Family is trying to sabotage my 'diet'

It was a legit question to see if anyone else goes through it as well, I wasn't exactly sniveling? Just saying. She knows it's hard for me, and I asked her to stop doing this all the time, I don't want my kids eating so much sweets either.

Don't worry, I've noticed that Bobby seems pretty snippy on other posts too, so it's not just you. About the just eating 1 cookie, I can't eat just one. That's how I got to be overweight in the first place, that and 4 kids anyway! But yeah, it's better to avoid the that first one and start the sugar frenzy!

This ^

I am the same, I *could* eat just one, but I would end up keep thinking about it and would want more. That craving only disappears once I go to sleep and wake up in the morning. God know why it works that way LOL

The only person that can sabotage your diet is you. That's like saying "I went to the grocery store today and they had big bags of M&Ms on sale. Don't they know I love M&Ms but they tempt me with them anyway."

The difference is that the M&Ms can't jump in the cart without your cooperation, and they don't follow you home and repeatedly shove themselves into your face saying "oh, just have one, what could it hurt?" like her mom is doing.

The cookies don't jump out of the bowl and into her mouth, either. Tell her Mom what it does hurt. Her pride, her diet, her well being. The truth sometimes hurts, but it is usually the best thing to say.

Like Bobby said, is she comes to the door with cookies, don't answer the door.

Good grief! How idealistic some people's lives are.

Do you live all of your life this way? Not being funny, but what you suggest is totally unrealistic and would end up causing great rifts amonst familes.

You keep getting solutions that work, but to you, it's all so "unrealistic"...:laugh: :laugh:

Is it such a stretch that not everybody is willing to pander to the absurd notions of other daft people?
Here's the deal.
I have lots of supportive people in my life.
And those who are NOT supportive, I cut off, and that includes family and life-long friends.
OFF WITH THEIR HEADS
And some have gone their way while others have come back, hat in hand, totally willing to respect my boundaries.
That is how it works for self-empowered people.
I make the rules.
You follow my rules, or get out of my life.:drinker:

Blimey BC calm down, you'll burst a blood vessel!!!!

Just got one thing to say, I would never be in your life, you are too rigid for my liking and too controlling. What's with all the shouting? Are you ok?

You are not as self-empowered as you like to think you are actually, you are actually controlled by your emotions and everytime it comes across in your postings. You think you are in control but you react in the same way everytime.

You call other people daft and yet your ideas are the daftest of all to some other people.

Continue cutting and culling in the end everybody you had close will be gone because there is only far you can push people as the OP is finding when continually trying to tell her mother not to bring crap into the house. I do think, however, it is highly unlikely she will just cut her mother out of her life because of some crap food, that would be very "over-the-top" and unwarranted.

Then I go back to my original post which is suck it up, and stop sniveling.
Seriously, life is just not this complicated.
I know the echo chamber likes drama, so have at it.

maybe it is just old habits that are hard to break on her part and also sometimes parents don't see our faults and they don't think we need to lose weight . They love us the way we are, maybe too much sometimes.

If your mom is also overweight or has been round the yo-yo diet bandwagon all I can say is 'misery loves company'. Sometimes mothers can also be jealous of their children's success-specially a daughter doing well on a diet.
Been there..and I know exactly how they try to play the offended card when you refuse the junk food they so prepared with love for you. Bullcrap!
It also goes for any other family member..sorry to say it's the way it goes for some people. Most of my family was never supportive of my weight loss so this is the reason I have only told one of my sisters who has been supportive and is genuinely happy with my success.

I say next time this happens really have a conversation with your mom and send her back out the door with her cookies and cake. Say thank you but this is important to me and I need you to either support me or at least not try to hinder my success. It's worth a shot!

After a while you will become immune to the temptation and it won't bother you so much when people offer you things you do not want to eat. At least that's what happened to me. The other day I was grocery shopping with my husband and as we were standing in the checkout line, I remarked that the sight of all the candy and junk right there meant absolutely nothing to me. I didn't want any, I didn't feel tempted by it, there was no inner battle not to buy any. I was at a family reunion recently and same thing. I easily could pick and choose what I wanted. I did have a small piece of cake and it was ok, but there was no inner battle not to go back for more. When people repeatedly offered me soda and chips and cookies and more cake, I simply declined.

You already have will power, you just need to develop it and make it stronger. It's like muscles, you already have them, but perhaps they are weak and you need to make them stronger. No one else controls you but you, so know that and own your power. Just start saying no. You don't even have to explain. Mom brings over cookies/cake/whatever junk? Just say No thanks.

My big trigger is peanut butter. I now only allow myself to have it twice a year. However that may change as I realized I have lost much of my angst about it. I now can walk into the kitchen, see the jar of it on top of the fridge, and it means little to me. I no longer have that inner battle not to go crazy with it. So I may start eating it in small amounts more frequently than twice a year. Peanut butter used to drive me into a feeding frenzy LOL.

My mom bring sweets over all the time and when I asked her not to she said, "they are for the kids, just don't eat any." To make it worse she said she cannot keep them in her house because she will eat them... ARGH

My mom doesn't do stuf flike that but she keeps telling me that she's convinced I have an eating disorder. Because I have lost 6 pounds in 2 months..

haha ruth! I might have one, but since I'm skipping my workout later, I dunno. I'm just pooped, i want my mom to go home so i can get my kids to bed and go myself lol

If you have kids then it wasn't really meant for you or to sabotage your diet. I know we always have some sort of dessert at family get togethers (and we have these a lot) and it's your choice to have it or not....unless she is forcing you to eat it.

I usually sneak out and put the cake and desserts right back in their car! or have your spouse do it. It's a nasty trick, but hey, "right back at ya" is what that says. LOL!

^^This

And that VV

I would laugh and accept the big bowl of cookies and cake and tell mom, "Hey thanks so much, but I've eating healthy these days. "But, I'll donate your cookies and cake to the local food share ~ I'm sure they will enjoy them." I doubt she'll keep bringing over such treats.

Also, what another poster said about getting to the point where you just throw the cookies and cake in the trash in front of her.


I understand that you are upset about the lack of respect. Those suggestions do not bring about a solution to the complete and utter disregard for your lifestyle choices. Maybe if they are done enough times, she will finally stop doing what she's doing. If she gets upset about you acting in such a manner, tell her you have already had conversations with her regarding your new lifestyle and she kept blatantly ignoring this, so this is the solution you came up with. You're her child, but you're also an adult and deserve to speak to her like one.

The whole world does not revolve around you and your diet.
Buck up!
Either control yourself around other people at dinner, or cancel all such events.
That is what I did except on my "free day".
I can't control myself. PERIOD!
And that means I no longer do family dinners or parties or anything except that one special day in the week where I can join the food orgy.
Do what you think is best, but again, don't snivel over people who are just being who they are.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

man what a ****

You eating the junk in her mind justifies HER diet. Nobody likes to be the only unhealthy one in the group, so she will try to outcast you until you conform so she'll feel a little bit less alone in her bad eating habits. It's a lot like jealousy, really.

It's very selfish.

Good for you for not having any cake and cookies. You should just ask you mom not to bring anything over because it is tempting for you, if that does not work, dont invite her over intill your ready to have a cookie or peice of cake.

I mentioned to my mother I wanted to lose weight and tone up and basically told me I was being selfish for spending money on a gym membership and putting my daughter in day care for another hour a day. Made me feel like crap.

Well it was NOT crap for you to do this. Did you end up doing what you wanted to do or not?

I posted about my mom bringing junk food and being offended when I told her several times "no thank you"...

Well I saw her the other day and she made the comment that I am obsessed with exercise. I have just started taking pole dancing classes (fitness). First of all, she thinks it is a stripper class (and it is far from it, lots of hard work and nothing sexy about it... at least not yet..haha)... Anyways, she said that my older brother and I are obsessed with healthy stuff and with exercise and we definitely don't get it from her... Then she states "well, I guess I would if I had the time". She made these comments several times throughout the day. I typically try to make a joke and move on. But sometimes it is hurtful that a loved one cannot support you when you are trying to make better decisions.

So.. I've been on a pseudo bffm diet for a few months now & lost 3 kg. At first my sister and Grandma told me several times that I need to loose weight. After I lost like a kg, they said I look great. But while my grandma keep on encouraging me. My sis seem to get jealous, three days ago she visited me at work & asked if I need something from the store. I asked for a drink. I got a coffee milk drink and candy. I did eat it, but thankfully it was a very small stuff so I just skipped a meal later. 'bleh'