Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

aimstein

I didn't have my son until I was almost 32; however, I wish I'd started younger because I would love to have another one. It isn't in the cards for me...but you will have that option. At 23 you aren't too young to be a mother. There are plenty of wonderful mothers that started early. Don't stress yourself...stay the course and do what you have to do to be a wonderful parent and provide for your child. I started college at 32 when my son was 8mths. old. I have four classes left, and I'll be graduating with a bachelors in accounting this November. It CAN be done. The fact you're already so worried about getting a job and finishing school is a good indication that you will be a good mom. Good luck...you can do this!!

Lleldiranne

I was pregnant at 23. With my 2nd (I was married, both were planned, but I was still young). I actually went to school all during that pregnancy and graduated a year after he was born. Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely.

Look into your state's WIC program. It provides nutrition and education for low-income pregnant women and for new/breastfeeding moms and young children. It's not a lot, but it will give you some nutritious foods and support during your pregnancy and after.

strunkm4

Girl, you will be just fine While I didn't become a mom at 21, I became a step mom to an amazing 6 month year old. He is the absolute love of my life. He is now 3 1/2. I was still in school, we were BARELY making it, but we pushed through. Here we are almost 3 years later, and everything seems to have worked out perfectly.

Point being, you can't let others get you down or break you. You know you will be an awesome mom. Sometimes things happen and we can't control any of it. When you become a parent, you will see, although your parents might be mad at you now and not speaking to you, they are still your parents and love you unconditionally. When they see how mature and wonderful you are, they'll be there for you.

themommie

I got married at 20 had my 1st daughter at 21 then my second daughter at 23 and then we seperated when she was 3 mths old and ended up divorcing. I never planned on being a single mom it was really hard financially but I love being a mom it is a wonderful experience and you will learn to prioritize and give your baby what is important in life, the most important thing being love and attention. You will be a great mom. I have since gotten remarried and have several more children

SaketoKim

23 isn't that young. Your family will come around, mark my words on that. My parents were against me having a child even though I already had a house with my boyfriend. I had my son when I was 21, it was tough but we did it. 15 years later and it was still the best decision I have ever made in my life. He is a great student, athlete and a good person, I like to think we had a hand in that. Nothing else matters after becoming a mom. :happy:

trixirn

How old do they want you to be? Forty? (nothing wrong with being pregnant at forty either, 39 myself). You're old enough to vote, pay taxes, go to war. you're old enough to have a baby.

Sd0510

Good luck! I got pregnant at 17 so no bashing from me! Lmao.

Don't let anyone bother you about your choice to not have an abortion. That is a very personal decision and none of their business.

I still went to college after I had my son. It's hard but possible if you want to still go that route. Plus, as a single mom you can get more money in grants. I got the full amount of the pell grant every year.

This sounds very similar to me. It might sound weird, but my son was planned. Since my fiance and I have been engaged for years but never got married, I still got many grants too. I am still in college currently for Pharmacy. Our lives are great and I wouldn't change it for the world!

TrailRunner61

Honestly it's no one else's business but you and your bf's! Other people need to butt out. You'll do fine because you care and you know that it'll be work. All children should be so lucky.
We had our first when I was 21 with no problems and a 2nd child when I was 23, 3rd at 29. Yeah we did without at times but it was worth it! Plus it's not like you're 15 or 16 and in high school! You're an adult. Shame on your family and whoever else is not speaking with you because your're pregnant. Hopefully they will come around and you'll be able to forgive them. I'm sure they'll come around by the time the baby is born. Who can resist a baby?
Good luck and <hugs>, you'll do fine!

izoom3

I think that the reason that you are getting bashed by your family is because this is not what they would have chosen for you. You and your baby are what is important now. Do not let them get you down. 23 isn't all that young and you seem to have the maturity to make a sound decision.
Raising a child is hard no matter what your age. There is also nothing so rewarding as having that child. You have to be true to your heart and beliefs. You have to raise your child the way you think is right.
I will think of you often and send good thoughts you way. You are going to be a Mom that your child can look up to.

zombiefarmboy

I'm not a young mother... well, I'm not young at all, any more, but my wife and I were only 20 when we had our first child. It wasn't easy. Hell, it still isn't easy. We were 33 when we had our 2nd and 34 when we had our 3rd... I'm still getting used to it!

SwimTheButterfly

It is a blessing. The haters are WRONG. You can do it.

fbmandy55

23 is not too young... Screw all the haters and good luck hun! ♥

This! I had my son when I was 20, didn't finish college and his dad disappeared. I have been able to buy a car, rent a 3 bedroom house and have a great professional job all without government assistance and just plain hard work..

My son is so cool, smart, amazing and I love him so much it literally makes my heart swell! He is happy, my boyfriend loves him and we ARE a happy family.

I actually had to quit my church of 20 years because of the stone throwers. Let the haters hate, only you and your child matter!

Wonderwoman2677

I was 21 and not married when I had my first baby. You just need to make a plan and do the best you can. Maybe you can go to school and work until you can't anymore while you're pregnant, that way you can try to save and get the schooling done thay you're working on now.

Congratulations Mommy!!

bubbler100

Having a child is a blessing and you can always start your studies afterwards. Some families are so funny and strange but they will and have to get over it. Dont let them presurise you into having an abortion.

Heather20646

I was 20 when I was faced with infertility after an upcoming surgery. I was given a choice to try and get pregnant for a year after the surgery...after that my efforts would probably be in vain. I'd only been with my boyfriend for a year and knew I wasn't "ready", but I wanted children. So I got pregnant the month BEFORE my first surgery. I have birth to healthy twins at the age of 21 (they weighed in at 7 lb 3 oz and 7lb 11 oz!)...I had several surgeries afterwards and a full hysterectomy at 24. I married their father but we divorced when they were 3. He is not involved in their lives and doesn't pay any child support. I am 34 today, the twins are 12 and they are amazing, talented and intelligent young ladies.

So that being said....although it hasn't always been easy and people thought I was making a big mistake....I did what was right for me and my children. I can't imagine life without them and I thank God for giving them to me.

I know I haven't given you any answers...the only thing I can say is that life isn't perfect. It doesn't come with instructions or a time line...best of luck to you.

lporter229

Have all of those people that are so quick to tell you that you are too young to have a child considered that, biologically, you are in your prime child bearing years? I am one of those people that decided to wait until I was "ready" to get married and have a family. I try not to live my life with regret, but it may have been the biggest mistake of my life. Now I am 40 years old, happily married, financially secure, and unable to conceive. My husband and I have invested time, money and lots of emotion on fertility treatments with zero results. Now I am very quick to tell young people that if you know you want to have children, do not wait until it is too late. We live in a society that trains us to think that we can control every aspect of our lives, and this simply isn't true. There are reasons why young girls get pregnant so easily and older women like me find it difficult or impossible. You can't fight nature and the truth of the matter is, you are in the most physically optimal point in your life to deliver a healthy child. I am sure you are scared because this wasn't planned, but if you wait too long you will end up in a situation like me. Once you have your baby, everything will fall into place...keep the faith. Best of luck and congrats to you!

cookierinthia

I had my son when I was 17. I transferred from a school in NC to one in DC or tried too, but they wouldn't allow me in because I was a teen and pregnant. I was on assistance for a short time and I worked full time and went to night school until they lost a couple of my credits and told me I would just have to take the classes over. That was when I officially dropped out of school. A wonderful man that I met at the age of 18 and who decided he would be a father to my son helped me. At one time, I worked 3 jobs and lived in a rooming house, renting a room for me and my son. It was easy, but by the grace of God I did it because He made a way.

I went to a technical school and graduated with honors, but couldn't get a decent paying job, because I didn't have a high school diploma or a GED. At the age of 26, I went and took the GED exam, whichout having to take any GED preparation courses. I passed and scored above the national high school average in 3 out of 4 topics. I joined the Naval Reserves at the age of 28, started on my Associates Degree at the age of 30 and graduated Cum Laude 2 years later and started on my Bachelors, which a recall during this time to active duty. I completed my Bachelors in Business with a Minor in Finance 3 years later with a GPA of 3.32.

I went into the Naval Reserves as Enlisted and today I'm a DCO Supply Corps Officer. I work for the Navy a civilian as well and I have to give God all of the Glory because it was suggested that I have an abortion and I don't believe in abortion either, as I believe it is murder. I am now married to that wonderful man and we've been together for 22 years, married for 9, with 6 children and 6 grandchildren.

I say all of this to say that it will be hard, but not impossible. If a little ghetto girl from SE, DC, with God's grace and mercy can turn her life around and make something of herself, then you can too at the age of 23. I was 16 and pregnant. Remember, you're origins doesn't matter so much as the journey and what you do along the way.

God Bless and enjoy your pregnancy, it's a gift!

diddyh

I was 20 when I had my first and just turned 22 when I had my second. We were young but it didn't matter. We did what we had to do. A few years later when I was 29 my son was born. He was adopted. It all worked out wonderfully. It will be a struggle, but its so worth it.

Best of luck to you. Believe me, if your family wants contact with your new little angel, they will come around. If they don't, then it's their loss.

princessruthiebelle

23 really isnt that young these days! really no need to panick! a friends i went to school woth is 21 and has a boy of 2 and one whos a few months old they are so loved and happy! she is unemployed and dosent recieve any money form the government and the dad works in a super market they are lucky but so happy


my mum had me just before she was 20 again i was so happy and loved and now im older its nice having her! we shop together and go out for meals shes like a best friend too

enjoy your little bundle of joy! this isnt the 1950s you are an adult and it all could be a whole lot worse

enjoy the little miracle you are so fortunate
billions of women would love to be able to have this

let the haters hate they are a part of life im sure you have had many before and will have many for years to come! dont we all??!

millions of people are struggling with money all over the world! its just how the world is these days! you will know what to do! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mtkautz

I didn't read any of the replies on this post, but I was 17 when I got pregnant with my daughter... barely 18 when I had her. I am now almost 22, double majoring in nursing and sociology with a minor in psychology. I am fortunate to have family support so I can complete my education and get my career started, but it wasn't that way at first!!!

I had a similar experience to yours this past semester though! I found out I was pregnant with twins... my boyfriend was extremely supportive along with his family.... mine not at all! They didn't speak to me, when I miscarried they finally did speak to me because they were 'worried'... I'm glad they started again because I had to have surgery to stop the bleeding. ANYWAY.... You will be able to make it regardless of who approves or not. Having your family 'disapprove' of your pregnancy is not going to make you love your child any less.

Being a mom is the most rewarding thing that will ever happen to you! Just try to get as many ducks in a row as you can before the little one arrives.... AND STAY IN SCHOOL! Your education will be the best thing for you and your baby!!

StephanieDJL

I realise the situation isn't ideal & sure 23 is young but that doesn't mean you won't be an amazing mother. My mum had me when she was 22, without the support of my father & I had a great childhood. You obviously have the determination to succeed & make the best of not only your life but your child's life too. I have every faith that things will turn out great for you, screw what everyone else thinks. Your family are probably in shock but I'm sure they'll come round. Congratulations & good luck with your pregnancy

jdsmom0104

i got preg at 18 & 22 with my kids. its absolutely hard being a parent- period. parenthood isn't for the weak of heart. but it's rewarding. it's the best job you could ever. my husband & family were very supportive of me, although i didnt think twice @ abortion. i dont agree with it, but i understand ppl feel its the best decision for them. i also agree having kids younger in life- no 23 isn't too young, is ideal. my boss... was in her 40s & our kids were the same age... weird. this was prob 5 yrs ago... you're more active etc at that age. your family may be upset now, but i'm sure they'll come around... no one can abandon a cute new baby in the family... - or at least you hope not

Polly758

I don't think it's bashing, rude, or unreasonable for someone, when they've been asked for advice, to say, 'Well, your age isn't a problem, but being unemployed, uneducated, AND trying to finish college, you may want to to postpone having a baby. You can always make another one."

That's what I'd say, if someone asked me.

Meanwhile, look into state programs for young mothers, but I wouldn't count on that with government spending going in the direction its going. Ask your church for help, perhaps. Maybe start or join a babysitting co-op.

Really truly, best of luck.

SabrinaJL

...Weird. I'd think 23 is a reasonable age.

I agree.

I was 16 when I had my daughter. She is now 18. She's super awesome and I adore her. And I still adore her father too. Yep, I am 35 and still with the man I started dating at 15. My family makes me very happy, so what other people thought never mattered.

SandiferJ1011

Hi! I just want to start by saying, you are already doing the right thing by continuing your education! Being a first time mom can be a little nerve wracking if you're not prepared, but you will do fine. And 23 is NOT a bad age to have a child! I got pregnant when I was 17! Now THAT is young!!! And I am doing just fine! Dont worry! Your family will come around. It may just be shocking to them at first. My dad and I werent very close at all, but when my son was born, he was a totally diff person. Now, me, my husband, and our son visit my dad constantly. He actually complains when we have gone a wk without visiting lol and you know what, if they dont, it's THEIR loss! Don't worry about what others think. Things happen and there is ALWAYS a reason for it!

lupizzle00

I was 23 when I got pregnant with my first son. I got married and I had just quit my retail job because I was going nowhere fast with the company I worked for. I too had just went back to school. I was 6 months along when I started the program, took about 2 months off to have my baby and went back to finish the 6 month program. All I could think to myself was I'm doing this because I no longer was one individual, my husband and I were becoming a family. I got the same things about being too young, I should have waited, blah blah blah... :yawn: After graduation I landed this awesome job which I'm still at to this day, my son is now 6yrs old, along the way we gave him a little brother :bigsmile: who is now 4. I am now 30yrs young, my husband and I provide a roof over their head, food in their bellies, we coach their Tball teams, but most importantly we are raising them to work hard & never let anyone tell you that you "can't". You WILL make it through, its not easy & I'm sure you know there are many sleepless nights ahead but when you're blessed to be a mom nothing can hold you back. Good luck to you!!

eellis2000

So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days otherwise I would've saved money if I knew I'd get pregnant I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who HAS MADE IT if there was a struggle along with being pregnant at a "young" age. My mother & family aren't speaking to me as of this day and think I am so stupid and crazy for having a child. Please.. I need the support....


I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.

I was 17 when I had my first child. I would definately have waited a little longer if I had it to do over again. However my children are now 22, 21, & 18. No drug addicts, alcoholics, babies or arrests so I must have done something right. A few gray hairs though. 23 isn't too young for most but it depends on the person.

jcjsjones

CONGRATULATIONS!!

I got married 6 days after my 20th birthday, had my first child at 21, and my second at 24. My husband and I have been married for almost 13 years, and I am about to become the mother of a middle-schooler! Lord, help me! LOL! It hasn't always been easy, but it has been a blessing. Chin up! You'll do great! With the availbility of online classes you should be able to finish your degree, and make a great life for you and your child. I promise it won't be easy (I'm finishing up now), but it will be worth it in the end! Good luck, and I hope you have a healthy pregnancy!!

Crazy4Healthy

I was 16 with my first, 19 with my second and 30 with my last. I have one grandchild and another on the way. I'm currently 44.

I really think how you handle this comes down to the type of person you are. Some people allow others to tell them they can't do something while others will go out of their way to prove them wrong. You sound like the latter and you will do just fine. Just stay on the path you are on and don't let anyone tell you that you can't make this work. Being young certainly has it's advantages and I can speak from both sides since I did it young and older. Honestly, both have their positives and negatives, you just do what you can and try to be the best you can be. That is all you can do.

Having a child this young also has a tendency to motivate a person to excel and do better in their own lives so they can provide more for their children. In my opinion.

Best of luck to you..... you can do this.

EmCarroll1990

23 is definitely not too young. My mother had my older brother at 18, and me at 23. Sure, it's going to be tough and it's going to be a struggle. But at the end of the day, you're going to rise above it all and have a beautiful little family. Good luck honey, tell the rest to go F off, it's none of their business but yours and your man's.