Things You Should Never Say On A First Date

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Replies

  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    wait a seacond i'll be ready

    young-man-gray_~k6781062.jpg
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    I remembered another classic one "You know I could have sex with you right now if I wanted to"

    Love it. Oh my word.....lol I was just waiting for you to parrot it back at me at which point I would say "Come on!"
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
    Girls should never say "I don't usually do this" and then hook up. Just do it and own it.

    I've had guys say that. :laugh:
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    "Let's see....you ordered the (insert item) so you owe (insert amount). Oh, and I have a buy one get one free coupon, so mine is free"

    First, congrats on the weight loss. You go! On the order...I'll have that to go.

    Thanks! I actually told him to order me another drink and I'd be right back from the bathroom. Ducked out the back door and got in my car to go home (I always do separate cars on a first date). Twenty minutes later he called and left me a nasty VM message ranting about how I was such a b#(%h for sticking him with the bill. I sent him a text telling him that real men who invite women out 1. pay, and 2. don't use coupons to stick her with the bill. Then I told him never to contact me again.

    The only coupon I ever use is this one. Have you ladies used yours lately? It has a expiration date on the back ya know >.<

    2s9rjfl.jpg

    I WANT TO KNOW YOU! What's Tontro? LOL
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    "So, do you have any single friends you could introduce me to?"

    Yep... a guy said this to me on our first and only date. *sigh*

    Yea, I do, do you know where San Quenton is? She doesn't get out much.
  • tom1834
    tom1834 Posts: 34
    Wow, you look nothing like your picture
    I know i used a picture of one of my friends
    Why ?
    I don't think I'm photogenic
    Well maybe you should start working out, it'll help build your confidence
    No i'm too busy working overtime at Royal Farms.
    So you're not a teacher?
    No I got fired for slapping one of those brats.

    Check please
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    Please don't mind the rope, trash bags, gag ball, and depends in the trunk . . . now, are you ready to go camping?

    OMG.....you pack just like my husband.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I wish you looked like me.
  • sirabe
    sirabe Posts: 294 Member
    " you are really pretty for a black girl"
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    I really like you. I need to see you every day! Grab your planner... Let's get this weekend scheduled.

    Clingy much.
  • redlion45
    redlion45 Posts: 155 Member
    "I made your drink *wink* extra special..."

    “I'm really into you, but I need to establish you’re disease-free… That's kind of a deal breaker.”

    "I love it here, it's so secluded.. You could scream and no one would hear you."

    "What are your thoughts on golden showers?"

    "How little is too little?"

    WE HAVE A WINNER! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    " you are really pretty for a black girl"

    So when did you decide to go black?

    LOVE YOU!
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    For a while after Boogie Nights came out I got asked if I had a big d#ck. Happened on at least one date and at some parties. I swear, drunk 20 something girls will ask a guy anything.

    Dirk
  • melbaby925
    melbaby925 Posts: 613
    Date: "I have to be home by 9."
    Me: "You have to work tomorrow?"
    Date: "No, I don't want to violate."

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Omg! Awesome!

    Recently, I got: We're divorced, but still live together for financial reasons. Can we just hang out at your place?

    Could not run away fast enough!
  • AbysmalFitness
    AbysmalFitness Posts: 32 Member
    "Wow you're look different to how you sounded on the phone...." So who were you expecting? Denzel Washington and instead got James Earl Jones looool :explode:
  • Mina133842
    Mina133842 Posts: 1,573 Member
    okay - so he knew I was new in town (small town) and I was working at a store with a smock - not very becoming...

    him: driving the car "do you know where you are?"
    me: "not really, why? are we lost?"
    him: "I'm not lost, I was just trying to see if you could figure out where I was taking you."......

    the road was very windy, and secluded...think.....X-Files alien abduction about to happen... never been so nervous in my life!

    later at the restaurant: "you know, I'm really glad I asked you out, your rack is really nice."

    worse yet: "my brother really likes you too, I think."

    please let me off at the next stop, I think I'd prefer the alien abduction at this point....did I mention this date took place in the great state of Montana? Most guys there are great, and not weird, but this one....I get the ONE weird one obsessed with my "rack."
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    Date: "I have to be home by 9."
    Me: "You have to work tomorrow?"
    Date: "No, I don't want to violate."

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Omg! Awesome!

    Recently, I got: We're divorced, but still live together for financial reasons. Can we just hang out at your place?

    Could not run away fast enough!

    Butt Butt....what I meant was (again, you need to see the profile photo0)...Awesome, what!
  • DebG2006
    DebG2006 Posts: 22 Member
    Guy: My balls are the size of kiwis
    Me: Is that supposed to turn me on?
    (he sat there with no response)
    Me: Cause it doesn't
    Still to this day I can't look at kiwis without laughing and being grosssed out.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Oh, the banging form the trunk? That's just my date from earlier, don't worry you'll meet her shortly.
  • weightloss12345678
    weightloss12345678 Posts: 377 Member
    Spit or Swallow...lol

    wow lol
  • kdavis82508
    kdavis82508 Posts: 24 Member
    Don't worry I'm like Allstate, your in good hands
  • joytron
    joytron Posts: 103 Member
    "You think I'm just another perverted salaryman, DON'T you."

    After dragging me into a shop because they were giving out FREE PORN. Le sigh.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
    Waiter comes to your table and informs you and your date, that for today only the restaurant is offering 1/2 price discounts to anyone in the nursing field. Date says " oou, you're a nurse..tell them..gimme a chance to get some of my money back!"

    Never, ever, ever do this!!!

    On a first date..or the 1000th date.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Guy: My balls are the size of kiwis
    Me: Is that supposed to turn me on?
    (he sat there with no response)
    Me: Cause it doesn't
    Still to this day I can't look at kiwis without laughing and being grosssed out.


    mmmmm....kiwis
  • sexycheesemonkey
    sexycheesemonkey Posts: 196 Member
    Wasn't a first date...but was a pick up line.
    I was working at the mall and was sitting in the food court on my break eating lunch...Guy who is drinking his soda at the table across from me, stops and looks at me all 'seductive' or at least what he though was seductive...and licks the straw a bit before saying
    "I wanna suck YOU through a straw...mmmm"

    I was 16..and the guy was definitely much older...omg...I was so baffled and confused that I RAN to the bathroom and called my mom (who was in the mall at the time getting her hair done)...oh boy did she let him have it...so did the cops when they showed up...

    ei0004552_xlarge.jpg
    the face was something like this...
  • jaxandmaksmom
    jaxandmaksmom Posts: 262 Member
    my male best friend got

    so on my iphone i have this great app for my ovulation calender


    RED FLAG RUNNNNNN


    i got.. wow my "D**k would look great inbetween your tits... "
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    Guy: My balls are the size of kiwis
    Me: Is that supposed to turn me on?
    (he sat there with no response)
    Me: Cause it doesn't
    Still to this day I can't look at kiwis without laughing and being grosssed out.


    mmmmm....kiwis

    I always have kiwis on hand... (combining two of the above lines - one from another quoter) .. Are you an AllState representative? Will I be in good hands?
  • coconutbuNZ
    coconutbuNZ Posts: 578 Member
    This is my WORST date.
    We meet for coffee. I suggest Starbucks. He says "But their coffee is so expensive!"

    That was the first sign.

    So I see this takeaway place selling coffee for a dollar. I said to him "how about this one? Coffee only a dollar"

    "Sure" he says.

    He goes to the counter to order our coffees and then he turns around, puts his hand out and says "So, have you got a dollar?"

    He made me feel so frkn CHEAP!

    LOL
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Guy: My balls are the size of kiwis
    Me: Is that supposed to turn me on?
    (he sat there with no response)
    Me: Cause it doesn't
    Still to this day I can't look at kiwis without laughing and being grosssed out.


    mmmmm....kiwis

    I always have kiwis on hand... (combining two of the above lines - one from another quoter) .. Are you an AllState representative? Will I be in good hands?

    Lol!! Why yes, I am quite handy with kiwis!
  • texastango
    texastango Posts: 309
    Waiter comes to your table and informs you and your date, that for today only the restaurant is offering 1/2 price discounts to anyone in the nursing field. Date says " oou, you're a nurse..tell them..gimme a chance to get some of my money back!"
    Never, ever, ever do this!! On a first date..or the 1000th date.

    If you're on your 1000th date with this guy (or any other for that matter) I would hope you'd take the opportunity and the "Change" (if you catch my drift). LOL
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