Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.
alleycat88
Posts: 756 Member
in Chit-Chat
Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?
Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"
I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.
I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.
Sorry it's so long.
Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"
I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.
I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.
Sorry it's so long.
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Replies
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I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!0
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What a *kitten*!!! Find someone who loves you for you.0
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Wow drop the guy.0
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That's very rude.0
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^this. Even if you hit your goal weight, he will always want you smaller. Trust me, I was with a guy like that who wanted me to be a certain weight and would make little digs when I wasn't. It only gets worse. You very pretty, you can do better! Find a man who appreciates your beauty!!0
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I wouldn't be moving anywhere for him!0
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Yep if this had happened to me I would now be single and looking for someone less shallow and worthy of my time and effort....what a douche!0
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Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?
Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"
I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.
I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.
Sorry it's so long.
MOTHER F*CKER! You deserve someone who loves you for WHO YOU ARE, not what you could be. You seem awesome and gorgeous! Screw that fuzz......0 -
5,000 miles apart makes it easier to not miss him when he is your ex. Give him points for being honest, but seriously???? BYEBYE!!!!0
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He sounds like a jerk. You can drop a few pounds by getting rid of a sandbag like him.0
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And you are moving back why? Hopefully not for him!0
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I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!
DITTO!!0 -
RUN, don't walk. He will never treat you as you deserve to be treated.0
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Please don't give up eating better and exercising, but definetely get rid of the guy.0
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Just. Say. No.
You should be treated with more respect than that. There is something to be said for honesty, but that guy is a butthead 0 -
I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!
I sort of agree with this and I say sort of because I dont know him at all but based on this he's an *kitten*. You don't deserve that, and I think you should tell him to F off!0 -
sorry, but I would be rethinking the "move" if its to be with him only- seriously.0
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What a jerk! You are taking care of you - if he doesn't find you attractive- run away.0
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could understand if he had said it and you were 300lbs, but 140.... get rid! x0
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You need to find someone that is attracted to all of you- personality and body- not just body!
Please take a second look at this relationship and make sure it is what you want.0 -
That is a horrible thing to say to someone! "i'm not attracted to you because of your weight" What a douche! If you started picking imaginary flaws in him I'm sure he wouldn't be so cocky!
(also, hey from another ex swimmer! :drinker: )0 -
I think you would do well to loose him first what a creep,if you want to loose weight do it for you not some mean minded bum hole like that.0
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Woahhhh, that's a serious jerk. I would leave him immediately if my boyfriend said that to me. Nobody deserves to be put down like that.0
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Kick him to the curb. Don't lose weight for him. Lose weight for yourself if that is what you YOU want to do. You need a partner who adores you and finds you gorgeous and sexy nomater what your weight. Dating can lead to marriage, babies, lots of body changes...and you need someone who will support you through that.
I have had three kids, and I'm about 25 pounds heavier than I was when I met my husband. My belly has stretch marks on it from my pregnancies, my boobs are no longer perky. But you know what? My husband is crazy about me and he tells me that I'm "sexy as hell." I am here to lose weight for ME, not for him, and it feels amazing to know that he finds me beautiful nomater what. You deserve that kind of devotion, too!0 -
And that's the reason I always disliked having male friends, well I do had but not many. I hate how the can be so superficial and di**.
Please tell us you are ditching him, you really need to find someone who love you for what you are and not for what you can be.
And about being 17 body shape hell no! My wife always talked about that and I tell her 'If you get so skinny I'll fill divorce!' haha just kidding but nono please no girls understand you are not supposed to be that way.0 -
So not ok. You should never let anyone talk to you that way. That's emotionally abusive. Move on, because something here is broken.
Think about it. What happens if you stay together and get pregnant? What if you get sick? Do you always want to live in fear about what he is going to say, or even do, if you don't stay within his ideal image of you? That's just not healthy - you can do better than that.0 -
I would not change my life and move to where he is living. Sounds like a crappy man to me.0
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He was just being honest.
Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:0 -
I wouldn't be moving anywhere for him!
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^^^^^What she said!^^^ He clearly does not deserve you!I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!0
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