cruel people
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After reading these I am SSSSSOOOOO glad my mom raised me with such high self esteem! I was the fat kid in kindergarten, and I am sure there were plenty of mean comments along the way, but I don't really remember any, cause they were not allowed to hit home... I always knew I was beautiful no matter what... Thanks for helping me see how truly blessed I have been! And I am SSOOO very so y'all did not get the same blessed upbringing!!0
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i can definitely relate to a lot of what was posted.
my mom is usually very good at making me feel like crap about myself. after going from a size 24 to a size 14 (and now a size 10/12), she had the nerve to tell me last summer i looked fat. she is constantly pushing for me to have my excess skin removed (i don't want to... i would rather work it off myself). she is over weight and addicted to plastic surgery. BUT she does tell her friends "marie looks great! i'm so proud of her." behind closed doors, she's a royal b*tch.
at my heaviest (304), i had a kid and his father making fun of me when i was leaving a restaurant.
through school, i honestly had a lot of friends and was never made fun of for my weight. it was mostly family that made me feel like ****. mostly cousins. when i see them now, they don't recognize me. they are in shock when they see me.0 -
i had a good friend whos been suportive of me losing weight tell me oh if you were only skinnier id have tryed something with you yea that makes me feel great in so many ways its shhh like that that makes me wanna stay a big girl i can skip over ashes like him0
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I've also always been considered very masculine, which makes me afraid to lose too much weight for fear that it may increase that. I admitted to a friend that I wanted to be a ballerina when I was younger and she laughed and said it'd be ridiculous with my manly shoulders.
God I just want to scream everytime I hear that from somebody. I used to get told all the time "If you weren't so fat, you'd make a great looking guy!' UGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Before High School I was rail thin, had reached my current height already and had a larger chest than anyone else in my school. I got made fun of for being everything from a bean pole to a skeleton, stuffing my bra, (had several girls pull my shirt up over my head pinning my arms up with my boobs hanging out. (Yeah, that was a great F*** year there buddy!) ) was called a *kitten* for having boobs.
I'm 5'9 and and I know it's soooo cliche but I have a large bone structure and at my "skinniest", a whopping 174lbs mind you, when the clothes came off, the bones showed. I was actually told to put my clothes back on once because my hips were poking out. Something I obviously don't have to worry about now, lol!0 -
i had a good friend whos been suportive of me losing weight tell me oh if you were only skinnier id have tryed something with you yea that makes me feel great in so many ways its shhh like that that makes me wanna stay a big girl i can skip over ashes like him
that's the stupidest crap i've ever heard. some boys (yes boys... he's not a man) are idiots. if someone is going to love you, they will regardless of your size. my husband loved me when i was damn near 300lbs and more than 100lbs lost and he's still by my side.0 -
we all know them. what are the cruel things people had said to you about your weight, or your height, or just you?
I think this topic is counter productive. I don't want to know what negative things people have had said to them or post about my own.
I focus on the positive as much as possible.0 -
An old "friend" of mine once said to me, "I don't understand how you have arm fat? I'm bigger than you are and I've never had a problem with my arms getting fat like yours"0
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My ex-husband told me one time that the reason we didn't go out anymore is because I was too fat to be seen in public. :frown:
Good thing that he's an EX! You deserve so much better than that!
Agreed! ^^
My ex posted on FB for all to see "Lost 200 pounds this summer and it feels great!"
This was after I left him for hitting me in the face while I was breastfeeding our 3 week old baby. I left when she was 4 weeks old. Yeah so, he was referring to me. I was the 200 pounds. Awful huh.
He so needs to be in JAIL for doing that... not posting anything on Facebook... So glad you had the courage to get out of that situation.0 -
this isnt what someone said to me but this happened to me a couple days ago::
Me and my guy went to Wet N' Wild for the first time ever a couple days ago! I avoided pools and public swimming forever it seemed but I promised this summer I would go to water parks again. Fat, insecure me went! I was having a lot of fun! Well we were chilling in the Wave Pool in our seperate inner tubes and then I felt something hit my arm. Everyone around me started staring at me wondering what I was going to do, My fiance' looked infuriated that I just got hit with something. I was like "Its not a big deal, it was just goggles, it was accident" No one said anything, not even my guy.....so I was like "It was goggles right?" I started looking around and turns out someone through a pack of snack food at me. Now me being fat immediately thought 'ok that was not accident by any means!' I was so upset I sunk down as low as possible into my inner tube and cried which made my guy even more upset!
I quickly got over it because I realized we paid way too much for me to mope around....
its just sad that as an adult I still have to deal with being picked on by high schoolers0 -
we all know them. what are the cruel things people had said to you about your weight, or your height, or just you?
I think this topic is counter productive. I don't want to know what negative things people have had said to them or post about my own.
I focus on the positive as much as possible.
I find it motivational, to just use it as fuel and prove the cruel people wrong.0 -
A couple weeks ago I was walking to the trail when an older guy said "They will be teenagers before you know it" when I passed his house. I told my sister (she had gastric bypass 6 years ago) about what he said when she replied "people thought I was pregnant when I was fat too."0
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From the other end of the spectrum:
1. Ohmygawd are you sick?? What's wrong?
2. Youre hella sucked up looking, wtf, are you tweaking monica?
3. Ummm not to be mean but you look like a skeleton
4. I bet on Halloween you guys don't put skeleton stuff out, cuz you're enough.
5. You need to eat a cheeseburger
6. Seriously you and your friend look like Laurel and Hardy, what does she steal your food? Is that why she's so fat and you're so bony?
7. Men don't like women that look like boys, no wonder you haven't remarried.
#7 must of been said to you by another woman, amiright?
Yeah lol. But 1 & 2 were guys. So was 6. I had an overweight friend in middle school. I was very skinny back then. The jokes about us two were horrendous.
I used to get comments like these all the time too. The worst were from my ex-sister-in-laws who were all well endowed and would comment all the time that I wasn't a real woman because I wasn't. "If you turn sideways, you'd miss her" was another one and my all time favorite "you get skinnier every time I see you." Well, if that last were true, I'd blow away in the wind... I actually felt like telling them that I was the same weight as I always was, that it was them that gained but that would have lowered myself to their standards. It was always those closest to me who made the nastiest comments. Ex-husband was the worst but his words would be censored if I posted them on here. That is one of the reasons I started lifting weights years ago.0 -
Cruel people are such a nuisance.
Every time a new one exposes their *kitten* to me, I end up having to extract my shoe from it.0 -
Cruel people are such a nuisance.
Every time a new one exposes their *kitten* to me, I end up having to extract my shoe from it.
LOL! That gave me a good chuckle to end my day well.0 -
An ex-boyfriend told me that we hadn't been intimate for two months because I was, "too fat to *kitten*."
Lovely, eh?
No one deserves that, regardless of their weight, but the clincher is...I weighed about 115 lbs at the time. I'm 5'2'.0 -
the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.
No one has said more mean things to me than myself.
That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.
Same here. I've never actually had someone say something mean to my face, but man I can be a real b!tch to myself.0 -
A lot of cruelty doesn't come from strangers for me it mostly comes from family and friends. I hate going to family functions because I can't take another insult from one of my nieces or nephews telling me I'm fat, I have a big stomach or my favorite "you need to exercise". I know these are just kids but their words cut deep so to avoid having to hear the same things I stop going to family functions. If it's not my nieces and nephews saying things its other members of my family. The looks I get every time I walk into the room.. why does everyone's eyes look down at my stomach? Their eyes to me says they pity me and I hate that. I had great success loosing weight before and my family was really proud of me and then I moved to a different state and gain most of it back and when I tell you those family members who were singing my praises and saying how proud they were of me.. now they were saying how disappointed they were because I gain the weight back.
Then there's your so called friends who suppose to have your back no matter what. Today, I made a comment about not liking weight loss commercials anymore. I said "If I hear another person say 'I've lost 30 pounds and I feel great!' I'm going to scream because I've lost 32 pounds and I don't look like it." Then my friend says, "You sure don't look like you have." Really? Aren't you suppose to be my friend? So where is the encouragement? That right there cut me deep. I feel so discourage now.
All my life I've struggle with my weight. All of my school years I've been bullied because of it and gotten into many fights. It's hard to have to deal with kids at school then have to come home and deal with it from family members. I feel if I had been taught how to eat properly and not always have McDonald's, Burger King, and White Castle be the ones to give me my food maybe I wouldn't have gotten as big as I have. I have to loose 248lbs. That's a person! I just feel like no one around me understands what I'm going through and the struggles that I face. No one around me has to loose that much weight. No one. So I feel alone and feel like no one understands.0 -
Oh boy, let me get my list:
From Dad and Mom,
tub of lard
fat *kitten*
bimp (he said he wasn't calling me blimp, so it was ok)
with that said, we have reconciled, and they have both since put down the bottle.
At school (the WORST)
I was harassed for everything. From my weight, to my clothes, to the fact that we moved to our house from a trailer park, to the fact that my parents drank a lot, to the fact that my brother had a learning disability plus a speech impediment and epilepsy...
I got in a lot of fights defending him. In high school, a group of boys harassed me so bad one day that they were throwing full bottles of water super hard at my back and when I looked at them they called me wide. That was my last straw. I got up and went up to them and kicked the one dude as hard as I could in the shin and asked him what the eff he was going to do about it and that I would beat his *kitten*. He never messed with me after that and every other kid that tried to harass me quickly learned better.
As an adult, I haven't had many problems with people. Actually, thats not entirely true, when I was broken up with my boyfriend for a short time, his sister's husband called me fat and told me that my body was nasty and disgusting. He told me that no one would ever want to be with me and that was why my boyfriend broke up with me, too.0 -
I've been teased all my life.
-Cousin would call me an elephant and now he's bigger than me and his wife is bigger than me too.
-My sister used to be thin and one time her friend went over to the house and said that I was growing up so fast and my sister said yeah she's growing and acted like her stomach was big. Now she is overweight and struggling to lose weght.
-Aunt would go to my house when I was little and tell me that I was dirty and needed to shower. I'd tell her that I had just showered and she would say that I was still dirty and she would pull my hair. Now she loves me to death and doesn't let anyone mess with me.
-Grandma used to call me fat and that I needed to stop eating and be more like my cousin, she was the same age as me, and be thin. She passed away but I still love her.
-Uncle used to tell me that my teeth were little because I ate so much and that my cousins, same cousin from above, teeth were big because she didn't eat enough. Last time I saw him he was very very big.
-School kids used to call me fat, ugly, that no one wanted me, that I ate too much, I shouldn't be running, I shouldn't attempt to play sports, that I would cause earthquakes and such cruel things. I couldn't handle it so I would ditch school all day about 3 times a week and then I was home schooled senior year. Most of those people are in jail, overweight, ugly or just straight of who*es.
-Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.0 -
- My mom was probably my biggest bully. My mom grew up heavy and raised us kids the same way. When i was younger I was a real skinny little kid, I was a picky eater my mom would seriously force food down my throat. My mom would grab at my fat, call me a cow. She would tell me how having skinny pretty friends wouldn't make me look better. Every guy I liked or dated I was told couldn't possibly like me probably just wanted to use me. She to this day thinks my now husband (who is the greatest and understanding guy ever) abuses me and just uses me for money. I no longer talk to my mom since I moved away and she had spread so many rumors about me. No one from my immediate family even came to my wedding. Every Time I had talked to her she would always ask "did you lose any of that weight yet?"
- former best friend was the type of girl who was pretty and chose to be friends with people who were lets just say not as blessed as she was. You know the whole put a 7 with a bunch of 5's makes them a 10? Yea that was her. She always made comments to me about my weight but I just figured she was my best friend at least she is honest , she cares and just wants to help. Every guy that I dated or was interested in dating she told me how they were all over her and just thought of me like a friend since I was overweight they weren't interested in me.I had been engaged to a guy later caught him cheating and she wore me out how it was my fault cause I was overweight I should have accepted it. My now husband She said there was not a chance in hell he would be interested in me and would want her. She was not a happy camper when he actually liked me for me and looked beyond the weight. She tried breaking us up several times and made me feel really insecure. Luckily I dropped her and have now spent 4 wonderful years with this great man and been we married for 3 months!
-supposed close friends after dropping my best friend the group turned on me. I started getting texts from random numbers saying moo and they would leave voice mails calling me a cow. During our Senior video I have been told how these great friends of mine started mooing when a picture of me from prom came up on the screen and said "hey look a green cow". Luckily I was not present for this I really don't know what I would have done since from the way it sounds much of the class laughed or started mooing along with them..
-guy who comes into my job. There is an old man who hangs out in the gas station I work at part time. I have never done anything wrong to this man but he constantly makes comments about me being overweight he had been talking crap about the way I do my job (which btw Im like seriously the only one who actually cleans stocks and most customers will tell you im their favorite) Well I had enough of him talking about me, so I stuck up for myself he told me to shut my G D fat mouth. For some reason my boss looks the other way about him talking about me like this. I really have thought about crashing my car into his prize 66 camaro, oops my foot slipped.
I have been asked several times by customers, new coworkers, and even my husbands stepmom When I was due..
all these reasons have made me more determined with my weight loss!0 -
the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.
No one has said more mean things to me than myself.
That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.
Oh you are so wise. It's one thing to have "outsiders" label us, but how horrific that most overweight people are their own bully! I love the concept of "unfriending" that person in our heads. We all need to do that. Fake it til you make it! Thanks! You have started my day with a new outlook!!!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
My own mother? Does that count? She's so nice to me in front of other people, but if/when we are alone, she's nasty.
She's overweight herself and it is EATING her up inside that I am losing weight (through a lot of hard work). She does everything she can to sabotage me, but if someone is around she's all "doesn't Monique look great?". I sweat a lot when I workout, and just in general if I get hot. I guess it's a mild form of hyperhydrosis. She told me as a teen (age 12), that I sweat because I'm fat. Ya, sorry mom, not the case because years later I was super thin and fit and guess what?!? I sweat. The other day I said "my pants are falling down, I need new jeans", she said " oh, give your old ones to your sister, oh.. no wait... she's thinner than you. Nevermind". That's not even the half of the things she says on a daily basis. She steals 100 cal snacks that I painstakingly put into little baggies so that my portions are all evened out, she throws tantrums if I don't eat her 1000 cal lasagna for supper (I happily make my own little omelet, I've never asked her to change for me), and she offers me cake, pie, apple crisp, muffins, chocolate you NAME it, several times a day. This is all after we had a HUGE talk about my goals, my needs, my health concerns... none of it sinks in. I was eating popcorn the other evening and she said "How are you hungry, you eat so much". (bite my tongue, bite my tongue... thinking, and I burn at least 400 cals off EVERY day through exercize)
OK, my vent is over, but my mother made me feel very ugly and fat for most of my life. That felt good, thanks for asking. Now, back at ya! You answer!
What a *****! How long til you can move out? (hug)0 -
the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.
No one has said more mean things to me than myself.
That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.
Oh you are so wise. It's one thing to have "outsiders" label us, but how horrific that most overweight people are their own bully! I love the concept of "unfriending" that person in our heads. We all need to do that. Fake it til you make it! Thanks! You have started my day with a new outlook!!!!! :flowerforyou:
Nice sentiment but you can put that mirror in a closet. You can't put the outside world in a closet - the things that random strangers say or the "caring" comments of loved ones hurt more.
Having said that, I wish I had been my own critic after I gained the first 20 lbs, but I didn't really care that much, I always found ways of justifying it with thoughts like, wow, my boobs have grown, or my BF likes a bit of a wiggle on a woman. Then it got to the point where I couldn't buy the clothes I liked, and even then my inner critic was all "meh, it's the antidepressants, it's not your fault". What worked for me was someone commenting on the size of the women admin staff in my department, quite a few of whom are very overweight or obese. I suddenly realised I was one of the ones he was talking about and I was amazed. Ok, he was a *kitten* for saying it, but he's an old bloke and hasn't moved on from the Mad Men era in some ways. But nevertheless, it had an impact.0 -
i posted this in another thread...but it was also fitting for this one....
At the market today I was told I look like gwyneth paltrows character in shallow hal when she is seen as normal(not when hal is under his spell).
I said thank you...and she said, I wasn't saying it to be nice.....0 -
I'm a school teacher and kids can be pretty awful sometimes. Some are just honest and tactless, and others are just plain mean.
My last name is McGowan. It has been changed to McCOWan-cos-she's-a-fat-cow
I asked what the school's postcode was once and a kid said "The school's or your own, since you need one." I left that school.
A teacher once told me I should try Lite'n'Easy cause I would really benefit from the reduced cal diet (true but none of her freaking business)
But as other people have said, we are our own worst enemies. I STILL don't feel like I deserve to eat unless I exercise every day. I constantly feel I have to be 200+ calories UNDER my goal of 1200 to be doing well, and if I eat 1100+ I'm being greedy. I look in the mirror and hate the fat. I often catch myself thinking I am fat enough, why should I be allowed lunch. That stuff, from inside me, that is the reason other people's comments hurt. For example, I sing. I know I'm good because I've worked all my life to be good. I have a LONG way to go but for where I am, I'm good. If someone says that I'm terrible, I shrug. It's an opinion. I know I am happy with my progress so far. But fat comments? Different story.0 -
I had a lady ask me if we were having another baby, I said no, and she patted her belly and said, "It looks like you are"
Some people! A teacher did the same thing to me.. she walked up smiling and motioning to my tummy. I was like "no... uh... I'm not" (all akward). Then she replied "oh, then I guess you just gained weight over the summer."
Out of curiosity, how did you repond. I just walked away without saying another word. But I wish I had told her off, I still don't know what I would have said tho....
This happens to me a lot. I have a hernia and it makes my stomach stick out so it looks like I'm pregnant. I dropped my kids off at daycare one day and a teacher said " Oh my! You're getting bigger by the day! " and rubbed my stomach. She was extremely loud and I wanted to die I was so embarrassed. I told her I wasn't pregnant and she was really embarrassed But I actually cried when I left.
Oh gawd, I'm so sorry. Some people are socially inept. Rule: if you're not sure if someone is pregnant, SHUT UP. If they want you to know, they will tell you eventually. UGH I feel angry for you!0 -
the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.
No one has said more mean things to me than myself.
That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.
Really relate to this, Trying to give yourself respect can be the hardest thing (I'm still learning)0 -
After reading these I am SSSSSOOOOO glad my mom raised me with such high self esteem! I was the fat kid in kindergarten, and I am sure there were plenty of mean comments along the way, but I don't really remember any, cause they were not allowed to hit home... I always knew I was beautiful no matter what... Thanks for helping me see how truly blessed I have been! And I am SSOOO very so y'all did not get the same blessed upbringing!!
My baby is a bit chubby too and I hope with all my heart and soul that she feels this way when she is older. I always tell her how beautiful she is and that when other people are mean it is their problem not hers. I think it is because growing up my mom did nothing but confirm what those mean kids would say to me, so I know how damaging that is to a person.0 -
I could type a few things. I haven't been fat all my life, this is just a second time through out my life I have gained a ton of weight due to stress and now losing it. When I was 13 or 14 years old and only 130lbs, my mom would tell me that I was "fat" because she knew I had an eating disorder just like she had one. Obviously that, and other coo-coo reasons, she isn't in my life.
My aunt said a few months ago with my BF right next to me that I finally looked like part of the family now and not an anorexic. Meaning, I'm fat now like the rest of them and not thinner than everyone. The thinnest I've ever been is 120lbs. That's hardly anorexic looking, but compared to my family I suppose it is.0 -
Some people are mean no matter what.
It's got little to do with you being fat or whatever. If you were barbie-doll perfect, mean people would still be mean.
The world is a rough place, and we need to be at our best just because reaching potential is the right thing to do.
Achievement is its own reward.
As for miserable people? Get them OUT OF YOUR LIVES!
And get even by just showing them how irrelavant they are. Ignore them and always remember:
The very best revenge is to live well.
So do that - :flowerforyou:
All Is Possible!0
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