Judging other people's diaries
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Personally I think it is okay to give constructive criticism because everyone is a work in progress and always trying to better themselves and their health. If you see a constant pattern that may be you think would be helpful to mention i think its okay to say but not nitpicking oh today you shouldnt have eaten those fries.
It's just as bad to lie and write "WTG" "GOOD DAY" on peoples diaries just because they are under. Its not all about counting calories it is about the types of food also. These things make a difference in this life changing journey
Yes there are those who are extreme but i dont comment on friend's diaries if closed or if i don't think they did a great day and that advice would make a difference, I am not one to lie so i just dont say anything but WILL and DO congratulate success but doesn't have to be the food.0 -
If you do not want the free flow of information and accountability, make your diary private.
Simple deal.
As for me, I welcome any and all comments good or bad.
Judgments are good unless an ego is so fragile that it bruises at the slightest hint of anything negative.
BUCK UP!
AGREED0 -
Preface: I do not judge food choices. I do not eat "clean" all the time either.
However, if you don't want people to judge your food choices then maybe you *should* lock your diary. I think the diary open/closed option is genius because some people DO feel the need to hold themselves accountable to healthier food choices.
Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you.
On the other hand, a calorie is a calorie. If you are eating at a deficit, then you're still ahead of the game.
I agree with this 100%. You said in your post that this has not happened to you but your scared it will. If it didn't even happen yet, log till your hearts content and deal with it if it ever does happen!!!!0 -
I generally don't really comment other than "good job" every now and then. There have been a few times when people seemed to be struggling or another person may make a comment that seemed mildly critical, I may go and look at the diary and comment... I remember one case recently where a person made a comment similar to what you are saying and I'd go in and look at several days and may make a comment on it.. Usually this happens when there has been some comments back and forth on it. If I comment though, it is never about one day... it is trends I may see over a week or so... Always meant in the most helpful of ways and never meant as critical...
There are different takes on our responsibilities as friends... If somebody comments on mine.. I take it as somebody making helpful comments and not as being critical.
That is true!
But it also depends on "how" that person comments.....there ARE different ways of saying the same things. I think that's what makes the difference between being helpful and being critical.0 -
My friends support me non-judgmentally each and every day, even on those frequent occasions where I mess up five minutes before bed by inhaling a thousand calories. I am working hard not to do that night eating, that unravels all the good I've done throughout the day. Part of it is wanting my friends to genuinely like what they see on my food diary.
Most people here are empathic and kind. They want to help. Give it a shot, and gently correct any friends who might misspeak by letting them know what you find supportive. My guess though, is you won't need to do that.0 -
This is mainly why I don't accept "friend" requests unless I know the person in real life. Sad, but true. I do have a couple people I met on here as friends, but not many. If ANYONE ever commented like that on my journal, I'd probably unfriend them immediately. I'm a grown *kitten* woman that isn't stupid enough to believe that if I try hard enough every day will be perfect or that I can't see where I am going over. I don't keep idiots around who like to point out the obvious and try to hold me to a kind of standard that I don't hold myself (or anyone else) to.
WHAT THE??? :noway: I see an urgent need for anger management courses. You went off the deep end there. It's no wonder you don't keep friends other than those you know 'in real life'. You don't come off very nice.0 -
I keep my diary private...I mostly try to mind my business, don't post much, and haven't added friends. My wife is on MFP and we share, but that's about it. Anyway...if someone told me I could do without the french fries I would respond along these lines:
"Not eating the fries was simply not an option because Mr. Potato Head and a gang of spuds threatened me with unspeakable things if I did not eat them. I ate them and loved them. After I finished I was so high on sinful crispy goodness I broke down and gave the Potato Head Gang your address. They put on their angry eyes and were heading in your direction so you should expect a knock at your door soon."
But that's just me...I'm a sarcastic person that way.
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~ When I first started on here I had my diary set to private for the simple reason that I wasn't willing or ready to be judged by my choices ... but, I set a password and soon my inbox was overflowing with requests to see my diary. I decided one day that my choices were just that ... mine. If people want to get ideas from me, check out my habits and even question my choices ... I was ready.
My diary as of today is pretty " clean " and I get a lot of comments on my choices and how people are interested in trying them. I do throw in " IF " once or twice a week and that sometimes throws people off .... I once got a response from a girl literally yelling at everybody for telling me " good job " because I was under my calories for the day ... I just came off a 24 hr fast and had only 4 hours to consume my calories for the night. That was planned and accounted for. I sent her an inbox and told her I was appreciative of her concern, but next time she should inbox me with any questions rather than blast my friends for being supportive. She unfriended me. Darn. LOL !
My point is ... I love checking out other peoples choices ! And depending on the " relationship " I have with others ... I want my friends to say " Hey Laney, good day but careful on the sodium " ... it shows they actually looked at my diary ! As long as the comments are positive .... I'm all for it !
What I despise are the people who don't look and write a generic ... " great day ! " ... now that just makes no sense, why comment at all ????? I know ... they were under there goal ... but exactly how did they do it ???? Was it really a great day or was it an epic fail that still came in under ??? Don't know ... don't comment.
If you want feedback ... open it up to public. If you want to just go about your business and not be bothered ... keep it private ... either way at the end of the day it is your body that will reap the rewards of your choices.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I can see both sides of the argument, having your diary open to people so that you're more accountable for what you eat. And the other side of keeping it locked because, really, it's nobody's business but your own what you eat every day.
Having said that, the only people that know what I eat every day are myself, my husband and my doctor when I print off my food and exercise report each month so that she can see what I'm doing. I don't need other people looking at my diary. I don't need someone getting on there and saying that I shouldn't have had that large Dairy Queen Blizzard. I know I shouldn't have had it, but I did, and tomorrow's another day!
If you just all of a sudden cut out all the bad crap out of your diet, you're going to fail. I don't care who you are, or what you think of yourself, you're not going to make it. It's a well known observation. What I've done, and what so far seems to be helping me, is to slowly make the changes from processed, high fat, high caloric foods, to whole foods, vegetables, fruits etc that are high in fibre, and meats that are high in protein like chicken, salmon, etc.
So as long as your making healthier choices and sticking to your calorie goals 99% of the time, that one time that you do have that large Blizzard is not going to hurt you in the long run, and you shouldn't be judged by people who have no idea who you are in real life.
/rant 0 -
I totally agree.
The best thing for me has just been to notice what I eat. Makes me want to make better choices.
But...
There are times I am afraid to write things in my diary, mostly because I don't want to admit I did that..
But not being honest or even caring about what I am putting in my body is how I got here.
I would rather see it. But sometimes I am surprised.. didn't even blow it!
so it is what it is. the only one I want commenting on my progress is my trainer (my son)
and he is totally encouraging, supportive...0 -
love the darth vaDER knitting... lmao0
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Sounds like you need some new friends that don't judge and are more supportive 0
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While I can see both sides of this, someone commenting on me eating too many carbs or too many cookies would just make me laugh. I'm going to eat what I want to eat and I logged it and am completely aware of what choices I made that day.
Honestly, if I stay within a fairly close range in my calories, ate a variety of fruits and veggies, and drank a lot of water... then I feel the day was a win. Cookies or not.
This is my life and my food choices - If I ask for advice, that's different. 0 -
WELL SAID!!!
I had a serving of fries today with my bunless turkey burger and IT WAS BOMB!!!!0 -
finally! i totally agree!Personally I think it is okay to give constructive criticism because everyone is a work in progress and always trying to better themselves and their health. If you see a constant pattern that may be you think would be helpful to mention i think its okay to say but not nitpicking oh today you shouldnt have eaten those fries.
It's just as bad to lie and write "WTG" "GOOD DAY" on peoples diaries just because they are under. Its not all about counting calories it is about the types of food also. These things make a difference in this life changing journey
Yes there are those who are extreme but i dont comment on friend's diaries if closed or if i don't think they did a great day and that advice would make a difference, I am not one to lie so i just dont say anything but WILL and DO congratulate success but doesn't have to be the food.0 -
agree!If you do not want the free flow of information and accountability, make your diary private.
Simple deal.
As for me, I welcome any and all comments good or bad.
Judgments are good unless an ego is so fragile that it bruises at the slightest hint of anything negative.
BUCK UP!0 -
well put my friend!~ When I first started on here I had my diary set to private for the simple reason that I wasn't willing or ready to be judged by my choices ... but, I set a password and soon my inbox was overflowing with requests to see my diary. I decided one day that my choices were just that ... mine. If people want to get ideas from me, check out my habits and even question my choices ... I was ready.
My diary as of today is pretty " clean " and I get a lot of comments on my choices and how people are interested in trying them. I do throw in " IF " once or twice a week and that sometimes throws people off .... I once got a response from a girl literally yelling at everybody for telling me " good job " because I was under my calories for the day ... I just came off a 24 hr fast and had only 4 hours to consume my calories for the night. That was planned and accounted for. I sent her an inbox and told her I was appreciative of her concern, but next time she should inbox me with any questions rather than blast my friends for being supportive. She unfriended me. Darn. LOL !
My point is ... I love checking out other peoples choices ! And depending on the " relationship " I have with others ... I want my friends to say " Hey Laney, good day but careful on the sodium " ... it shows they actually looked at my diary ! As long as the comments are positive .... I'm all for it !
What I despise are the people who don't look and write a generic ... " great day ! " ... now that just makes no sense, why comment at all ????? I know ... they were under there goal ... but exactly how did they do it ???? Was it really a great day or was it an epic fail that still came in under ??? Don't know ... don't comment.
If you want feedback ... open it up to public. If you want to just go about your business and not be bothered ... keep it private ... either way at the end of the day it is your body that will reap the rewards of your choices.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I'll be honest, I don't even understand the need for this tread!0
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I don't judge. I might comment, but always in a good natured way, not in a judgemental one. Some of things people eat are the exact same ones I do, so people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and all that. I have supportive friends and if I screw up, they don't chastise me. They just give me support and encouragement to do better next time. I have sometimes felt like not logging stuff due to the fact that I don't want to dissappoint them, but all I get are kudos for being honest. Judge not, lest ye be judged I think is another saying0
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yeah i hate this too. i have defriended people because of it as well. it's one thing if i say "hey please give me advice about my food choices", but completely another to go through and question what i eat, why i eat it,when i eat it. that's not what i'm here for..
just like i wouldnt appreciate or tolerate someone giving me unsolicited advice offline, i dont appreciate it online either. plus i'm pretty quick with letting people know when they've crossed the line. do it once you get a warning, do it twice then i figure as long as we're offering up unsolicited advice...0
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