriend finds me more attractive now as I take the weight off than she did a year ago, and hold no resentment over it.
  • jamaljohar
    jamaljohar Posts: 55
    wow smooth dude
  • Jenner22
    Jenner22 Posts: 94 Member
    My husband loves the size I am now. He knows that I want to lose the weight to be around longer and to be healthier in general. He does whatever he can to help me. However.. when I lose more and more weight.. he tends to get scared that I'm going to run off on him. He's said before that he prefers me larger because then he doesn't feel that he has to try as hard to keep me around. Oh.. my husband.. such a butt head sometimes lol.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    I love this so much!

    My husband says he loves me no matter what my size, but then he's the one saying my target weight is too high or I'm not pushing myself hard enough. And then in the next breath that I'm being too hard on myself. I haven't had him at the 'can't keep my hands off of you' stage in years. I think, sadly, that ship has sailed no matter how I look...
  • RLeighP
    RLeighP Posts: 232 Member
    My husband has always told me that he will love me no matter what size I am. He fell in love with me when I was 240 lbs, loved me up to 295 and down to 175, and all the time in between. He worries about my health, that's all,
  • RachelWest86
    RachelWest86 Posts: 36
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    You have a very smart, and very sweet husband. Kudos to him for loving you, and kudos to you for finding him!
  • BlahBlaBlah
    BlahBlaBlah Posts: 33
    Even at my heaviest (226) I never had to ask. My husband tells me - often - how beautiful and sexy I am.

    Mine is the same way. From my lightest weight (157) to my heaviest (220), I've never had to ask. My weight has never made a difference to him and he's always made that obvious. How lucky we are. :)
  • kym117
    kym117 Posts: 315 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    I absolutely identify with this as well. Confidence is sexy no matter what your size. :smile:

    I think this is right! I think confidence is the key and I don't think you need to be a skinny minnie have it any size, I just think that as we gain weight we have confidence issues within ourselves which kind of diminishes the light!
    I asked my husband and he also says although he's loving the feel of the new curves it's the fact that I am happier within myself.
  • hedgiie
    hedgiie Posts: 1,226 Member
    i believe that action speaks louder, there are things that you can discuss verbally and there are things for which it's better to use your observations.
  • TKHappy
    TKHappy Posts: 659 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    My husband says something similar to this. :) He says the only reason he dislikes seeing me gain weight is because I am really hard on myself, says he could careless as long as I am happy and not beating myself up. :)
  • LovingLisa2012
    LovingLisa2012 Posts: 775 Member
    i don't have to ask, my hubby treats me as if i am the sexiest thing around (can't keep his hands off and prefers me running around naked) TMI sorry but its the truth

    he loves when i give him strip shows, maybe i can't move as well as fit girls, but that doesn't stop us from having fun with it
    also he likes the naked cook and naked barber ( its just us and the dog, so we can do that)

    maybe age has something to do with it he is 42 ( maybe younger guys are hung up on looks idk) but i am glad my husband isn't .. my heighest was 312 with him and when we met i was in the 190s ( in 1999)
  • macylane4
    macylane4 Posts: 224
    I wouldnt ask that question...everybody has their flaws, and honestly I don't need anybody to put their input in on how I live my life. If your husband/wife doesn't like the way you look, they should leave! i would! I'm harsh, but i've had people put their two sense in when I didn't ask for it, and I realize those people just have self confidence issues!!!
    As long as you're healthy, and happy with who you are, that's all that matters!! Regardless of how you look now, or back then! I've noticed you never win when you give someone else the opportunity to judge you!
  • SuperSexyDork
    SuperSexyDork Posts: 1,669 Member
    Even at my heaviest (226) I never had to ask. My husband tells me - often - how beautiful and sexy I am.

    ^ THIS! My boyfriend pushed me to start but only because every single time he'd tell me I was beautiful or sexy I would tell him that he was blind and I was fat/ugly... I just didn't like/love myself anymore. He told me that I really should start losing weight if that was what made me so unhappy.
  • emilynicole02
    emilynicole02 Posts: 355 Member
    I asked my husband, and he was BRUTALLY honest with me. I cried, cried, and cried. He didn't love me any less, nor was he any less attracted to me. But he had noticed my body was "changing". So now we work out together...and he pushes me harder than I push myself. It is motivating, and it is rewarding to both me, and my husband! Keep up the good work!

    This is exactly how it was in our house! Except he's my boyfriend not my husband...yet ;) lol. He also does construction so for awhile he was able to workout with me but now when he get's home he is so pooped that he doesn't workout with me anymore... but sometimes he does on the weekends and I LOVE it! so motivating! (especially because I am doing insanity so i have more built up stamina than he does and i can kick his butt! ;) )
  • holly3585
    holly3585 Posts: 282 Member
    Ugh......my hubby married me as a chubby, and loved me when I was beyond chubby just after the birth of our daughter. While he finds me sexy at my new low and toned weight..... makes cute comments about my abs when they pop out and things like that.... but sometimes I wish I had a shallow Hal so that I would have anothe form of motivation. I really do find myself using 'he DID marry me when I was bigger.......maybe he liked that better' as a way of talking myself into my semi-frquent late night binges :-/ My conclusion is its all how you make it. You can consider yourself ahead (or screwed) either way. It all depends how you interperate the situation!
  • sdavis448
    sdavis448 Posts: 193 Member
    My fiance is always telling me how sexy I am.. I have trouble believing him though. I started working out last week again, and he can't keep his hands off me. He can tell I'm happier now hat I'm losing weight.. I apparently have a glow that he can't resist.

    That being said.. he told me he doesn't want me to be "skinny" he has grown attached to my curves <3
  • taratam83
    taratam83 Posts: 88 Member
    Mine says the same thing!! These men... they are more insecure than we are!

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