Parents of teenage girls

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  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
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    I have a now 16 year old daughter and I've been in your shoes... heck, I'm still there as I have three girls. At thirteen I would take my daughter and select friend or cousin (chosen and screened by me, and knowing the parents) to the mall and I would stay in the mall and shop. She has a cell phone and I would call and text her regularly. It's been that way up until just recently. She's old enough to drive now but still only has her temporary license. Once she gets her permanent license and car, I will still be picky as to who she is with and where she goes. It's tough but necessary to be cautious yet give them some room to grow and learn. Trust your instincts, you were that age once. Good luck. :)
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    Do you let your 13 year old go to the mall with her girlfriend by themselves? Am I being too paranoid saying no over and over again??

    I'll sit in the food court while my 12 year old and her friend wander around and shop. I won't drop her off and come back 2 hours later and get her. I'll watch one movie that starts at same time while her and friend are in different movie at same theatre. Won't drop her off and come back and pick her up. But will probably go to that next year as she's mature, gets great grades and doesn't do stupid dangerous things or try to sneak things by me.
  • Esther50
    Esther50 Posts: 252
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    Never!
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
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    How about you both go.
    She goes her way and you go your way. Have it set up that she checks in every so often.
    That way shes by herself but yet shes not.


    Exactly what my mom did with me.
  • Dr229
    Dr229 Posts: 39 Member
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    MY DAUGHTER IS 14 AND NO SHE CANNOT GO TO THE MALL ALONE WITH HER FRIENDS. SHE IS ALLOWED OTO WALK THE MALL WITH HER FRIENDS WITHOUT ME BEING WITH THEM BUT ALONE IN A CAR OR ON THE BUS NO NO NO! YOU ARE NOT BEING TOO STRICT AND YOU ARE CERTAINLY A GREAT RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    You are being a parent. Too often, parents like to give their kids their "space" and soon become ... Grandparents. That being said, they are testing their limits... Be firm. These are formative years and years that you have to be strong.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Do you let your 13 year old go to the mall with her girlfriend by themselves? Am I being too paranoid saying no over and over again??

    This is actually partly why my last girlfriend and I split up. She let her daughter (13) run rampant...and has for years, my daughter (14) has rules and is made to follow them.

    Her daughter has emotional issues (and is seeing a specialist for it), stemming directly from no structure in her life, and a feeling of being overwhelmed.

    Mine...well, doesn't.

    Stick to your guns Mom...you're doing the right thing.
  • TurtleRunnerNC
    TurtleRunnerNC Posts: 768 Member
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    Nope. Not a chance.
  • Nanadena
    Nanadena Posts: 739 Member
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    1st off, we live in the country now where near a mall. 2nd If we lived near one NO WAY!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    My mom let me go to the mall by myself when I was 13, and I turned out fine :) She knew my friends and their families decently well, so she trusted that we were actually going to be shopping. We only went shopping during the daytime, when there were a lot of moms and kids out and about, so it felt pretty safe. My mom and I were pretty close during my teenage years, and I really appreciated that she trusted me enough to let me hang out with friends alone.
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    ive worked at a mall for the past year and so far ive 'seen' a young boy get molested, one stolen, and one got tricked into stripping because someone lied and said they were a mall cop. i wouldnt let my child (if i had one) go in the city that i now live in. i may have where i used to live. whe i was in 8th grade i was dating a junior in highschool and doing what ever i wanted... i turned out pretty goood years later. children need rules though.
  • kmuree
    kmuree Posts: 283 Member
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    I'm not a mother, but my mama let me go when I was 13 to the mall, to walk around the town -

    with extremely frequent check-in's. She got more protective as I got older. The world gets uglier and uglier.

    When I have a daughter, no way in hell is she going out at that age. I remember getting spoken to crudely by older guys and whistled at. :huh: It's a dangerous world out there, and I wasn't mature enough at 13 or wise enough to know how to protect myself.

    Stand your ground, mama! :heart:
  • thepanttherlady
    thepanttherlady Posts: 258 Member
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    I think young teens need (if earned/deserved) a little room on the leash but with restrictions. As they get older, there is more room and less restrictions to be earned.

    If she has earned or deserves to hang out at the mall with a girlfriend then take her there. Let them roam and window shop (or whatever they're doing) while you do other things there, but set guidelines, such as they have to check in with you at set time and place. This shows her you trust her while giving her the opportunity to prove she can follow your rules.

    I'd also make sure she has a cell phone with her. :)
  • xoxosarinaxoxo
    xoxosarinaxoxo Posts: 22 Member
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    LET HER GO
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    Do you let your 13 year old go to the mall with her girlfriend by themselves? Am I being too paranoid saying no over and over again??

    13 is a no unless I'm going to be in the area. They can walk around with their friend if I'm there but they're not visiting and just hanging out alone.
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    That iillegal here, so i would suggest checking with your local laws. They have to be with an adult.

    That being said.. HELL NO. Maybe im too overprotective, but my children wont be abducted, raped, beaten up or pressured into stealing, getting into a car with someone they dont know, smoking, ect.

    So, no.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    I have a 14yo daughter and a 19yo son. The first time I let my daughter go off by herself at a local mall (2 stories) and it lasted all of 10 minutes. She didn't want to be by herself. That's since changed. Another time I let her hang out at another mall (smaller) with a friend and I was not there. She has a cell phone and I heard from her frequently.

    I also let my son, at 14, go by himself to Busch Gardens for the day. He had a cell phone and I heard from him frequently. He just rode coasters all day and had a great time.

    Both of my kids are very independent, thank goodness.
  • braggsalot
    braggsalot Posts: 41 Member
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    Yes I let my teenage daughter go to the mall with her friends when she was 13 years old. I would take her and drop her off for a few hours and she is perfectly fine. I will say I don't live in a large city though. If I lived somewhere like Chicago/Dallas, I would have stayed at the mall with her and let her go on her own with her friends but I would be there. She also had a cell phone.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Not a parent, but when I was 13 I was allowed to go with my equal-aged friends to the mall, no parental supervision, and this was before both my mother and I had cellphones. We were however given a time slot and we would have to meet her in the food court at such-and-such a time and if we didn't you could bet security was looking for us. Nothing bad ever happened to us, but this was the early 2000s and it wasn't exactly a large mall so security was always somewhere.

    At most you could hole up on a bench somewhere with a book while they walk around, I guess. But if you're not comfortable with it (and I can understand why) then just continue saying no. It won't kill her, she won't hold a grudge against you forever, and eventually she'll grow the brain cells needed to see your perspective as well as hers.
  • angel4evergvng
    angel4evergvng Posts: 46 Member
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    my baby girl turns 13 tomorrow.... and no way in gods green earth would i let her walk around a mall with a bunch of strange crazy people!!!
    i would be there to make sure she/ they were safe and no one messed with them.... gotta in this day and age with all these weirdos and perverts and such....
    i love my kids and care about them too much to risk anything happening.... because once it happens you cant go back and prevent it.....
    follow your gut and stick to your guns....

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