Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

So I recently just found out that I am pregnant. I do not believe in abortion, and I am for sure willing to own up to my responsiblity. My boyfriend is very supportive as well, although the thing is.. I recently just left my job to go back to school, it is hard finding another job these days. I know no matter what I will strive to be the best mom I can be, I may be very "young" to alot of people, but I would love to hear any stories from young mothers who are holding up strong with their child today, and who has made it. Please.. I need the support....


I'm worried about being unemployed.. my bf is working, I am going to a ROP program for school which is about a 6-8 month program for medical assisting / billing & coding, I cannot afford going to another school right now.. I hope I can make it, I know it will be a struggle but I also know it'll be worth it.

As long you're caring and you're trying to create a better future for yourself which it seems then that's what matters. I don't have any kids but I'm sure it can be tough for any first time mom no matter what age. ROP programs are pretty good for being a trade school compared to alot of trade schools out there (and the cost is right!). I had a couple of friends who got hired from them, they were actually hired while doing their work experience portion for the program so when you start your work experience do the best you can since you never know where it might lead

While it might not be an ideal situation, there isn't much that you can do now right? You'll figure out a way to get through it. To all the people that think you won't, prove them wrong. I'm sure you will do great.

I had my first child the day after I turned 24. I wouldn't trade a thing!! I have two fabulous kids, and even with all the struggles, I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck!

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

Your kids turn into your motivation! Just remember whatever you have to do, you will do for your family! It will be a lot and at some point, you will probably feel the desire to give up but, push through that and in the end, you will see it will all be worth it!!

My BFF from HS had her first at 18, 2nd at 19 right after she was married, lost her husband when the 2nd was not even a month old...she is now re- mairred, 13 yrs later, and has 4 boys and she makes it everyday! Anyone can do anything you put your mind to.

Again, when it comes to moving forward, you are the only person who can keep you down! Keep striving to be your best and you will persevere through it all!!

GOOD LUCK and a very big CONGRATS!!! MOtherhood is the best thing in the world you can do!! :-)

I'll be 30 this summer, and had my son last September - I was already 29. If things had gone according to my "plan," I would've been younger - somewhere around your age. But then I wouldn't have the fabulous husband and son that I now have!! Amazing how things work out, isn't it?
I agree with the poster that said it's likely you're being "bashed on" because you're not married - some of the older generation gets stuck on the PC order of things. But the times are changing, and things are being done differently than they were back then.
Congratulations to you, and best of luck!!

Never been pregnant before but I honestly believe you will be fine..I have seen WAYYY younger. Babies are a precious gift from God.

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

I haven't read the entire thread, but have you considered adoption?

Maybe in the modern world sense its too young but I come from a culture where getting married and having kids at 18-19 is norm.

Age doesn't make a mother, a mother makes a mother. Every parent, no matter how old or young makes mistakes and its just a part of being a parent. But you should try to be a good parent, raise kids with good ethics and morals and thats all. You TRY to give them the best of everything but obviously you can't always give them everything, you just do what you can.

Also, congratulations on the baby. I hope your family comes around

wow i dont think it to young at all. im 25 have two kids, had my at 22 and my second at 23 so no bashing from me. good luck!

You can do it! It's hard, but certainly do-able. All you hear when you become unexpectedly pregnant are all the negatives, but motherhood is such a joy and a blessing. You'll be fine.

And regarding age -- I got pregnant (surprise) when I was 36, and everyone bashed on me about being too old. LOL There's just no winning with haters.

You'll solve the problems that come up -- that's what moms do. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. Being a mother is such an amazing thing! It will give your life new meaning and purpose and will strengthen you in ways you never imagined.

I was 24 when I had my son. 28 when I had my daughter. I live half way across the world from my family and my husband is supporting us on one job AND he's in school. We have a comfortable life.

I was 21 when I got pregnant. I graduated college at the end of my first trimester, and have a fantastic career and a pretty awesome 5 year old now!

People are going to judge anyone who is young and pregnant. When I was pregnant, I looked a LOT younger than I was (I still get carded for rated R movies every once in a while, and I'm 27!) and I got some NASTY looks from upper class women in the nicer part of town. It got so frustrating, but I knew deep down I was going to be a great mom, albeit unexpectedly.

My son's father was a piece of crap during the pregnancy, and after, and still is only a father when it's convenient for him. But it doesn't matter. I won't lie and say it's easy. Because it's definitely not easy being a young mom, but it sounds like your boyfriend is very supportive and that's HUGE. It takes some hard work and a real test of your patience, but you can do it! If you're worried about the financial aspect, there is assistance out there for single moms. I know you're not "single" but legally, you are, so you could probably get some temporary government assistance to keep you and your baby healthy and fed while you work toward your goals. I had to use Medicaid for my son and Food Stamps for us for about 6 months when I finally left my son's dad (he wouldn't allow me to have a job, as a means of controlling me) while I was getting on my feet. No shame in needing a little help sometimes.

As for your family not speaking to you, my father was SO ashamed when I told him I was pregnant (he was SUPER religious and suggested I get married immediately), but he came around. Even my son's grandparents on the other side, they didn't speak to us during my entire pregnancy, but once that baby came, they were overjoyed to be grandparents and completely changed their tune..

And finally, congratulations!!

Don't worry about what others say and VERY important to finish your education! Proud of you for not considering the alternative. A long time ago, I graduated high school, found out I was pregnant, got married and started college all with in 6 months. Took semester off to have the baby, caught up in summer school and finished college with the rest of my class in 4 years. Still married to the same man 30 years later and have had a great flexible career because of my education. I had my first child at 18 and my last one at age 38 (with 3 in between-1 birth and 2 adopted).Now my oldest is 29 and the youngest is 9. I went from being one of youngest moms at the elementary school to being asked if my youngest is my granddaughter :sad: . (Her teacher and some of her classmates' parents went to school with her big brother).

I will admit I had way more energy with the oldest child but working through MFP to get healthier to have the same energy for the younger ones.

It will not always be easy but it will be worth it - the child AND the education. If anyone offers to help, take them up on it. Family/church support is a great help. Good luck.

I had my son when I was 23. He is 8 years old now. I've been a single mother for 6 years of that time. It isn't easy, but it is totally worth it. I wouldn't trade my experience for the world.

You are where I was 9 years ago. I found out I was pregnant in February of my 2nd year of university. I had my beautiful baby boy, and left my boyfriend when my son was 6 months old. I did it on my own while finishing my last two years of university. I was able to get a spot in subsidized daycare during the day, tried to get all my courses to fit in that time, and worked a part time job during the day as well. IT IS HARD, but so absolutely rewarding when you finish for the day and your son looks at you like you are the baddest thing around.

Stick to your own, your friends and family will come around when they see you mean business and it is important to you.

Good for you.