Would you move for love?

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  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Do it, I moved to China at 20 for the sake of love and even though it didn't work out, I never regretted it.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    I say write down your PROS and CONS and figure out which ones are most important to you and make sure you have a backup plan when things don't go accordingly.

    Gonna second this. If you're doing it for more than the relationship then make sure you have a plan for work, extra money saved up for rent if you don't find a place right away, and a plan if the situation doesn't work out for whatever reason. Picking up and moving even if it's just you is hard enough, you're adding in a guy waiting for you and you need to make sure that not only is this the right thing for you as far as a future career-wise but relationship-wise. It wouldn't be so easy to switch jobs or move out to another place should things go south since it's not familiar territory. Right now you wanna set your heart on a shelf and turn to logic and planning more to cover your *kitten* and probably his too.

    That being said, I don't find anything wrong with making the decision with the guy mostly in mind but then again I'm not only in a long distance relationship myself, I was active in a community that was basically support and advice for them and this was always an important question. It's the ultimate leap in faith to uproot yourself and root elsewhere because the person you want to be with is there. In the end it's your decision and if you're comfortable enough with it, then try. Give it 6 months and if your relationship is still good and you've gotten a job you like and the city's not a cesspool then just take it from there. It's all you can do, really.
  • lolo406
    lolo406 Posts: 71
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    I did it...if I could do it over again...I would do it again! Just move for yourself and dont put too much pressure on the relationship, if it fails you are still a strong independent woman who can conquer the world. If it works out, you are still a strong independent woman who will conquer the world at the side of your man. Either way, go get em girl!
  • itgeekwoman
    itgeekwoman Posts: 804 Member
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    I did, 13 years later am still happy!! Just do it.
  • HeealthyMee
    HeealthyMee Posts: 62 Member
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    I see it this way -

    1. You have nothing to lose right now since you are just out of school.
    2. You were planning to start new somewhere anyway, why not there.
    3. To piggyback on the above, atleast you will know him. Somewhere else, you will not know anyone.
    4. Only you know deep down if it's right or not. The fact that you're asking a bunch of strangers to weigh in concerns me a little because my opinion is that if you felt it was right to move to NC, there would be no question and our opinions wouldn't matter.
    5. I agree with the other posts to mot move in with him right away. Eventhough you have known him for a while, the relationship still sounds newish to me. Moving in when you don't have a lot of exposure to him could become a headache.

    My boyfriend moved to NY from CA to be with me 2 years ago and I've never been happier. Similar to your story, I've known him since I was 17 ( I'm 33 now).. We dated long distance for nearly 3 years before he made the move.

    I would say to ask yourself whether you're moving there for him or for yourself. I think if you are honest with yourself now, you'll save yourself from a lot of trouble later. Don't feel rushed to move there. If it is meant to be, it will happen regardless of when either of you move or where you live.

    Just my two cents.... :)
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    Planning to as soon as I find work in the new country :)
  • HURLEYX3RO
    HURLEYX3RO Posts: 269
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    Do it! My husband moved from Pittsburgh, PA to Houston, TX 8 years ago and never looked back. :)

    He has a great job with benifits, I too have a good job and Im currently finishing up my degree, we have a nice place to live, and we are married now .

    Best choice he ever made :)
  • HeealthyMee
    HeealthyMee Posts: 62 Member
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    I did it...if I could do it over again...I would do it again! Just move for yourself and dont put too much pressure on the relationship, if it fails you are still a strong independent woman who can conquer the world. If it works out, you are still a strong independent woman who will conquer the world at the side of your man. Either way, go get em girl!


    Exactly this! Well said.
  • terraskye
    terraskye Posts: 370 Member
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    I moved from Portland Oregon to Ontario Canada for love and now in August we'll have been together for 11 years:)


    We met online :)
  • fisherlassie
    fisherlassie Posts: 542 Member
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    Do it! Don't be afraid of decisions. You can always make another one if you need to. Long distance relationships suck big time.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    Do it! Like some others have said, life's too short not to. Go!
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    You are young... now is the time to explore. when you have seen what you like and don't like, then settle...
  • Jensaystoyou
    Jensaystoyou Posts: 37
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    I had a friend move down to NC last year and she LOOOVEES it there, so much! I suggest that you spend a little more time in the area, get a feel for it, check out the classifieds and see what is available. If you like it, then go for it. The worst that can happen is that you have a change of heart and move home later. It didn't take long for me and my boyfriend to know that we wanted to be married to one another. Sometimes, you just know. Follow your heart. You can deal with other decisions that need to be made later. :)
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Coming from the non romantic side, I wanted to say that Charlotte is a great city and has a lot of employment opportunities. It's not the capital of NC, but it's the largest city. I say go for it. I moved down here (to Raleigh) almost 30 years ago from Ohio and I love this state! Well, most of the time, but I won't go into Amendment 1 here.
  • summergirl_nj
    summergirl_nj Posts: 11 Member
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    I did this before. I quit my job and moved to Ohio from New Jersey for a guy I thought was the love of my life. We were talking about marriage and children too. Enter his best friend. - who was jealous of our relationship and found a way to destroy it.

    I left Ohio after 3 months. I found it hard to be away from my family. I couldn't stay on a what if... so I went back to NJ.

    North Carolina is a great place to live, nice homes lower cost than PA and some great job opportunities. Try the long distance thing for 4 months or so and see what happens. If it is isn't meant to be, you will be glad you didn't run out on a whim - But if it is you will both find a way to make it work until you are sure...

    Hope whatever you decide , it works for you. Best of luck!! Friend me if you like.
    If you want to know what happens in the end.of my story.. inbox me and I will tell you. It's pretty amusing..
    Dawn
  • ladyluch99
    ladyluch99 Posts: 264 Member
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    I guess I'll add my 2 cents worth. I'm a bit older but I moved from California to Delaware to be with the man I fell in love with online. While there was a lot of culture shock, I would do it all over again to be with him. It will be 6 years this June since I made the move and I'm happily married to the man of my dreams (literally).

    You've received some good advice on this thread. My only addition would be to pray about it if you believe in prayer. All the best to you in whatever you decide.
  • barney50501Missy
    barney50501Missy Posts: 79
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    Do it! You are young and aren't stuck to one place like us old people :). My husband moved from Ohio to Nevada to be with me after meeting me online and only meeting in person twice (few days each). We met 11 years ago and he moved out here 10 1/2 yrs ago. We have a wonder little man, he's 9, and we are very happy. Take a chance. Don't regret, like most people, the things that scare them that they never do. Life is way to short to not grab happiness wherever you can.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    I say go for it!

    "Follow your heart but take your brain with you."- one of my favorite quotes

    Never heard that one before.. tis awesome!

    Why not go there! Your that young @ 23 even it went sour after 2 years you'd still be only 25, would have lived out of your comfort zone, taken a risk and probably learnt heaps about yourself.

    Heres a quote I like.

    Better to die regretting something you did, than dying regretting something you didnt!
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
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    I'd move for a bag of chips and an 8ox coke in a glass bottle. Anything more is just a sweet bonus.
  • ChasingSweatandTears
    ChasingSweatandTears Posts: 504 Member
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    I moved for love. I moved away from all of my family and friends, from a place Ioved, for my ex fiance. It was a huge risk, but I was ready for a change and I knew I'd regret it if I didn't at least try. Things were wonderful, awesome for awhile.... then it all fell apart. Once the reality of the fact that I was here settled in, he didn't want anything to do with me. He was a jerk and it was all about chasing what he couldn't have, while I was passionately, irrevocably in love with him.
    I bought a house (all me), found a great job and we co-existed for 3 and a half years. I was miserable, I was depressed, I felt trapped. I got fat. I then found out that not only was he not really in love with me, he was running from 10,000.00 in unpaid bills. Sigh.
    I kicked his *kitten* out not knowing what the heck I was going to do next, I had so many bills.

    Then I was just here. Alone.
    Spent a solid couple of years totally single, dated a few guys who weren't worth a crap and decided I was better off single lol.

    The next few years were so freaking hard. So many tears, so much hopelessness, so much insomnia, so much freaking loneliness. Not to mention all of those dreams and hopes that I had down the drain.

    But then something happened. I met this guy who became one of my best friends. He was a cutie and women freaking threw themselves at him but he didn't want anything to do with them, which really shocked me. He was a few years younger than me and quite a catch with a fantastic smile, a great job, a Harley, a sense of humor, compassion and a protective side. I thought there was something really wrong with him because he was single lol. Of course he lived in Florida and I wasn't going to date long distance, so even though I had a huge crush on him, we were just friends. Then one day he moved here to "be closer to his family"... he now admits he moved here for love :)
    After a couple of years of developing friendship (and me NOT sleeping with him mind you) we finally started dating. I really put him through the ringer haha poor guy :) A year of dating, he proposed. I said yes and we will be married 3 years July 1st. He is the best man I have ever known, a saint lol, my best friend, and makes me smile instead of cry every single day.

    So I've had two completely different experiences with moving for love. And despite the hell I went through in the beginning few years, I would completely do it all over again because if I hadn't I never would have met my Husband.
    I totally think you should follow your heart, but make sure that you are prepared to make it on your own if something goes terribly wrong. But if you feel strongly about it, definitely consider it. I would however wait a little while to make sure the attraction is not influenced by "wanting what he cannot have". THAT was so painful to figure out.

    Good luck whatever you decide <3:)

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