Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

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Replies

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I am talking about marriage in general, not about each individual's marriage. If marriage in general is about sex, how the heck do impotent people, paraplegics etc. find and select a partner?

    Okay, don't answer that...it could get really weird in here real fast.

    We didnt say marriage in general is about sex, I simply asked that you include that sexual attraction is, in general, usually, for earthlings, PART of it.

    NOT *IT*

    just *PART* it

    Some of us earthlings have transcended the flesh. That's how I am losing so much weight now.

    hahaha-lulz.jpg
  • mmarlow61
    mmarlow61 Posts: 112 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    What a great answer <3

    I thought the same thing :D What a NICE guy!
  • mistikal13
    mistikal13 Posts: 1,457 Member
    He was always attracted me no matter what size I was. When I lost the weight he was just happy that I was happier and healthier.
  • wooze63
    wooze63 Posts: 32 Member
    WOw, that is a perfect answer!
  • FloraSin
    FloraSin Posts: 188 Member
    agree 110%...it's not ONLY about sexual attraction, but it most certainly IS about sexual attraction.

    i love my wife no matter what....fat, thin...whatever.
    i love my friend chris no matter what...fat, thin...whatever.

    big difference there, is that i don't wanna bang my friend chris. lol

    And...I just died laughing. Thanks. Murderer. Haha

    Also, yes, I think a lot of it has to do with the person your level of fitness (or lack thereof) makes you into. I could watch my boyfriend play The Witcher 2 for a few hours and be entertained (we discuss things at the same time), but that's not sexy (not saying he's unattractive when he does this, just that it's not a stimulating thing).

    However, if he's doing something energetic like when he plays soccer.... Well, yeah.
  • DemiRaye
    DemiRaye Posts: 37
    Thank you for posting this brave topic. It just made me realize something pretty amazing about my husband. At 177 pounds, he NEVER stopped wanting me, he never stopped wanting me every single day! Now that I am 23 pounds lighter, becoming more and more fit, he only wants me more. What a blessed girl I am, thank you for helping me see such a positive thing about my husband, with him I tend to focus on his negatives and simply put, I shouldn't!

    I relate to this completely! Unfortunately, I do tend to focus on all of the things my boyfriend has done wrong. But one thing is for sure, no matter how often I project my own insecurities into our relationship, he never ceases to remind of how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am regardless of my size.
  • littlewitch1973
    littlewitch1973 Posts: 139
    I asked my boyfriend this over the weekend. He told me this:

    "Both of my ex-wives were super skinny - the first one was 110lbs, and the second one might have been 98lbs. They were both complete and total b***** and made me miserable. You are completely the opposite -laid back, easy going and you like to... XXXXXX "

    I cant repeat the rest of it (its rather X-Rated!) but he made me feel perfect. He knows that I am working hard, and loves seeing the changes, and loves the fact we can "do" more together now. He also knows my personality isnt going to change, and I'm not going to stop liking to do the unmentionables he loves so much!!
  • Miss♥Ivi
    Miss♥Ivi Posts: 461
    My boyfriend CANNOT keep his hands off me, before the weight gain, during the weight gain, when I got to my highest and now, during the weight loss. It's all the time, non freaking stop. In his mind, I'm the hottest piece of ass on the planet. Regardless of it's size. :laugh:
  • MJesuele126
    MJesuele126 Posts: 55 Member
    My fiance tells me the truth which is what I love about him.. sometimes it wasnt what I wanted to hear but either way skinny fat chunky whatever he still loves me. but last night befor we went to sleep I was laying down and he held me and was like "wow babe where did your stomach go" and I was like stop your just being nice and hes like no Im serious good job.. I was like yayy!!
  • beebee0925
    beebee0925 Posts: 441 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    Yes sir. Great answer. I like that.
  • beebee0925
    beebee0925 Posts: 441 Member
    agree 110%...it's not ONLY about sexual attraction, but it most certainly IS about sexual attraction.

    i love my wife no matter what....fat, thin...whatever.
    i love my friend chris no matter what...fat, thin...whatever.

    big difference there, is that i don't wanna bang my friend chris. lol


    Literally LOL'ed when I saw this.
  • coopersmom2006
    coopersmom2006 Posts: 839
    My hubby has always been VERY honest and expressive at how much he's been attracted to me, no matter what my size was. Now the thing that he enjoys most is how much more confidence I have in myself. I don't feel like I need to cover up all the time so he gets more "free shows" as he calls them. LOL!
  • Ashley121205
    Ashley121205 Posts: 131 Member
    I have asked my husband. He got really upset but I forced him to answer. He did agree he was more attracted to me thinner but he was still attracted to me when I was heavier. I don't blame him a bit. I wouldn't have found me that attractive at the weight I was :embarassed:

    He showed me when I was heavier how attracted he was to me but now that I'm thinner I can tell how attracted he is to me because he won't leave me alone :laugh:
  • Melaniec78
    Melaniec78 Posts: 259 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'
    Aww I basically got the same answer but deep down I know as I lose more he tries harder to keep me and THAT FEELS GREAT!!
  • fjsutton
    fjsutton Posts: 60 Member
    Thank you for posting this brave topic. It just made me realize something pretty amazing about my husband. At 177 pounds, he NEVER stopped wanting me, he never stopped wanting me every single day! Now that I am 23 pounds lighter, becoming more and more fit, he only wants me more. What a blessed girl I am, thank you for helping me see such a positive thing about my husband, with him I tend to focus on his negatives and simply put, I shouldn't!
    You are absolutely right!! Im feeling real guilty right now. My husband and i fight constantly becasue i think he's just a horn dog, Even at my heaviest he was a horn dog. and now that im 30lbs lighter he's still a horn dog. But what does that tell me. He not only loved me regardless of my weigt but he wanted me regardless of my weight!!! You know one time durring an argument i was like "how can you want to have sex with me and i look like this, im fat, im this, im that?" and he was just like "i love you and i want to make love to you.. what's wrong with that?" I WAS TOTALLY ANNOYED, i really expected him to not want me because i didnt want myself and that just wansn't the case. what a fool ive been. always focusing on his negatives when we was constantly finding good in me. He derves a big hug:flowerforyou:
  • numberscolors
    numberscolors Posts: 254
    my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

    props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

    I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

    God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

    i second this^... i gained (and lost) 40ish pounds after beginning to date my boyfriend of 4 years. his weight has fluctuated a bit, as well (which is really a normal part of being human). a lot of my weight gain had to do with my severe depression and panic disorder that resulted from a history of trauma. i'm grateful that my sweetie never treated my weight gain as some sort of personal affront to him and that he respected and loved me enough to support me through these coping with these issues and regardless of how my body looked. my weight/appearance/body fat percentage has absolutely nothing to do with my love, respect, and commitment to my relationship.

    i know that everyone has their deal breakers, but, at risk of sounding judgmental, divorcing someone on the basis that they no longer meet your physical expectations is pretty shallow... even if the intention is to somehow maintain a certain level of self-love and self-respect in the relationship. if my boyfriend were to gain weight to a point that i found him less attractive (or more importantly, that HE seemed unhappy with his body), i'd be more concerned with the underlying cause and would want to make sure he was doing ok...
  • rsmblue
    rsmblue Posts: 353 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    awwwwwwwww
  • rsmblue
    rsmblue Posts: 353 Member
    My boyfriend CANNOT keep his hands off me, before the weight gain, during the weight gain, when I got to my highest and now, during the weight loss. It's all the time, non freaking stop. In his mind, I'm the hottest piece of ass on the planet. Regardless of it's size. :laugh:

    Definately a keeper!!!
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    FTW!
  • guildwars1987
    guildwars1987 Posts: 73 Member
    I've got with my wife when she was her biggest at over 300lbs. She lost about 150lbs during the course of a few years. Her lapband is not working as well anymore and she jumped back up to the 230s. I don't love her any less and I still find her just as attractive as the day I met her and at her skinniest. I'm attracted to her and who she is not just her body. Oh btw my wife is 42 and I'm 24. Most people my age seem to be always going after the young hot girl and looking to get their next lay. I found love in someone that is 18 years older than me and I found that love when she was 300+. I have something deeper than anything I could have ever hoped for. If someone tells you that they love you any less because of the way you look than that relationship was doomed from day one.
  • thekat78
    thekat78 Posts: 70 Member
    I never asked my boyfriend. I don't want to know the answer. I think I'm too scared.
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
    I have to admit, I'm running off. See ya!
  • sem41278
    sem41278 Posts: 89 Member
    I know my husband loves me no matter what but I also know he is much more attracted to s smaller me. It doesn't bother me. I feel the same way about myself :)
  • tlc12078
    tlc12078 Posts: 334 Member
    I've got with my wife when she was her biggest at over 300lbs. She lost about 150lbs during the course of a few years. Her lapband is not working as well anymore and she jumped back up to the 230s. I don't love her any less and I still find her just as attractive as the day I met her and at her skinniest. I'm attracted to her and who she is not just her body. Oh btw my wife is 42 and I'm 24. Most people my age seem to be always going after the young hot girl and looking to get their next lay. I found love in someone that is 18 years older than me and I found that love when she was 300+. I have something deeper than anything I could have ever hoped for. If someone tells you that they love you any less because of the way you look than that relationship was doomed from day one.


    I wish more men thought like you.
  • striveforhealthy
    striveforhealthy Posts: 137 Member
    My husband is oblivious (or so it seems). I was overweight when we started dating and gradually put 40lbs on. He has never made any indication about my weight getting out of control, but I noticed it myself. If he did, he kept it to himself. My weight loss has been so gradual that I don't think he truly knows how much I've actually lost. It's taken me a year and a half to lose what I have so I think unless I put a before and after in front of him that he has no idea. He obviously knows I've lost weight just not the extent of it.

    To be honest, I don't want to know what he felt about it because it was in the past. However, I did tell him straight up that if my weight starts getting out of control again to say something to me. I told him I never want to be as heavy as I once was.
  • Angelgirl040688
    Angelgirl040688 Posts: 56 Member
    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'


    omg thats so sweet...
  • myogibbs
    myogibbs Posts: 182
    I didn't ask b/c well...honestly he wouldn't answer, even if I did tell him it was totally ok & he could be truthful, but I honestly do believe that he did even when I was at my heaviest. That being said...the other day I was trying on bathing suits for our upcoming vacation to the beach & he stopped & stared at me & said "that bathing suit looks totally different on you now" and just stared with his mouth open. Wow...great moment...worth every single drop of sweat at the gym :)
  • Wouga
    Wouga Posts: 145 Member
    I'm fairly fortunate, I don't have to ask this question. Even at my largest my husband has always made sure I knew he thought I was sexy, beautiful, and desirable. Now getting me to believe that is another story, but I know his thoughts towards me have never changed.
  • toomuchsweetness
    toomuchsweetness Posts: 168 Member
    I didnt ask mine, he plain told me... hence my motivation for being here.... the words are harsh, and I know he loves me no matter what, , but if he didnt say them, I would be the same over eater I have been for years... one day I will thank him, but not just yet... I want to be happy with my results first because I am important to me. :) ty for sharing.. is nice to know im not alone.
  • kemccarty
    kemccarty Posts: 33
    I met my (now)husband at my heaviest, and I have lost nearly 40 lbs since the beginning of our relationship. He is such a sweetheart. If he loved me at my heaviest, hes going to looooooovvveeee me at my healthiest. ;-)
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