"You don't need to lose any more weight!"

It's because people think that slender people are just that way naturally-- that belief excuses them from doing the work to get slender themselves. So when they see someone else doing the work, they get guilty, and then annoyed. Example:

I just had a body fat analysis done at work at the employee benefits fair today, just out of curiosity. So I'm looking at the little form they give me with the ranges for males and females and I was really surprised that males can have such lower percentages! I walk over to a coworker's desk to chat about it and she gets ALL DEFENSIVE. First of all that my body fat is in the healthy range, she got annoyed about that, but I didn't go there to brag, she asked. Second that males have more muscles and they burn more fat and they are just skinny skin bones, and she was severely annoyed about how unfair it all is. I was trying to say that well yeah, I forgot about that, how males have more testosterone so they tend to have more muscles naturally, which changes the percentage of fat, and metabolism is based on a lot of different factors, but she really was not listening. It is just all so unfair to her.

My point is, some people really have talked themselves out of a healthy lifestyle because of things that are supposedly out of their control. My coworker seems to tell herself, "I'm female, I'm 50, it's literally impossible, NOT FAIR, oh well at least everyone else is a little chubby like me." And then someone like me comes along, yeah I'm younger, but I also put effort into my fitness, and her view of reality is challenged! She starts to hear things that sound a lot like "it's your own fault you're fat" and she has to insist that it's all out of her control, it's so easy for everyone else to be slender and healthy but she's special and different and it's not her fault. Then she sees other people putting in the effort that she KNOWS FULL WELL she should, but she has other priorities. And fine, that's her choice, but my efforts are my choices too.

If she really wanted it, she would put in the effort, and then it's only a matter of time. That's why I'm slender and fit, because I put in effort-- as much effort as necessary! And if the amount of work you're willing to do isn't enough to give you the results you want, then either 1. change your efforts or 2. change your goals. Otherwise you'll be stuck in this perpetual cycle of not doing enough work and complaining that it's not working.

I'm not trying to be a blaming blamer of fat people, I am only talking about people who are not trying hard enough because of their own excuses.

I get that a lot. About 3 years ago I went from 210 to 103 then I gain 75 of it back now when I tell people I want to get back down to about 105-110 they say are you sure thats not to skinny, or you look fine now. I think your right when you said they just say that to be nice. I guess i have never had anyone tell me "hay your to fat" but that doesn't make it okay when they are just trying to make me feel better by saying you don't need to loose any weight.

It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight

I concur.:grumble:

the thing with this is some people are too skinny and its genuine concern, then theres peeps like us who are just on the plump side and what to shift that 10 lbs. people are too polite and think we're looking for compliments when we arent, the problem is when we get down to our goals, they will say the same thing lol x

this drives me insane. i could go on forever about this but for the sake of not aggravating myself, i will just say that-- however annoying-- take it as a compliment and move on. my quote for this week in all aspects of my life applies here, too: "i don't get bitter, i just get better"

Everday from my wife, getting to skinny working out to much, ect.I won't stop till I am happy!

Yeah, but I just think they're trying to be complimentary (at 5'6", 172 lbs I obviously still need to lose quite a bit), so I just let it go. The only person it bothers me from is my mom. She genuinely thinks I look good and don't need to lose any more weight. She thinks SHE absolutely needs to lose 10 more lbs, despite the fact that doing so would put her almost into the underweight category and her doctor has told her she does NOT need to lose any more weight. I'm a little concerned about the way she sees herself.

I will try that again. I am 5'11 and i was almost 250lbs with a 40 inch waist. I am now just under 200 with a 32 inch waist and i would like to end up somewhere between 180-190 which will still have me above my BMI and i am feeling good now but like it has been said before i don't look fit naked. I have had to buy new clothes although i tried to put it off until i got to my goal weight but a belt can only do so much.

I have heard people say that i don't need to lose anymore, however when i graduated high school 25 years ago i was less than 130 lbs and no one commented about being too thin then. i believe like everyone else has said that everyone has a point that they feel comfortable with their weight and that is where you stop trying to lose but i think you need to keep working on the toning or what is to stop you from going back up.

thats my two cents anyway

I figured you meant you were a serious weightlifter; supposedly they show as "obese" on the charts when in fact they are very fit.

And the high-school skinny of guys whose bones have outgrown all the rest of them... well, frankly, they look better once they fill in a bit. My guy was still high-school growth spurt skinny, six feet and 129 pounds, when we married, but he looks a LOT better at about thirty pounds over that. And in fact he would be underweight at 129, and is on the low end of "normal" at 160.

You have to remember also, we are living in a time where there is an OBESITY epidemic.

That meaning, of course we look "fine" or dont need to lose more because look at what we are being compared to? Obese, unfit, unhealthy, dying at young ages, people.

There are now children, sadly, who weigh as much as i do if not more.


Listen to your body, if your body tells you it is unhealthy, if youre tired and aching and sickly its time for a change. ive seen plenty, PLENTY of thin people who are not fit in the least bit and could most definitely never out run me.
I may be heavier but my endurance and strength is blossoming and im becoming lean and fit.

People who make these comments are not always the "fat" ones.
I have had a lot of skinny friends make comments as well. I've always been the "fat friend" what will happen when i can stroll on the beach in my bikini?

Jealousy is running rampid these days.

I'm 5 foot 6 and 160 pounds and I know I need to lose at least another 15 to 20 pounds, and I have had several people tell me i don't need to lose any more and that I look great. While I may look better than I did when I started, I DO still have more to lose. I don't know if they are just trying to be nice or what...

I get this all the time. I just tell them I have AIDS then they leave me alone.

<snicker> Well done. I can think of all kinds of diagnosis that could shut people up. "I've lost too much weight? Oh yeah, that contagious tapeworm has been really difficult to clear"

Does any one else get this? It's so irritating. I think people are trying to be nice when they say it, but how do you respond? In my profile pic (taken today) I'm 156. I was 110 (5'3") previously, and that's where I want to be. When I tell people that (when they ask) they say "you shouldn't lose that much more" or "you look fine now" or "you'll be too skinny". Do you get this and how do you handle it?

My 22 year old daughter has recently been losing weight. She is 5'4" and was at around 160 she is now close to 130 and looks fantastic. I know she wants to lose more but, she isn't stressing about it. Anyway we were at a party with family friends so the parents and the kids her age. I commented on how great she looked and a few of the ladies were saying yes she looks like she needs to eat some pizza...REALLY!!! She has worked had to get 30 pounds off the right way healthy eating and portion control. I could not believe it. I think you have to get to a healthy weight where you feel comfortable and let they non supportive people say what they will but, in reality they are envious of your will power

I hate it when people are trying to be polite or are trying to fit you into their own conception of what's a healthy look. If you compare America to Asian countries, people have a significant different view on what's considered a "healthy" weight. (Asian BMIs have a lower cutoff point for overweight and obese). You have to put things in perspective. Weight loss does significantly reduce cholesterol, blood pressure, and a whole bunch of healthy benefits. I just smile and say I want to look fit so I work out! And they shut up.

I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...

My husband is 6ft and at a time he was in this range..165-170 and he looked great! That's actually his goal..well, not that he's working on it..lol..but he'd like to be back to 170..he's currently 196 and I think still looks great! Good luck in getting to your goal weight!

"You already look fine" is what someone says when they feel threatened by the prospect of someone else's success.