Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

thomassd1969 · May 2012

I did ask him that and he said that it was more about the fact that I was trying to get fit and take care of myself that made me sexier to him. He loves to watch me work out or run. I catch him all the time staring at me in gym at the Y. It even makes me blush sometimes.

SPNLuver83 · May 2012

I guess I'm pretty lucky because thin or fat my husband has never kept his hands off me lol. Even when I was at 190 lbs I could just look at him and he'd get hard. So I've never felt the need to ask.

Mrsfullwood · May 2012

Same here...When I met my husband I was MUCH heavier than I am now.

ckftwak · May 2012

Your husband is a genius. What a great answer...

tomakehermine · May 2012

best husband of the year award!

kenny_johnson · May 2012

I was heavy when we met... lost weight for our wedding -- then gained it back plus a lot more over the years. I'm pretty sure she finds my body less attractive over the years. And I'm pretty sure she'd find it more attractive when I lose weight and get more fit. I don't need to ask. I know. But I also know she loves me know matter my size.

_Bob_ · May 2012

I asked once and she lied to me. when she was honest I didn't like her answer.

but then again I'm not really doing it for her approval. it is nice though

sunshinedazed · May 2012

Oh the stories I could tell... My fiance and I split up a month ago and it was absolutely for the best. For the last few years I had been trying SO HARD to feel good about myself, when he clearly didn't want me. The irony in this is that he prefers bigger girls (his new OMG I LOVE YOU FOREVER is definitely bigger than I am!). A big part of why we split (aside from his pathological cheating) was that he was completely unsupportive of my desire to get healthy.

The girls he preys on are all overweight and depressed and just looking for attention. It's really sad, and I'm horrified that I was ever a part of that, that I ever allowed him to make me feel unloveable, that I went to the lengths I went to to SEEM like I felt good about myself.

Long story short, go home and kiss your hubbies, because a man who can love you from the inside out as opposed to the outside in is worth whatever his weight is in gold.

runnercheryl · May 2012

I asked, yep. Not long after I started losing, but as soon as it was becoming obvious. He's never made me feel like I'm not attractive and had never given me reason to think it, so I figured why not ask? If his answer was that he found me unattractive at a bigger weight then I should be just as happy - he didn't show it, and he loved me just as much anyway.

His response was that he found me gorgeous and loved me at any weight, but he did say that he preferred me looking a bit slimmer.

Fine for me to hear. I'm losing and doubt I'll ever get back to the weight I was, but even if I did my weight is my choice and I know he'd stick around.

Kris0109 · May 2012

Met current man candy about 60 lbs into the loss. He was always supportive, complimentary and affectionate. That being said, he got drunk one night and mentioned how OK he was that I was "really squishy", all in the context of how much he missed sleeping next to me (he'd moved 90 minutes away and we see each other much less than when he was 2 minutes away). He was trying to be sweet; I felt insulted. Cut to about 2 months later: We hadn't seen each other for about 5 weeks, during which I fully embraced the Zumba and had fewer distractions from eating well, etc. He didn't say anything at first but later commented that I was "wasting away" ... again, he's trying to be sweet, I feel insulted and/or uncomfortable. It's touchy subject, especially when stuff is newish and he wasn't around for the beginning of the process (nor does he know how much I've lost total ... but you can't hide the ravages of 85lbs on a body very well...).

That being said, even with the just losing the 15ish lbs in the time I didn't see him, I felt more comfortable. So I'm not sure if, initially in bed, he was reacting to the loss or the fact that I clearly felt sexier and didn't, oh, say, try to talk my way off top because I was as worried about my stomach (THANK YOU, ZUMBA). Double-edged sword.

What did resonate was when he, Mr. Jiujitsu-alpha-male-of-the-universe-who-makes-fun-of-Zumba asked me for advice on dropping a few lbs. THAT spoke more about his respect for me and the process than any casual compliment.

naddel02 · May 2012

Yes i ask my husband because when we got married i was 130lbs after having my baby i weighted 200lbs. when i ask him he told me yes he would like for me to lose some weight but not too much, i ask much he would want me to weight he said about 150lbs and know matter what he will always Love me. Afterward i felt better to know that he was honest and he didn't lie or just say something to make me feel better.

monicamk1975 · May 2012

I was 35 pounds heavier when we met (around 210) and almost 80 pounds heavier (260) a year after we had our little girl. My husband could never take his hands off me either way. I'm 170ish now and its the same story. He loved me at all weights and never uttered a word about my weightloss. He did make a comment once about a friend of his' wife and how she got married and stopped taking care of herself completely and that really got me thinking that so had I. I did ask him about my weight and what he thought and he did tell me that he was happy I was healthier now because I didnt complain of back pain, gastritis, stomach problems...etc anymore and seemed much happier.

I love my husband. I know some people can take thier SO's telling them things straight and to the point, like "oh, I dont find you attractive anymore"...but I'm not those people. It would have torn me apart. So Im thankful my partner knows "how" I need to feel supported

bcattoes · May 2012

I've never asked my husband that because I already know the answer. I don't know how many years of being together it will take before I can walk around naked or scantily clothed without being accosted but we haven't hit that point yet.

saturnine15 · May 2012

Fat makes me feel yucky, and that affects my behavior, which in turn makes me less appealing. It is as simple as that. I am way more fun when I am comfortable in my own skin.
Is he mean about it? No. Is he honest? Yes. That is why I married him. He is as straightforward as I am.

caroleslaststand · May 2012

I have a new SO and he didn't seem to allow my size to stop him from falling in love. I get plenty of attention. I wanted to wait to get naked until after my upcoming surgery, but since we'd both been celibate for a decade, that didn't work out. My ex husband (divorced 15 yrs ago, used to tell me that he loved me regardless and pretty much demonstrated as much, but when I hit 350, it was a challenge and I couldn't stand the sight of myself, so didn't understand why he still wanted to see me naked)

My former SO (between the ex-husband and the new SO) - not so much - he was fine with me the way I was and my weight was on the way down (lost 50lb before we met) until his friends staged an intervention (not really, but it seemed that way) to tell him that they couldn't understand why he had anything to do with me. I didn't know what was going on, but he became cold and all the joy and passion went out of our relationship. Months later he told me about what his friends said and that he told them that he'd searched his heart for a reason to reject me, but couldn't because he couldn't find anything else wrong with me. Nevertheless, that spelled the end of our relationship which became a close friendship that has endured for a decade - we've been like one of those rare divorced couples who stay best friends, but just don't have sex. The pain lasted a good 10 or more years until I met someone else. Now I can tell my "friend" how much he hurt me, but I'm waiting a little longer until I've lost enough weight to give him a reason to regret his shallowness. I know it's small and petty and childish, but so is he and it may be the only way he'll understand what a mistake he made.

Shenzi03 · May 2012

Best answer EVER!!! You definitely got a keeper!! :flowerforyou:

JVandesteeg · May 2012

AMEN!! I can totally relate!

skullshank · May 2012

one of the big reasons i'm on this site and this mission is to get my wife worked up at the mere sight of me.

because, yes, i asked...and she was honest. i appreciated her honesty but i have feelings and it was tough to hear.

when we got together i was a fairly fit 24yo...i got lazy and peaked out at 242lbs.

i want her to be proud of me when we're sitting at the pool. i want her to notice when women check me out when we're out and about. i want her to look forward to "adult wrestling"! lol

these reasons are all in addition, of course, to doing this for myself and my health.

Caro1991 · May 2012

My guy cant keep his hands of me no matter what, we met when I was 135-140(5'3) after having both my kids I was at my heaviest 176-8 now am 168 and everything is the same except its harder to have sex when having a 18month old and a soon to be 3. I always ask how I look or what he thinks about me and he says my weight dont matter, I try to lose weight and he tries to feed me more... So I dont know lol but i've never been 50lbs heavier or 100. I never cared about him seein me naked or anything like that, i've learned how to love myself because of him, he even took me shopping and that made me feel good.

yannasmommy145 · May 2012

i agree..my husband has never stopped wanting me in any way..now im 50 pounds lighter and i can honestly say our relationship is the same...in fact he wonders y i want to lose weight and tells me im perfect the way i am : ) i agree i do forcus on the nedgatives about him but i shouldnt : )

HeatherNoyes · May 2012

I have asked my honey this question, not once or twice but a lot and his answer NEVER changes. He said that he isn't in love with me because of my body, but my heart, and I have put on 60 pounds since we met. He says that I'm just as irresistible now as I was 60 pounds lighter. He has never withheld touch or love as I have fluctuated. I am a lucky girl.

Spruillie03 · May 2012

What a keeper! Does he have a single brother in the Minneapolis area????

dolldreams · May 2012

My husband is...easily excited so my weight was never an issue for him. It was an issue for me though and he didn't like the way I avoided him in bed and sometimes got mad about how he touched my fat rolls. OMG TMI. :blushing:

HeatherNoyes · May 2012

good man!

annameier8706 · May 2012

my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

jenalderman · May 2012

I think my hubby has a little bit of fat fetish :devil: ...lol. I honestly think it is taking him some "getting used to" with the new thinner version of me.

Crystalynriley · May 2012

thats beautiful!!! best answer ever

I worked my way up to being comfortable with my fiance and after about two years i wasnt worried about how my body looked for him. I actually ask him all the time if he loves me (all of me, even though i am more than 100 pounds heavier than him.)
I really dont think he noticed i was skinny (185) or fat (246) because we were always the same intimacy wise, or friend wise, or so wise.

I always thought men only saw what they wanted to see, so wether or not you have a spare tire he might really like the way your butt looks, and if you have huge calves (me) he will still notice how i look up top. everyone has some asset they can show off, and the men will notice regardlesss of the number on the scale. just find the right man to notice.

if all he sees is "youre fat" he sounds like a jerk.

Bikini27 · May 2012

Mercenary1914 · May 2012

props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

jmelyan23 · May 2012

This was almost word for word my husband's same response when I asked him.

Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

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