"Old Fashioned" or "Traditional" gender roles

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Replies

  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member


    I *love* it when a guy asks me what I want and places the order for me. Totally swoon worthy. And I love having the doors held open for me, etc.

    yep :)

    I should add I'm not even 30 yet...so it's not like it's a generational thing either.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    I *love* it when a guy asks me what I want and places the order for me. Totally swoon worthy. And I love having the doors held open for me, etc.

    I think its not being old-fashioned, its all about a guy being gentleman. Oh but wait I think those rare breeds are starting to become extinct in this modern world that we live in right now.

    Well...when you have women who freak out about men being gentlemen, why should they?
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    But I want my man to cry less than I do, to weigh more than I do, and to know when to take charge in the sack. :devil:

    Me too except that my boyfriend also cries when I cry.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I don't believe in "traditional" gender roles. I joined the Marine Corps to prove I was tougher than most the guys I know. It doesn't mean I want a weak guy to take on the "woman's role" I want a guy who is my equal in some ways. I want a balanced relationship where we each have things we are good at that complement the other's weaknesses. Right now I carry on both roles because I'm a single parent. I go to work during the day and take care of the kids in the evening.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Feminism took a wrong turn when women tried to be the SAME as men. Equal doesn't mean identical. Women and men have naturally different roles obviously, and while there are some exceptions, men like women who are feminine and women like men who are manly. How they define those characteristics differs, but there are some constants. I don't know many women who like a guy that cries every time he sees a baby. And I don't know many men who like women that have farting contests.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
    In terms of jobs, chores, etc...doesn't matter.

    But I want my man to cry less than I do, to weigh more than I do, and to know when to take charge in the sack. :devil:

    yeah!!!!
    I still want to be protected and cherished though.
  • emgawne
    emgawne Posts: 265 Member
    i grew up with a mix of roles. my parents had a pretty good partnership and i would love to have that kind of relationship.
    my mom stayed home with us kids, did the laundry, cleaned up around the house, etc, but she was in charge of all the finances.
    my dad worked full time (was in the army), but took us kids to most of our events (sports, gymnastics...) and he also did all the cooking.

    they found out what worked for them and i think thats what every relationship needs.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    I *love* it when a guy asks me what I want and places the order for me. Totally swoon worthy. And I love having the doors held open for me, etc.

    I think its not being old-fashioned, its all about a guy being gentleman. Oh but wait I think those rare breeds are starting to become extinct in this modern world that we live in right now.

    Well...when you have women who freak out about men being gentlemen, why should they?

    I have always held the door for not only my wife or date, but for other patrons coming in right behind me.

    Having said that, I have noticed on countless occasions that most women don't acknowledge the gesture with a simple "Thank You". Combine that with a younger generation having been raised with no moral standards, it's only natural that "gentlemanly" gestures would diminish.... just as much as most younger women have no idea how to conduct themselves like ladies.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I *love* it when a guy asks me what I want and places the order for me. Totally swoon worthy. And I love having the doors held open for me, etc.

    I think its not being old-fashioned, its all about a guy being gentleman. Oh but wait I think those rare breeds are starting to become extinct in this modern world that we live in right now.

    Well...when you have women who freak out about men being gentlemen, why should they?

    Thats true, but also it doesn't always have to be that way. One time I was in a hurry that I rode a jampacked train where I had no choice but to stand, then the train stopped to a station & there I saw one woman near me getting off her seat as she was going to exit. Then just as I was about to seat as my feet was aching, a big guy (as in he was very huge) suddenly went from my behind & raced to the seat. So I ended up standing while this guy was seated giving me a nasty grin :mad:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    But I want my man to cry less than I do, to weigh more than I do, and to know when to take charge in the sack. :devil:

    Me too except that my boyfriend also cries when I cry.

    My ex cried more than I did. TOO FREAKING MUCH. It's definitely okay to cry at certain times...getting married, having a baby, losing a loved one/pet, going away from the person you care about for a long time/forever. But because I won't help you with a quiz? Because you're just so overwhelmed by how awesome I am? Because the doctor told your mom she had to start getting in shape? Seriously?
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
    Well I class myself as old fashioned and for my marriage it means that Im a stay at home mum and I cook all the meals, clean the house, I get up to make my hubbies breakfast and lunch for work....Even on the days he has to get up at 4 am and I always make an effort to look good everyday and we have sex all the time.....like at least once a day. But I also do things that dont conform to the 'old fashioned' veiw like I love to play footy and I do most of the mechanical work cause I loooove cars.

    So - perhaps if you get tired of this one... you can marry me? I would LOVE someone to do all that for me - wow.
  • Bikini_Bound150
    Bikini_Bound150 Posts: 461 Member
    Traditional I guess. We both work but I pay all of the house expenses. We both clean. I would rather be a stay at home mom if I were able to.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    Feminism took a wrong turn when women tried to be the SAME as men. Equal doesn't mean identical. Women and men have naturally different roles obviously, and while there are some exceptions, men like women who are feminine and women like men who are manly. How they define those characteristics differs, but there are some constants. I don't know many women who like a guy that cries every time he sees a baby. And I don't know many men who like women that have farting contests.

    Well said!
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    When I think traditional gender roles, it doesn't really have anything to do with who brings home the most money or does the laundry, etc. That's personal between each couple. To me, it's about having a man who knows how to be a leader and protects and cherishes me, I support and uplift him, and we provide each other with whatever the other needs to make our lives a little easier.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    I *love* it when a guy asks me what I want and places the order for me. Totally swoon worthy. And I love having the doors held open for me, etc.

    I think its not being old-fashioned, its all about a guy being gentleman. Oh but wait I think those rare breeds are starting to become extinct in this modern world that we live in right now.

    Well...when you have women who freak out about men being gentlemen, why should they?

    Thats true, but also it doesn't always have to be that way. One time I was in a hury that I rode a jampacked train where I had no choice but to stand, then the train stopped to a station & there I saw one woman near me getting off her seat as she was going to exit. Then just as I was about to seat as my feet was aching, a big guy (as in he was very huge) suddenly went from my behind & raced to the seat. So I ended up standing while this guy was seated giving me a nasty grin :mad:

    Well some guys are just *kitten* :laugh:
  • Changing__Christina
    Changing__Christina Posts: 245 Member
    Traditional or Old Fashioned Role:

    Man on top

    Woman faking it
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
    In terms of jobs, chores, etc...doesn't matter.

    But I want my man to cry less than I do, to weigh more than I do, and to know when to take charge in the sack. :devil:

    Ab-so-friggin-lutley - I want my man testosterone-filled and dominating in the bedroom too - MOST of the time :devil: he he he
  • mummawylie
    mummawylie Posts: 61
    Well I class myself as old fashioned and for my marriage it means that Im a stay at home mum and I cook all the meals, clean the house, I get up to make my hubbies breakfast and lunch for work....Even on the days he has to get up at 4 am and I always make an effort to look good everyday and we have sex all the time.....like at least once a day. But I also do things that dont conform to the 'old fashioned' veiw like I love to play footy and I do most of the mechanical work cause I loooove cars.

    So - perhaps if you get tired of this one... you can marry me? I would LOVE someone to do all that for me - wow.

    Lol, sure why not :wink:
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    My ex cried more than I did. TOO FREAKING MUCH. It's definitely okay to cry at certain times...getting married, having a baby, losing a loved one/pet, going away from the person you care about for a long time/forever. But because I won't help you with a quiz? Because you're just so overwhelmed by how awesome I am? Because the doctor told your mom she had to start getting in shape? Seriously?

    Well I hate that also not only to a man but also to a woman. But of course to a man it looks worse.
  • marywilsoncline
    marywilsoncline Posts: 301 Member
    Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.

    I so totally agree w/ you. It takes an effort on both sides and each other should prefer one another and honor one another.:flowerforyou:
  • Bikini_Bound150
    Bikini_Bound150 Posts: 461 Member
    I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA

    LOL To each their own, I suppose. Personally, I just love it. It weirded me out the first time my husband did it but I've gotten so that it makes me feel extra special.
  • mseraf713
    mseraf713 Posts: 29 Member
    I don't trust a guy who has less body hair than I do
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,134 Member
    No matter how bad my parents fought, my dad still opened the car door for her.. I think that's cute.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    No matter how bad my parents fought, my dad still opened the car door for her.. I think that's cute.

    :heart:
  • yuliyax
    yuliyax Posts: 288
    men should
    * pay the bill when dining out
    * the man should give the orders to the waitress ( i tell hubby want i want, he tells the wait staff)
    * open doors
    * wait for the woman to sit down at the table
    ^ take out the trash

    women should
    * make sure the home is clean ( now of course, if she works and he doesn't, then that is different but i;m talking about traditional house wife)
    * cook the meals
    * tend the children
    ---
    now i am a modern woman with old fashion traits
    my man pays all the bills (im not working now anyway)
    he places my orders for me
    when we are out .. he does the heavy lifting
    i cook and clean
    but when he isn't home, i also cut the grass, make minor repairs in the house
    i can change a tire, check oil , pump the gas( stuff women needs to know if they drive :laugh: )

    ** i do believe your man should be pleased .. i make sure when he gets in, his chair is ready, his slippers are by his chair and i get his food/drinks when he wants something ** .. i also make sure his clothes are laid out for the next day .. this is just how we live..
    Probably too personal by, does your husband expect these things from you?
  • EuroReady
    EuroReady Posts: 199 Member
    I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA

    I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But i love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing plaid
  • Emv79
    Emv79 Posts: 245 Member
    I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA

    Same here. Not judging those that appreciate it, but it's not for me. I do appreciate when a man opens the door and lets me go in first, though :)

    Oh, and slightly maybe off topic, but if I'm having lunch or dinner with a man and I'm the one to ask for the bill, please either hand it to me or leave it on the table in "neutral" zone if you're not sure. As no, if I'm eating in the company of a man, we might not be on a date but a business meeting and if he's a client of ours, or a potential client, it's awkward for both of us (out of curtesy, he won't want to hand it to me to say "you should pay" and I have to tell him "no, no, I'll take it".)
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.

    This is dead on.

    Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.