Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

Why wouldn't you had let her pay?

For a multitude of reasons. It's what I was taught. It's my responsibility as a man. I don't want her to have to, or even feel like she has to. I want to show her (in a rather simplistic way) that I hold her above other girls who might be 'friends'.

The list certainly doesn't end there...and not one of those reasons on that list involves controlling her.

Please explain to me how not letting someone do something they would like to do not controlling.

Please explain to me how someone not letting me do something I want to do is not controlling.

I would say that in a mutually respectful relationship if there are two contradictory ideas, then some of the time one person would do want they wanted to do and some of the time the other would.

And I would say, that in a mutually respectful relationship, I would give on things that were very important to her, and she should give on things that are very important to me.

I still don't see which part of this is controlling.

What if it was important for her to pay?

Then she should probably move on and find a man more interested in showing her a complete lack of respect...because that man isn't me.

Simply put...if she can't comprehend and appreciate the fact that I am doing what I'm doing out of a desire to show her my respect and admiration, or at the least my acknowledgement of the fact that I appreciate her accepting (or even offering) to go out with me...she's NEVER going to get the fact that I'll open every door we go through (assuming my hands aren't full with children), open her car door before opening my own, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, take her place in front of a moving car...you know, things men are supposed to do for the women who have graced us with their love and attention.

At that point, as I said...it's best we simply part ways.

Agree that probably wouldn't be a good match.
However, allowing a woman to pay isn't really a sign of disrespect. Can a woman not show respect, admiration, love, and affection by paying for a dinner?

Actually...as you've seen in this thread, for the majority of society it surely is a sign of disrespect, and I agree with them.

As for a woman showing respect, admiration, love, and affection...respecting my need to provide for her in the form of paying for our 'dates' does all of those things and more. Again, if she is so independant that she has to send some sort of message just to express it, by paying for herself, or even for both of us...we're not going to work out well anyhow.

There are many ways, even financially...for a woman to show appreciation for a man, that don't take away from the societally accepted (and sometimes deeply ingrained) ways a man financially shows appreciation for a woman.

If a woman insists on paying for her part of the dinner, she's obviously wanting to control you by NOT letting you pay for the dinner.

How's that for a flip?

HA! Touche...I dig it.

If this was an accurate representation of society it doesn't make it right. (not sure if I consider an MFP forum to be an accurate representation of society)
A hundred years ago, most societies didn't allow women to vote; does that mean we shoud have continued that policy/law?

If a woman insists on paying for her part of the dinner, she's obviously wanting to control you by NOT letting you pay for the dinner.

How's that for a flip?

As I said earlier......

I would say that in a mutually respectful relationship if there are two contradictory ideas, then some of the time one person would do want they wanted to do and some of the time the other would.

We're not talking about a relationship. We're talking about the FIRST DATE.

If this was an accurate representation of society it doesn't make it right. (not sure if I consider an MFP forum to be an accurate representation of society)
A hundred years ago, most societies didn't allow women to vote; does that mean we shoud have continued that policy/law?

Hell yeah! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :happy: