Teenaged Girls Fashion

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  • D446
    D446 Posts: 267 Member
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    See, I think you are being way too harsh. She is 16, not 12. I think you need to have a little faith in your daughter, why don't you want her wearing shoes that are an inch higher then allowed?!

    When I was a teenager, I made my own decisions about my clothes, my mother wouldn't even dream of asking me to send her a picture before I bought it. In saying that, I was brought up to know what was appropriate and what wasn't. I am assuming that you have brought your daughter up this way too, so I think a little bit of freedom here would help.
  • Italian_Buju
    Italian_Buju Posts: 8,030 Member
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    See, I think you are being way too harsh. She is 16, not 12. I think you need to have a little faith in your daughter, why don't you want her wearing shoes that are an inch higher then allowed?!

    When I was a teenager, I made my own decisions about my clothes, my mother wouldn't even dream of asking me to send her a picture before I bought it. In saying that, I was brought up to know what was appropriate and what wasn't. I am assuming that you have brought your daughter up this way too, so I think a little bit of freedom here would help.


    The second part of that is actually were the problem lays, I think.....I did not adopt her until she was 10 years old, and her birth mother had questionable morals at best....so there are many times when I think something is just insane, or wrong, or just plain ridiculous and she cannot understand for the life of her what the problem is.....my son, whom I gave birth to, and was raised from day one by me, has my morals, so I do not need to police him nearly as much.....I have to say, that is the most challenging thing about having a child you did not raise from day one.....
  • EmilyTwist1
    EmilyTwist1 Posts: 206 Member
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    To those wondering what the big deal is about heels.... Once you get to 5 in and above, those shoes aren't made for walking. Shoes of that height tend to be most commonly seen on fashion runways (with all the body image issues that come with that) and porn. Many people associate very high heels with porn and sex. Because of that, I think it's totally understandable for a mother to not want her 16 year old daughter wearing them.

    I am not a parent, however, I would be just as concerned about the damage heels of that height could cause to one's legs and feet. I would probably let her wear them for one event, or perhaps for a day around the house, and then ask her how her feet feel. There's a good chance that she would be in so much pain that she wouldn't want to wear heels again.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
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    I am a 37 yo mother of a 12 yo girl who likes to raid my closet and steal my shoes (I am a shoe wh0re). That being said, she NEVER gets to wear my stillettos out of the house...EVER. Here's the thing though, I have several 5 inch heels that are not slutty or too pointy. If she were 16 and could manage to wear them without killing herself, I'd probably let her just to prove the point that there is no way in heck she will be able to walk for a few days after.

    I am curious what they look like....if they are fire-engine red stillettos you probably are right to be upset. If they are a thicker heel though and a modest color, I'd have to pose the argument that it is difficult to find heels under 5 inches right now. The dress is modest, so let her wear the heels. I almost guarantee that she'll only wear them once....and get her some of those purse slippers that you can get. She'll absolutely need them...especially if she is going to a dance. Those shoes are not going to last for long.
  • xlolitabandita
    xlolitabandita Posts: 242
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    I'm 22, so I was a teenager not that long ago....I get what you're saying, I always hated the way other girls at school dressed, I found it digusting. However, my parents let me have total freedom of how I dressed, and yeah i had pink hair and piercings, but I kept myself covered....I didn't ever show cleavage or wear short skirts. I think maybe having the freedom to choose made me more likely to make better choices. maybe make a compromise, like she wears some really nice dress pant, a really dressy shirt and the high heels.....Something like that. I think picking your battles is very important....Give her a little leeway and maybe she won't end up doing drugs or making decesions with sex that she regrets later...Just my opinion, as someone who was given a lot of freedom in high school and waited to be in college to have sex, waited until she was 21 to have her first drink, and has never ever tried drugs.
  • ksavy
    ksavy Posts: 271 Member
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    Shoes are shoes. She will learn her lesson after trying to dance in them if she is not used to them. Like another poster said, sometimes it is hard to find nice dress shoes that have less than a 4-5 inch heel on them. If the dress is long, I don't really see why it would be an issue.

    From the way you are reacting, I would say that you are way over protective and I had friends with parents like that when I was her age, and they would just change clothes when they got away from home to wear what they wanted. You sound like you need to have a talk (not over Facebook or when she is at a friends) about what you feel is appropriate and why and maybe come to some compromises.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    This exactly....it's all about picking your battles and you need to be really selective at that age. You need to make sure you're leaving them with their confidence, self-esteem and the feeling that you trust them to make good choices when you're not around. Raising children is sooooo hard. Ohhhh the memories haha

    Definitely!
    On facebook, yes we are friends, I do not think I would allow my kids to have a closed facebook account with me on it....however, I posted the status with custom settings, which will not allow anyone under 18 to see the post, so none of her friends would have saw it....

    Just because you do that, doesn't mean someone like a parent's friend or a relative can't tell your daughter "guess what your mom said about you on facebook" or even inadvertently make a comment not realizing your daughter didn't see the post. Again, I'd be humiliated if I found out my mom was posting stuff like that on FB behind my back. That would be a quick way to tear down your relationship with her and cause her to rebel.

    So just because she can't see it doesn't mean she won't hear about it.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Not a parent and definitely don't want to get in the middle of a topic thats getting hotter and hotter by every post but heres my PoV as a 28 years old MALE who have young nieces

    Some of the things that girls (specially the teenage girls) wear puts the certain type of girls who are involved in the oldest profession know to humanity to shame. Now, I can understand (again, coming from a young male) if you wanna wear something sexy to a night club or something but these underage girls shouldn't be there and these girls are wearing ultra short dresses with these stripper shoes to malls and everything...? I just don't get it. As a man, I would be caught dead before I see my 16 years old daughter wear something like the stuff I see on these girls.

    Feel free to flame on about how conservative/prude my mentality is. I just wanted to say my peace
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    Okay, just one more comment I have to say.

    I saw on the other thread about pot that you smoke marijuana. Okay, so it's fine for you to do something illegal but your daughter can't wear a pair of heels that will most likely kill her feet after an hour and regret buying?

    It's a little pot calling the kettle black if you ask me. ;)
  • camila_scl
    camila_scl Posts: 238 Member
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    Slutty shoes are slutty shoes no matter how the big the heel is. The heels could be 2 inches and could look like stripper shoes anyway.

    I can't say much without seeing the shoes, but I think you have to see the whole look. High heels with a great dress and something to cover up your shoulders/breasts doesn't seem innapropiate for me, but without seeing her look I couldn't say if they are age-apropiate or not.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    i read this and decided not to reiterate hat others have said

    then read the mary jane post


    your daughter is 16 and should be allowed to wear whatever she wants, especially with a "pothead" for a mom. your words, not mine.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    i read this and decided not to reiterate hat others have said

    then read the mary jane post


    your daughter is 16 and should be allowed to wear whatever she wants, especially with a "pothead" for a mom. your words, not mine.

    Was just thinking that lol.
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
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    Honestly, I think you're setting her up for CRAZY out of the house action. She's going to be boobs, stillettos, legs, and midriff madness.

    I'm glad boobs were a way of life in my family. I would have gone TOPLESS all day long from 18+ if I couldn't show my cleavage at 16. There's a difference between dressing hookerishly and learning to dress like a woman- you don't learn that awesome lesson by restriction. I spent 16 and 17 making the woman I was going to be. The one who cooks fantastically, the one who only shows boobs or legs, but never both at the same time, and the one who had enough experience talking and being out with boys that I never fell for one giving backhanded compliments or other The Game type crap.

    Obviously, it's good to be a part of her closet - but be a gentle part. Already by having a caring and interested parent she's above most of the game... but managing the small bits can lead to a wholelottarebellion.

    Just my opinion.
  • mgnmsn
    mgnmsn Posts: 133 Member
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    I am twenty, buy I definitely agree that girls dress so inappropriately for their age. Even when I was in high school, I would still look at them and wonder who let them dress like that. To each their own though.
  • Romans624
    Romans624 Posts: 822
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    I see where you're coming from, not wanting your daughter to dress inappropriately, But after that story about her dress you got upset about her shoes? Sorry, but it just hit me odd that you obviously found her dress acceptable, but not the shoes.

    My daughter is 14 and I let her wear wedge shoes up to 2 inches. She's also a very good student has awesome manners, and is thoughtful of and helpful to others, so I pick my battles.

    This is what I was thinking. I mean, yeah I guess some heels can "sex up" an outfit in a way that draws attention. But I was thinking you were going to say she had a ton of cleavage showing. Personally (I'm 25). I wouldn't have a problem with any kind of shoes on my daughter as long as they weren't a walking hazard. But if she's wearing some really revealing or tight outfit the shoes can definitely be part of the sexual allure she is trying to create. I would still focus on the other more obvious sexualized components of the outfit though and not the shoes. And I understand that teenagers often don't think that its not just the cute guy they like that is "thinking" about them, but the skeevy old guy that is a neighbor or at the gas station. Sure they know old men check them out, but really it can be dangerous (personal experience). It can make them more susceptible to predators. It can lead married or older men to start lusting after them (ew) - not sure if that is part of what you are thinking.

    Having said all that, I never really pushed for heels when I was in my teens because my feet suck and heels make my feet hurt.

    EDIT; I do agree that teen fashion is very sexualized and I wouldn't want my daughter walking around like that every day(when if I have one). It should be for a special serious boyfriend or (preferred), future husband.
  • D446
    D446 Posts: 267 Member
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    See, I think you are being way too harsh. She is 16, not 12. I think you need to have a little faith in your daughter, why don't you want her wearing shoes that are an inch higher then allowed?!

    When I was a teenager, I made my own decisions about my clothes, my mother wouldn't even dream of asking me to send her a picture before I bought it. In saying that, I was brought up to know what was appropriate and what wasn't. I am assuming that you have brought your daughter up this way too, so I think a little bit of freedom here would help.


    The second part of that is actually were the problem lays, I think.....I did not adopt her until she was 10 years old, and her birth mother had questionable morals at best....so there are many times when I think something is just insane, or wrong, or just plain ridiculous and she cannot understand for the life of her what the problem is.....my son, whom I gave birth to, and was raised from day one by me, has my morals, so I do not need to police him nearly as much.....I have to say, that is the most challenging thing about having a child you did not raise from day one.....

    Okay, this is a little bit different. I still think that you do need to trust in her a little bit, and I still think 5 inch heels are okay... I would explain to her, that her perception on things are different to yours because she grew up in a different home.And that you want to trust in her decision making, so of she can show you that you can trust her, then you will loosen up a bit.
  • Bagman12002
    Bagman12002 Posts: 216 Member
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    Ok from a Dad's POV. Oh Hell no way my daughter(15) dress like a hooker under my roof. Once she moves out then she can do what ever. That said we have try'd to keep in mind how other girls her age are dressing so we try to let her have some freedom but there are rules for it but 5" heels sorry not going to happen dress has to be between the knee and finger tips and make up need be none slutty.:smile:
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
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    I do think some people need to step in with some of the outfits I see young kids (between 8 - 18) wear but I feel like you maybe a little over the top.

    I don't have kids and I am pretty thankful I don't when I read some of the posts on here but, I grew up in a house hold where i was able to make all my own choices in regards to clothes, shoes, make up etc. My mother had rules- no *kitten*/boobs hanging out but other than that the door was pretty wide open.

    I do feel that by allowing me to dress the way I wanted I learned a lot, at 16 I knew what I was or was not comfortable with. This is of course just my opinion but I feel like you may be setting your daughter up to rebel... and rebel hard against you when she leave home (I had a friend that turned into an absolute skank when she left home) and that was horrible.

    I really do not think 5 inch heels should be a concern... I have seen slutty shoes with minimal heals - hell I have a pair of wedges that have been called hooker shoes...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,579 Member
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    My DD is 7 right now. Before this comes up, I'll just make sure she's a tomboy.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer/Group Fitness Instructor
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    My DD is 7 right now. Before this comes up, I'll just make sure she's a tomboy.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer/Group Fitness Instructor
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I can always rely on you to give the perfect advice good sir!

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