How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

brewface811
brewface811 Posts: 106
edited December 24 in Chit-Chat
I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet. **Edited to include that this is merely an observation, not that I think we should be at the same point or compare our relationships to other people. I know that ours is much different than others and I respect that I just feel like it is time for us to be taking next steps.

So, how long were you with your SO before getting engaged?
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Replies

  • Tat2dDom624
    Tat2dDom624 Posts: 1,226 Member
    A year and a half
  • Jillian1104
    Jillian1104 Posts: 119 Member
    Just under 4 years.
  • mary_kate23
    mary_kate23 Posts: 156
    3 years and at the same level that you guys are. but that's not my choice! i hate that men have all the power in this ;)
  • JupitersGhost
    JupitersGhost Posts: 64 Member
    Four and a half years and still not living together or engaged. We're young too (20 and 24) and currently can't afford the living costs here :(
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    2.5 years.

    May have been sooner but we're long distance.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 428 Member
    9 months. Please don't use other people's lives as a way to direct yours. That will not end well.
  • alliegeorge
    alliegeorge Posts: 114
    4 years - met when we were 17. If you really want to get married; why don't you take the bold step and ask him instead
  • Han2409
    Han2409 Posts: 8 Member
    18 months though close for over 6 years first :)
  • KatM2014
    KatM2014 Posts: 263 Member
    Exactly two years (we got engaged aged 22 - me and 23 - him). We had lived together about a year when we got engaged.
  • dcyr009
    dcyr009 Posts: 93
    It was after 6 months of dating back in 1987. We married 1 year later and have stayed married for over 24 years. We are at our happiest now. Kids are almost full grown. Life is great. Good luck.
  • fiona2785
    fiona2785 Posts: 82
    Three months!

    The timing is going to be different for everyone. Do what's right for you!
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    My fiance proposed to me on our 6th year dating anniversary. I am 23 and he is going to be 24 in August. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 17.

    It's different for everyone, be patient. I felt like I waited forever, and then when it happened I was the happiest girl in the world! :smile:

    We bought a house together in September 2010, we lived together for 2 years before he asked me, but dated 6 years.
    Our 7th year dating anniversary is coming up in October, and we are having an August 2013 wedding.
  • fiona2785
    fiona2785 Posts: 82
    If you really want to get married; why don't you take the bold step and ask him instead

    Also, this ^^^ :-)
  • marie_cressman
    marie_cressman Posts: 980 Member
    2 months :blushing:
  • KrystleKiri
    KrystleKiri Posts: 135
    I got pregnant at 17 by a guy I honestly didn't know too well, we had only been dating for maybe a month. He got a job working with the navy, we kept the baby, and got married when she was 3 months old. Our three year anniversary is approaching, and we're about to close on our own home, we're happy and he's an amazing guy.

    Point of the story is love can come after 10 years, or 10 days. I don't think there's a clock on it. Remember, the only thing that changes is a title, you're still the same people and share the same love. Good luck to you.
  • Falling_star
    Falling_star Posts: 204 Member
    me and my partner got together when we were 16 engaged after 2 years, bought a house together 3 years ago getting married this year after over 9 years off been together.
  • amanda8o
    amanda8o Posts: 352 Member
    6 months and been happily married 11 and together 12,but definitely it's something you guys have to figure out you can't look at anyone else's relationship but your own!
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
    Been married 30 years now, he proposed 4 nights after our first date. We were married eight months later. I still get roses on the anniversary of our first date.

    Everyone is different, if you are ready why don't you pop the question?
  • kcmcd
    kcmcd Posts: 239 Member
    Two months. And we were married four months after that. It's worked out very well for us - married nine happy years so far, and we just had our third baby - but I still wouldn't recommend moving that quickly to anyone. Looking back I totally understand why my mother was freaked out.
  • nuttyduffy
    nuttyduffy Posts: 255 Member
    12 years!!!! Had a child after 8 years, bought a house together at 10 years, engaged at 12, another child at 13 and married after 14 years lol I wasn't even sure I wanted to get married until he asked me and put me on the spot :bigsmile:

    Happily married for 5 years now, together 19 years in total! By the time we got married we had been through everything that could possibly break us up but we were still together, which means (as far as we're concerned) we'll be together forever :happy:

    Moving in together, having children and buying houses are all really stressful - if you can survive all of that then you've got a real good chance of lasting - but's that's just my opinion!
  • mashanda
    mashanda Posts: 120 Member
    a year and half. but I am engaged at 34. I think you should just go with it for a bit. I hope you have at least discussed marriage during your time together...if not that may be a problem.
  • melcpia
    melcpia Posts: 123 Member
    he was 37 and I was 25 ......hmm we kissed for the first time sept 15/1996..... ran away (from my ex) and moved in together 19 sept/96....he asked me to marry him Oct 96, got pregnant in the november but didnt find out till the december of 96.....got married St Vals Day 97 and our son was born 1 year to the day that we moved in together :-)

    Oh and 15+ years later still very much in love with my best friend...we've never had a fight either.
  • KetoBella
    KetoBella Posts: 141 Member
    Have there been any discussions along those lines? If he is willing to purchase a house with you but not get married I would say you need to have that discussion. If he isn't willing to slay dragons for you and drop down on one knee I'd say you have hitched your wagon to the wrong star.
  • aiode
    aiode Posts: 7 Member
    DH and I have been together going on 21 years and married going on 11. Yes, you read that right. We were together 10 years before we got engaged/married.
    Life just works like that sometimes. We even have a child together (he's 19).
  • pascale485
    pascale485 Posts: 173 Member
    I've been with my boyfriend 6 1/2 years now, even though we are younger (about to be 22 and 23) I really feel like it's time to take next steps in our relationship. We're planning to buy a house within the next year and I'd really like to either be engaged or married by then. I find that everyday more of my friends are engaged or moving in with their boyfriend/girlfriends I just hate that we aren't at the next step yet. So, how long were you with your SO before getting engaged?

    I understand how you feel, I am seeing all my friends and familly getting married or engaged or buying houses or having babies and sometimes it makes me very depressed.

    But I tell myself that my boyfriend wants to make the demand perfect so he is waiting for the perfect time. But I will admit that everytime there is something special on our agenda, trip, visit, romantic dinner, I always have a little voice in my heart saying, tonight might be the night. Sometimes after a wonderful night of hoping we go home and nothing... I feel depressed and unwanted but I know it's me.

    Tell yourself that when the time comes you will be extremely happy because you know he is the one (I'm a little girl that still believe in the one true love) and you were strong enough to wait for what you wanted!!!

    When you see a friend getting engaged, think about what you have that she/he doesn't.

    Hang on and it will happend!
  • SteveTries
    SteveTries Posts: 723 Member
    4 months. Married 2 months later.

    For us it was a case of 'when it's right, you know' - though I think you need to have experienced a few that were 'wrong' before you can judge this.

    Married for ten years next month and it's been 100% a great partnership and supremely happy union
  • Classyandra
    Classyandra Posts: 74 Member
    10 months, married 6 months later, Oct will be our 5 year wedding anniversary. Everyone is different. Make sure you are both ready to take that step. Good Luck :)
  • KrystieNye
    KrystieNye Posts: 123 Member
    We started dating in September, got engaged in November, and were married in January. It will be 2 1/2 years next month. Every person and every situation is unique...if you feel like you want to get married sometime in the near future, have a serious discussion with him about it and see how he really feels. :smile:
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    I was with mine for 9 years...but we have been together for over 10 years now and are getting married this month.
  • mommy2AR
    mommy2AR Posts: 2,796 Member
    a year and a half as well :P
This discussion has been closed.

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