Anyone else hate to be called "ma'am"?

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Replies

  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
    "Ma'am" has nothing to do with age, except it's really not used for children. Why would it make you feel old for people to be polite to you? That doesn't make any sense.

    I believe it does have something to do with age. Ma'am is equivalent to Madame, which I think would at least mean you're old enough to be married. Miss is equivalent to mademoiselle...a younger, unmarried woman, my interpretation anyway. However, I'm not offended by ma'am because I know it is said out of respect. Anyway, I'm way too old to be called miss. I think that would offend me.
  • ElizaGeorge
    ElizaGeorge Posts: 140 Member
    Nope! I'm 23 and I appreciate it. I was raised to call everyone "ma'am" and "sir". Well, anyone who is older than me or in a position of service or help to me (waitresses, bank tellers, cashiers) even if they're younger than me. It's a sign of respect for those around you as well as a show of appreciation for their help. I get told all the time not to call them that, but it's definitely a habit I want to keep!
  • pamiam1960
    pamiam1960 Posts: 2
    I am 51 and I usually hate it too, it makes me feel old! But in some instances its ok, like you said, its meant to be a sign of respect.:smile:
  • andrewinsuresal
    andrewinsuresal Posts: 70
    I hate being called ma'am...
  • shellebelle87
    shellebelle87 Posts: 291 Member
    ma'am doesn't bother me... its 'hun' I can't stand... especially from like a 16 yr old cashier

    I get cashiers doing that to my dad!! I just look at them like wtf? My dad hates it, he thinks it's stupid for a teenager to be calling him hun or darl
  • TrueBlueBruin78
    TrueBlueBruin78 Posts: 311 Member
    I call women who are older than i am, ma'am and gentlemen older than me sir. Just a form of respect. I was raised right :smile:
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
    Everyone I know over here in California HATES it! Since it always bothered my mom, I made it a point to notice when people first started calling me ma'am....I was 19, certainly not old. I just remember that I was called ma'am when I was 19, so it's not because they think I look old......
  • meka325
    meka325 Posts: 47
    I don't mind as being in customer service for a decade I call every stranger ma'am or sir out of habit, even people who I believe may be younger than me. However, like others have pointed out, I HATE being called "miss". If it was "Miss" followed by my name, that's fine, but just "miss" irks me to no end.
  • beach_please
    beach_please Posts: 533 Member
    I don't necessarily like being called "ma'am", but usually its some 16 or 17 year old kid at the grocery store that says it to me so I don't take it too personally.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    I do not like to be called ma'am. I realize that it's intended to be respectful but it makes me feel like I'm middle aged (I'm only 28). I'd rather be called "Ms"

    Any ladies feel the same way?

    Ma'am.

    It's a sign of respect, don't take it for anything it's not. You won't have problems with it then.
  • Jamie2007
    Jamie2007 Posts: 169
    It's funny how our perspective on this seems to change with age!! Not particularly 'like' it, but understand for the most part!
  • cannonsky
    cannonsky Posts: 850 Member
    yea it bums me out... even if they are saying it sarcastically
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    I live in the south. I'm confused if I go an entire day without being called "ma'am." At the store, at the gym, at a restaurant, wherever.

    I work for a beverage distributor, so we have a ton of warehouse guys and delivery drivers...I have NEVER had one of them (they are all male) ask me a question without either starting with "Excuse me, ma'am" or ending with "Thank you, ma'am." At work it's more of a hierarchy thing--the men whose positions are equal or superior to mine call me by name, but those who have positions below mine call me "ma'am." The women just call me by name; there are VERY few of us here anyway.

    I never really thought to get bothered by it, I've just always thought it was the polite way to address a woman who is a. your superior/elder or b. someone you don't know...

    ETA: I've taught my son to say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" (and "yes sir" or "no sir") right along with his pleases and thank yous!
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    Yeah, I hate it.

    Then again, I'm a guy, so I think I have a good reason for hating being called "ma'am". ;)

    In all seriousness, tt's a respectful term. Trouble is, everyone wants to be called a DIFFERENT respectful term and no one goes around with "HELLO, PLEASE ADDRESS ME AS" stickers on their shirts. I don't understand the offense at respectful terms. I see a woman who looks over 20 who I don't know, she's "ma'am" until she asks to be addressed differently. That's the way my momma raised me.

    It's like ladies getting offended when I hold the door for them - hey - I do it for guys, too. I'm not trying to belittle you or make some point that you can't open a door or disempower you or anything. I'm just trying to be the nice guy my mother tried so hard to raise. We'll probably never see each other again in our lifetimes, so you don't need to lecture me on sexist roles, OK?

    I'm starting to wonder if it's worth all this effort to try and be polite when so many people are offended by it.
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I hate it
  • Joneses17
    Joneses17 Posts: 135 Member
    I hate it. I'm only 27. I'll reserve that for when I pass 35. I'm from the north and live in the south so I realize that's what they say down here.
  • courtxoney
    courtxoney Posts: 59 Member
    yes!
    i'm only 21 and people call me ma'am all the time at work.
    (i don't even look old enough to be 21...) o.O
  • myfitnessnmhoy
    myfitnessnmhoy Posts: 2,105 Member
    I don't mind as being in customer service for a decade I call every stranger ma'am or sir out of habit, even people who I believe may be younger than me. However, like others have pointed out, I HATE being called "miss". If it was "Miss" followed by my name, that's fine, but just "miss" irks me to no end.
    I hate it. I'm only 27. I'll reserve that for when I pass 35. I'm from the north and live in the south so I realize that's what they say down here.

    ^^^ See, now here's the problem. (with apologies to the two individuals I chose largely at random).

    Two ladies much younger than myself, both of whom are obviously adult-aged, and one wants to be called using a younger title and is offended by an "older"-sounding one, and the other wants the title I was taught to use as a young'un back in the day and would get upset with the "younger" title.

    What's a 40+-year-old guy trying to be nice to a stranger he'll probably interact with once in his entire lifetime supposed to call you? "Ma'am" or "Miss"?

    My bias is to recognize you as an adult (in which case it's "ma'am" rather than risk being condescending by using "miss"). But, then, I've been slapped for holding doors for women (the men don't seem to mind), so that bias is starting to wane.

    Instead of focusing on how much you "hate" a particular form of respect, why not just recognize that it's a respectful form of address and appreciate the gesture for what it is - a perfect stranger trying to be nice the best way they know how?
  • asgard825
    asgard825 Posts: 1,516 Member
    I have been asked a number of times to refrain from using "Ma'am" -- It is used as a sign of respect tho :)
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,385 Member
    I have been asked a number of times to refrain from using "Ma'am" -- It is used as a sign of respect tho :)

    Kids these days! They don't get it. ;)
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I'm in the North and I use it all the time.

    I guess I never thought you ladies hated it so much.
    :ohwell:
  • foster59803
    foster59803 Posts: 439 Member
    ah, I like it.. It’s kind of sexy if it comes from a guy with a southern accent or wearing a military uniform!! :flowerforyou:
  • asgard825
    asgard825 Posts: 1,516 Member
    ah, I like it.. It’s kind of sexy if it comes from a guy with a southern accent or wearing a military uniform!! :flowerforyou:

    She gets it... :)
  • amurdaugh2010
    amurdaugh2010 Posts: 38 Member
    Well I'm not your pal, friend!
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
    omg really? it has nothing to do with age. it's a term of respect. get over it and take it for what it means. and btw, no word or phrase can make you feel old.
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
    "Ma'am" has nothing to do with age, except it's really not used for children. Why would it make you feel old for people to be polite to you? That doesn't make any sense.

    I believe it does have something to do with age. Ma'am is equivalent to Madame, which I think would at least mean you're old enough to be married. Miss is equivalent to mademoiselle...a younger, unmarried woman, my interpretation anyway. However, I'm not offended by ma'am because I know it is said out of respect. Anyway, I'm way too old to be called miss. I think that would offend me.
    It does not have anything to do with age! It is simply a term of respect.
  • tarynnmichelle
    tarynnmichelle Posts: 27 Member
    I would be offended if I WASN'T addressed as Ma'am! I am 26 and have been called ma'am since I was a small child and have not once been offended by it. Unless someone addressed me as "Hey Grandma", I would not feel old.. I would feel 26!


    Disclaimer- I live in Texas and we learn as soon as we start talking to say yes ma'am, no ma'am, yes sir and no sir.(and please and thank you.. often accompanied by ma'am/sir.) We call it " having manners."
  • SamanthaTheSpartan
    SamanthaTheSpartan Posts: 32
    I love it. I think it's sweet/polite. Then again, I am 19. If I was in my 30s or better, I'm not sure it would be the same story.
  • Mrsfullwood
    Mrsfullwood Posts: 172 Member
    I was raised by a very strict father who was a Marine. You addressed your elders as Ma'am or Sir or got slapped upside the head. I still do this even though I cringe when younger people call ma'am.

    I grew up in the South and my father was in the Army. It was always Sir and Ma'am.
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    I particularly like it when my boys friends call me ma'am, but mostly when they filter their potty mouths when I'm in the room...or when my boys filter their friends mouths when I'm in the room.

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