50 shades of grey....

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  • Sockimobi
    Sockimobi Posts: 541
    Ok... 1) Gilbert Gottfried's reading of this is AWESOME!

    2) the book now incites domestic violence : http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/fifty-shades-grey-steak-sauce-assault-171428353.html

    It's OK, she's forgiven him and they are now "friends" awww Perhaps he decided to be more like Christian Grey.
  • LilMissSunshine_
    LilMissSunshine_ Posts: 520
    Oh nozzz, not this again..

    Laters, baby!
  • Krissy_b777
    Krissy_b777 Posts: 87
    Interesting... I may read it to see what all the hoop-la is about.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    A review from Amazon.com:

    "About half way through the book, I looked up the author to see if she was a teenager. I really did because the characters are out of a 16 year old's fantasy. The main male character is a billionaire (not a millionaire but a billionaire) who speaks fluent French, is basically a concert level pianist, is a fully trained pilot, is athletic, drop dead gorgeous, tall, built perfectly with an enormous penis, and the best lover on the planet. In addition, he's not only self made but is using his money to combat world hunger. Oh yeah, and all of this at the ripe old age of 26! And on top of that, he's never working. Every second is spent having sex or texting and emailing the female character. His billions seem to have just come about by magic. It seriously feels like 2 teenage girls got together and decided to create their "dream man" and came up with Christian Grey.

    Then come the sex scenes. The first one is tolerable but as she goes on, they become so unbelievable that it becomes more laughable than erotic. She orgasms at the drop of a hat. He says her name and she orgasms. He simply touches her and she orgasms. It seems that she's climaxing on every page.

    Then there's the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering "Jeez" about something or another. Then there's the use of "shades of". He's "fifty shades of @#$%% up," "she turned 7 shades of crimson," "he's ten shades of x,y, and z." Seriously?

    The writing is just not up to par, the characters are unbelievable, and the sex verges on the comical. I don't know what happens in the remaining books and I do not intend to read them to find out. But given the maturity level of the first book, I imagine that they get married, have 2 perfect children, cure world hunger, and live happily ever after while riding into the sunset, as the female character climaxes on her horse causing her to chew her bottom lip and blush fifty shades of crimson. Jeez! "

    Pretty much sums up how I feel. Doubt I could've put it better.

    Really couldn't have said it better.
  • starla5881
    starla5881 Posts: 190 Member
    I can read better erotica for free online. And I laughed my way through all four Twilight books, so I don't really feel the need to struggle through Twilight fanfic.
  • sfarrell1359
    sfarrell1359 Posts: 63 Member
    The books are terrible, in my opinion. But addictive. The author knows how to make you want to keep reading. However, Grey as a character is horrible. I don't really understand how all the girls are like, "Ooo Greeeyyy. So dreamy and perfect!" Okay, handsome and rich I get, but also controlling with a crap ton of baggage, and kind of a suffocating jerk. I'm not sure how that's appealing at all. Also Ana always gives into to everything, despite her being a "different sort of character who will stand her ground".

    Ana had the potential to being a really cool character, until she kept giving into everything just because he sexed her and gave her googly eyes. Geez, it's just kind of demeaning.

    Edit: Also, I might be the only female in the world who has read this and thinks this way. Feel free to disagree with me, this is just my two cents.

    100% agree. Its hard when everyone around me that has read it doesn't understand where I am coming from.
  • sfarrell1359
    sfarrell1359 Posts: 63 Member
    I can't be the only woman that doesn't see a warped man with tons of baggage, and automatically thinks "Oh, yay! A project, I will fix him and he will forever be mine, so what if he mentally and physically abuses me in the process!"

    I just don't get all the women swooning over this character!

    I love that I married a well adjusted, happy man!!

    Agreed.
  • FatStoatLondon
    FatStoatLondon Posts: 197 Member
    I see this book the same way I see all romance novels.

    IQ sucking black holes encouraging unhealthy perspectives on what relationships should be.

    As always, you say it perfectly!!

    I can't top that. Disgusting stuff that's only suitable for 15 year old virgins.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Personally, I really enjoyed them and would have liked them without as much graphic sex,

    :laugh:

    I'd love to know where the "graphic sex" was. My regular old sex life is way hotter than anything that I read in that book!

    I read the first one and thought it was laughable. There was no way I was going to drop more money down on the subsequent books. Ana acted like she was twelve not twenty something. I found it very hard to believe that someone her age never had an orgasm, never masturbated and thought things like "Oh but what is that funny feeling I have down there?! Is it desire? Oh MY but it's all new and tingly feeling!!" *rolls eyes*. Really honey? You've never felt that before? Not only that but she was never properly kissed or even touched? Did she live under a rock for the majority of her life?

    I honestly think all the hype was generated from the fanfiction website that the author originally wrote her series at as a Twilight rip off. Although the story was lame, the sex -- I can't even say it was mediocre because it was just as lame as the story line -- I have to say that she did a fabulous job with the marketing. When I get published I would love to know who did the marketing for her because if I could generate that much hype and cha-ching in my pocket on my first novel I'd be pretty stoked.
  • mtaylor33557
    mtaylor33557 Posts: 542 Member
    Personally, I really enjoyed them and would have liked them without as much graphic sex,

    :laugh:

    I'd love to know where the "graphic sex" was. My regular old sex life is way hotter than anything that I read in that book!

    I read the first one and thought it was laughable. There was no way I was going to drop more money down on the subsequent books. Ana acted like she was twelve not twenty something. I found it very hard to believe that someone her age never had an orgasm, never masturbated and thought things like "Oh but what is that funny feeling I have down there?! Is it desire? Oh MY but it's all new and tingly feeling!!" *rolls eyes*. Really honey? You've never felt that before? Not only that but she was never properly kissed or even touched? Did she live under a rock for the majority of her life?

    I honestly think all the hype was generated from the fanfiction website that the author originally wrote her series at as a Twilight rip off. Although the story was lame, the sex -- I can't even say it was mediocre because it was just as lame as the story line -- I have to say that she did a fabulous job with the marketing. When I get published I would love to know who did the marketing for her because if I could generate that much hype and cha-ching in my pocket on my first novel I'd be pretty stoked.

    I agree about the marketing! It's like she became an overnight sensation over a mediocre (at best) book!
  • twinmom1993
    twinmom1993 Posts: 52
    I refused for about a month to read these books but my daughter and a friend from work talked endlessly and blushed each conversation, so i decided to read after all. I started the 1st book last night, im about 1/2 way thru now. I do enjoy reading it. it does remind me of Edward and Bella, but im not criticing for im a die hard Twilight fan. I read all 3 of those in 1 week... hope those of you that haven read 50 shades will give it a try.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    I am not having any problems with staying away from the books. They are not my thing.
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140
    I haven't read them, the fact that they are based on Twilight, a series that is already awful, was enough to convince me I'd hate it. Then a friend of mine said she read a few chapters and confirmed it was just terrible, so I think I made the right choice.
  • jily310
    jily310 Posts: 38 Member
    I loved them. The second was not ny favorite, but great reading.
  • cheercoach80
    cheercoach80 Posts: 45
    So I wasn't the only one bored and picking up on ALL the grammatical and spelling errors?? I might have tried to enjoy the books if I didn't feel like a 3rd grade English teacher picking it apart!
  • poledancing_ninja
    poledancing_ninja Posts: 271
    Yet another piece of fluffy, inaccurate portrayal of BDSM that says you need to be abused as a child or have serious personailty flaws to be wired that way... It makes me sick
  • BVannillie
    BVannillie Posts: 140


    I read the first one and thought it was laughable. There was no way I was going to drop more money down on the subsequent books. Ana acted like she was twelve not twenty something. I found it very hard to believe that someone her age never had an orgasm, never masturbated and thought things like "Oh but what is that funny feeling I have down there?! Is it desire? Oh MY but it's all new and tingly feeling!!" *rolls eyes*. Really honey? You've never felt that before? Not only that but she was never properly kissed or even touched? Did she live under a rock for the majority of her life?

    When you consider that the majority of women who read this are middle-aged, it kind of makes me sad to think that their sex lives are so dull and un-fulfilling that they have to get off to crap like that. The day I read this book will be the day I might as well get my vagina surgically sewn up, because if reading this monstrosity is better then the sex I could be having there's not point in having one any more.
  • gwenmf
    gwenmf Posts: 888 Member
    I've just started reading the first book.........
  • JPO1980
    JPO1980 Posts: 34 Member
    The books are terrible, in my opinion. But addictive. The author knows how to make you want to keep reading. However, Grey as a character is horrible. I don't really understand how all the girls are like, "Ooo Greeeyyy. So dreamy and perfect!" Okay, handsome and rich I get, but also controlling with a crap ton of baggage, and kind of a suffocating jerk. I'm not sure how that's appealing at all. Also Ana always gives into to everything, despite her being a "different sort of character who will stand her ground".

    Ana had the potential to being a really cool character, until she kept giving into everything just because he sexed her and gave her googly eyes. Geez, it's just kind of demeaning.

    Edit: Also, I might be the only female in the world who has read this and thinks this way. Feel free to disagree with me, this is just my two cents.

    Agreed - you are not alone!
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    haha...that's funny..I went through a phase where I read these erotic romance novels and the husband would ask "hows your word porn today?>" Granted he didn't care....it got me in the mood and he reaped the benefits :tongue:


    Lucky guy.... :P


    My grandmother was a very Christian woman. Still loved her romance (word porn) novels though. :P

    My Nana was the one handing me blace lace books when i was a teen :smile:
  • gemmalouise85
    gemmalouise85 Posts: 157 Member
    I liked the whole fictional story, but felt book 3 last chapter was really rushed - as without saying too much for him to get from where he was then to 3 years later feeling that way I'd loved to know what had happened in those 3 years and how he felt when certain events happened to rather the 3 years later..

    if im honest i skipped through a few sex scenes as time i got to the 3rd book I wanted toread the story and not all the sex bits as crazy as that was.

    also has anyone read twilight? i felt sometimes in certan moments she was trying pick out their characters a little too.

    good book, but rushed.
  • muzmacol
    muzmacol Posts: 358 Member
    in respect of the sex in these books, save to time and go through your partners internet history instead. Shabba. ::happy:
  • FitnFabMichelle
    FitnFabMichelle Posts: 161 Member
    Just started book 3...and so far I've thoroughly enjoyed them...thoroughly. LOL.
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
    It's just a little bit of escapism, that's all. I'm on book 3.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    I loved them. I read them on my way to and from vacation. I loved them, the sex, the drama, the underlying story, the way Ana helped change Grey(make him see a different view is how I feel). I don't wish my boyfriend was like him, but I really liked the book.

    I read that as on my way to and from the Vatican. I thought thats an odd choice of book for visiting such a holy place LOL
  • Karenannmo
    Karenannmo Posts: 118
    Not yet but I going to download the first and go from there:happy:
  • McGruber03
    McGruber03 Posts: 113 Member
    The books are terrible, in my opinion. But addictive. The author knows how to make you want to keep reading. However, Grey as a character is horrible. I don't really understand how all the girls are like, "Ooo Greeeyyy. So dreamy and perfect!" Okay, handsome and rich I get, but also controlling with a crap ton of baggage, and kind of a suffocating jerk. I'm not sure how that's appealing at all. Also Ana always gives into to everything, despite her being a "different sort of character who will stand her ground".

    Ana had the potential to being a really cool character, until she kept giving into everything just because he sexed her and gave her googly eyes. Geez, it's just kind of demeaning.

    Edit: Also, I might be the only female in the world who has read this and thinks this way. Feel free to disagree with me, this is just my two cents.

    I read the first one, and thought it was HORRIBLE writing. All of the same catch phrases over and OVER again really got on my nerves..."inner goddess, my breath hitched, his eyes were hooded, I flush, I blush". I wish I had counted how many times "inner goddess" was referenced. I love to read, and I always read what is popular just to see what all the fuss is about. I regretted this read. I will not be wasting my precious time on 2 and 3. I honestly felt like this was written by a 12 year old who happened to know too much about sex. There are plenty of books with sex in the story line that are way better than this. I could go on and on, but I'll stop now. I am still pissed at myself for even finishing the first one and wasting my time.
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
    They are awful books...terribly written and extremely overrated. None of the three of them should have made it past the editor's desk. And, can I please by the author a thesaurus? Shakespeare must be turning in his grave.

    I'm just thinking that if you're all caught up in the soft core porn in these novels and wishing your signifiant other was more like Christian Grey, then you're not doing something right in the bedroom. Liven things up! Don't be stagnant! Take control of your sex! It doesn't have to just be up/down, in/out!!!

    Oh, and read the Marquis de Sade...now THAT is some crazy good porn! :drinker:
  • amyjax
    amyjax Posts: 102
    They are easily the worst books I've ever read.

    I totally get the "addictive" quality everyone's mentioning, though. I had to keep reading them, just on the off chance that they maybe got better... but no.

    Christian Grey isn't swoonsome or dreamy or perfect - he's an abuser, and I'm not talking about the BDSM at all. He effectively stalks, controls and changes Anastasia, down to the food she eats and at one point when she can pee(!). Ana is the weakest character, stereotypically clumsy, and goes from uber-virginal (down to NEVER having masturbated in her life) to being capable of multiple orgasms from the second her hymen is broken.

    EL James has admitted she's never researched BDSM at all, saying that she met one guy who was into it and he was a bit of a freak, so that's how she decided to portray it.

    The books are trash, pure and simple, and the number of women wishing their men were more like Grey make me want to puke.
  • dyskras
    dyskras Posts: 54
    I see this book the same way I see all romance novels.

    IQ sucking black holes encouraging unhealthy perspectives on what relationships should be.

    I love you so much.
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