A stranger's harsh words

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Replies

  • healthynursein2015
    healthynursein2015 Posts: 16 Member
    And we wonder why there is a problem with bullying in our schools , when even the adults cant hold their crude rude comments. Rember he was drunk! So sorry this happened to you dont give him the power on rembering what he said and letting it destroy you. You did the right thing cried felt the hurt then the next morning did something about it and took the power away from him. I bet he was not up and walking a good healthy walk the next morning. GOOD FOR YOU MOVING ON . Now try to forget about it . This is not who you are .
  • BigMomma742
    BigMomma742 Posts: 46 Member
    I would have coughed on him and said, "I have TB, too."

    But that is why my friends can't take me anywhere.

    Just TB? Awesome. LMAO when I read this. I love it when the right words come out of my mouth and leave my friends speechless, and I don't even know what I've done. Great advice ;)
  • brentdaniels
    brentdaniels Posts: 127
    I don't know why I am amazed at the stupidity and ignorance of people. What a sad little life when you feel better about yourself by putting down other people.
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
    I would have said, "I may be fat, but you're stupid, and you can't fix stupid."

    As much as it hurt you, don't allow him or his words to have power over you. Shrug it off, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and keep on being the fabulous person that you are. People like that do not deserve your time or the energy you expended in crying and feeling bad. He's got bigger problems if he's walking around drunk.
    You took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to suggest she say something like, "I can lose weight, but you'll always be a fill-in-the-blank..."
  • tashaa1992
    tashaa1992 Posts: 658 Member
    I'm normally quite a strong person and don't really let anyone who says anything affect me, but on Friday, that all changed..!

    I was out with friends for a long brunch (my "cheat" meal for the month) and some random (albeit drunk) man was walking around with his girlfriend and said to her 'let's get away from here because that woman is fat".. in ear shot!!! I asked him what he said and he repeated it, looking directly at me, "what, you are really fat"... my only response was that I couldn't help it if he was an "a'hole"... but the damage was done, I was devastated, still am. I held myself together, until I got in a taxi and then bawled my eyes out for an hour until I fell asleep... how does he not know what affect this could have on someone, what if they weren't as strong as I am??

    How can anyone be that cruel..! It is clearly up to you what you think, but why would you say something so offensive to someone your walking past, whether you know them or not..!

    I used to be "less cuddly" but through a year of ups and downs and stress and tragedy, I've gained around 60 pounds... I started work on finding myself again at the beginning of June and shed 9 of them so far. My journey's only just beginning but people like that don't help... although I woke up the next morning and went for a 5km walk in searing heat - so I guess, sucks to be him (probably cuddling a toilet bowl somewhere) because what he did, made me get up the next morning to ensure I got my exercise in..! I'm a "shrinking healthily" 226 pound woman with feelings, damn it!

    I am so so sorry:( I'm glad you managed to pick yourself back up again though, it shows just how strong you are. As much as it hurts, there are people like him out there. Do you know what though, people like that just say hurtful things to make themselves feel better, focus on you and your health, keep going, you've got this xxx
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    *(*(*hugs*)*)* I am so sorry that people are such *kitten*. I completely know where you are coming from. I've had people yell things at me from their cars, from their houses, it just boggles my mind that these people are able to still walk around with such a lack of manners or empathy for others.

    I know you know this, but: You. Are. BEAUTIFUL. JUST as you are. If you change, let it be because YOU want to, not because of what anyone else said or did. Don't ever let them have that much power over you.
  • hothodgie
    hothodgie Posts: 258 Member
    I am so sorry this happened to you. But I am so proud you are handling the right way. You are a beautiful person. Nobody can take that away from you. Good luck for continued success! We can all do this!! Losers be damned.
  • SP2Bfit
    SP2Bfit Posts: 114
    It really is unfortunate that some people get pleasure out of being cruel to others. So sorry that you encountered one such person.

    It is likely that no matter what you said to that man it would have had little impact, no matter if you attempted to be hurtful to him or educate him. Since he said what he did without any discretion and he repeated it without any remorse to your face when you called him on it, it would seem his regard for social ettiquite is minimal. He would've likely been equally cruel to anyone who he came across who had characteristics outside of his ideal (whether it be weight, sexual preference, physical disability, race, etc., etc.), especially if he though he could negatively influence how that person felt about himself/herself.

    Your best defense against idiots like that is to develop a strong self concept and self esteem. THE ONLY PERSON'S OPINON ABOUT YOU THAT MATTERS IS YOURS!! Learning to love yourself for your strengths and what you are doing to overcome your weaknesses is crucial and needs to be cultivated on a daily basis. Start paying attention to the self talk going on in your head...if it is full of self criticism and doubt start working on changing it...even though it might feel hokey, consider daily affirmations/telling yourself 5 positive things about yourself every morning and every evening--and you need to work on believing it. If you can get yourself to believe the positive things you are saying to yourself you will likely care less about what some yahoo thinks or says (I know it is easier said than done and I still have to work on this myself). You, me, and everyone else on here are likely going to continue to encounter people who say things that make us doubt some aspect about ourselves--even after the weight loss has been accomplished--so learning to tune out those whose opinions are irrelevant is a great skill to work on.

    Glad that you channelled your frustrations to positive vs. negative. Best of luck in reaching your goals!:flowerforyou:
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  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    I can say *kitten*, but not dik?

    be careful, you cant say either...people get report happy around here.
  • Hope502012
    Hope502012 Posts: 98 Member
    Don't let the behaviour of this ill-mannered thug upset you. In my experience people who have to run others down have a big problem with themselves.:huh:
  • Tashia_HH
    Tashia_HH Posts: 99 Member
    What a complete and total *kitten*!! You should have punched him in the face!
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 968 Member
    Some people are such horrible *kitten* :(

    Please dont let that man get to you hun, he is just a vile man with nothing better too nor has he got any respect.

    Big hugs xxx
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    I'm so sorry words can hurt but you'll need to do ur best to erase them. He's an idiot!
  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    I'm really sorry this happened to you. Cold and unnecessary of him. If I were the woman with him I would have been horrified by that behavior. Gross.

    Hold your head up high and move on, you are a better human being that this individual.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    *hugs* First let me say congratulations on your weight loss.

    I have had comments like that too. Unfortunately there are idiots out there who think it is okay to behave in this kind of moronic way. I'm sorry that he hurt you but he is utterly irrelevant. I'm sure if you looked at him there is something that you could have commented on about him (hair, dress, teeth etc) but you are not such a shallow idiot and/or are too well mannered to bring attention to this kind of thing.

    I completely understand how this comment made you feel but bare in mind that you are doing something about your weight, you are doing really well and working to lose it. When you've reached your target weight, this guy will still be an idiot.

    I'm sure you have a million things that your friends and family love about you and you are more to them than what you weigh. Keep up the good work and try as much as possible to put the words to the back of your head. I know that isn't always easy but remember you are strong, you are beautiful and you are working towards your goal xx
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    I totally sympthaize with you. I've had those kinds of things said about me also many times still do even at 185 pounds. guys tell me you would be prettier if you weren't so fat. if you weren't so fat you would be a great catch etc. I know how you feel. like the others say stand strong. I would love to be a friend to you by the way.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I would have coughed on him and said, "I have TB, too."

    But that is why my friends can't take me anywhere.

    Just TB? Awesome. LMAO when I read this. I love it when the right words come out of my mouth and leave my friends speechless, and I don't even know what I've done. Great advice ;)

    I live for that stunned silence after I make a remark. But I feel compelled by guilt to say, please nobody actually do this! It's probably assault and battery or something!
  • Tee2072
    Tee2072 Posts: 15
    Next time, try to say 'I can lose weight. You'll always been an insensitive *kitten*.' and then turn to the girlfriend and say 'you can do so much better. Anyone would be better.'

    Don't let him get to you.
  • anku08
    anku08 Posts: 82 Member
    I am telling you he is an ill person...
    ill with such a creepy mentality and tongue..

    These kind of people never even try thinking about the fact, that other person might be facing some health issues or emotional issue...

    But i would say there are all kin of people.. some good some bad...
    Forget the bad ones n stay motivated with the compliments you get from good people... :):flowerforyou:
  • jadesign19
    jadesign19 Posts: 512 Member
    I'm sorry that this happened to you. I can relate, if it wasn't my weight, it was something else. What was worse were the things my own mind was telling me.
    I read a powerful quote that I always remember when I hear anyone making a cruel or snarky comment. It went something like this...Dr. J Irwin (I think)

    We don't talk to others very differently than we talk to ourselves....
    I could only imagine what (his) internal dialogue must be. How badly (he) must put himself down when (he) makes "minor" offenses or "mistakes". (His) verbal "laughing joking" comment reflected (his) internal critical dialogue.

    If you think of it this way it makes you feel sorry for the a**hole, and in turn empowering yourself.:drinker:
  • JaneInKansas
    JaneInKansas Posts: 82 Member
    Next time, try to say 'I can lose weight. You'll always been an insensitive *kitten*.' and then turn to the girlfriend and say 'you can do so much better. Anyone would be better.'

    Don't let him get to you.

    This would've been a great comeback!

    I think sometimes inconsiderate remarks like this make it easier for you to be prepared in the future. I also believe that what goes around, come around. So even if you're not there to see it, something will happen to the inconsiderate person who made this comment. Hopefully, he was hugging the toilet and had a major headache the next day. Being drunk is no excuse for acting that way!
  • BrendaJaneK
    BrendaJaneK Posts: 49
    It's amazing how this man who very obviously has a very, very small one (you know) wanted to broadcast his insecurity so badly! When a jerk behaves like that, it has absolutely nothing to do with you - it's all about him.

    He's not worth your tears Lovely Lady. Feel better.
  • smwifey
    smwifey Posts: 28 Member
    Some people can be so cruel. Just remember that you can change your body but he will always be an a-hole. It is so much more important to be beautiful on the inside and he certainly is NOT. Don't be discouraged by some jerk. You are perfect and are doing a great job working on yourself.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie. Don't let that drunken insensitive pig upset you but you SHOULD HAVE lit into the dog-*kitten* b*tch with him. WOMEN create these monsters you know.

    I have a male friend who is phobic about fat women. It's from some childhood event that he NEVER addressed or sought treatment for. Same with your exp.
    That man's public display says more about HIM than it does about you. What is says to me is HE has issues - he's fkd up in his head and not only is he not treating- HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT! HOW screwed up do you have to be to not even know you're screwed up!? DON'T let some mental aberrant get inside YOUR head. YOU'RE not unstable, HE IS.
    My advice would be to try to tough up a little tho I know some ppl are too sensitive to be able to. You have to work on your snappy comebacks.
    I'd have said 'yes. I'm fat and YOU'RE STUPID. I'm working on MY ISSUES- WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE!?'
    another one I like to use is: 'does this mean the wedding is off?'
    Just letting a bully know they DON'T matter or upset you- HITTING THEM BACK WHERE THEY LIVE - is empowering.
    find HIS weak spot (he's MUCH weaker than YOU are or he wouldn't have attacked you)
    of course, that's NOT what a psychologist would recommed but then psycologists don't live in the real world anyway so who cares what they say?
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,238 Member
    Sorry you had to deal with that. Some people think being drunk gives them license to act like idiots.

    Someday when you reach your goal, someone is going to say within earshot, "Wow...she is totally hot!" So just keep on doing what you are doing and forget that moron. There's one in every room.
  • schpanks
    schpanks Posts: 468 Member
    It could be worse. You could be his girlfriend and be seen with his dumb *kitten* every day. That would be humiliating. :smile:
  • tleclair247
    tleclair247 Posts: 12
    I get the same looks and comments too. I'm really tall (6'7") and big, so they mutter them under their breath. LOL
  • calvert6183
    calvert6183 Posts: 539 Member
    Im really sorry to hear this. I know people do say mean things. Ive used to see it multiple times a week. Where I used to live, I would see this almost everyday by the prissy young women. They were so mean to strangers. THey used to push over weight people out of the way in line and say "omg, your gross fat a can stand to wait to eat, its obvous you eat too much or they would say omg, eeeew gross, dont go out in puclic, you take up too much space and are gross". I had to move, I couldnt stand how they treated people. To be honest, they were mean to everyone. LIfe will get their Kim Kardashian wannbe butt. Keep your head up and ignore them, they are just unhappy.

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