Is it ok for a woman..........

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  • Katie3784
    Katie3784 Posts: 543
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    My feeling is that it is inappropriate for a person to have a really close relationship with someone of the opposite sex when they are married. It is one thing if it's a friend who they have known forever and have dinner with once and a while alone, but it is crazy for her to think what she is doing is okay. You going out with your male friends is far different than her talking to a man for hours on the phone.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    No way.
    You can bet he's working his way in. Any guy who'd try that with mine will get REJECTED and sent to ER.
    A 2 time loser:laugh:
  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
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    No
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
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    It is not OK. :indifferent:
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    Both of you are flirting with danger when it comes to your relationship. Both of you need to get real and live in the real world. Your relationship is probably headed for a train wreck as we speak. JMHO
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
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    If it's not a family member then there's def something not right with that. Listen to your gut. There are such things as emotional affairs, although I'm not there and reading the text msgs and listening to both sides of the convo but when I was married I didn't do that crap. Even if I'm in a relationship I don't do that crap. I'm single now and don't talk on the phone with anyone, much less some dude, for 3 hrs. I hate the phone lol
  • sdoldsMD2013
    sdoldsMD2013 Posts: 128
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    Honestly, I really don't its appropriate for a married woman to be texting and having three hour conversations with some random male who is not a 1. a lifelong bestfriend 2. a family member. If anything, as her husband, I would think she would've introduced you to this individual. This just doesn't seem right to me...
  • kwin91
    kwin91 Posts: 128
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    If my husband was talking with another women for longer than like 30 minutes and it wasn't a person I know, I'd probably freak out. So I'm a little crazy, so obviously I'm gonna say no. I wouldn't ever talk to another guy for longer than 15 minutes if I didn't have to unless it was one of my brother-in-laws. This sounds fishy and I don't like how she says the whatever thing.
  • tinksmommy2006
    tinksmommy2006 Posts: 575
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    I talk on the phone for hours with a guy....but it is my brother....i talk often to a guy on facebook...an old classmate...but hubby hears about the conversations we have and can see them at any time he wants....BUT if my husband told me he did not like me talking to the ex classmate I would un-friend him...out of plain old fashion respect. If my husband was uncomfortable about anything i said or did...as long as it didn't hurt anyone or go against who i am as a person i would stop. that's what a partner does. you are supposed to work for each other not against one another. Do you know what her and this guy talk about? does she openly tell you? I openly tell my husband...he never even has to ask...but it is the same way with my female friends...i just tell him what we talk about. does she do that or does she tell you that it is non of your business? if she tells you the latter...be worried.
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    No. I am a woman and I can assure you that if my boyfriend or husband was talking on the phone top another lady at 10:30 at night and hours at a time I would be upset.
  • cookieta76
    cookieta76 Posts: 91 Member
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    Wow...I can't possibly read all of these responses.

    My take: it depends. Really.

    I work with a fella who is my brother from another mother, if you will. No sexual tension, no flirting, none of that. If he scratches his balls, I say, I saw that - gross! If I've got my period, I tell him to watch out! But my husband knows ALL of this. He knows my friend, they get along and it's all good. This guy is my co-worker and we spend a LOT of time together. it's been almost 10 years - people get close.

    Do you know this person at all? Is there any type of relationship between the two of yo - the three of you? If so, I don't think it's a big deal. My guy-friend gives me excellent advice/perspective on stuff that most women friends couldn't. But there is absolutely nothing going on. It is possible.

    The benefit of the doubt has to come into play here. Guys & girls can be friends. You already know these convos take place - that's something. At least she's not hiding.

    Talk it out. That's all that needs to be done. :smile:
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
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    To be honest, I have maybe a dozen close female friends and hundreds of male friends. The reason for this is my previous job was soldiering in the US Army and my current job is firefighting. I work with all males... I am the only female on the department. I love the guys I work with and the guys I served with. I spend a great deal of time with my current coworkers in stressful and dangerous situations. We see each other at our highest highs and our lowest lows. It would be a tall order to be in these situations and not form bonds with these guys. That being said, I don't socialize with them outside of work yet (I'm only 7 months on the job). They know I'm happily married, and as one of my favorite songs says "She burns for me, no other man came near the flames." I have a whole and happy relationship with my husband and a brotherly love for my coworkers. I socialize a lot with them through Facebook and text messaging because I feel a bond with them, but I spend a lot more time with my husband doing all the wonderful things that wives do with their husbands.

    So, to answer your question, I'd say in some situations, yes... it is entirely normal for a married woman to have close relationships with other men. Not all close relationships are sexual or romantic in nature.
  • Parkers11
    Parkers11 Posts: 1
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    The fact that you feel you need to ask for other opinions about it says you're not confident about your own and you're not comfortable with her activity. Whether or not you think it's something you should "let" her do or that you should back off because she gives you permission to "do whatever," you're uncomfortable with it and you can't help that fact because it's simply how you feel, and there isn't anything wrong with that. I'd chat with her about it - ask about the significance of the friendship and maybe suggest that the three of you (or four, if he is married/committed), spend some time together to see how comfortable you feel around him. You have the right to know who she is talking to, especially for that length of time. Good luck!
  • ChaseAlder
    ChaseAlder Posts: 804 Member
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    I should probably add that I've never had a conversation with any of these guys outside of work that lasted more than three or four text messages, and it's usually work related. I've never actually talked to any of them on the phone for any reason other than to find coverage for a shift. But the bond I talked about it still there. If one of them were having a crisis, I'd be available for emotional support if they needed it.
  • donjoe1024
    donjoe1024 Posts: 30
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    I posted a part two to this please read if you can
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    I had a guy friend whom I would talk to for a very long time, because he was going through serious serious issues in his life and I was trying to help. He was like a best friend to me and we were singing partners. My husband was not threatened at all by it, but he is very secure and has no jealous bone in his body. I on the other hand.... well thats another story!!
  • quickchekgal
    quickchekgal Posts: 213 Member
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    That is not okay!!
  • nangel4u
    nangel4u Posts: 119
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    No My hubby wouldnt be happy about that and I wouldnt either if he stayed on the phone with a women for 3 hours...
  • kayleesays
    kayleesays Posts: 564 Member
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    How do people not know the nature of their partner's relationships with other people? My god, if I were chatting with a man on the phone for three hours, I would tell my boyfriend which of my friends it was (because he knows all of them), then he would know, and it would be fine.

    Do people just not get to know each other before getting married? Is my relationship bizarre?
  • radicalrunner
    radicalrunner Posts: 10
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    Been married 29 yrs...I would not get away with that behavior with my husband.

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