Why can't I enjoy men looking at me??

mcourtney09
mcourtney09 Posts: 34 Member
in Success Stories
So I went out last Friday with my husband and I wore a sexy little dress that 30lbs ago I never would have DREAMED of wearing. My husband was loving how sexy I was looking and apparently some other men in the bars and clubs were too :)

I got some comments that I LOVED because I never got that attention before in my life....and my husband liked how his HOT wife was getting all those appreciative stares.

Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

I was quite PEED! I was excited because I was getting attention that I had always felt jealous of in college. I'm not acting on anything...I am just feeling good about myself for ONCE in my life.

I had to vent this...but has anyone else received any negative comments about how good you feel about yourself and how you are ENJOYING attention?....aren't we supposed to take pride in what we've worked so hard for??
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Replies

  • lalapurple62
    lalapurple62 Posts: 42
    Pffft who cares what your trainer thinks, he is your TRAINER not your counsellor, if your hubby is happy and your happy thats what matters. Talk to your girlfriends and you hubby and let your trainer train you lol
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    He's wrong. Forget what he said. If you felt good and your husband was fine with it- forget what your trainer says.
  • happythermia
    happythermia Posts: 374
    Sounds like your trainer is kind of an a-hole! Maybe s/he was having a bad day or something?

    You've worked hard to get to where you are - so you should be proud! Whether that comes from more attention or whatever else.

    You rock! Keep it up, and ignore the haters :D
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    I don't have that happening, so I envy you!

    Why shouldn't you enjoy it?! You worked and earned it! Who the hell is your trainer to say such a thing?! If your hubby had issues with it, that'd be one thing. I think I'd be putting the trainer in his place and tell him to stick to his job and not patrolling what happens.

    Congrats on doing so well!!
  • monstergirl14
    monstergirl14 Posts: 345 Member
    So I went out last Friday with my husband and I wore a sexy little dress that 30lbs ago I never would have DREAMED of wearing. My husband was loving how sexy I was looking and apparently some other men in the bars and clubs were too :)

    I got some comments that I LOVED because I never got that attention before in my life....and my husband liked how his HOT wife was getting all those appreciative stares.

    Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

    I was quite PEED! I was excited because I was getting attention that I had always felt jealous of in college. I'm not acting on anything...I am just feeling good about myself for ONCE in my life.

    I had to vent this...but has anyone else received any negative comments about how good you feel about yourself and how you are ENJOYING attention?....aren't we supposed to take pride in what we've worked so hard for??

    Your trainer is a dumbass.
  • blg5
    blg5 Posts: 89 Member
    sounds like you hit a sore spot with him. He probably had a girlfriend who was hot and she left him for someone else.
  • mcourtney09
    mcourtney09 Posts: 34 Member
    Your trainer is a dumbass.

    Love this! You've made me smile :)
  • jasper186
    jasper186 Posts: 134 Member
    Enjoy the attention...you have feakin well earned it. Find a new trainer he is an jerk who doesn't deserve your time!:angry: He should be a source on encouragement not a negative in your life!
  • MonkeyFlower
    MonkeyFlower Posts: 92 Member
    yup as other posters have said, your trainer is an idiot! you go out there and enjoy yourself...of course its awesome to loose weight to be healthy but hell its also nice to be able to feel attractive and sexy...and for other people to notice! you go!!!
  • focus4fitness
    focus4fitness Posts: 551 Member
    Even your husband seemed to enjoy the attention you were getting. Your trainer probably has jealousy issues of his/her own.
  • mcourtney09
    mcourtney09 Posts: 34 Member
    Thanks girls for the comments :)

    Have you ever any had any "haters"?
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    you are married, not dead! As long as your hubby has no problem with the way the guys are looking at you, and you have no problem...there ISN'T a problem.

    I've been with my husband for 17 years...he notices pretty women, comments about them sometimes, then comes home to me. I notice nice looking guys, I appreciate them, then I go home to hubby. As long as you look and don't touch, I don't see the issue.
  • jasper186
    jasper186 Posts: 134 Member
    At the risk of sounding stupid....what do you mean by haters?
  • mcourtney09
    mcourtney09 Posts: 34 Member
    At the risk of sounding stupid....what do you mean by haters?

    People who instead of congratulating you or just giving good vibes of your success send out bad vibes or signs of jealousy. They are "hating" on your success.
  • trybabytry
    trybabytry Posts: 181
    Ugh, he sounds like a bit of an *kitten*. Get a female trainer who will high-five you and say YEAH GIRL when you tell her stuff like that!
  • jasper186
    jasper186 Posts: 134 Member
    Yes, yes, yes.....I love these people. It makes me believe that what I see and feel is real, not just my image of myself. If you are causing these insecure, petty people that much discomfort by how you look, celebrate. You are doing something right. Keep doing what is working for you and only you. Screw them!
  • ProjectTae
    ProjectTae Posts: 434 Member
    Wow your trainer said that to you? I don't know what kind of relationship you have but that seems very unprofessional in my opinion, I'd start looking for another. And congrats on your NSV! I'd definitely enjoy it, you worked hard for it! And as for haters other than people telling me 'you don't need to lose' none here.
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
    He's wrong. Forget what he said. If you felt good and your husband was fine with it- forget what your trainer says.

    Exactly this.....Jerk Trainer. Not his/her place to comment
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,702 Member
    Pffft who cares what your trainer thinks, he is your TRAINER not your counsellor, if your hubby is happy and your happy thats what matters. Talk to your girlfriends and you hubby and let your trainer train you lol

    this!!!!!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,282 Member
    he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

    Maybe he's jealous. :wink:
  • boldtsmith
    boldtsmith Posts: 120 Member
    My plumber said I should invest with Bernie Madoff...

    Your trainer should stick to training.
  • Nteeter
    Nteeter Posts: 190 Member
    From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

    From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut :)

    just sayin :)
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
    Wow, you're trainer is a jerk. Revel in the attention! You earned it. It is a great feeling. Being a little full of yourself beats feeling insecure or self-conscious about how you look. I thought your post was going to saying you didn't enjoy it. I think it's great that your husband is enjoying it, too!
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
    he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

    Maybe he's jealous. :wink:

    I also had that thought!
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    wow I can't even imagine where that would have come from. It's kinda hard to not enjoy being complimented. I could maybe see your husband saying or thinking that, but your trainer??
  • johnm8703
    johnm8703 Posts: 118 Member
    From a guys perspective he may be jealous.

    From a former fatty perspective he may have came across wrong but he may have been trying to say "dont let comments like those stop you from continueing". After I lost a hundred pounds alot of people told me I looked great and for about a week I considered stopping, but I havent reached my goal so I put my head down and got back in it. Ive learned to appreciate those comments but be humble, once I reach my goal then I will brag and strut :)

    just sayin :)


    ^^^^^^ Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner!!!

    Congrats on your loss and your NSV! But I can all but GAURANTEE that your trainer was trying to get you to be Peed and not be complacent. As your trainer part of his job is to motivate you...right? Maybe he knew you would get PEED and bring it even harder!
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    Get a new trainer
  • Mirdir
    Mirdir Posts: 39 Member
    If your trainer is a guy maybe he has the hots for you and is jealous about all the attention your getting ;)
  • Miss_Suzylee
    Miss_Suzylee Posts: 26
    not to be a joy kill-cause i do agree his comments were kind of a-holeish, but i know someone who is a trainer and i often hear how frustrating it is to train people who are obviously in it for the wrong reasons. so while i dont think he should have said anything to you or should have been that blunt about it-maybe it just hit a sore spot with him because he wants you to do it for YOU and not for other people's approval. it would be an over-reaction on his part....but it's an idea. just so you don't think it was entirely about you, perhaps it just comes with the trainer territory.
  • dvisser1
    dvisser1 Posts: 788 Member
    Your trainer sounds like a an *kitten*. You have every right to take pride in what you have accomplished and enjoy the attention. You've earned it, and you do look very good!

    If his intent was to try to say don't stop working out because of the new found attention, I can agree with the intent. But I feel like I might be giving the guy to much credit here.

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