The reason I drink...

My twins are almost 3 and a half and I have to admit you have shown me things my children have not thought of yet. AND I hope they will not. Having twins is a whole different level of survival parenting.

Don't let then see this thread then!!!!!!!

I'm SO glad I stopped at NONE!

My daughter now 8 when about 3 decided she needed more cream for her bottom and used an entire tub of Sudocrem (Zinc oxide cream) you know the waterproof stuff.......no sleep that night!

the boys have slowly destroyed the garden and most of the shed......

my reason for livin....honest

I have none to share....and strangely this thread confirms my choice as a wise one.

Right there with ya!!

I am also childless by choice. Every once in a while I get a twinge of baby fever. Then I remember I sometimes don't even like the commitment and cost of taking care of my Pomeranian (daily walking & attention, monthly hair grooming and bath). Love my fur baby, and he's the most I can handle!

I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but have you considered any sort of behavioral analysis and/or help from a child psychologist to see if there's some way to get these two under control? Different kids have different needs, and maybe you just need a little help figuring out what it is?

On the upside, keeping up with those two probably means that the drinks could be considered "exercise calories".

This is what I was thinking. I work with kids with Austism and focus my approach in ABA (applied behavior analysis). I hate to say that this is not normal behavior for young kids...at least not on a constant basis. Every kid gets into trouble from time to time, but if this is a regular thing I would be concerned. My 5 year old step daughter would catch hell for making messes like that...but also even since she was younger, would never dream of that stuff. (her worst offense was when her and her cousin played "beauty salon" and cut each others hair. Lucky for me natural consequence of having a god awful hair cut did the trick and did not need and other consequence!) Things need to be done here...besides drinking and laughing away the pain.

Take it you have no children of your own... ^(" Things need to be done here...besides drinking and laughing away the pain.")

OMFG thank you for sharing....I thought I was the only one...my son is now almost 7 but still manages to make me drink quite often!!!

Well my boy has been one crazy hell-raiser. He will be 10 this coming August. He's been suspended from school more times than I can count, the first time was in Kindergarten for kicking a 2nd grader in the head while she was on the ground. He's since been suspended for hitting / kicking / biting / throwing things at teachers as well as other students. He's tried to leave school a few times. (He's doing quite a lot better now though, in 4th grade and is very bright. He gets good grades, he just has a few behavioral issues due to his ADHD. Not nearly as severe as things used to be though, thank God!)

Before he was potty trained he used to take off his dirty diapers and smear his poop all over the walls of his room, all over his crib, the floor, his door, toys, and sometimes he would actually hide it! Oh dear God, I thought it would never end... He was almost potty trained at about 2 1/2, but had one of those relapses kids sometimes do, and we had to go back to diapers at night. We finally got him completely potty trained when he was almost 4. I can't even remember how many times I scrubbed poop off his walls, toys, bed, etc. Terrible times, my friends! Terrible times! We replaced his carpet twice because of it and the fact that he kept tearing it up off the floor (YES, he tore it up!), and the carpet he has now needs replaced because he ripped some of it up as well. Can't afford to replace it right now though! At least it's clean! lol We have also repainted his walls twice because of him coloring on them and putting holes in the drywall. His walls are currently covered in crayon and marker again, and have several holes in them because we can't afford to have them fixed again yet. He also used to throw toys out his window. He also kicked our youngest cat, Pazuzu, for scratching him when the little kitten was all of about 3 months old and ended up breaking his leg. Took about 12 weeks for the poor cat to heal but he did and he's just fine now! The vet said we would have to amputate or put him to sleep since we couldn't afford surgery, but we couldn't do either of those things either. We kept him in a large kennel until his leg healed, kept close watch over him and gave him tons of affection. It sucked for him, because it took a long time for the leg to heal - but I think he's lucky to be with us and he is the sweetest kitty ever now. Kind of temperamental, but not vicious or aggressive. He just doesn't like my son, at all, understandably!

There's a lot of bad, but there's way more good with my son. Only hearing the worst stuff he's done, of course it sounds terrible, and a lot of it was, I won't lie... lol. But, he is the sweetest kid you'll ever meet and his smile can light up an entire room full of people. He just doesn't think before he does things a lot of the time, it's what ADHD is like. He tries really hard though, and it shows. Especially this year in school I've noticed big changes in his level of maturity. He's growing up way too fast honestly... lol. I got pretty weepy last night watching videos of him when he was 4 at Christmas. The age of innocence!

LMFAO great post....

I remember when I was a kid I put a Peanut Butter Sandwhich in the VCR because it kept eating our tapes... So I gave him something to eat...

take my meds and spit them out when parents weren't looking

I kicked a nurse in the face for trying to hold me down while the doctor put eyedrops in my eye... I then started crying because it burnt so bad and I kicked the doctor in the nuts....

Put a towel around my neck and dove out of the window like I was superman and I got cut... (doesn't work like it does in the movies)

Hide my dads keys so he couldn't go to work...

played in my dads old van and accidently knocked it out of gear... It coasted backwards all the way to the gas station and took out a newspaper dispenser and did some damage to the building...

Fought my sister EVERY DAY

I love this!!!! Godbless you hahahaha!

THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!!!! You need a vacation! My kids do similar stuff and HAVE broken our first 58' TV

My twins are barely grown (almost 19) and they still give me headaches and spend all my money!

Word.

Kids are the reason someone invented beer!

ahhahahaha..OmG im dying! that was awesome, thanks for sharing.

I love my kid, he's a handful and the reason I had to quit smoking pot

Yes, this confirms my choice not to have kids. Cheers! And good luck.

OP - lmao! But on a serious note, thank goodness I only have the one. My best friend has three boys who get up to all sorts. Like flooding the bathroom not once not twice but three times. Has also demolished their bedrooms and broken into locked cupboards....the list goes on.

Have a drink on me. Sounds like you need it. Lol!

<-This chick is a mother of stair steps (BOYS) 5, 6, and 7 now....need I say more? bahhhhaahhaaaaaa!