Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

NicoleElen

When I found out I was pregnant, I was 20 and had dropped out of college because I was an alcoholic. I had just left my job and the baby's father worked at a pizza place. We had several thousand dollars in debt, only one car, and only one part time job between the two of us... We sold drugs to put food on the table even. We had nothing but each other, and we had a lot of hard times, but we worked hard to turn things around and it all paid off.

Now, I have a happy, very polite, smart, and beautiful little three year old. Her father and I are great friends even though we are getting a divorce now (whoda thunk our situation wouldn't have fostered a healthy marriage long term haha). Substance abuse is no longer an issue. Debt is gone. I have a full time job and a side business of my own, in addition to going back to school... Life is GOOD.

It doesn't matter how old you are, just that you step up and do what you need to do for your family.

Wow what a great story. And you are right, age does not matter more than responsibility. Good for you going to school to make your life better.

Jennyisbusy

Does your school have a job placement program at the end? If it does hang on for dear life so you will have a job when you need it most.
It's hard to be preggo in school but it's harder after they are born. You can do this, hopefully your Mom and others will come around and maybe even help out.

leslisa

Ditto to the above. I got my first child at 18 (she was 2 1/2 - long story). She's 26 now and freaking awesome and well adjusted too!! She's back at school to be an architect

steph124ny

I had 2 kids by the time I was 23. As long as you are committed to raising your child to the best of your ability and loving that child, that's all that matters. Just be aware that boyfriends don't always hang around, so be prepared to go it alone.

Moniquifee

I got pregnant with my daughter a year after I graduated from college. I was 22. Her father and I were together for about 8 years. I also had a son with him 3 years after my daughter was born. 10 years later, I am now a single parent but their father is still very involved in his children's lives. He doesn't support the kids much financially but thankfully I earn a decent salary that makes up for it. I know the circumstances are not exactly the same, it may be better or worse depending on how you look at it. The point is that when there is a will you will always find a way. Hold onto any support that you can find and think through all your choices and options to find the best solution for your predicament. Look for opportunities that cater to young mothers and make the most of them. There is plenty of help out there if you look hard. I'm sure your parents will come around eventually, especially when they see their beautiful grand child. I wish you all the best and hope you'll be strong.

talzybob

the fact that you are 23 should have no bearing on this what so ever. you are not in school and you are old enough by law to make your own choices in life. you are an adult and you have made one of the most adult decisions in life. the fact your boyfriend is willing to stand by you is wonderful. you have a wonderful hapy future to look forward to. your family will soon come round, in the mean time please just think of yourself otherwise you culd make yourself ill. you have a baby to think of and the child is your own family. if your fammily want to be a part of it they will soon be there for you. my sister has just gone through this at exactly the same age. my granparents thought her life was over, till she reminded them she is not in education, she has a job, her own house and her boyfriend.

just try to think of the good things life will brig you with your lil one and be strong good luck and congratulations.

Gilbrod

I had a sister who got pregnant at 14. She now runs her own gaphic arts company and has 4 other kids. If you have the will, and a supportive BF/spouse, nothing can hold you back. Good luck!

cdub78

I had my son at 20 and he is now 13 and i wouldn't trade it for the world. We struggled a little at first but i think that is normal for anyone that has their first child. You never know what to expect. I am very sorry to hear your family is not speaking to you because of this, that is very selfish behavior. They only want the best for you and I can GUARANTEE they will change their attitude when they see how wonderful of a mom you will be. Plus...you are young so your body will bounce right back. I wish you the best.

deadstarsunburn

My mom had me the month before her 21st birthday. In fact just about every women asside from my aunt and myself have had children before the age of 23.

My parents do very well for my sister and I but it was a struggle at first. We lived on $15,000 a year for a family of four while my dad was a full time college student and full time at work. My grandparents have essentially disowned us so if your family doesn't come to terms with it, than I say they really have their priorities mixed up.

You got pregnant by your BOYFRIEND not a one night stang.

Anyway it can be done and I think you will be able to raise your baby just fine.

VoodooLuLu

23 isnt too young to have a baby...

MystiqueASAP

Life is precious and 23 isn't too young to have a baby. I was turning 21 when my daughter was born. Everyone is different, but determination is what drove me to finish college, work, and pay for daycare while renting my own apartment from age 21. I had the support of my family, but I preferred to get out there and be independent for my daughter and myself. To this day, my daughter (now turning 21 in a couple of weeks) looks up to me and is very independent herself (working, college, and in her own place before marriage), even though she is now married with no children. In addition, we have a great mother/daughter relationship.

So, it can be done if you are determined enough and not let others knock you down. I wish you well. :flowerforyou:

hmgarcia83

oh when i got pregnant i was 26 and had been married for 5-6 years and still was given crap mostly by my family so no one is immune

ADM1979

I got married at 19 because I was pregnant. Although the marriage only lasted 10 years, I have to very independent, handsome, strong young men that I raised as a single mom. They are now 12 and 10.

I also go to school full time and work a full time job. Full time school is 12 hours a week or 4 classes and I work 40 hours. I am pursuing a degree in Business Management. I have been in school for about 2 years now. I won't lie, this is very hard. I work all day, take the boys to basketball or football or what ever activity they have. While they do their activities, I study. Not always, but I try. EVERY Saturday, we go to Young Marines. This means my ONLY day off is Sunday. And really, I don't have it off. Because I've got to get my house work done.

Please do not take me for complaining . . . I am just letting you know that IT CAN BE DONE!!!! I personally think you are making a smart move going to school now. While your baby is still small. Study when he sleeps. I have faith that this can be done, but it will be hard and you will make adjustments.

And don't worry what other say. Never say a child is a mistake, maybe the timing, but not what God has given you. Good luck!

ElleOQuent

Regardless of your preparation, motherhood will always be tough. Granted, being prepared with a solid education, a steady relationship, and a well-paying job would lighten to proverbial load, but those luxuries aren't always readily available when the test comes up with two pink lines. The thing is, though, that motherhood is unforeseeable -- we have no grasp of what tomorrow will bring.

I was 21 when I got pregnant; a senior in college with a boyfriend I had been with for only three months. I was working full time, studying full time, and also contemplating ending things with him several hours before I peed on a stick. Yes, the timing was horrible, but I had no other choice (because of my own moral compass) but to go with it.

I now am 26 years old with a beautiful four year old little girl. I also have two Bachelor's degrees and an awesome career. I decided to push through and take control of my life by being responsible for my actions. This means that circumstances in life don't define you; your reaction to said circumstances is where your true character shines through.

You will be a fantastic mother. There is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.

tyrantduck

First off, congrats on the pregnancy!


Second, I got pregnant and had my daughter when me and my husband were 20. We were both working and had our own place and we got married close to 5 months after she was born and after we had both turned 21. Not long after that, my husband lost his job and I had to support the three of us on my bi-weekly salary for almost a year until he was able to find a new job. It was very hard and there was a lot of tears and depression BUT both my husband and I are going to be 25 soon and our daughter will be 4 years old on May 25th. She is spoiled rotten and is intelligent way beyond her age. We've also had tremendous support from all of our family members and they all love her to death.

I'm so sorry to hear that your family isn't supportive. 23 is definitely not too young to have a baby and you had no way of knowing you were going to become pregnant after you left your job to go back to school. Our daughter was a surprise too and we did the best with what we had and it somehow turned out alright. I'm sure that as you get closer to your due date, your mom will at least come around and will start getting all giddy about having a grandchild, it seems like most of them do! Keep your head high and keep your boyfriend and any supportive friends you have close to you, at least you know they'll be there to turn to if things get hard.

glennstoudt

As a father of 4 sons about your age and a bit older I find it truly bizarre that your family at large have taken such a strong position with you. They need therapy, you don't. You will be fine. Not so sure about them.

Evoletlove24

Sweeite everything will be ok! At 18 I got pregnant even on birth control and using condoms. I refused to even think about abortion but soon found out my heart was getting weak from the baby but I stuck it out! My husband had a daughter already and my mom died leaving me with my little sister everyother weekend! (drama drama i know lol)

Its been almost 3 to 4 years and we are ok. Things are tight and I will be working as soon as my sons in school since day care costs so much around here. I'm getting some online classes under my belt for better job oppertunites as well. Sleep is something I never seemed to get and dishes seemed to never end as well as laundry. Spit up rags and diapers are the new fashion when your a mom but I swear to you its soooo worth it!

To me the first six to nine months are the hardest but cutest. Once they can crawl and slowly walk things get easier and when they hit two and begin to talk you can't seem to get enough of them. Colic is the only thing I hated about it really. They cry beause of the constipation and I dont blame them, just keep some head acke pills and coffee around.

Before my mom died she looked at all her kids and smiled and said , "Man what a ride...I would do it over in a heart beat." And that my friend came from a single mother who never could seem to ketch a break! Good luck hon, there will be bumps along the way some cuter than others (hehe) but enjoy the ride!

abberbabber

23 isn't really all that young at all. I have a good friend who got pregnant at 17 and her daughter is one of the most amazing people you could ever hope to meet. She struggled along the way, but she made it and has a wonderful life

JustLindaLou

EVERY child has a purpose and is lovingly hand-made by God. No matter what your age or the circumstances, being a Mom is the toughest and most rewarding job out there! I did not have a child until I was 42!! Happily married, we "had it all", and surprise!! Where am I today? Single mom struggling to make ends meet, but wouldn't change any of it and not have my beautiful Casey. It is not easy even under the most ideal circumstances, but oh those smiles, those tiny toes, that first "I love you Mommy!" May the Lord bless you and your baby, be healthy and just do the best you can. I pray your family will come around and be supportive, but I am certain there will be friends that will rally around you to love on you and your child. Is there a Pregnancy Care center in your area? They were such a huge help to me with free birth classes and donations of clothing, diapers, even a car seat and a pack 'n play!

shayjgordon

I'm 23 now and my daughter is 18 months. I wouldn't change anything. My boyfriend and I have made it work. It has been tough at times but when you look down at that little face you know that you will do absolutely everything you can to make that baby have the best life possible. I'm sorry people are making this hard for you, but you are doing is awesome and everything will work out

lamasdura87

Hello, I don't think you are too young. I am 24 and I already have 3 beautiful babies (4, 1 and 11 month old) which I adore with all my heart. Being a young mother does make it hard to reach your goals but it does not stop you from achieving them. I hope all works out awesome for you.

Bikerjewelz

Oh honey,
I got pregnant at 16. I was that point one percent. First time, protected. She's 16 now and it was a learning curve but there was always nice clothes on her back and food on the table.

I had my other 2 at 20 and 25,after my third I was diagnosed with lifelong cancer and am permanently disabled. Where there's live, there's a way. You will do great! Add me if you want to talk.

jwuchef87

I was 22 when i got pregnant to my ex-bf...It was really hard bc at 6 months I found out he had another girlfriend and didn't want to be a family. My bestfriend abandoned me, I was completely alone....I'll say that it was the worst months of my life feeling like I was worthless and going to be an awful influence but you know what? I had other people that supported me, I had a great job and I KNEW I was a wonderful person who would make a wonderful mom and when she came into the world april 2010, nothing else mattered. And you know what else? I got a 3 promotions since then, my ex and I are making it work, and my friend and her family jumped back on the bandwagon when they got over their opinion of how something should be. NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING matters more than being a solid figure for that little baby you're bringing here and nothing else matters. Your parents will come around eventually and if they dont, it's their loss. ONLY YOU can decide what's right for your life so LIVE IT. Don't let circumstances ruin what should be the most joyous time of your life

focus4fitness

I had two kids by the time I was 19 (first 18 second 19) with my ex husband. My life is beyond lovely and yours will be too, if you are willing to work for it. 23 IMO is not at all too young to have a baby. Plus you will have an education so regardless of your own relationship, you will be able to take care of yourself. Your family needs to get a grip imo.

sevesmith

I was not young when I had my children, I was married at 22 and stuggled with fertility. I was 28 when my first was born. A baby is a baby no matter what age you are. Just keep in mind that being a parent is not playing house. It is HARD work. This will be the most selfless job you will ever have, there are very little thank you's, very little appriciation. But when you hear that first "I love you, mommy" you realize it's always worth it.

graceleigh614

It is awesome!

thinclo

Im 21, have a 20 month old daughter and am studying to become a lawyer. I was in the second year of my law degree aged 19 when I fell pregnant and nearly everyone tried to get me to have an abortion. I knew thats not what I wanted so I ignored them, and as soon as my daughter came along evryone adored her and still do I went back to university and have just completed the first year of my law degree today. By the time I graduate itl have taken me about twice the time it should have but its been worth every single second. I wouldnt change anything for the world, I have a beautiful daughter, her dad and I are happily engaged, and in 2 years il be a qualified lawyer. Just follow your heart and you'll be fine

MrsPong

23 is not horrible for being pregnant. I got preggo when I was 19 turning 20... My boyfriend at the time (husband now) was being shipped off to Iraq and was gone the whole time I was pregnant. I finsihed my A.A degree that summer and married. I went back to school and finished (while husband was overseas once again) and I'm now working a great job, married for the past 3 years to an active duty marine with 2 degrees and a 3 year old and I'm 24, and it all started when I was 20.

Its all about WHAT YOU DECIDE to do. If you believe this will get in ur way then it will...if you believe you'll b a great mom and still become what you want then you will. It's not easy...but its worth it. Dont let ANYONE tell you its a mistake, i had people ask me all the time if my plans are ruined,....and now they sit back in awe of what I have done and become.


Add me if you would like support with this wonderful situation!! I'm always here to help/answer questions/vent to or whatever you may need.

chubalina

Don't stress sweetie, it always works out. It may be tough and bit of struggle but it will all be worth it when you see your beautiful baby for the first time. My husband was out of work when we had our son and had a 3700$ a month mortgage. I was scared to death but we have made it work. I am sorry your family isn't understanding right now, but they will come around,. You made the right decision keeping your baby and you can get your degree still. IT will just take a little longer. Also I believe you can get some government help as well. Good Luck and Congrats !

mdelcott

You'll be fine by the time I was 23 I was a single mother of 2!!! And now they are 10 and 8 best thing I ever did. Congrates and dont let anyone get you down. My mother and family werent too happy either but they get over it and love those children