Curly hair isn't sexy?

InnerFatGirl
InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
in Chit-Chat
This has been on my mind for a while now, and I just wanted to express myself, and perhaps get some other people's opinions/thoughts on the matter.

All my life, whenever I straighten my hair, I get told it looks better. Or I should do it more often. When I look to the media, there's negative curly stereotypes everywhere, and curly hair is often representated only by wavy hair or artificially curled hair. We get told that our hair is hard work, or hear other curlies tell everyone curly hair is a nightmare. I constantly hear other curlies say they straighten their hair daily, and that they hate their curly hair.

I feel I am treated better when my hair is straightened, found to be more attractive. Taken more seriously. I am attracted to white men, and I get more looks from them when my hair is straight.

I am told my curly hair makes me look 'fun', cute, open. I am not told it makes me look sexy or seductive.

When I have seen men asked which they prefer, an overwhelming majority say they prefer straight hair, or loose curls.

I love my curls, but I am starting to feel insecure about them. Me, of all people. I sometimes crave straight hair, and I don't know why. I refuse to use any heat on my hair anymore, because the heat damaged a few curls and left them looser, even though I take very good care of my hair and flat iron to a minimum.

I do love curly hair, and I love mine. I have loads of pictures saved on my laptop of gorgeous ladies with big or long healthy curls. I feel they look sexy, and I certainly feel sexy when I have a good hair day.

But all this time, in the back of my mind, there is just this little voice reminding me that, while some people may think curly hair is nice, not many people think it's sexy. Many think it's unprofessional, or wild, or 'cute', or just plain not as attractive as straight hair. It's never going to be the ideal. It's always going to be looked down on. No-one desires it.

I'm not going to lie, it kind of burns. Why is it like this? Why can't all hair types, as long as they're healthy, be regarded as sexy?

I personally think any long, healthy hair is sexy. The emphasis is on health, for me, not curl, or lack thereof (though, I do have a special place in my heart for long frizz-free type 2c-3c hair).

Thoughts?

Any fellow curlies, how do you feel about this?
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Replies

  • mhuch110
    mhuch110 Posts: 130 Member
    I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them! ;)
  • crochelle17
    crochelle17 Posts: 93 Member
    I personally have naturally wavy hair and would love to have curls! i just think curly hair is a lot nicer! there is soo much more that you can do with curly hair! also, when i straighten mine out i have to tease it and use lots of product to get some height, however when its wavy it has a natural height to it and curly hair is just awesome! my sister always had dead pin straight hair, got a perm when she was younger and the perm never left! many years later her hair is starting to straighten itself out again and shes not happy...

    i am also a hairdresser and i have found that the majority of people out there that have straight hair want curls and those that have curls want straight hair :)

    dont feel bad about having naturally curly hair! those that hate on it are just jealous!!!
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them! ;)

    But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?
  • Pspetal
    Pspetal Posts: 426 Member
    Curly hair is sexy as hell imo. I'd kill to have curly hair. I have a few friends with curly hair like yours and they look so damn sexy! I have straight hair and I've damaged my hair trying to heat curl them all the time. You can do so much with hair like yours. Straight hair is boring. just my opinion though.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Hmmm that's a good question. I think curls can be incredibly sexy. I've had friends perm their straight hair to look like yours, so obviously I'm not alone!

    Some compliments from your friends might be because they aren't used to seeing you with straight hair. If I curl my hair tightly, I get compliments too and get told I should do it like that more often. I think it's the novelty aspect.

    Not sure why random people in public would treat you different though. That's weird.
  • mhuch110
    mhuch110 Posts: 130 Member
    I say us curlies have the best of both worlds! I have a mop of unruly, bouncy, blond curls all over my head. But I love them! They are fun, and wild, and sexy as hell. And, when I want to look serious and seductive, I can straighten it and take in all those compliments and stares! It's much easier to go from super curly to straight than the other way around! Embrace your curls....we make a lot of women jealous by having them! ;)

    But that's exactly the stereotype I am challenging. Why can't we be/look serious and seductive with curls?

    Oh, I know....I get ya. I'm only 4'11 so with my blond curly hair, and when I'm not dressed up, I look like a 12 y/o girl! I think big, loose, cosmo-style curls look serious and seductive. But I agree, it's hard to pull that off when your hair isn't straight. I don't know why that is!
  • mkayy1218
    mkayy1218 Posts: 22
    I have curly hair but it took me 16 years to embrace it. I straightened my hair everyday until the day I got my license. Everyday since, people ask me why I stopped straightening it and I tell them, it's a waste of time, that's not who I am. Occasionally my friends BEG me to straighten it and I refuse although I sometimes let them do it. Like you, people always tell me I look awesome with straight hair and then try to cover themselves by saying "oh you look good with curly hair too!"

    I try not to take it personally and embrace my difference! After all, in a crowd of straight-haired girls, my curly hair sticks out. People can always find me and know when I'm coming compared to my pin-straight haired counterparts.

    I feel the curly bouncy curls give way to a more "wild" look and people should definitely embrace what God gave them.
    Love your curls!
  • LizHowerton
    LizHowerton Posts: 329 Member
    It took me a very long time, but I like my curly hair now.

    I have straightened it before...it's a lot of work, it fries my hair, and if there is a drop of rain it's all over with.

    My husband loves my curls.

    Really don't worry about what other people say....learn to love what you got....(and I know its not easy)....this is our only go round in life.
  • TheFunBun
    TheFunBun Posts: 793 Member
    Ehhhh. I always get told I have a freshly fuc-- freshly serviced look. Maybe it's the nature of my unruly hair, but I always get that it's sexy rather than cute. When I straighten my hair, I get "holy hell that is different" but most people prefer my curly hair. My husband likes that he can fist my straight hair without getting trapped- but he prefers the curly hair for everything else.

    I think I wear sexier facial expressions when my hair is straight ... and am more dolled up. Curly is every day, so it's not always paired with excellent clothes and makeup.


    Men do seem to prefer straight and wavy in general - but once you have them hooked, they seem to adore any hair state. I think it's that curly hair is just so... attention grabbing? It's it's own focal point, whereas even the longest, gorgeousest of straight hair can't compete with a lovely face and body.
  • hendrijm
    hendrijm Posts: 27 Member
    I have not noticed people treating me differently becuase I have curly hair and I don't bother straightening it. I have straightened it and so have family members and we get the opposite reaction. My grandpa especially doesn't like it when we straighten our hair. I don't feel like myself with straight hair and I have better things to do than spend hours a week straightening my hair.

    As far as culture goes, I think curly hair is in the same place as fat is. It is seen as ethnic and less evolved than straight hair. I recommend a book called "Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture." It talks about the evolution of the view of body weight. I would think that curly hair is in the same category. I fight it by embracing my curly hair and feeling sexy, sophisticated, and professional with my beautiful curls.
  • Restlessme
    Restlessme Posts: 191 Member
    I do have curly hair and I absolutely would LOVE it if I knew how to do it.
    Your curls are absolutely gorgeous and honestly, if I could do my hair like that, I'd wear it down every day.

    Straightening hair just tends to be damaging and I'm tired of damaging my hair.
  • tennisbabe94
    tennisbabe94 Posts: 444 Member
    Curls are BEAUTIFUL. Yes, mine can easily become crappy-looking, but I still would prefer to have them than straight hair. They're so fun! Also, when I wear it curly, it takes almost no effort or time to do it, and it still looks great and my hair is healthier. I think a lot of people like curls and think they're fun!
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
    You look great head to toe... if they don't like the heck with them... someone will.
  • krazykristen123
    krazykristen123 Posts: 103 Member
    I like my curls/waves when they decide to behave...it's the frizz i can't stand :(
  • matt_h76
    matt_h76 Posts: 39
    My wife has naturally curly hair which looks beautiful!! But she always insists on straightening it which still looks lovely of course but no where near as nice as curly!!!! As mentioned above, it doesn't matter what the hair is like at the end of the day - its the face which counts :)
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
    I like my curls and from my experience the opposite sex seems to like them too, not everyone of course because people have different preferences but I hear quite a bit how sexy / hot / blah blah blah my hair is...usually the only people who tell me it would look better if I straightened it are women with dead looking sheet of paper thin flatiron hair... and that's just not my preference.

    But really sometimes it not some big conspiracy to hate on ethnic people or something...its more just a preference, like I don't find short hair on a woman sexy or attractive. So I get some prefer different looks.
  • HoneyIShrunktheMom
    HoneyIShrunktheMom Posts: 76
    Just something to think about:
    You said:
    I am attracted to white men,
    and then you said:
    Why is it like this? Why can't all hair types, as long as they're healthy, be regarded as sexy?

    I personally think any long, healthy hair is sexy.

    Different people prefer different things. And that's ok. :)
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    People pay a fortune to have what some of us have naturally. Wake up dampen it pick it out and walla beautiful curls.....
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    My hair used to be straight to wavy, but over the last 10 years... I'm turning into Helena Bonham Carter. And I'm not complaining... much. It's at an awkward stage now... If I get it cut shorter, it'll look good. If I let it grow a little longer, it'll look good, but at barely-shoulder length, it goes OUT instead of down. :laugh:
  • Nfairley
    Nfairley Posts: 83 Member
    That's how I've been feeling for a while now. I am so proud of my fro - it proves that I am comfortable with who I am! I have been natural for about two years now and refuse to go back to damaging perms, weaves and the like.
  • Priincess_Natalie
    Priincess_Natalie Posts: 367 Member
    I rock my curls. I LOVE my hair and so does everyone else. I don't know who has been telling you that straight is better? Straight hair is pretty, wavy hair is pretty and curly hair is pretty. It all depends on the person. For me, I love the curly haired ladies but then again I'm probably a bit partial :).

    I straighten my hair two or three times a year and enjoy it while it lasts but I stick to what's natural for my hair and a TON less work and that's wild, unruly curls.
  • heidiberr
    heidiberr Posts: 643 Member
    I love my curls and they are me. If a guy doesn't lie it or find them sexy, their loss.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    My hair is curly too, tight curls. I used to always straighten my hair and ppl would like it, but I'm like u I dont want to damage my hair anymore. So now I love my curly hair. Most ppl with straight hair want curly hair just as ppl with curly hair want straight hair. Both sides will gives reasons why. I think it all comes down to wanting what u can't really have. Honestly, now that I've come to accept my curly hair, I think straight hair is rather boring. Curly hair is fun~ So just embrace it!
  • madelonism
    madelonism Posts: 292 Member
    men think its sexy. seriously. thats usually what guys love most about me- this big springy red hair. lol. when i straighten it alot of WOMEN perfer it, but that dosnt matter so much to me. lol
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Sorry, I call BS.

    Google image, in 2.2 seconds I found literally HUNDREDS of stunningly sexy women with messy curly hair.

    I have many incredibly sexy friends on MFP (not just by my judgment...but by the commentary of all the drooling men that fawn over their pages), with curly hair.

    Now, that's not to say you may not 'feel' sexy...but that's internal. Blaming your hair for it...nope...not buying it!
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
    People pay a fortune to have what some of us have naturally. Wake up dampen it pick it out and walla beautiful curls.....

    THIS! So many women get perms and curl their hair. We dont have to hardly do anything and ours holds MUCH better lol
  • xoMeaghan
    xoMeaghan Posts: 175
    Hmmm that's a good question. I think curls can be incredibly sexy. I've had friends perm their straight hair to look like yours, so obviously I'm not alone!

    Some compliments from your friends might be because they aren't used to seeing you with straight hair. If I curl my hair tightly, I get compliments too and get told I should do it like that more often. I think it's the novelty aspect.

    Not sure why random people in public would treat you different though. That's weird.

    I agree. I have naturally wavy hair, and I let it hang loose when I'm lazy, but when I do something different (Pin it up a certain way, curl it, crimp it) I get compliments as well saying to do it more often. It's just how people see you everyday and then how you change your look a bit and how it changes everything because they're not used to it.
    I saw your photos and you look stunning with curly hair!
    Tip: Don't change for anyone else, whatever makes you feel more comfortable than go at it!
  • nikkiprickett
    nikkiprickett Posts: 412 Member
    I hear the same thing!
    "why don't you wear your hair straight more often"
    my answer is ALWAYS, if you want to spend an hour straightening it for me while I study, go for it.
    or to the ones that say it EVERY TIME I straighten my hair
    "you're slapping God in the face, this is what he gave me" <--- that usually shuts them up:)

    My hubby says it doesn't matter, they both look good blah blah blah, but I know he likes it better straight too.

    yes guys, why is this?!
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    yes guys, why is this?!

    I will say, certain types of faces, look better with certain types of hair.

    Maybe that's the thing?
  • nikkiprickett
    nikkiprickett Posts: 412 Member
    Sorry, I call BS.

    Google image, in 2.2 seconds I found literally HUNDREDS of stunningly sexy women with messy curly hair.

    I have many incredibly sexy friends on MFP (not just by my judgment...but by the commentary of all the drooling men that fawn over their pages), with curly hair.

    Now, that's not to say you may not 'feel' sexy...but that's internal. Blaming your hair for it...nope...not buying it!

    most of these gals also have their hair done for them everyday because it's their job to look good....I'm talking about naturally curly hair that doesn't look like curling iron curls, when I wear mine naturally, it looks like a frizz ball, if I add some gel/hairspray it is unpredictable on if it'll look good or like I just rolled out of bed lol

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