Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

TeachTheGirl

I was 24 when I had my son. 28 when I had my daughter. I live half way across the world from my family and my husband is supporting us on one job AND he's in school. We have a comfortable life.

kadins_momma07

Age isn't any great measure of maturity.

MATURITY is the measure of maturity.

Everyone's different.

Totally agree!! There are horrible parents at all ages. All you can do is do the best you can and don't worry about the craziness everyone else is talking

BAMFMeredith

I was 21 when I got pregnant. I graduated college at the end of my first trimester, and have a fantastic career and a pretty awesome 5 year old now!

People are going to judge anyone who is young and pregnant. When I was pregnant, I looked a LOT younger than I was (I still get carded for rated R movies every once in a while, and I'm 27!) and I got some NASTY looks from upper class women in the nicer part of town. It got so frustrating, but I knew deep down I was going to be a great mom, albeit unexpectedly.

My son's father was a piece of crap during the pregnancy, and after, and still is only a father when it's convenient for him. But it doesn't matter. I won't lie and say it's easy. Because it's definitely not easy being a young mom, but it sounds like your boyfriend is very supportive and that's HUGE. It takes some hard work and a real test of your patience, but you can do it! If you're worried about the financial aspect, there is assistance out there for single moms. I know you're not "single" but legally, you are, so you could probably get some temporary government assistance to keep you and your baby healthy and fed while you work toward your goals. I had to use Medicaid for my son and Food Stamps for us for about 6 months when I finally left my son's dad (he wouldn't allow me to have a job, as a means of controlling me) while I was getting on my feet. No shame in needing a little help sometimes.

As for your family not speaking to you, my father was SO ashamed when I told him I was pregnant (he was SUPER religious and suggested I get married immediately), but he came around. Even my son's grandparents on the other side, they didn't speak to us during my entire pregnancy, but once that baby came, they were overjoyed to be grandparents and completely changed their tune..

And finally, congratulations!!

obsidianwings

I had my second child at 22, although my situation was a bit different as we were prepared as it was planned, you will be fine. I'm sure your family will come around, most do, its just a shock at first.

sthomasx7

Don't worry about what others say and VERY important to finish your education! Proud of you for not considering the alternative. A long time ago, I graduated high school, found out I was pregnant, got married and started college all with in 6 months. Took semester off to have the baby, caught up in summer school and finished college with the rest of my class in 4 years. Still married to the same man 30 years later and have had a great flexible career because of my education. I had my first child at 18 and my last one at age 38 (with 3 in between-1 birth and 2 adopted).Now my oldest is 29 and the youngest is 9. I went from being one of youngest moms at the elementary school to being asked if my youngest is my granddaughter :sad: . (Her teacher and some of her classmates' parents went to school with her big brother).

I will admit I had way more energy with the oldest child but working through MFP to get healthier to have the same energy for the younger ones.

It will not always be easy but it will be worth it - the child AND the education. If anyone offers to help, take them up on it. Family/church support is a great help. Good luck.

vballscriscuolo

You can do it girl! I am not a young mom, but I am 23 also. I got married last year (at 22) and ym family thought I was nuts for awhile too, and they know that I'm trying to have a baby as well and also think I'm crazy! So I feel your pain. While I am not pregnant yet, I am in a similar situation.

As for being unemployed, you can't freak about that right now, you need to throw yourself into your schooling and hopefully your boyfriend is willing to start to make a savings for the baby to give you guys a backbone to begin with once the baby comes. you're never alone in this even if things are bad with your family.

Feel free to add me and I'm TOTALLY willing to be a strong support for you

badgranola

I had my son when I was 23. He is 8 years old now. I've been a single mother for 6 years of that time. It isn't easy, but it is totally worth it. I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.

dschavers

I married right out of high school and had my first child at 20 (who is now 25 and having a baby of his own). Age is just a number and if you have a good support group and/or family you will do just fine.
Babies are a lot of work and a lot of joy all rolled up in to one. I wouldn't change mine if I could.......I was young when he was young and I'm still young (45) enough to enjoy and get out with the grand-children he is having and will have in the future. Good luck

jfaure23

You are where I was 9 years ago. I found out I was pregnant in February of my 2nd year of university. I had my beautiful baby boy, and left my boyfriend when my son was 6 months old. I did it on my own while finishing my last two years of university. I was able to get a spot in subsidized daycare during the day, tried to get all my courses to fit in that time, and worked a part time job during the day as well. IT IS HARD, but so absolutely rewarding when you finish for the day and your son looks at you like you are the baddest thing around.

Stick to your own, your friends and family will come around when they see you mean business and it is important to you.

Good for you.

AmberJslimsAWAY

Dood. I had my first when I was 17, 3 weeks before my senior year of High School. I moved out of my parents, into my own place, and finished school. I walked across the stage, just like everyone else, except I had a 10 month old on my hip. Life gets hard, but if you're willing to push through and make it your own, screw what everyone else says... I had my second when I was 20. (By this time I had married the guy lol) And now at 25, I have two AMAZING children. I am single now, and I've done it thus far. My son is one of the smartest in his grade, and I'm the youngest mom.

Fuck what everyone else thinks. Live for you and that baby. Be the best you can be, and no one can judge you.

aimstein

I didn't have my son until I was almost 32; however, I wish I'd started younger because I would love to have another one. It isn't in the cards for me...but you will have that option. At 23 you aren't too young to be a mother. There are plenty of wonderful mothers that started early. Don't stress yourself...stay the course and do what you have to do to be a wonderful parent and provide for your child. I started college at 32 when my son was 8mths. old. I have four classes left, and I'll be graduating with a bachelors in accounting this November. It CAN be done. The fact you're already so worried about getting a job and finishing school is a good indication that you will be a good mom. Good luck...you can do this!!

Lleldiranne

I was pregnant at 23. With my 2nd (I was married, both were planned, but I was still young). I actually went to school all during that pregnancy and graduated a year after he was born. Easy? No. Worth it? Definitely.

Look into your state's WIC program. It provides nutrition and education for low-income pregnant women and for new/breastfeeding moms and young children. It's not a lot, but it will give you some nutritious foods and support during your pregnancy and after.

strunkm4

Girl, you will be just fine While I didn't become a mom at 21, I became a step mom to an amazing 6 month year old. He is the absolute love of my life. He is now 3 1/2. I was still in school, we were BARELY making it, but we pushed through. Here we are almost 3 years later, and everything seems to have worked out perfectly.

Point being, you can't let others get you down or break you. You know you will be an awesome mom. Sometimes things happen and we can't control any of it. When you become a parent, you will see, although your parents might be mad at you now and not speaking to you, they are still your parents and love you unconditionally. When they see how mature and wonderful you are, they'll be there for you.

themommie

I got married at 20 had my 1st daughter at 21 then my second daughter at 23 and then we seperated when she was 3 mths old and ended up divorcing. I never planned on being a single mom it was really hard financially but I love being a mom it is a wonderful experience and you will learn to prioritize and give your baby what is important in life, the most important thing being love and attention. You will be a great mom. I have since gotten remarried and have several more children

SaketoKim

23 isn't that young. Your family will come around, mark my words on that. My parents were against me having a child even though I already had a house with my boyfriend. I had my son when I was 21, it was tough but we did it. 15 years later and it was still the best decision I have ever made in my life. He is a great student, athlete and a good person, I like to think we had a hand in that. Nothing else matters after becoming a mom. :happy:

trixirn

How old do they want you to be? Forty? (nothing wrong with being pregnant at forty either, 39 myself). You're old enough to vote, pay taxes, go to war. you're old enough to have a baby.

Sd0510

Good luck! I got pregnant at 17 so no bashing from me! Lmao.

Don't let anyone bother you about your choice to not have an abortion. That is a very personal decision and none of their business.

I still went to college after I had my son. It's hard but possible if you want to still go that route. Plus, as a single mom you can get more money in grants. I got the full amount of the pell grant every year.

This sounds very similar to me. It might sound weird, but my son was planned. Since my fiance and I have been engaged for years but never got married, I still got many grants too. I am still in college currently for Pharmacy. Our lives are great and I wouldn't change it for the world!

TrailRunner61

Honestly it's no one else's business but you and your bf's! Other people need to butt out. You'll do fine because you care and you know that it'll be work. All children should be so lucky.
We had our first when I was 21 with no problems and a 2nd child when I was 23, 3rd at 29. Yeah we did without at times but it was worth it! Plus it's not like you're 15 or 16 and in high school! You're an adult. Shame on your family and whoever else is not speaking with you because your're pregnant. Hopefully they will come around and you'll be able to forgive them. I'm sure they'll come around by the time the baby is born. Who can resist a baby?
Good luck and <hugs>, you'll do fine!

izoom3

I think that the reason that you are getting bashed by your family is because this is not what they would have chosen for you. You and your baby are what is important now. Do not let them get you down. 23 isn't all that young and you seem to have the maturity to make a sound decision.
Raising a child is hard no matter what your age. There is also nothing so rewarding as having that child. You have to be true to your heart and beliefs. You have to raise your child the way you think is right.
I will think of you often and send good thoughts you way. You are going to be a Mom that your child can look up to.

zombiefarmboy

I'm not a young mother... well, I'm not young at all, any more, but my wife and I were only 20 when we had our first child. It wasn't easy. Hell, it still isn't easy. We were 33 when we had our 2nd and 34 when we had our 3rd... I'm still getting used to it!