Why can't I enjoy men looking at me??

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  • knk1553
    knk1553 Posts: 438 Member
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    So I can see both sides, I can see why he said what he said, but at the same time he didn't say it in the best manner possible. However, I know when I had my trainer (super nice guy, but he wasn't doing what he was supposed to be doing and the gym was highly disappointing so I got rid of him) and we discussed why I wanted to get training, I told him my motivation to get in shape is to turn heads, its that simple, I'm healthy and a normal weight without much effort, but I want to turn heads and cause jaws to drop, so thats why I needed a trainer, but he did know that from the start. I may be a shallow person, but thats every time I don't want to work out what I think about and it motivates me, so I say whatever works for you, if its turning heads, then take the compliments and use them to better yourself
  • chapparra27
    chapparra27 Posts: 115 Member
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    So I went out last Friday with my husband and I wore a sexy little dress that 30lbs ago I never would have DREAMED of wearing. My husband was loving how sexy I was looking and apparently some other men in the bars and clubs were too :)

    I got some comments that I LOVED because I never got that attention before in my life....and my husband liked how his HOT wife was getting all those appreciative stares.

    Today I was talking to my trainer about it and how it made me feel good and he said it was wrong that I was excited and happy about those remarks and stares and that he doesn't want me to get too full of myself and that I shouldn't be working out so that I get attention from men...I'm married and shouldn't care.

    I was quite PEED! I was excited because I was getting attention that I had always felt jealous of in college. I'm not acting on anything...I am just feeling good about myself for ONCE in my life.

    I had to vent this...but has anyone else received any negative comments about how good you feel about yourself and how you are ENJOYING attention?....aren't we supposed to take pride in what we've worked so hard for??
    Maybe your trainer is jealous! Hmm just a thought........
  • stacie48
    stacie48 Posts: 63 Member
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    So what did you do first....1. Walk away and not give him/her anymore money OR 2. Use the muscle you gained and sock-um one? :noway:
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    It's none of your trainers business. Furthermore, he shouldn't be making comments like that unless he knows you very personally. As far as a strict trainer/client relationship he really has no authority to say stuff like that.

    I think you should consider wearing pointy shoes to the gym and give him a donkeykick to the scrotal area.
  • Flyer615
    Flyer615 Posts: 173 Member
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    Your trainer is a dumbass.

    ^This^
  • GrAlVt
    GrAlVt Posts: 42
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    By all means, enjoy the comments. I'm sure it's wonderful to feel a sense of integration and inclusion you didn't have before.

    Just remember that 30 some odd pounds ago, those same people probably wouldn't have given you a second thought. What they're complimenting you on is mostly due to your newfound physical beauty. Don't get too caught up in the praise from people with such hollow sentiments.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    I have been getting some nice attention from both men and women since joining MFP 3 months ago...i have never had so many people tell me how great Im looking, and it feels kinda good i must say.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    I have been getting some nice attention from both men and women since joining MFP 3 months ago...i have never had so many people tell me how great Im looking, and it feels kinda good i must say.

    how U doin?
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    I have been getting some nice attention from both men and women since joining MFP 3 months ago...i have never had so many people tell me how great Im looking, and it feels kinda good i must say.

    how U doin?

    :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • heagler870
    heagler870 Posts: 280 Member
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    Wow, for a trainer to say you shouldn't work out because of the comments you get is pretty low. That's really crappy of him/her.
  • babbgirl1975
    babbgirl1975 Posts: 87 Member
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    Sounds to me like the trainer may be experiencing some jealousy??
  • luhluhlaura
    luhluhlaura Posts: 278 Member
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    Giving your trainer the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just meant that you shouldn't care what others think of you, and that you need to care about training not just to look better, but to be stronger and healthier.

    That said, he can suck it.:laugh:
    Enjoy that new body and that new confidence, you sexy thang, you! :flowerforyou:
  • Ellas_Time_4_Change
    Ellas_Time_4_Change Posts: 171
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    sounds like you hit a sore spot with him. He probably had a girlfriend who was hot and she left him for someone else.

    ^^This!
  • cjpg
    cjpg Posts: 433 Member
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    You're looking too much into it.

    Your trainer has simply said you shouldn't be working out with the INTENT of getting attention from men, as you're married and shouldn't care - which I agree with.
    But feel free to appreciate the PERK as a result of your hard work.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    Maybe he wants some of that. ;) No, I'm just kidding.

    Maybe he's married himself and would feel uncomfortable if his wife openly admitted to liking the attention she got from other guys? Maybe he has a huge amount of respect for women and he thinks it's degrading? I dunno, everyone's situation is different. He's got his own reasons for feeling the way he feels that don't have anything to do with you personally at all. I'd just forgive and not quite forget that it's not a good subject to touch on with him.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    The trainer has issues. You deserve to revel in that happiness and be confident in yourself. Yes, absolutely. Ignore his advice to not be PROUD of yourself... what nonsense coming from someone who's apparently been employed to contribute his knowledge and expertise to your physical fitness success. Makes zero sense.

    Ignore the trainer. You deserve and have every right to feel good about the attention you received. As long as you are developing confidence from within, you're fine.
  • romoli
    romoli Posts: 43 Member
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    Your "trainer" is an idiot. Feel good! Take the compliments, reject the negative crap! Keep up the good work!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    You hired him to train you for strength or whatever form of physical training you wanted help with. He's not a relationship coach or therapist nor is he even an expert in that area. If you're happy with his training then use him for that and nix the conversations on marriage, self esteem etc with him in the future.
  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
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    I think your trainer was kind of out of bounds telling you how you should feel. Sure, you shouldn't base your fitness goals alone on that, but you can feel good about yourself!
  • Family_Man
    Family_Man Posts: 53
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    Work it because you own it! :bigsmile:

    Great job!:drinker:

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