ignorance about obesity on MFP
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Its not rude at all...and i know the facts on the net and I know its not gonna vanish but I also dont feel a need to act like it doesnt exist. I have an awesome group of friends on here, one of which was extremely hurt by one of these posts, and I just think I should be able to call them out on it and maybe make ONE person change just a little. If not, i tried. I dont take them personally becasue its not personal but it doesnt change the fact that its just plain old fashioned MEANThis is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.0 -
Preach it, sista....I have been in your shoes, and it took a long time for me to get to where I am. You will too!! Just stay determined and dedicated. People can be ignorant sometimes...self-esteem has alot to do with weight (I know this personally). Just know that I am here for you
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Watch how this goes: For all people who disagreed with my previous post Thank You. That means that people are entitled to agree or disagree with me and that, like those who bash on fat or skinny people, it would be rude of me to say that you are wrong to disagree with what I have to say.
See how that works. If you can't handle people disagreeing with what you have to say then don't respond or post.0 -
Honestly, this made me laugh. I have yet to see ANY posts bashing any fat people, and I'm on here at least 8 hours a day.
Same here. I patrol these forums chronically, and don't see anything remotely close to what the OP is talking about.0 -
Ignorance about obesity?
Let's have a roll call.
How many of you "Skinny", "Fit" people on MFP are formerly obese?
Raises hand... :drinker:0 -
I have witnessed more support and encouragement towards obese people on here than I have the opposite. I also have noticed that people have attacked THIN women (men too, but more women) far more than I have seen an obese woman get attacked on here. There will always be those people. You can either choose to have a backbone and ignore them, or you can choose to let the minority's words bother you. If it bothers you that much, don't go on the forums. Not everyone is going to be nice or say exactly what you want to hear.0
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Some things to remember:
Your personal friend group is your own choice. These forums are open to all.
Every minute spent reading posts of any kind is a minute not exercising, unfortunately, because I love chatting with my buddies!
Satan worms his way into every positive loving thing in the world. The good that is done on MFP is no different from the rest of the world to him.
God loves the bashers, mashers, and bullies and sees right into their hearts and knows exactly why they act / talk the way they do.
IF you can show mercy, do so, that would be the best. If not, stay out of the forums. There's no reason to stress yourself out over anything on the internet or in real life for that matter. Just be around what you personally know you can handle. There's more to learning how to eat, exercise in life..there's learning how to live too...and sometimes a person was working on that harder than the physical and turned out to be a pretty great person with a tummy on him/her.
May we all have the success we've always dreamed of, prayed for, tried again and again to achieve and loved others along the way in spite of our personal pain and misery.
Someone wonderful once said, My Strength Is Perfected In Weakness. To His Glory!0 -
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.0 -
HEAR HEAR!!
The person who posted that should take a long hard look at themselves and their own failings!0 -
This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.
I have to agree with this. It stinks that this is an issue...but fact of the matter is it is. For whatever reason there are people who just enjoy the drama, or who have staunch opinions and get nasty when they are challeneged or threatened, or take super offense because they twist words to be offensive. It happens with any thread that is of one opinion on a tense matter. The OP has every right to post this, but those who disagree have every right to respond. Best just to move on with your journey and know you're doing something for YOU.0 -
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.0 -
OH MY....to all of it..0
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Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.0
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I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P0 -
I never have seen these types of posts and I'm on here like all day. Not to say you are lying, but I'd say its more the exception than the rule.
What I do see posted on here all the time is about "Real Women," implying women without curves, or thin women, are not "real women." That offends me. People should just be nice and supportive to ALL.
I always look at is as severely photoshopped models are not real because well...they aren't. If a photographer takes 2 inches off of a waist with liquify,smooths discolorations and blemishes with healing tool, and slices off thighs inner and outer, then they aren't real. I think that's where the movement came from. Real women aren't airbrushed. That's how I look at it anyway.0 -
While I agree for the most part we as humans are flawed to the point we will judge a book by its cover. An obese person is judged to be lazy, slovenly, or whatever you want to call it. Because no one really knows the issue until you talk to that person. A skinny person is not stereotyped, because you judge the outside, until you find out that they have an eating disorder then you feel sorry for them. I can understand getting defensive against people voicing their stereotype of obese people, especially those who may have recently been obese themselves, but they are human and are free to think how they want. Just my opinion.
This is BS. Skinny people get bashed like CRAZY on here.
This exactly!!!! I need to loose over 100 lbs and I cringe when I hear all of the skinny bashing. Not so much here but I've been seeing a ton of posts on FB saying "This is more beautiful than this" with at picture of someone who is overweight and someone who is skinny, saying that the skinny person is less beautiful. I can't begin to describe how much I hate that. Also, the fact that they will say that someone who is overweight and even obese is average or healthy as a way to justify obesity. I am all for loving ourselves and being confident at our current weight but it is not a social injustice when someone says that we need to lose weight for our own health.
I absolutely love MFP and I don't see the fat bashing the OP has seen. If it is going on I'm sure it is in the extreme minority.0 -
I have seen way too many negative posts on the boards here. It doesn't make a difference if the posts are putting down people who are overweight or underweight, all of it is so uncalled for and not productive at all. After all. we are all here to get healthy for the most part. So It would be great to just come on to read about the positive things or the challenges people are having. We are supposed to be here to help wherever we can and provide support and encouragement. At least thats what I signed up for! Keep on going everyone and just know that there are alot of us who are just here to do our best and help others do the same. 0
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Wow! I haven't seen those posts, but I am so sorry that you did. Don't take it personal. People, as a group, are ignorant and stupid. Just treasure the individuals that you meet here with the same goals, motivations, interests, and spirit as you, and you will succeed in spite of the stupidity. Best of luck! :flowerforyou:0
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The world is full of ignorant, sanctimonious, a**holes. Best to just learn to ignore them, they aren't worth your time.0
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There are some pretty arrogant people here who treat people who aren't as fit as them as inferior to them. There are also people who are out of shape who rip on the ones who are in shape. It's a big clusterf*ck of name calling. Welcome to MFP!
This is so true! Nobody is ever going to please everyone. Just be proud of yourself for taking the right steps. I was told that I was so beautiful when I was skinny but the comments stopped when I started to gain weight. I finally got to a point in my life where I had to tell myself "Screw it! You are who you are!" You can hit one end of the spectrum or the other and people will hate you and be nasty to you for whatever reason. I understand that the nasty comments can get to be too much after a while but these people don't know me outside of some little letters on their computer screen and they obviously don't want to know me either. What do I care? I'll never see them in person. Go ahead and call me disgusting. It's not like I've never heard that one before. I'm here for a reason and I'm not about to let some narrowminded individual take that from me.0 -
some people forget where they came from and that doesnt only go to weight loss or gain. Proud and happy for all those that have finished their journey. Doesnt give them the right to bash those that havent.Ignorance about obesity?
Let's have a roll call.
How many of you "Skinny", "Fit" people on MFP are formerly obese?
Raises hand... :drinker:0 -
Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.
THIS^^
For your info I gained about 70+ lbs from being hospitalized due to pneumonia and was put on steroids (3 times in one year). This put me to an super obese state. Yeah I was overweight before due to being judged, low self esteem, a marriage where I was abused in every way, and I could go on...and on....and on....but what do you care. And honestly it is people like who upset me the most.0 -
What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.0 -
Threads like this are 50% wild hyperbole, 40% tl;dr and 10% trolling and make me love the internet more and more.0
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Totally in agreement. How inconsiderate and narrow minded it is to say such comments and don't even know a person's story. This is another problem within societies especially in the U.S. Heavy and negative stereotypes on "obesity" and what people think they "know" about the obese population. Many of those who are striving to become healthier has been influenced by the tremendous amount of availability of fast foods and unhealthy foods and how hard it can be to purchase healthy foods. Those who have these negative stereotypes seriously need to get a life. Thanks for standing up for everyone who is working so hard to become a healthier individual! :drinker:0
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I'm hardly ever on MFP. I sign in once or twice a day to log calories and exercise. I rarely look at threads, respond even more infrequently.
I have seen fat bashing, skinny bashing, gay bashing, hetero bashing ... all sorts of bashing.
Point is, why the bashing at all? No matter what the reason for obesity (to use the example here), what business of ours is it how they got there? If they ask for advice and support, either offer it or ignore them. There's no reason for all the negativity on these threads. No reason for the rudeness and ugliness.
People are who they are. Most won't change, but those that do will do so by personal choice, not because someone said something insulting and ugly to them. And those making the ugly comments sure would not appreciate being judged in turn.
It costs none of us anything to be civil to one another. You don't even have to be kind, but polite would be good. And if you can't manage that, well, there's nothing wrong with silence.0 -
I'm hardly ever on MFP. I sign in once or twice a day to log calories and exercise. I rarely look at threads, respond even more infrequently.
I have seen fat bashing, skinny bashing, gay bashing, hetero bashing ... all sorts of bashing.
Point is, why the bashing at all? No matter what the reason for obesity (to use the example here), what business of ours is it how they got there? If they ask for advice and support, either offer it or ignore them. There's no reason for all the negativity on these threads. No reason for the rudeness and ugliness.
People are who they are. Most won't change, but those that do will do so by personal choice, not because someone said something insulting and ugly to them. And those making the ugly comments sure would not appreciate being judged in turn.
It costs none of us anything to be civil to one another. You don't even have to be kind, but polite would be good. And if you can't manage that, well, there's nothing wrong with silence.
:drinker: 0 -
Fat Bashing = Bad
Skinny Bashing = Bad
Troll/Stupidity Bashing = A hell of a lot of fun!0 -
Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
Amen!!!0 -
It always amazes me that so many of the people who have no problem calling a fat person lazy, stupid, lacking will power, disgusting, gross, etc are the very same people who are completely offended should someone dare try to explain the difference between "your" and "you're" or "loose" and "lose". They have all sorts of excuses for their ignorance but cut no slack at all for someone else.Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all0
This discussion has been closed.
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