Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

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  • kathym42
    kathym42 Posts: 26
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    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.

    LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.
    So, your mother is being wicked?
    If this is what you are saying, sever the relationship.
    Problem solved.
    Wow dude. You're kind of a douche.

    LOL..wish there was a like button here!
  • suziecue66
    suziecue66 Posts: 1,312 Member
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    My family is the exact same way. During family gatherings the temptation. . . aargh! I love chocolate chip cookies. It doesn't hurt to reward yourself. If I know that I will be in the midst of temptation I usually spend all morning preparing myself. I exercise and keep imagining a happier healthier me. By the time I finish exercising I usually have earned myself a few sweets. I am looking forward to our family reunion this weekend. Hopefully I can earn myself a great meal and a slice of cherry cream pie. :) If I were you I would sit down with your mom and explain to her how you feel about your weight and how losing weight will make you feel and look healthier.

    http://www.skinnytaste.com/2009/06/super-light-blueberry-cream-pie.html
    Looks quite good.
  • emnk5308
    emnk5308 Posts: 736
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    Day 1 of Insanity..my boyfriend brings me a Nutty Bar O.O So damn hard to say no!! =(
  • lg3703
    lg3703 Posts: 190
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    Just do what every child does when their mother or grandmother does something that annoys them or (my favorite) gives advise and tells you how wrong you're living your life .... SMILE, TAKE IT... then do whatever YOU want! Next time say " thanks mom, that's so considerate, or lovely but I'm not hungry right now." Make her feel great for doing her motherly duties ... then trash it when she leaves. =]
  • markklug
    markklug Posts: 4
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    it's tough to tell your mother no but she will understand that you are trying to do better
    for yourself. Keep your guard up Don't give into your sweet tooth.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    This is what I mean.. I've said it before, this is why I don't generally tell family I'm TRYING to lose weight. My mom comes over for dinner tonight. She brings a big bowl of cookies and a cake. It's like what the heck? She knows I don't want that junk, she knows it's hard to say no to chocolate chip cookies, but still. You'd think she'd want to help, or support me... Bleh


    and NO I didn't have any!! :laugh:

    Anyone else go through this too? It's driving me bonkers.
    So..... It bothers you when she brings cake and cookies over because you mentioned you're losing weight, but it would be perfectly OK for her to bring over cake and cookies if you don't tell her you're trying to lose weight?:huh:
  • morganmay92
    morganmay92 Posts: 78
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    UGH hate that! My family eats fast food once or twice a week and I have told them I am trying to stay AWAY from it.
  • tsh0ck
    tsh0ck Posts: 1,970 Member
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    UGH hate that! My family eats fast food once or twice a week and I have told them I am trying to stay AWAY from it.

    why?
  • laurenhefner
    laurenhefner Posts: 8
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    Ugh.. my family is sort of similar (well, my mom..). She doesn't specifically try to sabotage it - but she is condescending about it. I think she's jealous.. she likes to make snarky comments about how I'm "obsessed" with working out and eating healthy. Uh, not hardly. I generally watch waht I eat, but I often go to wineries or great restaurants, and I work out 4-5x/week. It's just.. not her, and she doesn't get it or want to.

    When I got my FitBit she was like "wow, just another way to work out even when you aren't working out." Thanks, mom.
  • lyndabw
    lyndabw Posts: 24 Member
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    oh yes,
    My hubby likes my behind just the way it is, well its need pairing down alot, its hard to just sa no but you will figure it out .
    becuase your well meaning family will not stop. HELPING you.
    :noway: :noway:
  • fatmom51
    fatmom51 Posts: 173 Member
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    It sounds very frustrating, but it also sounds like she's just trying to do what she's always done. Perhaps she thinks that "one little cookie won't hurt. You're working out and had salad for dinner, so treat yourself..." OR she has seen you diet in the past and thinks that it's only a phase you're going through, OR maybe she thinks that you're fine just the way you are (especially if you've lost some, or are already pretty close to goal, or she's heavy and thinks anyone littler than her is really thin enough), OR she's seeing her presence at your house for a meal is a special occasion and she wants to celebrate, or just feel like she's bringing something to contribute to the meal, etc.
    I agree with those who said you should say thank you, beg off on eating one now, and then just freeze them into single servings, or send them/bring them into work, or tell her that you probably won't be able to finish them before they spoil or dry out and ask that she bring most of them home to share with friends, Dad, etc.
    I've been guilty in the past of bringing desserts to family events because I like to cook and I like to show off with fancy desserts. My brother and sister-in-law don't really eat many desserts and do try to watch what they're eating. But they do enjoy a treat and they're not trying to lose weight. So typically, they'll have a small portion the day of the dinner at their house and then when I'm leaving, pack up the leftovers to send home with me because, "we're going to be out a lot this week and we'll never get around to finishing it."
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    Perhaps you ought to call her about it tomorrow and have a talk? Food says love for alot of people. You could tell her to bring fruit or something else healthy for the kids. Oatmeal cookies are pretty good. Oh well, I need to go hunt down my cookie.

    lol I have talked with her about it.

    and to people thinking she bakes!? LOL no.. she buys things to bring over. And for the kids and for me, my point is, i don't want them having much sweets either. a huge thing of cookies and a whole cake in one day is just too much. it's all going to end up going bad :(
  • MeganSchutt
    MeganSchutt Posts: 1
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    Hey, I can totally sympathize with you. My mom would do the same thing. It is so hard to say no when I am at my mom's house too. She wants to cook me all the stuff that isn't as healthy and kind of gets offended if I don't want it. She just simply doesn't realize how strict you have to be and how hard it is to lose weight. Reading this definitely is making me mentally prepare for being at her house this weekend. I would just say you are not hungry right now and I agree...send it to work.

    Good luck! It is not an easy journey!
  • almostatgoalweight
    almostatgoalweight Posts: 234 Member
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    Just eat one cookie! You can't go through life never eating another one. That is not reasonable. In fact, I may just go have one right now, if I can find one. You could have one cookie every day and still work it into your calories. Abstinence is not the answer. Staying under while finding balance with things you view as treats while meeting nutrition needs will make you a happy dieter. Just tell her, I'll save the rest for a treat later.

    This is the attitude that got a lot of people the way they were when they started mfp. Some people can't stop at one. Probably related to carb addiction. Also, what if you don't like the cookies? What if you'd rather save up your deficit and eat something you really enjoy?
  • hungrybunni
    hungrybunni Posts: 66 Member
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    If your mum is anything like mine then I agree she is having a 'go'!! I used to get the 'you should lose weight for the sake of your family' 'you should show more self control' and then when she does bring cookies it's a 'well I worked hard to get these for all of you, the least you could do is eat them'......yep, mothers are a pain!!!! One of the posts says just eat one, I'd agree as we can burn off that one cookie BUT if you are like me one leads to another to another and then they are staring at me in the mirror ON MY HIPS!!! Good luck........
  • Kara_xxx
    Kara_xxx Posts: 635 Member
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    I recently had a similar situation but I know it's not deliberate sabotage...

    A very good friend of ours is 9 months pregnant with her first due this weekend, so we went to visit them and in her typical Irish hospitality she served us scones with cream, jam & strawberries... followed by a huge Lemon Drizzle cake...

    My OH and I had a scone each with a cup of coffee, said we were full for the cake. She wrapped it up for us to take home and my OH took the cake to his office next day. I didn't have to eat it, she'll never know and my OH's colleagues were delighted... Everyone wins. :bigsmile:
  • DeadEyedSuburbanite
    DeadEyedSuburbanite Posts: 34 Member
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    Hi OP. Sorry you have so many jerks replying in your thread.

    I, for one, can relate. My mum's a bit like this. When I lived at home she'd tell me I need to lose weight then bring home chips, cake and soft drinks.

    For what it's worth, I don't think it's deliberate sabotage. In the minds of a lot of mothers, food = love and the thought process doesn't go further than that.

    If it were me and this was a habit for her, I'd give her one more warning and then start throwing these offerings into the bin while she's right there. If she gets upset, remind her that you'd already told her that cookies and cake are verboten. Hopefully she will soon get the message and stop wasting her money.

    Btw, congrats on having the resolve to say no. :flowerforyou:
  • Amandajp79
    Amandajp79 Posts: 165 Member
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    My husband does this. He knows I'm on MFP, watch what I eat and go to the gym. I will have chicken in the crock pot or literally making dinner and he says "hey! wanna just order pizza?". The other day we go to our friends and I pack my food, fruit and one of Gina's pasta salads with tomato and chicken. Everyone is enjoying what I brought as well as the steamed crabs that were there. My husband actually leaves, goes to Royal Farm and buys fried chicken!!! Hey, knock yourself out but no thank you. He is one of these guys that he can eat all kinds of food and not gain one single lb but I would think he would want to support me being healthy. I know its not that he doesn't like my cooking because he does and has for 10years he just being a pain in my butt. :explode:
  • oneoddsock
    oneoddsock Posts: 321 Member
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    I'm just pooped.

    I read that as, "I just pooped."

    D:

    I was very uncomfortable for a moment.

    Same. It made me laugh, though, I love a good breach of normal social boundaries.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Doubt she's trying to sabotage you unless she doesn't give a crap about her child and is an evil witch...which is unlikely. She just forgot.

    Congrats on resisting the temptation.

    LOL I JUST told her a couple hours before she came over.
    So, your mother is being wicked?
    If this is what you are saying, sever the relationship.
    Problem solved.

    That's just too harsh.

    Not only harsh it is ridiculous and unrealistic.

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