"Old Fashioned" or "Traditional" gender roles

I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA

I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing

It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.

I would like to reference the song "Silence on the Line" by Chris Ledoux, specifically the lyric
"Babe I only need a man for the things a man is good for".

In the song I have no pity for the cowboy, because he put himself and his wants first. I love that my husband puts me first, in every thing and always. He does do man stuff, and I do woman stuff. Sometimes, my woman stuff is to swoon over the raw physical strength he has that I don't, or the emotional strength not to cry when things are bad because I need that stoicism.

I can mow the lawn. What I like better is to let him mow the lawn and shower him with affection and love for a job well done. He makes me happy because I am required to be happy for him to be happy, and he makes me need him to be happy. I only need a man for the things a man is good for, and my hubby is really good for a lot of things (also, giggity!).

Your partner should be your best friend and you both should try your best to accommodate the other.

I would be sooo upset if my boyfriend ordered for me! LOL I even say my own order in the drive-thru when I'm in the passenger side! HAHA

I know! I would hate it. To me, being a gentleman means treating you with respect, not like you can't speak for yourself. I see this as condescending. BUT that is just my personal opinion. I also think whoever gets to the door first should open it. But a love, love, love a manly guy who can fix things while wearing

It's not that he's treating you like you *can't* speak for yourself it's more...I don't know how to explain it, actually. I just know that I love it. :laugh: There's nothing disrespectful about it, to me.

I totally and completely respect your opinion. I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't see how it can perceived as anything BUT him treating you (you in the generalized, plural sense) like a child with no power or voice. Again, I respect your opinion. I just can't see the appeal. Maybe one day it will happen and I'll get it likes lightbulb going off. Haha

Yup, to each their own. Other than a short stint in high school, I've never been anything close to a feminist. I enjoy being the more submissive partner (take that how you will lol :blushing: ) so I love a man who knows how to take charge. If someone had told me I'd like it, I'd have been like "Dafuq??" but the first time it happened it was weird....but sweet and romantic, too.

Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.

This is dead on.

Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.

My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times

I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".

Herein lies the problem wth LABELS... They are just that and are basically useless beyond that. It is the personal definition of that label that really matters. I am a pretty traditional person... and I believe that significant females (mother, wife) should be preferred, honored, and cherished... But if they happen to make more than me and I have to do more domestic chores around the house from time to time, so be it. It is all about cooperation and preferring one another.

This is dead on.

Relationships should be partnerships based on mutual respect more than just fitting into some prescribed gender role.

My views are that a couple:
- should complement each other (pick up each other's slack)
- be a functioning Team... us against the world
- help each other with weaknesses
- be respectful of each other... ESPECIALLY in public or around others
- support the other in tough times

I am 'traditional' in the sense that I am the one the fixes everything, deals with the dirty, difficult tasks, holds the door open, lets her always order first, and does all of the driving. But I'm more modern in the shared raising of our son, have always done my own laundry, and does the grocery shopping. I'm a little of "then", and a little of "now".

I feel exactly the same way.

My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools

I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.

I'm totally on board with the having separate hobbies and friendships!

I feel exactly the same way.

My husband does a few of the more traditionally "man" things like keep all the computers running and all our tech working. He also is the breadwinner (until I finish my degree), and he manages most of our investments and retirement funds. I do all the cooking and cleaning. On the flip side, I am much better at home-repair than he is and can handle myself better around power tools

I also think it's important to retain some independence. You shouldn't dissolve into a relationship where you no longer think for yourself or have things you enjoy doing on your own with your friends. It was critical that I retain my hobbies independent of my husband when we got married. I'm way too independent to do otherwise. He has his hobbies too. It's great.

I'm totally on board with the having separate hobbies and friendships!

Yup. Tuesday is my husband's "man" day where he has all his buddies over to hangout at the house, and I go into my office and chill out. Sometimes I make them all pizza or cupcakes, but generally, I leave them alone. I usually go out with my girlfriends on the weekends, and my husband doesn't call and harass me either. I love him for it.

Doesn't this mean I please you sexually and then make you a sammich and bring you a beer?

That's exactly what it means. Women should know their place.

I've never understood people who get all bent out of shape when their SO wants to do something, alone, with their friends.

Me neither. Sadly, I've seen it happen with a lot of my women friends with their possessive or jealous boyfriends/husbands etc. I've seen it with men too with women who harass them all the time. That was a dealbreaker for me. I can't deal with that level of drama.