Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

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Replies

  • 6heatherb6
    6heatherb6 Posts: 469 Member
    Good luck yo you!
    You are fabulous to not have an abortion - this little life loves you for that!
    I was 25, my daughter in law is 22 and my niece is also 22 when we had our first babies.
    Any chance of getting married though??
    All the very best,
    :heart: :heart:
  • vsyates
    vsyates Posts: 373 Member
    My daughter-in-law is 23 and she's an absolutely fantastic mother to my 3-month old granddaughter AND she's going back to school full-time in the fall. Maturity is the key here, not age.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Baby Girl, You are pregnant for 9 months for a reason...it's called maternal instincts. As long as your priorities are straight, you educate yourself about parenting skills, and you are always putting your child first before anyone and anything, being 23 isn't a curse. I had 2 children by 22 and both have Autism. I work a full time government job, became the first home owner in 4 generations, Im an Autism activist and my next goal is complete my degree. If I could tell you to do anything, it would be to complete school. Don't let anyone look down on you because half of them aren't doing so great themselves. You worry about you and your baby now.
  • chocolateandpb
    chocolateandpb Posts: 438 Member
    My very first friend to get pregnant became so in 7th grade. 23 is NOT too young. The fact that you left your job to pursue additional education clearly shows that you are smart, mature, and care about your future. You will be a great mom. Congratulations. :flowerforyou:
  • mandycasey
    mandycasey Posts: 274 Member
    Hi i had my daughter when i was 21 and my son at 25, it was the best decision ever - you will do a fab job and be a fantastic mum xx
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    I was 21 when I had my first baby.

    While it wasn't easy, I did, somehow, manage.

    Granted, if I could go back & change it, I definitely would've waited until later, but hey, things happen & you can't change them once a decision has been made.

    You just have to let the crap roll off your back & do what you gotta do to take care of yourself & your baby. Not to freak you out or anything, just don't ever expect or wait for it to be easy. It never will be! In the end, though, it just makes you a stronger person!

    Good luck!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • rlmcnay
    rlmcnay Posts: 62
    the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

    Trust me your mother instincts will kick in and go into overdrive. You will find anyway possible to make sure your child has everything he or she needs. It will be hard no doubt but you can do it. Now is the time to make sure all your priorities are in line because if not they will be in 9 months or less ;-). Keep your head up you can do it!
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
    It's a shame that you're experiencing negativity surrounding your pregnancy. Perhaps it's out of concern for you at having left your job and just starting back in education rather than your age? 23 isn't young to have a child, it's probably a very good age. Anyway, whether people think it's a good idea or not, it's none of their business and perhaps you should think of a phrase that you can dismiss these people with - something like, "Goodness me, did you mean to be so rude?"...

    Take no notice, it's your life and you have the absolute right to live it as you choose.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    I had my first child at 20, second at 22 and third at 26. By the time I was 44, all three were out of the house! I now have grandchilden and am young enough and fit enough to play with them! I wouldn't change anything.


    ^^^^This!!! Isn't it wonderful having them young! By the time they are out of the house we're still young enough to enjoy life to the fullest!!!!!
  • tmaksparkie
    tmaksparkie Posts: 279
    You are not to young to have kids, I was 18 with my first and 20with my second and was a stay at home mom, and now am a daycare provider for lots of wonderful kids. Althought my own two kids are now 15 & 12yrs old. It is not easy but I think when people are young and have kids they always believe that person is selfish and puts themselves before their child and I think at any age people can be that way. Just do your best for your child and not worry what others may think.
  • pfarley68
    pfarley68 Posts: 83 Member
    By the time I was your age I had two boys and was pregnant with my third. It would have been better for you to be married first but it doesn't mean you can't be a great mom. I applaud you for not being willing to kill your baby because of bad timing. Don't worry about the opinions of others, the only one we truly answer to is God. Hang in there!
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I had my kids at 30 and 34. WAY too old IMO.

    Congratulations! 23 is an awesome age to start your family.
  • MrsSmith2012
    MrsSmith2012 Posts: 12 Member
    I was 20 years old when I had my son. He will be 9 years old this year. Has it been easy? Nah. Has it been rewarding? Aboslutely! Motherhood is definitely a challenge at times. No matter how old you are, no matter what your financial situation is, no matter if it's your first child or your tenth child. But it is something I am beyond thankful for, and I wouldn't change a thing. I never wanted kids. I have always loved kids, but I was a very selfish person and I KNEW it. However, I got married at 19 years old, and 7 months later, we found out I was pregnant. 5 years later, we were divorced, so I have been a single mom for the last 4-1/2 years. We definitely have been through a lot, but I could not imagine my life without my son in it now. He is an amazing child who has changed my life completely, and for the better! I wish you the best :)
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,552 Member
    I don't think 23 is too young to have a baby. I had my first at 24 and my next at 27 and it worked out great. I was a single mom for years and since I was young I had the energy to accomplish great things as a mother.

    I am now 46 and looking back I am glad I am so young and my children are leaving the roost. I still have lots of time to travel and do what I want to do with my life.

    Don't be discouraged. You have a great attitude and that is what is important. Just love your children and cherish the time you have with them no matter what age you are.
  • seebeachrun
    seebeachrun Posts: 221 Member
    A friend of mine became a mother for the first time at 15. She worked her butt off and moved up the ladder doing telemarketing and now has an amazing lifestyle as well as two more beautiful children. She only just turned 30.

    There is nothing wrong with being a "young" mom. My mother had me at 23 and she did an amazing job. It's all in how you decide to be a mom to your child. There are great young moms and there are terrible ones just as there are great and terrible moms in their 40s.

    I think people are more concerned that being a parent does force you to grow up and 23 is considered to be so much younger today since many 23 year olds are still in college and college life is not very baby friendly. At 23 my mother had been working full time in a bank for 5 years; she had vacation time and benefits like medical insurance. But you can do it and you can be good at it.

    First thing is identify your support system (family and friends you know will help you out emotionally and financially because you will need it.) Anybody who you think is being unsupportive, let them know they are being unhelpful and that you need them more now than ever. Those that don't get it will hopefully come around when you have that cute baby! Those that don't...pfft, you don't need them.

    Remember one thing, if you are stressed and upset during your pregnancy it can affect your baby. Try to get as much support from the supportive people that you can and surround yourself with love and be happy, you're having a baby! Congrats!
  • kellystjohn88
    kellystjohn88 Posts: 52 Member
    I had my daughter when i was 19, you will be fine! My situation is a little different I was already married to my husband (he's a marine) and we already owned our house but i was going to school full time taking 21 credits and i wasn't going to let the pregnancy slow me down and now that she is her she brings so much laughter and joy to our family! Just make it work momma!!!!
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
    Congratulations!!!!! Don't worry about what other people think. I had my children quite young. I was 18 when my son was born, and 21 when my daughter was born. I still went to college, climbed the corporate ladder, had fun growing up with them, and loved my life very much!!! I am an empty nester now, at the age of 41.

    You will be great! <3
  • I had my daughter at 16, she is now 21 and in college. Being a full-time mother is difficult but with the right support, you will be able to do all the things you want, including going back to school. As an implementation consultant for a software development company, I would encourage you to stay on your path with school. Being a mother also means being able to support your children, giving them every opportunity possible. All the best and good luck.

    P.S. 1,2,3 magic and parent classes will also help. cheers!
  • Ritzbrit
    Ritzbrit Posts: 211 Member
    I don't think your too young at all. Maybe if you were 16? Different story. I also find it admirable that you are going back to school so you can give your child a great life. Good for you.
  • KimAggie04
    KimAggie04 Posts: 165 Member
    I got married at 21 and my first child at 23 and my 2nd at 25. It's true that many people are now having children in their 30's, but I do not think 23 is "too young" at all. For me, I wouldn't change my choices at all. Congratulations!
  • AmandaPandah
    AmandaPandah Posts: 222 Member
    My mum was 23 when she got me. Don't worry!

    Oh and congratulations!
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
    When I was 20, my boyfriend and I had our own place and life was good...the I got pregnant and times got tough with money so we both moved in with my mom to get ready for the baby and save some money. My family was supportive, but I'd always get crazy looks from strangers at the grocery store or where ever.We had our son and lived with my mom for a while, got our own place again and then we just couldn't do it, moved back in with her, finally got our crap together, I did college online, and now our son is 4 and a half and we're doing just fine. We have been in our own place for about 2 (or a little more) years now, coming up on May 21st is our 1 year wedding anniversary and we are wanting to try for another baby this August. You'll be just fine. Don't let people who disapprove of your situation get you down. You'll get dirty looks, people saying negative things...just don't let that get to you. You know your situation and that your boyfriend is going to stick around. Go to school if that's what you want to do! It's not easy but you just have to make it work. Those who talk negative to you just don't matter. Keep your head up and CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy!!!!
  • nataliefamily3
    nataliefamily3 Posts: 189 Member
    I had my son at 19, best choice of my life. Who wants to try to chase a 2 yr od at age 35? When you are young you.have more energy to play with your child. It will make you grow up too. Good luck hun,.add me if you want to. Sometimes pele are critical but just show them you can be young and a good parent.
  • lizsmith1976
    lizsmith1976 Posts: 497 Member
    I got pregnant at 23 right after going back to school, and I dropped out (again). My now 11 year old daughter is my absolute joy and the best thing that ever happened to me. I went back to school (again!!) when she was 2 and had started daycare, got a degree in accounting, got a fantastic job, and now have had a fantastic life for many years. It was hard, but so worth it. I was married at the time, and it was very tough on our relationship, but we got through that. We did end up divorced later, but we were married for 12 years and are now best friends and will be forever, as we will always be connected through our daughter.

    Plus, now I see women my age having their first kids or going through diapers and bottles and having to stay home with sick kids and not being able to go out go on vacation or have any fun, and I am SO GLAD that my life happened the way that it did. These women are exhausted :)

    Anyone bashing you is an idiot, and it's none of their business anyway. Live your own life and do what's best for you and your new family :) Congrats!!!
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    I had my daughter when I was 19 and my son when I was 20. It isn't ideal, but everybody lives their own life.

    I finished college after I had my kids (divorced with 2 babies when I was 21). My daughter is 18 now and my son is 17. They are very well adjusted, I'm happy that I'm young enough to enjoy some of the same music and movies that they do. I would say my kids are far more responsible than most other kids their age.

    I had very supportive parents, it would have been a lot tougher without them.
  • I am 23 and have two beautiful little girls....my youngest is 2 and oldest 4. It's not about your age...it's about your ability. It isn't a "mistake" it's a wonderful "surprise." My second child was well planned...sometimes it's a gift you didn't know you wanted :) Kuddos to you for stepping up to the plate and "F" the rest.
  • HanPatty
    HanPatty Posts: 21
    I was married at 21 and I got pregnant at 23 and then 24. We had people roll their eyes or tell us we were too young but we couldn't be happier. Life happens, and you will be surprised how much you have in you and as long as you try your hardest you will be a great mother and provide a happy life for the little one.
  • MoreThanMommie
    MoreThanMommie Posts: 597 Member
    Got pregnant with my son at 23. He'll be turning 8 the July. I wouldn't change that for the world. He's amazing. I often find myself watching him thinking, I can't believe I made that. It's mind blowing. :flowerforyou:
  • BriskisGrl
    BriskisGrl Posts: 461
    I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first.. I was 26 when I was pregnant with my second... Congrats and best of wishes.

    Continue with school since your boyfriend is being supportive.. I was laid off when I was 3 months pregnant with my first. To be honest now your considered a liability to companies due to the pregnancy. Go to school while you have the chance now. I waited.. I wish I would have gone then. Instead I'm due to start school in August. Much harder now than it would have been then..

    Good Luck and enjoy your blessing.
  • SmallTownSweetie03
    SmallTownSweetie03 Posts: 63 Member
    I was pregnant and had my first daughter at 17, her father is amazing and always there for her, we haven't ever been together in her life though. Then I got married at 20, pregnant with my second daughter 3 months later and then pregnant with my third daughter at 23. They are 9, 6, and 3 and I just turned 27. I'm not with either one of their dads anymore, but they are both good dads in their own ways and they both do all they can for their daughters and my 3 girls and I are doing fantastic! They are bright, funny, smart, loving, wonderful little girls and even though I was a young mom, I wouldn't change it for anything! Good luck to you!
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