Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

Linda_Darlene

Don't you listen to anyone tell you otherwise! Congratulations! :flowerforyou: This past Sunday was officially your first Mother's Day!

Linda_Darlene

I was 19 when I got pregnant with my boyfriend who was 18 years old and we were both unemployed at the time (he was in school and I was supposed to go to the Navy). I felt too young at the time but when the baby came she was my reason for living. Now we are happily married for 8 years with a 7 year old girl and 6 year old boy! Your family will come around. My parents are extremely religious and very upset when they found out but they came around. Once the baby is here everyone will love him/her. You will be a great mom!!

sweet!

mummma

im 24 and i have 3 aged 6, 4 and 2.... im a great mum, and a great business woman. let the haters hate ! x

PlunderBunneh

I had my kids at 21 and 23. Didn't seem young to me, but I come from, and married into, a military family. My mother was on kid 3 of 4 at 22, and done at 25. Now we're all out of the house and she still has quite a few years to go and enjoy life without youngens.

You can do this, if you really want to. It'll be hard, but 23 isn't all that young, and it sounds like you are in a healthy and loving relationship.
Congratulations!

george29223

two thumbs up on you mamas such hard work

Xoxa1029

I got my GED early and married at the age of 17, my husband was 18. I got pregnant 3 months later. By the time I was 20 I had my 2nd daughter. I have been happily married for nearly 13 years and we now have 3 children. We have never put any of them into daycare. It is not easy to have children, no matter what age you are, but if you try hard, you can do it!!

DawnMarieMomofTwo

23 is not to young, i was pregnant with my first at 23 and boy do you need energy to chase after these little ones! nothing wrong with being a younger momma! as far as the job everything with work out it always does keep your head up, and maybe look for some state assistance, i know that can be VERY helpful! Congrats on your little bundle of joy

sweetmommy215

I got pregnant at 17 so I was even younger than you are. I'm 29 now by the way. My parent's were thankfully very supportive so I don't know how that feels to have them turn their backs on me. I didn't finish school If you are currently in school, I would definitely stick w/ it and finish up the program. Usually programs like that will help you find a job when you are done so maybe they can help you out after you have the baby. It is tough to work and take care of a child for anyone. If you can look to the state for any assistance I would. Don't be ashamed to do what you have to, to provide for your child. No one says you have to do it forever. But it will definitely help in the beginning. I hope your family comes around. It would be sad for them to have to miss out on such a happy time. Good Luck!

PlunderBunneh

my only real problem was/and is, that i look like i'm about 17 so i feel judged like people think i'm a teen mom, and really i am married, we are on our own, and we are so glad to have had a child. it's so embarrassing sometimes.

I used to run into the same thing, although not as much in the last year or so :grumble:

Lula16

23 is not that young. I got pregnant at 23 and had my daughter at 24. Then my son came two days before i turned 27. and guess what?? four months later i was seperated and filing for divorce. My son was 4 months and my daughter was 2 yrs. that was the hardest decision i ever made. I worked 2 jobs to pay my own aprtment for my babies. On the weekends, it was all about the kids. 2 yrs later i met my future husband. We were married the following yr when my son turned 3 yrs and my daughter 4 yrs. He is a good husband raising my babies as his own. Right now my son is 12 yrs and my daughter will turn 14 yrs in august.

if you have the support of your bf, thats all you need. Everything will fall into place. Your family will come around once the baby is born. Good luck to you!

lu136mickey

First off congrats!!! You are not to young to have a baby, my daughter is 23 and due in Oct. ( can't wait for my grandbaby) she is also about to start school for medical coding lol. I had my daughter at 19 and it was hard but very rewarding would not change it for the world. Maybe your family just wanted you to finish school and have career before starting a family, but regardless this is your life and your body do not let anyone tell you different they will get over it anyway lol, you can prolly get some kind of public aid to help while you are pregnant, best of luck to you!!!

quietlywinning

I was pregnant with my second child at 23. My parents were very angry with me, and I was married. They'll get over it and love their grandchild, and remember how much they love you. ( But if they don't, it's best to keep them out of the child's life. )

We struggled. My husband was very immature and selfish. I ended up a single mom. I've never for a second regretted my children. Never. You will love this baby so much, and any struggle will be worth the love that grows in your heart day by day, for the rest of your life.

AshleyRKnutson

I had my son at 21.. let me tell you some on the benefits...

you are youthful enough to do anything with your child when they are young I would take my son skiing, snowboarding, cycling hiking, backpacking carry him around in the baby backpack taking him to all the awesome museums in SF ( most 40 something moms get tired easily)

you'll still be youthful enough to do most of the things they do when they are a teen My son and I cycle, run and kayak together still

You'll still be young enough to have a sense of humor about some of the crappy things they will put you through

their friends will adore you because you're "the cool mom"

they won't wear you out as bad when they are in their teens

and when they leave the house,you'll still be youthful enough to have a very fulfilling life

Hang in there, You'll do great! :flowerforyou:

You are SO SO right here!! My momma had us young and she's still the "cool mom"!!! She's actually one of my very best friends! I love it!!!

Sweet_Pea_82

I was 17 when I got engaged, 18 when I got married and 19 when we had our first daughter and 22 with the second. Happily together for 13 years this summer and married for 12 in November. 23? that's a long time to wait! LOL. I also went to college for four years and got my BA degree in 2006 while my husband was in construction and laid off more than he worked. It was hard, but it CAN be done. Stay strong and don't worry about anyone else! As long as you and your b/f are happy that is ALL that should matter. Love every minute of your pregnancy. :flowerforyou:

littlelaura

Got married at 17 yrs old, was married 25 yrs before it fell apart , back then I got pregnant at 21, had her at 22, my daughter is 22 yrs old now and just graduated from college with high honors being on the deans list 5 times in a row and having a perfect 4.0 gpa, dont believe that crap you can not make it being younger or that you wont be a good mom or your kid wont turn out good cus its all bs, if you wanna be a good mom you will be and if your boyfriend wants to be a good dad he will be also. Age has no factor on that and if you waited till you were my age, guess what I am 43 and unemployed now, so the future isnt always brighter financially, those who think there is the perfect plan are wrong, you can hope your well made plans workout but life has a way of shaking things up with out your permission and when you least expect it. Enjoy your pregnancy and feel great about yourself, enjoy your life and your new baby when he or she is born and do not let anyone else tell you how to raise that child, ask for advice but trust your own instinct and intuition, just live your life for yourself and tell anyone who judges you to take a hike and you will do just fine!

katejkelley

I had three children by the time I was 23! Don't feel bad - being a mom has nothing to do with education or anyone's approval. It has to do with your willingness to love and take care of that child the best that you can. My kids are all grown now, married, and starting their own families. A lot of people thought I'd fail, too, but my kids turned out pretty great. You can continue to work on getting your education. It took me 17 years and 5 colleges, but I finally earned by Bachelors Degree when I was 34. I'm in my 50s now and working on a masters degree. There is no deadline for learning! I wish you all the best!

20shan08

I am 24 and I have a 4 year old daughter. Everything works if you work it It gets hard at times but I wouldn't take it back or change a thing, I love my daughter more than anything else in this world and she makes me smile every day... CONGRATS!

By the way, I never paid no mind to anyone that judged or had anything to say, even if you werent pregnant haters would find something else to judge you about, they'll always be there no matter what. Don't worry about what others think!

kkarrolle

I don't believe 23 is too young for pregnancy. But perhaps age isn't their real concern. Perhaps its about the situation between yourself and boyfriend? Perhaps its concern about money?

Great that you were able to leave a job for study, but currently you do not have a job to start banking money..you say your boyfriend is supportive, but what does that mean exactly? His he working in a good stable job? Will he be assisting in medical costs? Costs set up for the baby? Do you and your boyfriend intend to live together? If not,where will you live? Do you currently live with your parents? Perhaps they they concerned that you will be left by yourself to cope with the baby.

No doubt your parents have a thousand and one concerns, perhaps its time for your boyfriend and yourself to talk to them about what you intend to do for the future.

Mom0fTwo

had my first at 23 and my second at 25, hasn't stopped me any I work and I plan to get ECE diploma as soon as they are full time in school

jesscarows

I was 21 when I had my first son, and 26 when I had my second. Do what is right for you and your baby, and dont worry about anyone else.

rml_16

Sweetie, stuff happens and you just deal with it. Things like this are always scary in the beginning, but if you are strong and smart, they work out. I had my daughter when I was 17. I had a great support system (her father was and still is not part of that) and I finished high school, got a college degree and have a great job and a great life now. My daughter is graduating high school in a couple weeks, just got her license today and will be going to college in August.

Did I see all this when I was 17? Nope. It was scary and a long road ahead, but it worked out. It will for you, too.

swissjar

I was 21 and my wife was 24 when we had our son. I was still in school (senior) when he was born. Between the two of us we made less than 25,000 his first year. Grant it this was 21 years ago. I know this because he just celebrated his 21st bday and my wife and will be celebrating our 22nd anniv this year. Someone told me once that the hardest decisions in life always have the greatest rewards in the long run. Sounds like you have some tough decisions, but I see great rewards too!

purpleipod

I don't think 23 is too young. The 20s are a womans typical child bearing years. Under 20 is a little eeehhhh to me but yeah.

Ephena

I'd already had both my kids by the time I was your age. Unfortunately that meant college got put on hold but I don't regret a single second of my decision. My kids are my world and they give me so much strength to keep going. Now at 27 I've got a good job, a great support network of friends, two beautiful wonderful kids. I may not be rich in my bank account but there's enough in there to pay the bills and buy food, clothes and toys and I have the most important thing - love.

P.S. No, there is no man but their dad is as involved as he chooses to be and I'm in no hurry to settle again.

sarahrbraun

So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days otherwise I would've saved money if I knew I'd get pregnant I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who HAS MADE IT if there was a struggle along with being pregnant at a "young" age. My mother & family aren't speaking to me as of this day and think I am so stupid and crazy for having a child. Please.. I need the support....


I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.

I was 20 years old and had been dating my BF for about 3 months when I got pregnant with my oldest ( now 16). He wasn't sure he even wanted to be a daddy! I told him to make a choice--be a dad or be a child support check for 18 years. After thinking for a few days, he decided to be a daddy. 17 years later we have been married for 11 years, and we have a 12 year old and a 6 year old!

Katie3784

I had my daughter when I was 21. Her father was 25, and we had been together for 7 years at that point. Being a mom is hard, especially at such a young age. My boyfriend was working a job he hated, and we lived in a house owned by my mother and were only able to pay her for utilities. I stayed home full time until she was almost two when I started to go to school for med. assisiting. Things got really bad in our relationship, and we broke up when she was 2.5. Then I met another guy(my husband), and got pregnant at 25 with my son. It's been really hard, and at times I wonder if my husband and I will make it. Sometimes I think he resents me for "forcing" him into fatherhood and marriage. I was not successful at medical assisting. In fact, I highly discourage anyone from doing it. My husband works two jobs and is never home. We struggle majorly financially, and never take trips and rarely go out to eat. My son is in the midst of the terrible twos, and I never get to go out by myself. I wish I could work, but childcare alone would set us back at least $300 a week and I don't have the skills to get a job that would make working worth it. As hard and boring and stressful as my life is, I love my kids so much. I always say I can't understand how people don't want children. It's what we are meant to do. It sucks so much that your family is so unsupportive at a time when you need them the most. My parents have always been there for us, and have gone far above and beyond to make things better for my family. I love them so much. It will be a lot harder to establish yourself in a career after you have a child, but I admire you for making the choice you have. I am pro choice, but I totally understand why women want to keep their babies. Good luck!

michellekicks

Really this is just the beginning of people telling you how you should or shouldn't do things lol... once you have kids, everyone will have an opinion

Nancy_AZ60

MissLauren, 23 is not too young to have a child.. You are an adult now. Take it from a past 'VERY young" Mom.. I had one child at 18 and one at 20 then was a single parent at 22. Once the baby arrives everyone will lighten up on you., Surround yourseft with people who love you.

My advice, "KEEP GOING TO SCHOOL". you will never have an easier time when you are a parent than the first year.. You will need to take care of yourself and the baby forever.

I have a 33 Year old son who is married with 2 little ones, My Daughter has 2 boys (9 & 4) also, My Step-Daughter just had her first. Those who love you will accept you for who you are.

Make a 3 year plan and stick to it. You really can do it all.
Take Care, Nancy H.

zaithyr

I got married at 18 and had my first baby when I was 21 so I definitely don't think 23 is too young! I found out I was pregnant with my first right after I enrolled in college. Got two semesters in while i was pregnant. It can be done!

HollyAus

I AM 23 and have THREE kids! lol So no 23 is not too young to have kids. I got pregnant three months before I graduated high school and had our first son 3 weeks before I was 19. I had to learn to be a wife and mother in those 4 months after high school. We then had our little girl 21 months later and almost exactly 2 years after her had our baby boy. People thaught we were crazy having thems so quickly after, and maybe we were lol, but we BOTH were going to school and working part time. We had baught a house right before we were married, with a little help from my parents tho. But we both finished college in 4 years. I had all thre of mine while I was in classes. Our little girl was born in the middle of finals and baby boy was born a week before I was finished with student teaching and two weeks before graduation lol. Now my hubs is a middle school history teacher and coach and I stay at home with our three little ones.
My dad and brother both would have had an abortion if they could have choosen for me. But I didn't want to. I think they thaught we would just be poor and wouldn't finish college or "do" anything with or lives. Also I had a full ride scholorship to play softball and basketball (on the junior varsity team anyways) so he was really proud of that and wanted me to do it. But it was the best choice I have ever made. I don't really think it's our choice to make tho. Give the baby the choice to live.
It IS possible and you can give that baby a good life.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!