Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

Yes i ask my husband because when we got married i was 130lbs after having my baby i weighted 200lbs. when i ask him he told me yes he would like for me to lose some weight but not too much, i ask much he would want me to weight he said about 150lbs and know matter what he will always Love me. Afterward i felt better to know that he was honest and he didn't lie or just say something to make me feel better.

I've never asked my husband that because I already know the answer. I don't know how many years of being together it will take before I can walk around naked or scantily clothed without being accosted but we haven't hit that point yet.

I have a new SO and he didn't seem to allow my size to stop him from falling in love. I get plenty of attention. I wanted to wait to get naked until after my upcoming surgery, but since we'd both been celibate for a decade, that didn't work out. My ex husband (divorced 15 yrs ago, used to tell me that he loved me regardless and pretty much demonstrated as much, but when I hit 350, it was a challenge and I couldn't stand the sight of myself, so didn't understand why he still wanted to see me naked)

My former SO (between the ex-husband and the new SO) - not so much - he was fine with me the way I was and my weight was on the way down (lost 50lb before we met) until his friends staged an intervention (not really, but it seemed that way) to tell him that they couldn't understand why he had anything to do with me. I didn't know what was going on, but he became cold and all the joy and passion went out of our relationship. Months later he told me about what his friends said and that he told them that he'd searched his heart for a reason to reject me, but couldn't because he couldn't find anything else wrong with me. Nevertheless, that spelled the end of our relationship which became a close friendship that has endured for a decade - we've been like one of those rare divorced couples who stay best friends, but just don't have sex. The pain lasted a good 10 or more years until I met someone else. Now I can tell my "friend" how much he hurt me, but I'm waiting a little longer until I've lost enough weight to give him a reason to regret his shallowness. I know it's small and petty and childish, but so is he and it may be the only way he'll understand what a mistake he made.

Thank you for posting this brave topic. It just made me realize something pretty amazing about my husband. At 177 pounds, he NEVER stopped wanting me, he never stopped wanting me every single day! Now that I am 23 pounds lighter, becoming more and more fit, he only wants me more. What a blessed girl I am, thank you for helping me see such a positive thing about my husband, with him I tend to focus on his negatives and simply put, I shouldn't!

AMEN!! I can totally relate!

My guy cant keep his hands of me no matter what, we met when I was 135-140(5'3) after having both my kids I was at my heaviest 176-8 now am 168 and everything is the same except its harder to have sex when having a 18month old and a soon to be 3. I always ask how I look or what he thinks about me and he says my weight dont matter, I try to lose weight and he tries to feed me more... So I dont know lol but i've never been 50lbs heavier or 100. I never cared about him seein me naked or anything like that, i've learned how to love myself because of him, he even took me shopping and that made me feel good.

I have asked my honey this question, not once or twice but a lot and his answer NEVER changes. He said that he isn't in love with me because of my body, but my heart, and I have put on 60 pounds since we met. He says that I'm just as irresistible now as I was 60 pounds lighter. He has never withheld touch or love as I have fluctuated. I am a lucky girl.

My husband is...easily excited so my weight was never an issue for him. It was an issue for me though and he didn't like the way I avoided him in bed and sometimes got mad about how he touched my fat rolls. OMG TMI. :blushing:

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

I did and his response was;

'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

thats beautiful!!! best answer ever

I worked my way up to being comfortable with my fiance and after about two years i wasnt worried about how my body looked for him. I actually ask him all the time if he loves me (all of me, even though i am more than 100 pounds heavier than him.)
I really dont think he noticed i was skinny (185) or fat (246) because we were always the same intimacy wise, or friend wise, or so wise.

I always thought men only saw what they wanted to see, so wether or not you have a spare tire he might really like the way your butt looks, and if you have huge calves (me) he will still notice how i look up top. everyone has some asset they can show off, and the men will notice regardlesss of the number on the scale. just find the right man to notice.

if all he sees is "youre fat" he sounds like a jerk.

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...