Who should pay when dating? men/women/both

Options
24567

Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Options
    Who asks, pays. Offering dutch, or one picking up the food, the other drinks, is also good.

    I always offered to pay my share when asked out, but I only INSISTED on paying my share if the date was going horrible and I knew I'd never want to see the guy again. I didn't want to feel in any way indebted.
  • Darkskinned88
    Darkskinned88 Posts: 1,177 Member
    Options
    I always go in with the expectation of paying for my own meal/drinks.

    But I don't date women so it's a little different.

    This is something I wondered about?!!? When it's two men do you just pay for your own stuff or take turns paying?

    two dudes pay for their own, unless someone owes the other money #guycode.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    Options
    The man pays, always! Old fashioned or whatever, but we'll raise our boys to be the buyers. :)
  • UhOhItsKylie
    UhOhItsKylie Posts: 92 Member
    Options
    My husband (then boyfriend) paid the first few times we went out, but after we officially became a "couple" we started switching off. I would pay one time, he'd pay the next, and so forth. I don't think I could handle being with someone who paid all the time. I'd feel inferior or something, lol.

    Even now that we are married and sharing our finances, I've noticed that he and I will switch off who's debit card we pay with - even though it's linked to the same account. ;)
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
    Options
    With the guys I've dated I have always just agreed that we would take turns.
    I hate splitting the bill. Too much math, haha.
    Just taking turns is way easier.

    I think if I would let a guy pay all the time I would just end up feeling guilty.
    I've got a job too, so it's not like I can't afford dinner.
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
    Options
    I always go in with the expectation of paying for my own meal/drinks.

    But I don't date women so it's a little different.

    This is something I wondered about?!!? When it's two men do you just pay for your own stuff or take turns paying?

    two dudes pay for their own, unless someone owes the other money #guycode.

    i think the question is regarding to the OTHER guy code lol
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    Options
    Split the cost. Or... the man pays for the meal.. and I'll buy the drinks after. ;)
  • CajunNino
    CajunNino Posts: 269
    Options
    "Men pay. Always."
    I notice most of the women don't mind THIS old fashioned, unspoken rule. Funny to me.
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
    Options
    "Men pay. Always."
    I notice most of the women don't mind THIS old fashioned, unspoken rule. Funny to me.
    Hah, yeah. We demand equality then come out with crap like this.
  • hkevans724
    hkevans724 Posts: 241 Member
    Options
    I always go in with the expectation of paying for my own meal/drinks.

    But I don't date women so it's a little different.

    This is something I wondered about?!!? When it's two men do you just pay for your own stuff or take turns paying?

    two dudes pay for their own, unless someone owes the other money #guycode.

    i think the question is regarding to the OTHER guy code lol

    Yes, I meant if it's a date :)
  • vvanm
    vvanm Posts: 157
    Options
    If I am asked out I always offer to contribute to the check. I like to know I'm with a generous guy who can afford to pay for a meal however. If I wanted to keep the relationship balanced, I would offer to cook dinner, choose mostly affordable places and not order the most expensive thing on the menu unless it was a special occasion. If I was asked to go dutch, or pay the check, I think he would fall into the friend category.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    The polite thing is for the woman to offer to pay at least her share, but if the man refuses then just say thank you to avoid emasculating the guy.
  • _Sara_A_
    _Sara_A_ Posts: 113 Member
    Options
    I've been in both situations, where the guy pays and where we each pay. Most times where we've each paid, the guy ends up buying me something later on that I point out that I like.
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    Options
    I am old fashioned the guy asks the girl out he should pay
  • Nickstery
    Nickstery Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    First date or two I will buy, buy it is welcomed when the women opts to pay for something, or wants to split the cost like between buying dinner and then paying for tickets... one or the other.
  • SpazzyMal
    SpazzyMal Posts: 276 Member
    Options
    It's so weird that a lot of women claim they don't like old-fashioned rules, but then they turn around and want the man to pay for everything... which this came about because in the past women were not allowed to own money and were property of their fathers, so the man HAD to pay. In this day and age, I think it's most appropriate to respect women's rights and go dutch, or trade off paying for dates, to create a solid and even footing for the remainder of the relationship.

    I guess I will never have to worry about this particular problem though, since I'm a lesbian.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    The man pays, always! Old fashioned or whatever, but we'll raise our boys to be the buyers. :)
    Yes, my boy will become a buyer:)
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    Options
    I've seen this topic a few times... it seems in the Midwest, East coast, and West coast, the women are more open to 50/50. In the South the guys pay... that is just based off the answers I've seen on MFP.
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    No fence riding for me. The man pays.
    Why? :huh:

    It's been so long since I dated, but if I offered to take someone out for dinner and I chose the restaurant, then I'd pay, and we'd usually share rounds on any pre/post-dinner drinks.

    If we met for a drink and decided to go out for a meal, then we'd split the bill.

    It's a total nonsense for a woman to expect a man to pay for everything on a date, especially in this day and age when we're supposed to have equality and in some cases a woman may earn far more than a man.

    I guess being gay it's more or a level playing field, but I would never have gone on a date with the assumption that everything was going to be paid for!
  • twaltemade
    twaltemade Posts: 68 Member
    Options
    I usually pay, because the pimps get pretty pissed when I don't.

    Now THAT'S funny!!

    I think the first date or two should be on whomever asked the other out. After that, sharing the bills or alternating tabs just shows respect for the other person.

Categories