Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

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  • tldust
    tldust Posts: 103 Member
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    Who says 23 is too young? That's just crazy. According to the medical community, 35 is considered an advanced maternal age and puts women and child at higher risk for complications. And we are stuck with the eggs we are born with. You know most places won't accept egg donors after the age 25 because they are considered too old.

    So what's too old? What's too young? Do what you feel is right. Congrats!
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
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    I don't think it's about age, I think it's about whether or not you are emotionally ready and responsible enough to have a child, and it sounds like you are ready and aren't under any misimpression that it will be easy. I would say the people who judge you aren't worth your time; live your life the way you want to live it!
    I'm kind of in the opposite boat...I'm 26 and nowhere near ready to have a baby. Just thinking about it freaks me out....I kind of feel like a weirdo because most of the girls I went to high school with have at least 1 kid by now and I feel like most other women my age are gushing about babies and I just don't have any interest in it :/ Oh well, perhaps it will come with time.
  • mdundon09
    mdundon09 Posts: 66 Member
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    I was 23 when I had my first and 24 when I had my second. You will do just fine! There are always people who will judge you out there but, frankly, motherhood is so amazing that it doesn't matter what others say. I got pregnant the day of my wedding (wedding night baby) and I still remember a couple of comments I got. One was "Wow, you must have had a shotgun wedding" and "I guess you HAD to get married". Some people just love to cause tension. Oh and when I bought an at-home pregnancy test, the cashier at Target said "God, I hope you're not pregnant" lol just have to laugh it off and move on :) It'll be great!
  • SkettiGurl
    SkettiGurl Posts: 186 Member
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    the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

    Finish your program you are taking, you can do this. Things may seem a little bit scary right now but when you start to feel that little miracle growing inside of you it makes a lot of the fear go away. I had a friend who got pregnant while she was taking nursing. She had that baby and went straight back to school.

    My sister was 23 when she had her first son and she is a single mum with now two boys and she graduates from a 2 year ECE program in two weeks!

    Don't worry about the money, Life has a way of working itself out. Think about breast feeding as that is free and exactly what your baby needs for the first six months of it's life and from there it's just minimal food supplementing the Breast milk. (Food before 1 is for fun!) Get other things second hand, there is some nice stuff out there and look at cloth diapers. I got 10 in great shape for $2 at a garage sale!

    You can do this...forget the haters! your family will come around. (btw, I LOVE being a mum, it's the best thing EVER!)
  • lucillavea
    lucillavea Posts: 6
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    I was married at 20 and had my first child at 21yo. I put my husband through school and he helped me finish school as well. Eight children later with 22 years of marriage behind us, my hubby has his MD, I have my Bachelors and am now a stay at home mom. Do NOT let anyone tell you that you can not do anything... do it and do it well... it will shut people up real fast! Good luck to you and yours!!
  • SirBen81
    SirBen81 Posts: 396 Member
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    Doing a lot of sit ups and abdominal exercises probably wouldn't be a good idea. I'd stay away from back exercises too, since the additional weight from carrying a kid would already give your back enough of a workout. I don't see any reason why you couldn't keep doing arm, shoulder, and leg exercises though.
  • OLFATUG
    OLFATUG Posts: 393 Member
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    23 is not too young, and it sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders. The thing that matters most to raising a family is love. Love your child and everything else will fall into place.
  • jenniferg83
    jenniferg83 Posts: 278 Member
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    I made it. I was 19 when i had my son, 23 when i had my daughter. My husband and i got married at 6 months pregnant with my son. We are still happily together and i wouldnt change anything. All the struggles through out the years have brought us closer than ever. There is life after children :)
  • amkelley
    amkelley Posts: 81
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    I finished my masters degree while pregnant with my oldest son back in 2007. It may be hard some days but just keep on going and doing it. It will make the time pass quicker and keep you busy. Dont even think you cant go to school and be pregnant! you CAN do it!
  • LaGordita87
    LaGordita87 Posts: 161 Member
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    You will be able to do! I was a young mom, i married my husband a month before i turned 19 and i was pregnant with our 1st daughter a month after i turned 19 most of my family thought i was to young and i was going to regret it but it's completely untrue, I had our 2nd daughter right after i turned 22. I love being a mommy more than anything in the world, is it hard yes, do we struggle sometimes yes, but i have learned how to survive on less than i did before i was ever married or had kids and we do just fine, my husband worked 2 jobs for a while( until i was able to figure out how to manage with just his 1 income) so that i was able to stay home with our girls and didn't have to put them in daycare(i hate those places, plus it didn't make much sense for us because i would only bring home a couple hundred dollars after daycare fees). We may not be able to afford all the really nice new things but i would much rather have my husband and girls than all the material things i am missing out on, and i am sure, that even though you may struggle in the beginning you will be able to adjust your lives and be completely happy and there really is nothing better than being a mommy(in my opinion any ways lol). If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me.
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
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    I think your family is just reacting for now......when they see the baby they might just melt at the beautiful child :smile:

    23 is absolutely great to have a kid at.
    I am so proud of you for having this baby even at this 'inconvenient' time....Babies are precious.

    All the best :):flowerforyou:
  • AmyM713
    AmyM713 Posts: 594 Member
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    I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first, I was a couple months away from graduating from high school. Anyways I graduated high school started college while pregnant completed my associates degree in a year and a half and worked a part time job the whole time going to college.

    I married my sons father, we now have 3 boys, own our own home and both have good jobs. Do things get tight? Yes but I think it does for anyone no matter what age a family is started. Don't let anyone put you down and tell you you can't do this. My mother was so upset and told me I ruined my life at first, but comments like that gave me the fire to work harder and made me want to prove I could do anything. My mother is now so proud of her grandchildren and me.

    Good luck and congratulation! If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to message me, or friend request me!!
  • kayl3igh88
    kayl3igh88 Posts: 428 Member
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    I fell pregnant at 16, and had my son at 17. I have been his sole carer for 90% of his life. He's now aged 6, at the top of his class in his second year of primary school, and my inspiration to carry on and be better every day of my life. He has literally saved my life though he'll never know it. I could not be more proud of him, or me, but more him. Having him was the very best thing I could ever have done, regardless of my age when I concieved, and yes I am crying just a little bit.
  • sel254
    sel254 Posts: 273 Member
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    I took on my late husband's baby when he was a week old and I was 18 (long story!) He's nearly 9 now and although not mine biologically, he's everything to me. I've raised him single handedly since his dad passed away when I was 21 and yes, there's been lots of tough times but the good ALWAYS have and always will outweigh the bad. I have a very successful career and even managed to do 3 tours of Afghan when I was in the army reserves...long story short, everyone but my grandad literally stopped talking to me because they didn't agree with what I did but I proved them wrong when they said it would "ruin" my life and wouldn't change anything for the world. They now all absolutely adore him and wouldn't change anything themselves. Congratulations, Good luck and I hope everything really works out for the best for you :)
  • MarieAnneN
    MarieAnneN Posts: 205
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    I don't think 23 is too young. I was married at 22, although I didn't have children for a few years. You'll be fine. You won't be 23 forever, sadly!

    Same here. 23 is not too young, the way you act and take your responsability prooves you are ok and will be ok. Even with a kid, if you have the drive and will to acheive something great, no matter what it is, you will be able to do so.

    I had my daughter at 25 but got divorced at 29 and I have done nothing but good even with being a single mother. Great career and always continued to go to school at night, no matter what.

    If you have faith in yourself, nothing is impossible! ;-)
  • teenytinii
    teenytinii Posts: 90 Member
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    i had my daughter when i was 17. it sucked and it was hard to finish high school and four years of college but i took the help i needed where i could get it and we got by. now i am 27 and she is in third grade and life is much easier / more normal for us.. i work full time, shes on the swim team, im getting married..life is great for us. its hard but its all worth it.

    also - my parents were so upset with me and now everyone just loves loves my daughter and life without her is truely unimaginable. your family will come around and you will get by just fine. this will all be worth it. xo
  • hmgarcia83
    hmgarcia83 Posts: 45 Member
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    you may be unemployed but you have a plan stick with it and finish school
  • Only1tracie
    Only1tracie Posts: 31
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    the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

    This is perfect then. You can get your schooling out of the way, have the baby and enjoy your new career and child:) I am also a medical assistant and went to college when mine were 2@3. It will be a lot easier to get your studies out of the way before the baby is born. This is supposed to be a happy time for you. If you and your boyfriend are happy, then that is what matters. The family will come around, and if they don't, well once again, enjoy your new family:)
  • tiffany5839
    tiffany5839 Posts: 104 Member
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    I had my first child at 21 and was unemployed and also my husband was on drugs and had no job either. We did have some help from family but Honestly I did whatever I could so my baby had everything it needed. Somehow you will pull through!
  • fitnfancy80
    fitnfancy80 Posts: 251 Member
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    Do what you feel is right. Only you know what you can handle. Your family will come around and if the don't it's their loss.
    Keep your head up. This too shall pass.

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