Teenaged Girls Fashion

I just learned a good rule for heels from the Miss USA pageant. When wearing heels, stand with your knees straight and try to lift your heels off the ground. If you can lift them at least one inch, they are not too high. If you can't lift them an inch, they are too high.

This rule is so that heels don't cause too much physical damage to the back and joints. Wearing heels that are too high will cause improper posture and stride while walking.

As the mother of a 19 year old daughter, I taught my daughter the same values about how to dress at that age. I know, my daughter would not have been allowed to buy the shoes without my approval first, after all it is my money. She could go "shopping" for dresses and shoes with her friends, but she could not buy anything without me seeing it first.

As far as the shoes, I would have told my daughter, if you can PROPERLY walk in them, then you can wear them, with 5" heels, that would not have been possible. One of my biggest pet peeves is girls who wear too high of a heel and don't know how to walk in them, they look foolish.

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/strict-parenting

All I can say is BE CAREFUL.

My mother was a lot like you when I was growing up, and I was a wonderful child that listened to every bit of advice she had on my life. Until I decided I had enough and picked up and moved over 3000 miles away with some idiot I met online, without even mentioning it to her, I literally disappeared and my parents had no idea where I went.

Just please, don't be too overbearing, it can cause her to snap when she finally gets sick of it.

I bet that went super well.... ha!

By the way, way to be ungrateful to your parents and leave without giving them notice, I bet they were terrified and so worried about you. Or maybe after reading this maybe they were relieved you left? Who knows?

Oh god trust me, I've regretted that stupid choice for the last 8 years of my life. I had never done anything like that in my life and still do this day can't figure out why I did. I was a stupid 16 year old child, that's the only reasoning behind it I can find.

Terrified would be an understatement, I'm the only child, and I'm also adopted. My mother and I have one of the greatest relationships ever since that horrible choice, (years later.). But my point was that if you keep stressing your child and continue to be that overbearing most kids are going to snap and do something stupid.

I was wearing 5 inch heels at 14. I see nothing wrong with the size of the heel so long as they can walk, so long as the shoe itself is appropriate. But then, at 16 I was in college and parents don't really have any say over their childs dress sense when the child is working, buying their own clothes with their own money and in college. I think what pre-teens wear these days is disgusting, but as a teen, they kind of need to experiment under parental supervision. I experimented as a teen. I wore hotpants and bikini tops in the summer, mini dresses, I even went through a stage at one point of wearing lycra...skin tight, and I have a pair of pole dancing shoes upstairs. Now they are high. But, I experimented under my mums roof and as such I was protected from the majority of the backlash. My sister didn't start experimenting until she was 20 and going to night clubs and fully developed. Now I dress well, and I'm respected on first glance, my sister looks like a hooker. As kids I looked risque and my sister looked conservative. When we were teens we had parental pressure, no we're not going home with that stranger, no we're not walking down the gennel alone at night, we're going in a group, that and we were teens, we didn't have the confidence for solo acts, it was always a group of us. We were safer to experiment. Now we're adults, we have the confidence, no curfew, no rules but what we set ourselves...I learned as a teen that the wrong sort of clothes attract the wrong sort of attention, my sister didn't. She does accept drinks off strangers, she does stay out till 3am in those clothes, she does go home with strangers, thinking she's safe.

IMHO it's better to let a teen experiment in the final years you have control over them, than hold them back so they experiment without your rules to keep them safe. This, of course, applies to families where the parent/child relationship is strong, otherwise you're asking for trouble.

These are wedges? Significantly easier to wear, more modest and more comfortable than any other heels. For a 5, I would say 5 inches are standard. Let her wear them!

Choose your battles...shoes ? come on! Chances are she will wear them
once or twice for a little while and realize how uncomfortable they are.
i agree you should lighten up a little

I think it just depends on the shoes. I know that the style is those high wedges, I think they look a little stupid watching the girls walk around in them, but it does seem like that is the style. If they are stripper shoes, then no, she should not wear them.

I grew up with a VERY strict mom. She had me as a teenager and wanted to make sure that I did not follow in her foot steps. I always understood that, but I got angry because I got in MAJOR trouble for minor things. While other girls could talk to their moms about teenage girl problems, I could not because my mom would freak out and over react. So, I told her nothing. Now, I did not break her rules about how I should dress or how I behaved, but it would have been nice to have had a mom that could relate a little more...not be my friend...but to guide me through my teenage girl journey. Since I have a big butt (not large breasts) I had to wear super baggy jeans to cover up my butt (so tough to do during the tight Gloria Vanderbilt jeans day). I had to wear one pieces and finally, she allowed me to wear a 2 piece, but no string bikinis. I was the last girl to wear makeup and the last girl to shave her legs. I had to ask permission to stay out past 10:30 pm (my curfew) the night before my wedding...I was 20 years old. Now, I never rebelled and I did get married at 20 and we now have 6 kids...but again, it would have been nice to have had a mom that was not so strict. It took a year of marriage to break the fear of the phone ringing...because while growing up, anytime the phone rang, it was my mom checking up on me or me getting in trouble for something that I did not know what I did.

Right now my teenagers are all boys, the only girl is 2. But, I will raise her the way that I raised my boys. We have been strict on a lot of things, but on things that I feel that I do not have to be so tight on, we have a little "give". My point is, your daughter bought a conservative dress and a sweater to cover up her arms and back...if the shoes are not stripper shoes, maybe give her some freedom on the shoes. There are so many larger problems and issues to deal with than shoes. And, if you are questioning her morals over her 5" shoes...what about when she needs to talk to you because a boys wants to kiss her. Or a boy tried to touch her breast...is she going to feel comfortable telling you these things?

I do not know the relationship you have with her. And I am sure that a daughter/mom relationship is totally different than a son/mother relationship. But, we try to pick our battles. It is tough to find that right balance of being too slack and being too strict.


Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you the perspective of the child growing up in a very strict home....it can be overwhelming at times.

I am not asking for approval....reading through these posts, I almost feel like nobody actually read the OP I made......I said right off the bat, I am not changing my mind, those are my rules, I just wanted to hear from parents that let their children do that, and why, and do hear from parents that don`t killing the myth that I am the ONLY one....that is all I said!! It seems like no one actually read it.....

I think that most of the parents are saying that they would not have a problem with the shoes, because they feel that it is tough for shoes to be inappropriate.

Or just show her this picture and remind her that she will be applying 500-800lbs of pressure on the balls of her feet by wear high heels.

My son is 12 and the girls in his class are wearing all kinds of stuff. Personally I think by forbidding it you just make it worse, so I am quite permissive, also with regard to bedtimes etc. As regards the heels - they are only shoes, she will learn that they are uncomfortable.

I think your rules for shorts and midriff are a bit unfair. She is only young once and if she has a nice body she should be able to wear clothes that show that. I also don't believe that clothes make you slutty - that happens because of a whole different set of stuff including lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

IMO its more important to deal with the things that really matter rather than stuff like clothing which by and large is not really important - you want kids to remember you for how easy you are to talk to as a parent not for how strict you were with their clothing. It's a fine line.

Just read and answered your initial question and not the rest of the thread so may be repeating what others have said.

My son is 12 and the girls in his class are wearing all kinds of stuff. Personally I think by forbidding it you just make it worse, so I am quite permissive, also with regard to bedtimes etc. As regards the heels - they are only shoes, she will learn that they are uncomfortable.

I think your rules for shorts and midriff are a bit unfair. She is only young once and if she has a nice body she should be able to wear clothes that show that. I also don't believe that clothes make you slutty - that happens because of a whole different set of stuff including lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

IMO its more important to deal with the things that really matter rather than stuff like clothing which by and large is not really important - you want kids to remember you for how easy you are to talk to as a parent not for how strict you were with their clothing. It's a fine line.

Just read and answered your initial question and not the rest of the thread so may be repeating what others have said.

Word.

No I wouldn't let her wear heels, and I am so glad I had boys!

I got my first pair of wedges when I was 8 years old.

I owned 5-inch heels at 14.

Did I look like a stripper? No. Did I act like a stripper? Absolutely not.

At 16, should she be allowed to choose her own clothes without 32908490324 rules from her mother? Probably.

At that age it's all about fitting in. My mother still doesn't agree with everything I wear but she won't forbid me from owning things she personally doesn't like. If in 5 years I look back and say "what was I thinking!?" then so be it, I learned a lesson, awesome.

I mean, provided that the shoes aren't those lucite platforms that strippers actually do wear, it sounds like your daughter has a modest dress, with some fun heels, for a fun event. It's not something to really get all in a knot over....they're just shoes.