ignorance about obesity on MFP
Replies
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Honestly, this made me laugh. I have yet to see ANY posts bashing any fat people, and I'm on here at least 8 hours a day.
I've seen tons and have gotten involved in them as well. They usually get pretty nasty, so they get deleted.0 -
An obese person is judged to be lazy, slovenly, or whatever you want to call it. Because no one really knows the issue until you talk to that person. A skinny person is not stereotyped, because you judge the outside
*cough*
*choke*
*bullsht*
*cough*
You are right too. This is supposed to be a safe haven and every body type is beaten down here at some point. Skinny people are stereotyped here just as much as obese, muscular, naked, etc.0 -
exactly my point which is why it shouldnt even be discussed here. The people the forums are reaching are those that are trying to make a difference in their lives. We get put down in every different way, why come here for the same thing. Whats to keep people motivatedOver the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
but this means that the people who are on MFP that are overweight and obese and are here trying... do NOT fit into the category of people who are obese or severely weight and dont give **** - its two different groups of people right?
Or am I wrong here?
people who dont care and indulge in gluttony and sloth vs people who were never happy with excess weight and are trying their damndest to change for the better?
To me these are completely different demographics.0 -
Ignorance is everywhere, unfortunately. Even represented in some of these replies (ie. people become obese because of "themselves"...wow).0
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I think overall, people are to quick to judge...period!! We should never judge other people but it does happen regardless of weight, body shape, personal views and so on. Judging can be due to numerous things...self esteem, personal experience, ignorance....I think there comes a point to just ignore it if it is not directly at yourself! Sometimes I will open a post, start to read and get out of it....no point in wasting my time on things like that...I think thats why I stick to the Success Stories LOL!!
With that said sometimes the comments that bother us do so because it has struck a nerve or hit close to home...I am in no way agreeing that obese people are lazy and undetermined but when I was was at my highest weight thats exactly why I got there (so I would agree for me alone on that)...yet I constantly get the you don't know what its like to be fat because of judging me the way I am now....the only person anyone should judge should be there self. Peace, love, beauty and happiness for all!! (If I had it my way!)
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Good for you! I've actually tried to make that point several times with little success. In fact, the response I usually get is pretty nasty. This is supposed to be a place for support, kindness, and respect. But it most definitely is NOT much of the time. A lot of judgement and ugliness goes on in these threads, not only on the topic of obesity but on just about any other.
As for the topic of obesity, though - it occurs to me that a lot of posters are sort of like people who've quit smoking. You know how people who quit smoking often become the most outspoken critics of smokers? Same principle, I think.
If you're obese and you're trying to change your life, I say kudos, more power to you, and hang in there.0 -
Ya really the post could just be directed toward rude people on MFP in general, wether it's focused on obese people, what society calls normal, or skinny people. The whole goal is to have a support system to reach whatever our goals are gain lose stay the same whatever!0
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Just remember....There are more of us then them!!! :bigsmile:
NICE PEOPLE UNITE...WE WILL TAKE OVER MFP!!!0 -
Just remember....There are more of us then them!!! :bigsmile:
LOL With how much I weigh, do I count as two? It's like a double army. LOL:bigsmile:0 -
I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.0
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You're gonna have to give me links to these fat bashing posts because I'm on here practically all day and I don't see any (except for the occasional troll). I do see stupid bashing posts though - usually well deserved.
The forums aren't the place to get close and personal support and critique - you need to build up a solid friend base for that.0 -
Congrats on all these achievments!!! That is fantastic you GO girl and thank you for understanding my point!Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
YES YES YES!!! Even if we did eat ourselves silly to get to this "lowly state," at least we are trying!! Yes, I am classified as Super MORBIDLY OBESE....I have still lost 73+lbs. But I have done 5 5ks this year and one 10k. If you saw my wall today...I hit 310 days on MFP!! I'm a beast baby!! We'll get there....dont berate us!!
*disclaimer-I am yelling @ the same people that the OP is yelling at!
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TOTALLY AGREES!0 -
I think overall, people are to quick to judge...period!! We should never judge other people but it does happen regardless of weight, body shape, personal views and so on. Judging can be due to numerous things...self esteem, personal experience, ignorance....I think there comes a point to just ignore it if it is not directly at yourself! Sometimes I will open a post, start to read and get out of it....no point in wasting my time on things like that...I think thats why I stick to the Success Stories LOL!!
With that said sometimes the comments that bother us do so because it has struck a nerve or hit close to home...I am in no way agreeing that obese people are lazy and undetermined but when I was was at my highest weight thats exactly why I got there (so I would agree for me alone on that)...yet I constantly get the you don't know what its like to be fat because of judging me the way I am now....the only person anyone should judge should be there self. Peace, love, beauty and happiness for all!! (If I had it my way!)
this and I dont normally let the forums get to me but there were just so many that i felt i should say something. Regardless of how we got here or what demon we are facing we should be supportive of one another and not pointing out negatives. thanks for this. Good luck to you 0 -
? I haven't seen threads attacking obese people.0
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I have a slightly different view: This is the internet. It is open to the masses and within the masses there are a few winners and a whole lot of losers. You cannot take offence at anything stated by strangers in an anonymous forum. If they are fat bashing, they may actually just be stirring the pot and not really have an issue with fatties. Or, maybe they are a fit musclehead who really is an arrogant jerk. You don't know, and shouldn't care. If you're looking for kindness and support, then just read the threads that offer it and ignore the rest. My old man used to have a saying "Nix Illigitimus Carborundum" he told me it was latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down!". Sage advice indeed.0
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The root of the issue is the way obesity is portrayed in media. For example, I saw a documentary on obesity on TV, more specifically, Food Addiction. I was under the premise that the show was made to help people understand the illness of food addiction, and gain compassion for those suffering from it. Instead, what I got was so disgusted I had to turn the channel. In the opening 5 minutes I saw wide angle shots of a completely naked, more than morbidly obese guy laying in a recliner barely covered with a sheet, with lesions all over the leg skin, with a ridiculously large heaping platter full of food. The camera proceeded to zoom in to the man's mouth with more than a bite of food in it, while chewing in a very unmannerly fashion (slobbery, sauce all over the upper lip, smacking sound). It turned my stomach. Tell me honestly that that sight wouldn't psychologically cause one who did not know a person with Food Addiction to think of trigger words like "gross", "disgusting", "glutton"?! It certainly wouldn't inspire compassion or a desire to see more, would it? The only media I've seen positively portray obese people is Biggest Loser, and even there the opening show always includes shots of the contestants sitting in their cars shoveling in Big Macs and Whoppers...
There is no way in hell ANYONE on this website should be harassed or spoken ill of. Anyone willing to make an effort to change their lives should be encouraged, applauded and admired.0 -
You're gonna have to give me links to these fat bashing posts because I'm on here practically all day and I don't see any (except for the occasional troll). I do see stupid bashing posts though - usually well deserved.
The forums aren't the place to get close and personal support and critique - you need to build up a solid friend base for that.
This is true! I personally haven't seen the threads on here. I have encountered it in other social groups or in person. Ignore the jerks and pay attention to the shiny happy people.0 -
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.0 -
This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.0 -
You are my hero!:flowerforyou: I have been considering leaving MFP, because it seems to be a place of judgement rather than support or encouragment. All these fat bashing posts piss me off! These people posting them are the kinds of people who would look at someone like me in disgust while I am working out and wonder why I am not trying to do something about my weight.Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
It just gets annoying and discouraging to try and make a positive change and sit and read posts passing judgement on fat people. :sad:0 -
mods delete nasty posts, as they should...links cannot be obtained. She's not lying. These types of posts are normally not intended to go that direction, but get there quickly. They get nasty, get reported and get locked or deleted....like many other topics. Let's just all share a prozac and chill.0
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This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.
Thanks Brett!0 -
I agree! My obesity started out as depression, that's how it started, food was my comfort. I'm sure that not having friends and not having an out had a lot to do with it, but it made me lazy, and after it all I did become lazy, tired, and felt less then human. I was obese once, and I think a lot of people who use to be there forget how hard it was. I haven't forgotten, it feels like I was just there. A saying that keeps me going every day is "It's hard being over weight, and it's hard being healthy, chose your hard"... I do have a family member who is morbidly obese and who has made it very clear she's jealous of my weight loss success and I've tried to be her support but I ended up having to cut her off completely because she was trying to bring me down. She flat out told me she likes being a bigger girl, but yet she was bringing me down and always cutting me down. I refuse to let anyone bring back to that point and I have the power to control what I do and let be done to me, so I cut her off. I still love her but I don't have to associate with her. I'm a blunt person so if I have said it on here or anywhere else about someone, the person already knows how I feel cus I already said it to them. I have no filter, and if I think a certain way I say it out loud while my mind is processing it. I try to think before I say things but usually I don't.
Though I have never degraded her for being over weight, I have tried to just be there for her when she was down, she degraded me a few times, so that's why I cut her out.0 -
:drinker: :drinker:mods delete nasty posts, as they should...links cannot be obtained. She's not lying. These types of posts are normally not intended to go that direction, but get there quickly. They get nasty, get reported and get locked or deleted....like many other topics. Let's just all share a prozac and chill.0 -
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.0 -
The internet can bring out the worst in people. You can post nasty comments and say rude things towards people when your behind a silly username and avatar. It makes me sick reading some of the things people say, not just here but everywhere.
I haven't really gone on the MFP community much, so I haven't seen a lot of negativity, but I think it's really sad. We should be encouraging others, not insulting them!0 -
AMEN!!! People can be very hurtful. That's not why we are here.0
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I have a slightly different view: This is the internet. It is open to the masses and within the masses there are a few winners and a whole lot of losers. You cannot take offence at anything stated by strangers in an anonymous forum. If they are fat bashing, they may actually just be stirring the pot and not really have an issue with fatties. Or, maybe they are a fit musclehead who really is an arrogant jerk. You don't know, and shouldn't care. If you're looking for kindness and support, then just read the threads that offer it and ignore the rest. My old man used to have a saying "Nix Illigitimus Carborundum" he told me it was latin for "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down!". Sage advice indeed.
That is good advice, but it doesn't change the fact that there's a whole lot of nastiness and judgment and ugliness out there that is wholly unnecessary. Have we as a society degraded so badly that we must insult or poke fun at others to amuse ourselves or make ourselves feel better about our own lot in life? How pitiful is that? The internet has become ugly by the choice of those that use it, not because it is inherent. It does not have to be, and should not be. It is true that the opinion of strangers should not bother you; it is also true that there is absolutely no reason to be rude or nasty or judgmental to a stranger. More good advice: treat others as you would like to be treated. I can guarantee you that those making the rude statements would not like to be treated in kind.0 -
Some people are just MEAN! Plain and simple. It's a form of bullying. They lack so much self esteem that they strike out and easy victims....they are nothing but "Internet Thugs!"
totally agree, I dared ask once a genuine question at the time and being new , why eat back exxercise cals?
I got abuse from loads calling me fat, lazy , coach potato, even told to exercise more to play with my grand kids, cartoons of stick men banging head against wall etc etc. If these peeps had bothered to read I had lost weight, 18mth ago was only nine stone but ballooned with meds, which is why I joined mfp, but I line dance twice a week and every day do toning and aerobics (apart from weekends lol) and always play with my grand kids.
To be honest was so upset by the bullying I almost gave mfp up but then I thought stuff im doing this for me not them .0
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