Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

tldust

Who says 23 is too young? That's just crazy. According to the medical community, 35 is considered an advanced maternal age and puts women and child at higher risk for complications. And we are stuck with the eggs we are born with. You know most places won't accept egg donors after the age 25 because they are considered too old.

So what's too old? What's too young? Do what you feel is right. Congrats!

bleacheblonde

I don't think it's about age, I think it's about whether or not you are emotionally ready and responsible enough to have a child, and it sounds like you are ready and aren't under any misimpression that it will be easy. I would say the people who judge you aren't worth your time; live your life the way you want to live it!
I'm kind of in the opposite boat...I'm 26 and nowhere near ready to have a baby. Just thinking about it freaks me out....I kind of feel like a weirdo because most of the girls I went to high school with have at least 1 kid by now and I feel like most other women my age are gushing about babies and I just don't have any interest in it Oh well, perhaps it will come with time.

mdundon09

I was 23 when I had my first and 24 when I had my second. You will do just fine! There are always people who will judge you out there but, frankly, motherhood is so amazing that it doesn't matter what others say. I got pregnant the day of my wedding (wedding night baby) and I still remember a couple of comments I got. One was "Wow, you must have had a shotgun wedding" and "I guess you HAD to get married". Some people just love to cause tension. Oh and when I bought an at-home pregnancy test, the cashier at Target said "God, I hope you're not pregnant" lol just have to laugh it off and move on It'll be great!

SkettiGurl

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

Finish your program you are taking, you can do this. Things may seem a little bit scary right now but when you start to feel that little miracle growing inside of you it makes a lot of the fear go away. I had a friend who got pregnant while she was taking nursing. She had that baby and went straight back to school.

My sister was 23 when she had her first son and she is a single mum with now two boys and she graduates from a 2 year ECE program in two weeks!

Don't worry about the money, Life has a way of working itself out. Think about breast feeding as that is free and exactly what your baby needs for the first six months of it's life and from there it's just minimal food supplementing the Breast milk. (Food before 1 is for fun!) Get other things second hand, there is some nice stuff out there and look at cloth diapers. I got 10 in great shape for $2 at a garage sale!

You can do this...forget the haters! your family will come around. (btw, I LOVE being a mum, it's the best thing EVER!)

lucillavea

I was married at 20 and had my first child at 21yo. I put my husband through school and he helped me finish school as well. Eight children later with 22 years of marriage behind us, my hubby has his MD, I have my Bachelors and am now a stay at home mom. Do NOT let anyone tell you that you can not do anything... do it and do it well... it will shut people up real fast! Good luck to you and yours!!

SirBen81

Doing a lot of sit ups and abdominal exercises probably wouldn't be a good idea. I'd stay away from back exercises too, since the additional weight from carrying a kid would already give your back enough of a workout. I don't see any reason why you couldn't keep doing arm, shoulder, and leg exercises though.

OLFATUG

23 is not too young, and it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. The thing that matters most to raising a family is love. Love your child and everything else will fall into place.

jenniferg83

I made it. I was 19 when i had my son, 23 when i had my daughter. My husband and i got married at 6 months pregnant with my son. We are still happily together and i wouldnt change anything. All the struggles through out the years have brought us closer than ever. There is life after children

amkelley

I finished my masters degree while pregnant with my oldest son back in 2007. It may be hard some days but just keep on going and doing it. It will make the time pass quicker and keep you busy. Dont even think you cant go to school and be pregnant! you CAN do it!

LaGordita87

You will be able to do! I was a young mom, i married my husband a month before i turned 19 and i was pregnant with our 1st daughter a month after i turned 19 most of my family thought i was to young and i was going to regret it but it's completely untrue, I had our 2nd daughter right after i turned 22. I love being a mommy more than anything in the world, is it hard yes, do we struggle sometimes yes, but i have learned how to survive on less than i did before i was ever married or had kids and we do just fine, my husband worked 2 jobs for a while( until i was able to figure out how to manage with just his 1 income) so that i was able to stay home with our girls and didn't have to put them in daycare(i hate those places, plus it didn't make much sense for us because i would only bring home a couple hundred dollars after daycare fees). We may not be able to afford all the really nice new things but i would much rather have my husband and girls than all the material things i am missing out on, and i am sure, that even though you may struggle in the beginning you will be able to adjust your lives and be completely happy and there really is nothing better than being a mommy(in my opinion any ways lol). If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me.

Silver_Star

I think your family is just reacting for now......when they see the baby they might just melt at the beautiful child

23 is absolutely great to have a kid at.
I am so proud of you for having this baby even at this 'inconvenient' time....Babies are precious.

All the best :flowerforyou:

AmyM713

I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first, I was a couple months away from graduating from high school. Anyways I graduated high school started college while pregnant completed my associates degree in a year and a half and worked a part time job the whole time going to college.

I married my sons father, we now have 3 boys, own our own home and both have good jobs. Do things get tight? Yes but I think it does for anyone no matter what age a family is started. Don't let anyone put you down and tell you you can't do this. My mother was so upset and told me I ruined my life at first, but comments like that gave me the fire to work harder and made me want to prove I could do anything. My mother is now so proud of her grandchildren and me.

Good luck and congratulation! If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to message me, or friend request me!!

kayl3igh88

I fell pregnant at 16, and had my son at 17. I have been his sole carer for 90% of his life. He's now aged 6, at the top of his class in his second year of primary school, and my inspiration to carry on and be better every day of my life. He has literally saved my life though he'll never know it. I could not be more proud of him, or me, but more him. Having him was the very best thing I could ever have done, regardless of my age when I concieved, and yes I am crying just a little bit.

sel254

I took on my late husband's baby when he was a week old and I was 18 (long story!) He's nearly 9 now and although not mine biologically, he's everything to me. I've raised him single handedly since his dad passed away when I was 21 and yes, there's been lots of tough times but the good ALWAYS have and always will outweigh the bad. I have a very successful career and even managed to do 3 tours of Afghan when I was in the army reserves...long story short, everyone but my grandad literally stopped talking to me because they didn't agree with what I did but I proved them wrong when they said it would "ruin" my life and wouldn't change anything for the world. They now all absolutely adore him and wouldn't change anything themselves. Congratulations, Good luck and I hope everything really works out for the best for you

MarieAnneN

I don't think 23 is too young. I was married at 22, although I didn't have children for a few years. You'll be fine. You won't be 23 forever, sadly!

Same here. 23 is not too young, the way you act and take your responsability prooves you are ok and will be ok. Even with a kid, if you have the drive and will to acheive something great, no matter what it is, you will be able to do so.

I had my daughter at 25 but got divorced at 29 and I have done nothing but good even with being a single mother. Great career and always continued to go to school at night, no matter what.

If you have faith in yourself, nothing is impossible! ;-)

teenytinii

i had my daughter when i was 17. it sucked and it was hard to finish high school and four years of college but i took the help i needed where i could get it and we got by. now i am 27 and she is in third grade and life is much easier / more normal for us.. i work full time, shes on the swim team, im getting married..life is great for us. its hard but its all worth it.

also - my parents were so upset with me and now everyone just loves loves my daughter and life without her is truely unimaginable. your family will come around and you will get by just fine. this will all be worth it. xo

hmgarcia83

you may be unemployed but you have a plan stick with it and finish school

Only1tracie

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

This is perfect then. You can get your schooling out of the way, have the baby and enjoy your new career and child:) I am also a medical assistant and went to college when mine were 2@3. It will be a lot easier to get your studies out of the way before the baby is born. This is supposed to be a happy time for you. If you and your boyfriend are happy, then that is what matters. The family will come around, and if they don't, well once again, enjoy your new family:)

tiffany5839

I had my first child at 21 and was unemployed and also my husband was on drugs and had no job either. We did have some help from family but Honestly I did whatever I could so my baby had everything it needed. Somehow you will pull through!

fitnfancy80

Do what you feel is right. Only you know what you can handle. Your family will come around and if the don't it's their loss.
Keep your head up. This too shall pass.

manderann

When I found out I was pregnant, I was 20 and had dropped out of college because I was an alcoholic. I had just left my job and the baby's father worked at a pizza place. We had several thousand dollars in debt, only one car, and only one part time job between the two of us... We sold drugs to put food on the table even. We had nothing but each other, and we had a lot of hard times, but we worked hard to turn things around and it all paid off.

Now, I have a happy, very polite, smart, and beautiful little three year old. Her father and I are great friends even though we are getting a divorce now (whoda thunk our situation wouldn't have fostered a healthy marriage long term haha). Substance abuse is no longer an issue. Debt is gone. I have a full time job and a side business of my own, in addition to going back to school... Life is GOOD.

It doesn't matter how old you are, just that you step up and do what you need to do for your family.

chergarr73

I was 23 and single (non-supportive donor) when I had my oldest. He's a freshman in high school now and one of the greatest joys and accomplishments of my life. The dumbest thing I did was worry. Just take things day by day, and give it to God. I too, was encouraged to abort by friends and family and refused to...thank God I did not! I wouldn't want to imagine what my life would have been without him!!

audieannie

Google CHIP if you are afraid of being able to take care of your child. If you are going back to school you probably qualify for a school health insurance plan.

keep your head up and you will be fine. I can't believe how immature your family is being. Even if they don't support your decisions, they should support YOU.

VanessaGS

So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days otherwise I would've saved money if I knew I'd get pregnant I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who HAS MADE IT if there was a struggle along with being pregnant at a "young" age. My mother & family aren't speaking to me as of this day and think I am so stupid and crazy for having a child. Please.. I need the support....


I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.

Your family will get over it. Just be glad your boyfriend is on board.

sbrockway78

Keep your chin up honey!! I got pregnant at 15 and I as well, don't believe in abortion. I had my third child by the time I was 22. I had alot of support from the dad and my family and friends. The father and I married before my second child was born and we were married for 10 years. We have been divorced 4 years now. Life is a constant struggle no matter what your circumstances are. Everyone on this earth fights their own battles. As long as you have faith in yourself and the confidence that you will make it through...it will happen!! If you ever need someone to talk to or need any kind of emotional support...you can contact me anytime. My email is sbrockway78@yahoo.com. Being a mom is the greatest gift in the world, and it should be treated as such!! My kids are healthy and happy and they are greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was exactly the plan I had thought about in my dreams...but God had different plans for me. Have faith!!

DarcieC2389

While my story is different and I married later at 29 and had my only child at 31. I don't find 23 is too young. You are not a teenager and are college aged, so don't worry what people think and just be the best mother you can be.

mwoodrum

I got pregnant and had my baby 1 month after graduating from XRay school. Don't let anyone discourage you, do what's best your for you and the future of your child. My parents were angry and hurt at first, but my daughter is their life now!!! Keep your head up and be patient with them.

tararocks

no idea what the nine pages of posts before me said but I imagine they are all supportive...i had my daughter when I was 18, her father and I both worked part time minimum wage jobs, we did get help from family however, we both graduated from college, we are now married with another daughter, and that oldest is about to start high school, she is a great kid. It was hard and sometimes I questioned everything, but I wouldn't change it....good luck to you, and congratulations:)

cramernh

I was 18, fresh out of high school, set to go off to Trade school when I found out I was pregnant (mind you, I used two forms of birth control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I continued on to Trade School but a year later. Had some medical problems though (thanks to being misdiagnosed) but had a healthy baby girl (9lbs 7.5oz almost 22in long!), returned to work four months later (due to the medical problems)...

The father of my daughter decided he didnt want the responsibility any more, tried to get custody - but he failed MISERABLY... and instead hurt himself badly in the court's eyes.

I worked, finished school AND was a full time mom. My mother did help out, but later that relationship dissolved over some really serious drinking issues that came about around the time my daughter was about 8 months old...I didnt want to deal with anymore (or have my daughter witness either)...

Her dad kept trying to make hell for me in court, but he kept making himself look bad continuously.

Met a guy, married him, we divorced a year later (that adulterous nitwit)... met another guy who came knocking on my door, who fell in love with me and willingly accepted the role of Dad to my daughter.

Work was a little difficult from time to time, had four layoffs within a 6 year time frame (UGH) that was horrendous.... to think, I was going into the medical field?!?!?!?!?

Fastforward to today: My daughter will be 19 this June, the man that Im with, we have been together for 13 years, three of which we have been married... our anniversary is coming up actually.

It was rough - but, in the end, every battle I had, I became stronger. And it angered her father even more, especially now where he also had to deal with a 6'6" tall 295lb guy who answered the door! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!

I wont lie... its hard... but, it can be done..... requires alot of time that you no longer have, you make alot of sacrifices and you have to be willing to accept those sacrifices...

chin up... this is coming from a woman who did it all alone for the first 6-7 years of motherhood!

now I have an almost 19 yr old who is ready to go to college in the fall for Criminal Law as her major... I must have done something right?!?!?! LOL!!!

mrseelmerfudd

i was 18 when i had my daughter. i was in the middle of studying for my a levels and getting ready to go to university.. so those plans were put on hold for a year, but in the summer, i graduated with one of the top marks in my class. you can do it!!