Is it ok for a woman..........
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It doesn't matter what we think really. It obviously bothers you, so no, it's not okay. Talk to her.
This.
ETA: she LETS you go to places & LETS you D&D? Is she the mommy? Hmmmm.0 -
Is it ok for a woman to talk on the phone to a guy for three hours if she is married? and talk to him for an hour here and an hour there and txt him at 1030 at night? Is it being unsupportive to be uncomfortable with that and saying how you feel about it? I am curious. WHat everyones opinion is on it. Even if she says you can go do whatever and then brings up the fact that she is supportive of me cause she lets me hang with the guys every other weekend at his house playing Dungeons and Dragons, yes I said I am a role player. Please Id like the opinions of everyone. Thanks
Of course it's okay. You can't stop people from doing what they want. Of course, I would also assume that she's sleeping with him until proven otherwise...0 -
Clearly, we haven't met.Freaking gamers...*shudders*...in my personal experience...gamers pay very little attention to their real life women, and wayy too much to the characters in their game. Maybee she's needing some male attention.0 -
Is it ok for a woman to talk on the phone to a guy for three hours if she is married? and talk to him for an hour here and an hour there and txt him at 1030 at night? Is it being unsupportive to be uncomfortable with that and saying how you feel about it? I am curious. WHat everyones opinion is on it. Even if she says you can go do whatever and then brings up the fact that she is supportive of me cause she lets me hang with the guys every other weekend at his house playing Dungeons and Dragons, yes I said I am a role player. Please Id like the opinions of everyone. Thanks
i see nothing wrong with having friends.
if you can't trust her, then that's another issue entirely.0 -
Freaking gamers...*shudders*...in my personal experience...gamers pay very little attention to their real life women, and wayy too much to the characters in their game. Maybee she's needing some male attention.
as a gamer, i prefer other gamers.
i guess this post is why
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My best friend is a man. He's also one of my ex-boyfriends. He and I talk for hours any day of the week. We text and share photos on our phones and we laugh, have a good time, vent to each other about everything. We have no romantic feelings toward each other, but we truly do love each other. If someone was ever suspicious (and trust, they have been) of my relationship with him, I'd tell them to get ****ed. It's no one's right to question my motives when I'm simply having a conversation.
If you have an issue with your girl's behavior you need to stop posting your business online asking for opinions and sit down and have a talk with her. Be honest and open, don't jump to conclusions and don't accuse her of anything, because you're likely to offend her, piss her off and make her run to her friend even more than she already does.
Do you have a good communication basis in your relationship? Because it doesn't honestly sound like it. More relationships would be saved if people would stop venting on message boards about their mate and actually have a conversation.0 -
Ok here's my story. I am writing from personal exp. I am anonymous on here so here goes bud.... I was the one is her shoes writing this... a few years ago . I was gaming a LOT on a certain gaming console. Was not happy in my marriage/still am not happy
I was playing Call of Duty MW 2 I think at this time. Started talking to this guy and we got really close emotionally. Talked HOURS/texted told my husband to go out whenever he wanted almost pushed him out the door a few nights. Never slept with the guy but wanted him to get me out of this hell I was living in. But it never happened. This other person made me really happy ...he listened to me rather than start a fight and not hear what I had to say and he gave me something to look forward to after a hard day at work and being the only bread winner all the time with all the stress on my freakin shoulders to deal with on top of a very stressful job/resp level. So keep your eyes OPENED!! 0 -
I don't think so. I would not be ok with that.0
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All i can say is you need to stop what happening on both parts. From experience she is talking to him cause she's not getting what she needs at home and i feel when your married i feel time with the guy needs to be less frequent. Y'all are married. Trust me if she's talking to him for 3 hours on the phone its not a good sign for the future. If she's telling you to go out with the guys thats even more troubling. All this is to familar. Y'all need to act like a married couple and spend time with each other and not so much with other people unless its done as a couple.0
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There's totally something there... unless he's gay then I could understand it.
Then again my bff is a guy and we talk a lot. Sometimes first thing in the morning, throughout the day and before bed. My bf is friends with him too so I guess that kind of helps. But still... my bf is involved with the convos and he's kept up to date with his happenings. I'm sure this person isn't doing that.0 -
My feeling is that it is inappropriate for a person to have a really close relationship with someone of the opposite sex when they are married. It is one thing if it's a friend who they have known forever and have dinner with once and a while alone, but it is crazy for her to think what she is doing is okay. You going out with your male friends is far different than her talking to a man for hours on the phone.0
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No way.
You can bet he's working his way in. Any guy who'd try that with mine will get REJECTED and sent to ER.
A 2 time loser:laugh:0 -
No0
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It is not OK. :indifferent:0
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Both of you are flirting with danger when it comes to your relationship. Both of you need to get real and live in the real world. Your relationship is probably headed for a train wreck as we speak. JMHO0
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If it's not a family member then there's def something not right with that. Listen to your gut. There are such things as emotional affairs, although I'm not there and reading the text msgs and listening to both sides of the convo but when I was married I didn't do that crap. Even if I'm in a relationship I don't do that crap. I'm single now and don't talk on the phone with anyone, much less some dude, for 3 hrs. I hate the phone lol0
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Honestly, I really don't its appropriate for a married woman to be texting and having three hour conversations with some random male who is not a 1. a lifelong bestfriend 2. a family member. If anything, as her husband, I would think she would've introduced you to this individual. This just doesn't seem right to me...0
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If my husband was talking with another women for longer than like 30 minutes and it wasn't a person I know, I'd probably freak out. So I'm a little crazy, so obviously I'm gonna say no. I wouldn't ever talk to another guy for longer than 15 minutes if I didn't have to unless it was one of my brother-in-laws. This sounds fishy and I don't like how she says the whatever thing.0
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I talk on the phone for hours with a guy....but it is my brother....i talk often to a guy on facebook...an old classmate...but hubby hears about the conversations we have and can see them at any time he wants....BUT if my husband told me he did not like me talking to the ex classmate I would un-friend him...out of plain old fashion respect. If my husband was uncomfortable about anything i said or did...as long as it didn't hurt anyone or go against who i am as a person i would stop. that's what a partner does. you are supposed to work for each other not against one another. Do you know what her and this guy talk about? does she openly tell you? I openly tell my husband...he never even has to ask...but it is the same way with my female friends...i just tell him what we talk about. does she do that or does she tell you that it is non of your business? if she tells you the latter...be worried.0
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No. I am a woman and I can assure you that if my boyfriend or husband was talking on the phone top another lady at 10:30 at night and hours at a time I would be upset.0
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Wow...I can't possibly read all of these responses.
My take: it depends. Really.
I work with a fella who is my brother from another mother, if you will. No sexual tension, no flirting, none of that. If he scratches his balls, I say, I saw that - gross! If I've got my period, I tell him to watch out! But my husband knows ALL of this. He knows my friend, they get along and it's all good. This guy is my co-worker and we spend a LOT of time together. it's been almost 10 years - people get close.
Do you know this person at all? Is there any type of relationship between the two of yo - the three of you? If so, I don't think it's a big deal. My guy-friend gives me excellent advice/perspective on stuff that most women friends couldn't. But there is absolutely nothing going on. It is possible.
The benefit of the doubt has to come into play here. Guys & girls can be friends. You already know these convos take place - that's something. At least she's not hiding.
Talk it out. That's all that needs to be done.
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To be honest, I have maybe a dozen close female friends and hundreds of male friends. The reason for this is my previous job was soldiering in the US Army and my current job is firefighting. I work with all males... I am the only female on the department. I love the guys I work with and the guys I served with. I spend a great deal of time with my current coworkers in stressful and dangerous situations. We see each other at our highest highs and our lowest lows. It would be a tall order to be in these situations and not form bonds with these guys. That being said, I don't socialize with them outside of work yet (I'm only 7 months on the job). They know I'm happily married, and as one of my favorite songs says "She burns for me, no other man came near the flames." I have a whole and happy relationship with my husband and a brotherly love for my coworkers. I socialize a lot with them through Facebook and text messaging because I feel a bond with them, but I spend a lot more time with my husband doing all the wonderful things that wives do with their husbands.
So, to answer your question, I'd say in some situations, yes... it is entirely normal for a married woman to have close relationships with other men. Not all close relationships are sexual or romantic in nature.0 -
The fact that you feel you need to ask for other opinions about it says you're not confident about your own and you're not comfortable with her activity. Whether or not you think it's something you should "let" her do or that you should back off because she gives you permission to "do whatever," you're uncomfortable with it and you can't help that fact because it's simply how you feel, and there isn't anything wrong with that. I'd chat with her about it - ask about the significance of the friendship and maybe suggest that the three of you (or four, if he is married/committed), spend some time together to see how comfortable you feel around him. You have the right to know who she is talking to, especially for that length of time. Good luck!0
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I should probably add that I've never had a conversation with any of these guys outside of work that lasted more than three or four text messages, and it's usually work related. I've never actually talked to any of them on the phone for any reason other than to find coverage for a shift. But the bond I talked about it still there. If one of them were having a crisis, I'd be available for emotional support if they needed it.0
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I posted a part two to this please read if you can0
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I had a guy friend whom I would talk to for a very long time, because he was going through serious serious issues in his life and I was trying to help. He was like a best friend to me and we were singing partners. My husband was not threatened at all by it, but he is very secure and has no jealous bone in his body. I on the other hand.... well thats another story!!0
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That is not okay!!0
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No My hubby wouldnt be happy about that and I wouldnt either if he stayed on the phone with a women for 3 hours...0
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How do people not know the nature of their partner's relationships with other people? My god, if I were chatting with a man on the phone for three hours, I would tell my boyfriend which of my friends it was (because he knows all of them), then he would know, and it would be fine.
Do people just not get to know each other before getting married? Is my relationship bizarre?0 -
Been married 29 yrs...I would not get away with that behavior with my husband.0
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