Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

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Replies

  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    He was just being honest.
    Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
    Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
    When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    Wrong. I'm sorry, there's honesty and then there is something more sinister. I put this in the more sinister camp. No woman, no matter how much they work out, is going to have the same body shape as they did when they were a teenager. I didn't have boobs until I got to college.

    There are about 1,000,013 ways to encourage someone to get healthy and I guarantee his way is not it.
  • lmarshel
    lmarshel Posts: 674 Member
    What a *kitten*!!! Find someone who loves you for you.

    Exactly!! Anyone who's willing to tell you openly that they're not attracted to you obviously does not love you and care about your feelings. Get out while the gettin's good, sister!
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
    there has got to be someone closer by and not so damn nasty, drop the lbs and then drop he *kitten*!!!!! you dont deserve that!!!
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    He's and *kitten*
    Drop him
  • jayray1980
    jayray1980 Posts: 31
    #1) what a jerk! #2) I know its about your personal goals for your body but I WOULD LOVE to have the figure you have RIGHT NOW. Hell you look like I would like to look at goal.

    I hope you find happiness and dont let him get you down. Whatever goals you have should be for you, not anyone else.
  • Lesley2901
    Lesley2901 Posts: 372 Member
    My answer would be "I thought you had some great features but I don't find myself attracted to you because of your personality, I don't see any potential in you and I see that you are a lot less intelligent than I thought you were"
  • shawnakuipery
    shawnakuipery Posts: 39 Member
    I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!

    AGREED .
  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    Kick him to the curb. Don't lose weight for him. Lose weight for yourself if that is what you YOU want to do. You need a partner who adores you and finds you gorgeous and sexy nomater what your weight. Dating can lead to marriage, babies, lots of body changes...and you need someone who will support you through that.

    I have had three kids, and I'm about 25 pounds heavier than I was when I met my husband. My belly has stretch marks on it from my pregnancies, my boobs are no longer perky. But you know what? My husband is crazy about me and he tells me that I'm "sexy as hell." I am here to lose weight for ME, not for him, and it feels amazing to know that he finds me beautiful nomater what. You deserve that kind of devotion, too!

    This^^^ I am currently 320lbs and my hubby tells me I beautiful every day!!!
  • CJK1959
    CJK1959 Posts: 279 Member
    I would say "buh bye"...You don't need someone who "might be more attracted to you if you look like you did when you were 17" You deserve someone who loves and cherishes you and obviously, this is not him! Love who you are sister....
  • ShiloughCoy
    ShiloughCoy Posts: 73
    I would calmly explain to him that you think he has great features too, and while you don't find him attractive anymore because of what a terribly shallow person you've recently found him to be, you see potential in him if he could only be a completely different person. And then say goodbye.

    For good.
  • drkatiebug
    drkatiebug Posts: 1,982 Member
    My suggestion:

    Dear ExBF: You have great features, but I don't find myself attracted to you because of your attitude. I don't see potential in you and when I think about moving 5000 miles to live with that attitude for the rest of my life, I just can't see it happening.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    Move along. Rather. . . RUN!!!

    Find a man who loves and cherishes WHO you are, not what you LOOK like.

    Seriously. . . . RUN!!!!!
  • csorenson22
    csorenson22 Posts: 23 Member
    Wow, he is disgusting. Drop the guy, then finish your goal. Nothing will feel better than knowing he's out there wondering about you and you're killing the pounds and the dating scene. Plus, this sounds like a power move on his part, trying to break you down.

    I met my husband when I was (5'9") 135-140 lbs. I've slowly gained and lost weight and been as high as 202 lbs. My husband has been nothing but supportive. He helps me by supporting and encouraging me, and doesn't critisize me when I gain or have a bad eating day. He just provides continuous support. He wants me to be healthy, no matter what. When he encouraged me to quit smoking, I told him I didn't want to and I'd probably gain weight. But he didn't care at all about weight gain, he just wanted me to quit smoking. The point is, the right guy, loves you for you. Period.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    I would calmly explain to him that you think he has great features too, and while you don't find him attractive anymore because of what a terribly shallow person you've recently found him to be, you see potential in him if he could only be a completely different person. And then say goodbye.

    For good.




    THIS!!!!!
  • TISH27kidneytransplant
    TISH27kidneytransplant Posts: 69
    He was just being honest.
    Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
    Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
    When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
    The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
    Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    ha! I tell my hubby to shutup and that he's lying all the time! and he never does, so what is that all about? hmmm. Is he still lying? what a load of crap!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Wow. To each their own attraction-wise, but he sounds like a total jerk. I hope you lose him and not excessive amounts of weight.
  • summer8it
    summer8it Posts: 433 Member
    Don't let it damage your motivation. This journey is about YOU and being the healthiest, strongest, fittest person you can be. The way you look on the outside is just a bonus.

    Someone who truly loves you will find you attractive because of who you are, not what size you are.
  • elle18287
    elle18287 Posts: 267 Member
    Please do not think for a moment, that just because you are over weigh, you are unattractive.
    Your boyfriend is an *kitten* hole. The end.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    Wow!! This guy is an *kitten*. So not worth the aggravation of the long distance relationship. Find someone in your state that will treat you with respect and love you for who you are. And look at you....he's got you programmed to think that this is YOUR problem..that you have to step up your game in regards to weight loss. Honey you are not overweight and even if you were...he's treating you poorly. The last thing you want to do is over turn your life to move out by him.

    Your problem is not a few extra pounds...your problem is a bad boyfriend.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
    It doesn't matter if you lose the weight or not. He does not love you for who you are, and it will always be this way even WHEN you do lose the weight. Please be smart and don't move 5,000 miles away to be with someone who will never care for who you are. It's not worth it and you will only be miserable. Find someone who loves every inch of you because they love who you are. My Fiance supports me so much in my weight loss, however, I know that if I ended up staying the same, or even gained more, I know he would still love me because he loves WHO I am, and not what I look like. Find someone that tells you your beautiful no matter what you look like.
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    I wouldn't say leave him because if you really care about him I am not going to be a *kitten* and tell you to tell him to get the *kitten* out of your life. You may need to clarify your stern stance on what you really think about what he said and based on how he chooses to accept you then make a decision for yourself.
  • mistigoodwin
    mistigoodwin Posts: 411 Member
    That's so f'n RUDE!!!! I say use his rudeness as motivation!!! Dump his *kitten*!!! You'll get through your plateau! Once you get to your goal, send him a pic of what he could've had!!
  • paintlisapurple
    paintlisapurple Posts: 982 Member
    What a shallow jerk! (sigh)

    I sure hope you took one of your "muscular" legs and booted his butt out the door!

    Please don't let him ruin your motivation to be healthy.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    If I was with someone who couldn't accept me for I am right now I wouldn't be with them. You need to drop him and not move with him so he can't treat you like that all the time.
  • mariel12982
    mariel12982 Posts: 13
    Can you say "EX BOYFRIEND"! Keep you chin up hun :flowerforyou:
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    Since he wants to be all superficial and judgmental, tell him you'll be losing those few extra inches when he grows a few inches...in a certain area. :laugh:
  • PhotogNerd
    PhotogNerd Posts: 420 Member
    I hope you told him (or will in the near future) that you have now seen his potential to be a colossal *kitten*.


    Good thing you haven't moved 5000 miles away yet.

    Find...someone...new! For the love of all that is holy.
  • alleycat88
    alleycat88 Posts: 756 Member
    LOL

    Some of the replies really put a smile on my face, and you guys are all right, and I agree with every single one of you.

    Just to be clear I am not moving FOR him. I have been on an assignment abroad and will be until the end of September, so come 9/27 it's time to move back home.

    Thanks to everyone for their kind words
  • RikanSoulja
    RikanSoulja Posts: 463 Member
    Wow. It seems like everyone on here is super sensitive... just wow
  • mistymamas
    mistymamas Posts: 36 Member
    He was just being honest.
    Most guys would never do that. Use this as a way to set goals and strive for your own ideal.
    Optimal body fat for a lady is around 20%, and as for weight, just fit yourself in the BMI range.
    When we are fat, and our SO says we are beautiful, they're lying.
    Sometimes the truth hurts, but pain makes us stronger.
    The echo chamber will tell you to ditch him but guess what?
    Every other guy will feel the same way. They just lie better.
    Good Luck :flowerforyou:

    I respectfully disagree. Did you go to her profile and view her body picture? She is not fat at AAAALLLLLL. Her boyfriend is a ****.
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