Why do men not see clutter?

245

Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    I wake up this morning to my living room having basically been treated as if it is my fiance's closet! a pair of shorts in the middle of the floor, two pairs of shoes my the couch, a belt on the floor and a hats, etc. Drive me nuts. Why can't guys pick up after themselves! It doesn't take that much energy to put things away!

    I hate picking up after a grown man.
    Hate to tell you, but most men subconsciously marry an SO who resembles their mom's habit (vice versa with females). His mom probably picked up after him and now you're doing the same and he knows it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
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  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
    I don't see it because my wife magically makes it disappear. I asked her how she did it once, and I got told to eff off. I just assumed it was because she didn't want give away her magic trick. Silly magicians!
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
    Other way around. I HATE clutter. It feels suffocating.
    Every woman I've personally met is cluttered. They hold on to everything, have boxes and boxes of crap that never comes out, stick things on every inch of the wall, and then leave their garbage all over the place. Can you say torture?

    When I live alone, my place is organized, clean, and clutter free.
  • foxy2311
    foxy2311 Posts: 179
    I don't see it because my wife magically makes it disappear. I asked her how she did it once, and I got told to eff off. I just assumed it was because she didn't want give away her magic trick. Silly magicians!

    lol...thanks for the chuckle.
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
    We don't see it because people pick up after us. Stop picking up after us, and we will start to notice it.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    Very very very short attention span. All males seem to drop those clothes and seconds later they are blind to it and have their attention on something else. Keep a garbage bag in the room....and every time he drops his stuff put it in the bag.....eventually he will wonder where his stuff went......and you can point at the bag, lol.
    Subjective. I'm a male and it doesn't happen in our home since I do all the cleaning on a regular daily basis.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
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  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    It's not confined to guys. Women are equally as likely to create clutter. Maybe ask him to put stuff away if it bothers you/

    JM
    THIS. My ex girl friend was a slob. Hence the reason why she became an ex girl friend. Being a slob is a deal breaker for me.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
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  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
    We don't see it because people pick up after us. Stop picking up after us, and we will start to notice it.

    Never had roommates in college didcha
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    I guess I won the man lottery, however the grass is always greener sometimes, he is almost too neat and organized to the point where he sometimes acts like my mother. But I guess I won't complain ;) He isn't OCD or anything just likes things clean, he does dishes, washes clothes, dusts, vacuums you name it.
  • Ripcode
    Ripcode Posts: 142 Member
    I hate clutter. If anything it's the wife who I am always after to pick up and organize.
  • adavis59
    adavis59 Posts: 285 Member
    Due to faulty wiring in the brain , God had to make woman with a perfectly wired brain to point the clutter out! Don't get me wrong, I love men dearly, it just seems to be a genetic thing in most, not all. :laugh:
  • jaxbeck
    jaxbeck Posts: 537 Member
    I have asked my husband this, he can walk through the house and not notice one thing, I will walk thru and notice at least 10. He says he really just doesn't think about it. I'm thinking because his mom didn't really keep a clean house so clutter is normal to him :grumble:

    This could be true of my guy. He grew up in a house with 3 siblings and many foster children coming through over the years. Although his mom was a most fabulous mom and a stay at home parent, I'm sure it must've been difficult to keep a clutter free home. I know his sister's house is the same way

    It is hard...we have four and I'm constantly trying to keep it organized...feels like a never ending battle *sigh*
  • tamsinwhitfield
    tamsinwhitfield Posts: 135 Member
    Definitely goes both ways - I'm responsible for about 95% of the junk in our house (with the exception of my office, which seems to remain magically immaculate somehow). Although he doesn't make as much mess, my fiancé is equally as uninterested in actually tidying up.

    And this is why we have a cleaner!
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.

    I don't do all the cleaning, but it's certainly a shared effort in out house.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    My husband and I had this problem after we moved in together, and I almost left him over it a couple of times. He used to leave his dirty dishes all over the house and dump his dirty clothes on the floor NEXT TO the laundry basket. He "played stupid" when it came to operating the washing machine and dishwasher, but he's doing a lot better with it now. He helps me clean up more if I just ask nicely. I try not to nag too much. Just be patient and be reasonable. Explain why it's rude to make you clean up his stuff and ask nicely.
  • oilphins
    oilphins Posts: 240 Member
    We men are not all like that. I personally can not stand a messy house. It even irritates me to have two dishes in the sink. My ex girlfriend was a complete pig and I always was picking up after her. Clothes everywhere, never doing dishes and so forth. Do what I use to do, I would pick up her clothes and throw them outside on the patio. That sure stopped pretty quick. I just can't stand messy people.
  • TexanThom
    TexanThom Posts: 778
    Blanket statement......Ruins your point!
  • foxy2311
    foxy2311 Posts: 179
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.

    He does all the lawn work, and he takes out the trash. We typically split the cooking/dishes. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know where the vacuum and dusting stuff is at lol. He's not vacuumed once in the two 1/2 years that we've lived together. But he is the who cleans the bathroom. I guess we split up the work fairly evenly...I just wish he'd pick up after his own stuff more often.

    This thread is helpful to put some things in perspective. Thanks all :)
  • Firefighter_Jay
    Firefighter_Jay Posts: 426 Member
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.

    Vile witch hath cast a spell on her beloved!!! Get the pitch forks!!!! Set up the pyre before she can infect the rest of us!
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
    Your fiancé is a man. There are different ones.

    HA! Well said, you! :flowerforyou: :laugh:
  • frootcat
    frootcat Posts: 194 Member
    guys see the clutter but do not think it is a big deal. Cleaning is done when you reach a critical mass OR people are coming over. Never at any other time.
    I agree with this, though I am a woman. "Critical mass" just has a different definition to different people. I ... am very forgiving, haha :)
  • Snow__White
    Snow__White Posts: 1,650 Member
    meh, it dont bother me
    I love cleaning and picking up after my boys
    and it burns cals!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.
    I do this along with the cooking, bills, child nuturing, maintenance of the home (repair, painting, etc.) grocery shopping, and other errands. And I wouldn't change a thing.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
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    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • jaxbeck
    jaxbeck Posts: 537 Member
    Am I the only one who has a fiance that does all the cleaning in the house?? lol

    I cook, he cleans. The only thing he doesn't do is the bath tub... He does it all - dishes, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, garbage, etc etc.... he also does the lawn work.

    I'm a firm believer in it's how men are raised...sounds like your honey had an awesome mom who taught him to take care of things!
  • foxy2311
    foxy2311 Posts: 179
    meh, it dont bother me
    I love cleaning and picking up after my boys
    and it burns cals!

    So true :)
  • modepurple
    modepurple Posts: 1
    We're not all like that !
  • raiderrodney
    raiderrodney Posts: 617 Member
    Lol, we all aren't like that...I hate clutter myself :P
  • mlbrowninsc
    mlbrowninsc Posts: 22
    OP, what you describe in your post is how I feel about my wife sometimes, lol. I can't stand clutter, she could care less. Over our 19 years together though, I have learned that it's never going to change, so instead of fighting about it I just pick up stuff around the house daily and throw it all in a pile on her side of the closet. She complains about that every now and then, but I ignore it.
  • ber3023
    ber3023 Posts: 146 Member
    I notice you say fiance and my advice is that this trait will NEVER change! If you can't get used to it before the wedding, it will be a constant argument during a marriage. I didn't realize how bad my husband was before we got married, because we didn't live together first. He's definitely not a cleaner or an organizer and borderlines on being a hoarder and if not for me always moving his crap and picking up after him I'm pretty sure he would be one! I usually feel that I pick up and clean after him more than I do our 9 and 5yo sons!

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