Judging other people's diaries

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ashleypage__
ashleypage__ Posts: 49
in Food and Nutrition
I am 100% against anyone passing judgment on anyone's diary. No one on this site has a perfect diary, simply because there is no such thing as a perfect diary.

I dislike seeing people write "Good job, except for that soda" or "You could have gone without those fries." Who is anyone to decide what anyone should eat? Some people are complete health junkies & others are just a work in progress. You don't know where anyone came from or how their eating habits were before joining MFP.

I, for one, am scared of having my diary judged, which is why I think about making it private from time to time. Although I haven't really experience any negative comments from my wonderful friends here, I am afraid I will. I come from a diet that consisted of fast food & soda everyday for years. I literally mean breakfast, lunch & dinner were all unhealthy fast food meals. Water didn't even consist in my diet. So even for me to have 2 glasses of water is a HUGE change for me. I hardly ever make 8 glasses of water, but I am trying. And most days I do eat a fast food meal, but for the most part I make healthier choices. But today like I had Five Guys, and usually I've been getting the burger without the bun, but today I decided against it. My lunch was 1,390 calories. And because I'm so scared of people judging, I've been trying to put off eating even when I'm hungry.

I just want you all to be open minded and celebrate successes. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. If you have a good comment, then don't throw something negative in there. We are all here to make a change in our lives, but for sustainability most of us cannot support a 360 change at once.

I wish everyone on here the best of luck & hope you have a wonderful journey with making this change :)
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Replies

  • HappilyCyn
    HappilyCyn Posts: 68 Member
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    I could not agree with you more. I would love to be your non-judgemental friend. I just posted something about people passing judgement on this page http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/643281-don-t-request-me . It's not right.
  • Bmjnash
    Bmjnash Posts: 101 Member
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    I so agree! And omg do I miss five guys! I love that place.
  • findingme07
    findingme07 Posts: 156 Member
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    you do what you need to do to be successful and if that means having fries and burger, then have it. Deprivation = Defeat......GOOD JOB!
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
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    No one has ever commented on my diary like that.

    If someone clearly has a bad day the most I comment with is "Tomorrow is a new day!"

    But I'm all for people spoiling themselves now and again.
  • tammyc226
    tammyc226 Posts: 158 Member
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    All of my friends are great and would never say anything like that. Just delete anyone who says nasty comments and move on. I like having my diary open to friends as I'm more likely to make better choices and we give each other ideas but I know that doesn't work for everyone. Add me as a friend if you want non judgemental support. :)
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    I understand where you're coming from and I'm now craving Five Guys (sigh...lol) but I may come off as being judgemental too. Where I came from is living in South Jersey where we have yummies such as cheese steaks, Taylor pork roll and bangin rolls and I was once obese...but a lot of the reason why ppl make their food diaries public is to keep them accountable. It's so easy to lie to ourselves and then we wonder why we're not getting anywhere. I'm not judging anybody, I'm not GOD...but if I see a healthier alternative from my OWN experience in losing 70 lbs and keeping it off for YEARS then I mention it. The reason why MFP works and the fellowship on here works is accountability. And I do these things b/c I care...I see too many ppl, including my brother, in that yo-yo diet trap and don't get that it's cleaner, healthier eating and not "diet". I have cheat days too...I ate Breyer's ice cream 2nite and logged it and showed it so that ppl know it's ok to have an OCCASIONAL treat...and after reading your Forum post I'm sure ppl will see Five Guys logged in my diary too one day soon (I haven't had it since last Fall lol). It's your prerogative to keep your diary private. I'd much rather you keep it private so long as you're being honest on it so you can see where you can improve.
  • ArtemisMoon
    ArtemisMoon Posts: 144
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    No one has ever been negative on mine, but I kind of appreciate the awkwardness of people seeing my bad eating habits. Sometimes it keeps me from doing some terrible stuff just so people won't see it and I won't have to lie about it, LOL...
  • AntShanny
    AntShanny Posts: 366 Member
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    I don't comment on anyone's diary and I have mine set to private. Who am I to judge what other people eat? And I really don't need anyone telling me I need to eat more vegetables, cut back on carbs, up my protein intake, etc...I KNOW these things myself, and am trying every day to make changes. But ultimately it is MY business and no one elses what I eat.
  • jppd47
    jppd47 Posts: 737 Member
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    ill look to see sometimes, just to see what kind of yummys people are eating!! love ideas for delicious
  • TKishjr
    TKishjr Posts: 21
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    To the OP: if you drank two 16oz glasses of water, you were halfway to the 8 CUPS of water the site recommends. 1 cup= 8 liquid ounces. Keep up the good work, and don't let the *kitten* get you down!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Agree with you! You've made several good points. Personally I think that logging in each day and keeping track of the food eaten is plenty accomplishment and I applaude and value my friends who want to lose and do this. I also know that many people using MFP do so for other reasons and their reasons are equally important. Having a friends list on mfp and being supportive is about tolerance and understanding. We are all as perfect as we can be and that includes our blemishes.

    Congrats to you OP on the positive changes you've made! I admire you for posting!
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    ill look to see sometimes, just to see what kind of yummys people are eating!! love ideas for delicious

    Same here.
  • Reignofmongo
    Reignofmongo Posts: 137
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    People cheat on their diets. Who cares. I succesfully lost a ton of weight having two cheat days a week, where I ate EVERYTHING. like 9000+ cals. Just find what works for you. And if you're fine with an "imperfect" day or even week, then great! It's all about you, and what your goal is. This is a marathon, not a sprint. If you stumble, or even stop... Just know you can get at it anytime you want. ;)
  • Shayztar
    Shayztar Posts: 415 Member
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    Preface: I do not judge food choices. I do not eat "clean" all the time either.

    However, if you don't want people to judge your food choices then maybe you *should* lock your diary. I think the diary open/closed option is genius because some people DO feel the need to hold themselves accountable to healthier food choices.

    Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you.

    On the other hand, a calorie is a calorie. If you are eating at a deficit, then you're still ahead of the game.
  • childofArtemis24
    childofArtemis24 Posts: 334
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    I agree with ya. My food diary is totally made of things you shouldnt eat, BECAUSE I HAVE A STOMACH DISEASE AND CANNOT EAT ALL THE HEALTHY FOOD. So I really dont care what ppl have to say. I can tell ya what foods will hurt and what won't . So DONT BE SO QUICK TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHOICES WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    I dislike seeing people write "Good job, except for that soda" or "You could have gone without those fries."

    Who says that? If someone commented that on my diary I would LMFAO.
  • Tanig32
    Tanig32 Posts: 110 Member
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    Dont worry about others judging your diary, you do you . You are a grown woman and you have the freedom to eat what you want and to treat yourself whenever you want, people are judged enough in this world so nobody should judge you about your food instead they should be encouraging you in a postive way.
  • TexasBridgett
    TexasBridgett Posts: 84 Member
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    Seriously, what is five guys!?!

    Every person responds differently and needs certain types of encouragement. I agree with you though for the most part. I'm scared that people will totally judge me on my splurges. This week, has been one of the worst since I started MFP and I just have a feeling everyone on my friends list is checking out my diary thinking, "she ate THAT! She must not be that committed." Not that I should have to explain any of it. It's just one of those things. On my normal weeks though, I kind of enourage suggestions on my bad food choices. Like if I have a certain type of food, and someone notices and knows of something similiar that is less calories/sodium...I totally want to hear about it, ya know?

    Anyway, you're not alone.
  • abetterjune
    abetterjune Posts: 219
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    Hmm... I agree with you for the most part. BUT, when I see a friend with some unhealthier choices in their diary, I'll typically check in with them (message or comment depending on who they are) asking about their choice. Was there some stressful event that led them to having a latte and a muffin at lunch? Did they go out with friends for fast food at dinner? I guess I think of it as being supportive because while I am technically judging their choice, I'm not attaching a negative connotation to it. Just opening the line of communication, or trying to. I want them to know that I actually look at their diary, I care what they eat, what they're putting in their body, and I support their decision to change their habits and eat healthier food.
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,785 Member
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    I look sometimes at others diary's but just because I'm nosy and want to see what you all are eating, but I would never ever criticize what someone else eats...You have to do what you have to do for you and others should do what they have to do. We each are different in the way we lose and the way we exercise and the way we do everything in life and no one else has the right to judge us. Look at mine all you want, I'm sure you won't be exactly happy with( well those that feel the need to judge that is)whatever I do not care.

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