Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

fruitful9

Congratulations! 23 is a wonderful age....most gals are energetic and healthy and will be for the baby's growing up years.
My story includes getting married at 20 when I was 3 mo pregnant. 21 years later we are still happily married and have nine children
You will be blessed daily for your decision to let this child live. I applaud you.

The shorter school term will be basically done when baby comes so keep at it!

Sugar_Junkie

I was 19 when i got pregnant with my little girl, my boyfriend and I had just moved out on our own. I was 20 when I had my little girl and thought my life was going to be bliss!! WRONG (to a point). I wasn't even 21 before I found out my husband was seeing a woman old enough to be his mother and to top it off I knew the huzzie. I made him leave a few months after because things didnt get any better. Here I am 21 with a 1 yr old, a house payment and all that goes with it because we bought a house together, no job, no friends, and no idea what to do. I am happy to tell you I am now 26 and have managed to make, though then I thought I could just die. It hasnt been easy. Most days it is super hard, and I heard that whole young mother speal too. "your too young to have kids", "young kids have no business being parents because they are still kids themselves". Reality check for those who judge, having kids at an early age is nothing new. For years before us that is what people did. They had kids at the tender age of 12 maybe a little older and from what I can see their kids turned out just fine. So people want to criticize me for having a kid at 19 but it was ok to do so at 12,13,14 etc??? Though they may be right in some areas I don't think we as young mothers deserve to be stereo typed. Yes the older you are possibly the more time and patience you have. You may also be more financially stable, but if you were meant to be a parent then no matter the age you will do what you should.

Having a child changes people, some for the better, and some for the worse. Some people never grasp the fact that now your child is what is important and you will do without to make sure they have what they need. People sacrifice a lot no matter what age you are when you have your child. You trade in nights out for pjs on the couch, mixed drinks for kool-aid, cosmo for parenting magazine, that cute little clutch purse for a diaper bag filled with one of everything from the baby isle, but it is well worth it. Don't let these judgmental people bring you down. If you feel like your ready to attempt motherhood then you should do so. It is an amazing experience. Like anything else it has ups and downs, good times and bad, and all the in betweens.

Congrats on the upcoming addition. I think it is wonderful, and you will do what is right for you.

Mgregory723

First and foremost is it important to realize that it is your body and your life. No one should decide what is best for you but you. With that said, I was 20 yrs old when I had my first child. With the love and support from family and friends we made it. I had my second child 3 yrs later. For the most part I was on my own, the fathers were MIA through most of their lives. I had to put off going to college and sometimes working 2 jobs to get by. It can be done.

Now, my kids are grown and on their own. I have a grandson who I just love to pieces and I am so glad I never listened to others who did not understand what I was going through. I just finished getting my Associate's Degree and now I am working on me and my health. Everything will be fine and good luck to you, your boyfriend and your little one.

Emancipated_Tai

I use birth control, so I'm 29 and still haven't been pregnant.

However, my wonderful mother had my brother & myself by 18. She is now a successful business owner and very educated. She has her Masters degree and has held very high positions in fortune 500 companies prior to going into business for herself. Since my mother had us so young, I basically remember all of her life’s struggle. It was not always easy, but she was determined to show us that you don’t have to be a victim of circumstances. I now am attending school to be a lawyer because of my mother showed me that if should could succeed having 2 kids, I can defiantly succeed having none.

It may not always be easy, but life will go on!

DGK12

23 just means you're going to be young enough to play with your kids . I had my son at 19, and my daughter at 21, and you're going to find out that EVERYONE has an opinion. The only opinion that matters is yours. You do what you think is best for your child, and you move forward. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. It WILL be hard. But nothing worth doing right is going to be easy.
You're about to embark on the craziest, busiest, most bizarre journey of your life. But there is no greater journey than the adventure of becoming a parent. Congratulations, best of luck, and don't worry about your parents. They'll either come around, or they won't, but either way, this child will be born, and my guess is, they'll fall in love with him/her.

erikapereira

Hi
I am Erika. Its very sad to read that your family have such that attitude toward your pregnancy. You are young but YOU ARE AN ADULT!. I got pregnant when I was 21 and enrolled full time at the university. I was completly by my own and my only support was my mother. Today there are many programs that can help you to the process. If I was you I do not quit studying and if you are concern about money you can try to apply for Medicaid to cover your pregnancy or any other program in your local Human Services department. One of my biggest motivation to finish my degree was my baby. I took all the credits I need to finish the degree and after I gave birth I did my professional practice as a Social Worker. The government helped me to the process or in your case if your partner is so supportive he can understand that having studies can help you to get a better job. All you guys needs to do is sacrifice the time that you need to be at school.
I survived and I never quitted. Thanks to my sacrifice and my hardwork now I have my job, I like, is in what I studied and I am happy, my son is happy and that s all that matter.

stacymama5

I would NEVER go through abortion.

Please think things through, don't make a decision you will regret. I had my first child at 22 and second 18 months later. I always thought I never wanted children. Although I have not been with their father for many years, we did fine on our own until I met the man who is my soul mate and adopted them. We have been married 19 years and now have 6 grandchildren. I wouldn't change a thing.

pinthin87

23 is definitely not too young if being a mom is what you want. My mom had me when she was 18 and my sister at 23 and has raised us all on her own. Now, 25 (my age) years later we are living a pretty good life. My mom has a 3 bedroom house, and two cars all in her name and is the head of her department at a real estate company's corporate office. And she did all this on her own, so if your boyfriend is supportive you are already on the right track. Don't let anyone discourage you or tell you you're too young to be a mom. My friend got pregnant last year at your age and now she has an almost 1 year old and loves being a mom! It is a truly satisfying experience do not let anyone steal the joy of having a child from you. :-)

llm1607

I fell pregnant with my first at 22 and had him at 23. I wouldn't change it for the world. We don't have endless amounts of money or sleep lol but seriously there is nothing with begin 23 and pregnant! You have age on your side to chase them around when they are toddlers. Go for it girl! And enjoy! Xx

tarnbop

Age is just a number and all that; it's about your maturity level and they're the ones being immature in this situation, so I don't think they're in a position to judge!
Good luck with the pregnancy!

Still_Fluffy

Look into what resources your community has for single mothers. Often you can get rental assistance. Check with your local Vocational Rehabilitation office to see if they have any fund/grants for you to attend school. Check into Daycare assistance as well.

Also talk to your boyfriend. Get child support lined up now. If you break up it will take time to get an order done and you'll be stuck without support. If he's a real man he will step up to his responsabilty too.

Children are God 'sgreatest gift. They make life hard, but I have never been happier then I am with my children.

beccas27

Ok.. I will tell you my story.. I will try to make it short.. Yes, I got pregnant at a VERY young age.. (I'm talking teen MOM) It was very hard & they only real help I had was my mom at times. I have 2 kids now.. ages 16 & 11 & they are MY EVERYTHING!.. Everything happens for a reason.. I never understood this saying until later in life!.. Just be positive & everything will work out in the end.. I have a GREAT job & I love my life... If you are happy that is ALL that matters! U can always add me.. The more friends the better Keep your head up & held high!!

Tonika44137

First let me say Congratulations..its not bad having a kid...is it easy, hell no! I had my first child at 20 and my 2nd at 22 (their 16mths a part) and I've been a single since and had my daughter (the 2nd child)...they're now 8 and 10...its been hard and it still is but you can do...my best advice is t plan for your future and just work hard but they are EXPENSIVE

senyosmom

Don't worry about what anyone else says .... your family will come around once they realize you have made your choice and they are being unsupportive. It doesn't mater how old you are or much money you make - what matters is that you have made a choice to bring into the world and care for another person. It wont be easy (and it wont be cheap) but Im sure if you sit down and plan well you can budget and work it out.

Good luck to you!

BeingAwesome247

My mom was 25y.o. when she had me...she almost gave me up for adoption b/c she couldn't get her **** together and settle down when I was a baby.

I had my daughter 16days before my 21st birthday and have my act together 10times better than my mother did.
My daughter's father and I aren't together b/c I wasn't raising him too. I encourage my friends to wait till they're older, however I don't think you're TOO YOUNG by any means. Is it the most ideal situation? No. But you'll get through it.
I never wanted children and now I wouldn't know what to do w/o my daughter. You're going to be fine and you're going to realize just how strong you can be.

Best of luck

bethmcdonald4

I was a very young 19 when I got pregnant with my first child and it is very difficult but also very rewarding. DO NOT let anyone tell you that you are stupid or anything. Love your child and be thankful for your boyfriend being their to support you. Do not give up on your dream of school you can do it. You know have an extra driving force to help you succeed....It is hard to be a young woman with a child but like I said it is very rewarding as well. Keep your chin up. I am now a mother of 3 ages 22, 21 and nearly 4. My 4 year old's dad has not seen her since she was 2 1/2 weeks old and let me tell you she wants for nothing. Yes there are times where I wish I had the help and the support but I have done it and so will you. We are here for you.

smiles4deb

I had my daughter at 19. I never once thought of abortion and I was adopted and have often wondered about my birth mother, so I decided I would keep her. Her dad and I did get married, but later divorced. We are the best of friends and have been for years, so we did raise our child together. She just turned 20 and is the most amazing person. I would not change it for the world. Good luck to you.

jenny95662

i married at 23 and got pregnant 3 months later had my first kid at 24 like 3 weeks after i turned it. its not too young and its wonderful

annabelsmommy

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

How far along are you? Work hard at school & get done before the baby comes if your program is only 6-8 months. If you need things for the baby, there are lots of consignment shops with gently used items you can get at a reasonable price - also throw a baby shower and make a registry at Target or Babies R' Us for all the stuff you need - you'll be surprised how everyone will come together in the end for your child. Also, many church's offer help. There's no reason you should feel like you have to have an abortion, that is your flesh and blood - you choose, not your family. You will find a way. I had 2 kids and no job by the time I was 25. But while I was having kids I was going to school and doing it online when they were newborn and my boyfriend paid the bills for our teeny tiny apartment. We scraped by, but now that I have a degree and we're both working. We're doing okay, still not at the level of being to save college funds for our kids, but with hard work we will get there. It will work out hun, just set up your game plan

012345emma

me and my husband have been together since i was 16 we had our first daughter when i was 19 i had just finished college when i fell pregnant .my husband worked and i looked after my daughter it was a struggle money wise but that has only made us stronger as a family.i am now 29 and have 3 children 2 girls and a boy.i have now gone back to work full time but only because my job allows me to take my son who is 17 months old otherwise i could have only gone part time.Be positive and be strong being a mum is the most rewarding job in the world and i wish you all the happiness in the world good luck and enjoy every moment of it. xx

arizonaladybug

I just had my child at 25 and I was so scared about being a mom and how I would pay for things. I am married but I make way more money than my husband.. I dont know how to explain it but you will make it work and theres alot of programs out there to help people struggling like WICC your parents should be happy for you. Not everything happens like a perfect fairy tale. I dont know what dream world they are living in!
Congratulations!

belladonnablue

I was a year older than you when I got pregnant. Similar story, too -- unmarried, but with a supportive boyfriend, and I was working very part-time while going to school. I had a rough pregnancy and had to quit working except 1 or 2 days a week, and quit working entirely not long after the baby was born. Boyfriend had to support us.

Getting started with babies at 23 isn't "too young" -- you're really the only one that can decide if you're too young or old for kids. You can be 40 and still not be ready, or you can be ready at 19. Your dissenters may be more concerned about financial stability or your unmarried status. (To which I say, re: the "you can't have kids if you're not married!!1!", poo poo on you.)

Re: the financial situation, though, I'm not gonna lie. It's freaking hard. I have not gone back to work and my daughter's almost 2 now, and we've been surviving off my boyfriend's wages, but he barely makes above minimum wage. But we agreed that having our daughter be with a parent around the clock is the most important thing, and we've never argued about that. He also encourages me to continue going to school, and I am. But I am taking much, much slower than I would if we didn't have a baby.

So, yes, you guys can get by raising a family on one person's wages. You CAN continue going to school. It will be hard, hard, hard, and you will make a lot of sacrifices and use up any goodwill you have coming to you from friends and family.

We had to move cities when we couldn't afford to stay where we were, and we have a lot of bills we are not in a place we can pay yet. We have to plan out grocery shopping to the dollar and we were on food stamps for about the first year after the baby. I haven't had medical insurance since I was pregnant. But we are slowly doing better. We are fed, our daughter's healthy (and does have insurance through my boyfriend) and we're keeping the lights on.

Not saying this to scare you -- we don't regret having our daughter for an instant -- but as someone who was in a similar situation, letting you know how tough it can be. But there are resources out there to take advantage of, and we had very, very little family support, too.

RichardCMolloy

Having a child at 23 has it's upside too. When you're my age, your child will be grown up so you will be able to go out with out trying to find a sitter

Just love your child & do your best.

JulieH3art

Dont let others judge you!!!

You are not a "young" Mom per definition! You are a perfectly fine age! Seriously.

micervera

I had just graduated high school when I found out I was pregnant & the father was still in high school when I was pregnant. I found a part time job & I lived with my mom. After he was born I took a full time job cause the father decided he didn't want to be around. I didn't get a chance to go back to school. I've been lucky though. I found a really good job, got me through the door of where I work now & now I'm a very good situation for not having college education. However it was still a struggle & that's what being a parent is, doing what's best for your children. I understand about the money thing so the best advice I can give you is while you go to school, find a part time job that will work with your schedule & start saving. I got hand me downs from friends & family. Some churches will have find cribs, blankets & clothes for you too. Check into state insurance cause you will need that to cover birthing costs for your & the baby. Congratulations and good luck on your journey.

scmcgee

You can do this!!! I was 24 when I got pregnant and was not married. My BF was in third year of college and I had been a nurse for 1 year We got married in February (not the summer wedding I had always planned, but plans change). My oldest son is 18 and my husband and I have been together for 20 years (married for 19 years). It was stressful in the beginning but it worked out.

Finish your school you are in right now!!! Save up money and buy baby stuff secondhand. You don't need a lot of fancy stuff for the baby - just you!!

JulieH3art

Agh, just posting again because this made me kinda angry.

You are old enough to decide for yourself. You have a partner whom you love (presumably) and who is willing to take responsibility. That's the most important thing. Everything else will fall into place eventually, but just keep in mind that this is LIFE happening to you right now. If you spend longer on your education, if you have to cut back and budget for a while, you'll figure all of that stuff out together with your boyfriend.

Don't be afraid. You are more than capable of doing this, and you shouldn't let anyone tell you differently.

Moreover, your family will LOVE your child, or else stand to lose a great deal. They are the ones who need a reality check. Not you.

trhjrh06

23 is not that young. I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 19 and we had our daughter 2yrs later. So I was 21yrs old. Our daughter was planned but that doesn't make it any different. Really all that matters is that you and your boyfriend are happy and on the same page.
Good luck!

leilanieann

Right now the sky feels like its falling, but its not I promise. All things are possible finish school while you are pregnant even if you have to make sacrifices. ( you will be making them the rest of your life now anyway ) Once the baby gets here your family will forget they were upset, you will bounce back fast because you are 23 and you will be able to find a job with your new education status behind you. Good luck and I wish you and your family the best.:flowerforyou:

ishtar13

I was 25 when I had my daughter, and single and the guy was not supportive.

She's 16 now, a junior in high school with a good GPA, looking at colleges, responsible, with a job, a black belt in taekwondo. . .

She's just a fabulous kid.

There were some hard times, but overall, yeah, it's been good.