My boyfriend likes me heavier :(

You are happier now. You feel more attractive now. You are more confident now. You are more comfortable now. You love yourself more now. But has your love for him changed because you lost 10 lbs?

I don't see a reason for you to stop focusing on fitness and weight loss and loving yourself more, building your confidence, being more comfortable in your skin, and increasing your attractiveness because he is less attracted to you physically.

If you are pursuing a life long relationship with each other things are going to change over the years and physical attraction is going to take the back burner to everything else anyway. I doubt his love for you is based on 10 lbs. HIs love for you is based on your heart, spirit, soul, personality, attitude, mind, etc.

Keep up the hard work and keep loving him for all the reason's you love him and let him love you for all the reason's he loves you.. and forget about the comments.

That's my advice

Hezz

There are a million reasons why a guy would say or think that. Not a single one is healthy or conducive to a healthy relationship.

Agreed.

My first thought was insecurity, my second thought was shallow, and my third though was not worth it. I know I love my husband no matter how he looks and he says the same to me. He wants me to be healthier and happier but that comes from within, not my pants size. My husband has gained weight and lost weight and I told him, and meant it, that as long as he was happy, I was happy. I don't like bulky muscles personally, but if that made him happy, I would be happy too. That is how relationships work. Obviously this guy isn't there yet. I think dumping him outright is a little drastic but talk it out, if he keeps it up, let him go. Find someone who loves you with or without 5-10 extra lbs. Because last time I checked, weight shouldn't have much to do with what you love about your significant other.

Kat....so glad you wrote back and updated us. Sounds to me like this story will have a happy ending!! Kudos to you!!

What is his body like? Do you think that he doesn't want you to be skinnier because you're going to look at him differently? Or maybe he thinks that you'll get the "wandering eye" and leave him. Does he have sef image issues within himself that he's afraid you may leave him? My ex did that to me...HENCE the reason he's an ex. He used to get upset at me for looking and feeling better about myself. He always thought I was going to leave him. I had enough of his crap, and DID eventually leave him. Maybe try incorporating him into your exercise regimen. Maybe he'll understand why you are doing this. Just food for thought.....calorie free too! lol

Your health and body preference take precedence over his. End of story.

THIS!

Oh man.. I can relate to this for sure!

Back in '07, I lost 60lbs on Jenny Craig. My boyfriend at the time was a skinner guy. 6'1, maybe 150-160? I'm bad with guys weights.. But he was defnitely on the scrawnier side. When I hit my halfway point, he told me to stop. Asking why I thought I needed to lose more when I had already done so much, and looked great. All the while, saying he liked "thicker girls", referring to me. Not what I wanted to hear when I already felt bad about my weight. He was always supportive, but little comments like that we're definitely frustrating.

Once I got down to my smallest, 127, he became insanely jealous.. And TOLD me it was because I was thin and confident, and that he didn't think I would want to be with HIM anymore..

Eventually we broke up, but he still remains one of my best guy friends. I crawled back up to 160 (down 8lbs now though! Yay).. But he still tells me that this is where he thinks my body looks best. It's funny.. His current girlfriend lost a ton of weight dating him this past year, and he says the same thing about her. Not sure why his girlfriends keep dropping the lbs around him. Haha

Anyway.. I've been with my current bf for over 2yrs now, and he's been such a motivator. I was never at my smallest with him, but about 15lbs lighter when we first started dating. When I get excited over a pound, he's right there to tell me how proud he is. The major difference is that instead of saying "I'll always love you, but I like you at this weight more" (like my ex), he's there supporting my mental health. Whatever makes ME happy.

I totally went off on a rant there.. I guess my point was just that if you explain to your boyfriend that those comments are bringing you down, he might adjust his attitude. Like other posters have said; he might think its a way to explain that he likes you at any weight. He just isn't saying it in a supportive way, and needs to know.

I wouldn't "drop" him over that. Even with my ex, it was frustrating,but I DID speak up at let him know my weight loss was for me, not to be HIS ideal weight.. Over time, he stepped back with the comments.

Good luck! Sorry for the long post!

Your boyfriend is insecure. He's afraid that if you lose weight you'll look for someone "better" than him. I've seen this type of thing happen many times. Just reassure him that you're not going anywhere.

As a man, I agree with this. I was going to post the exact same thing. He can give you as many stories as he wants but it will boil down to this.

My initial thought is that maybe he is just worried that if you lose too much weight you will either leave him or other guys will be after you!

You do need to do what is right and what makes you happy.

My husband likes bigger women. He constantly tells me he likes me the way I am. I am not happy with the way I am, so I have been working hard to lose the weight. He is beginning to understand that when I am more happy with myself, I am more willing to do things for him :blushing:

Yesterday he called me at work and said he bought me a gift. I came home to a new scale and a sports bra! I was a little taken back at first but he bought them to help!

r u kidding me thats just crazy its so not good for your health dont let him discourage your keep it up!

Most men like curvy women and not a bag of bones. The is world of difference between slim, toned and curvy and being fat. He maybe thinks you are going to over do and turn into a bag of bones.

Its about health and fitness. He should be happy you are getting your health in order, which is the best success you can have. Ask him if he would like you in a casket sooner...Talk about eye opening....