Curly hair isn't sexy?

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Replies

  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    What does the appearance of your hair have to do with staying in shape and losing weight?

    The same relevance that chit chat, fun, and games has to do with staying in shape and losing weight :wink:

    Win :).
  • Techn0mancer
    Techn0mancer Posts: 46
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    I'm not going to lie, though. It bugs me when women/men won't accept their curls.

    I'm working on her.. every time her braids come out, she gets a nice long scalp massage and I gently remind her that I could do that more often if she didn't get her hair all twisted up like origami LOL
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    I'm not going to lie, though. It bugs me when women/men won't accept their curls.

    I'm working on her.. every time her braids come out, she gets a nice long scalp massage and I gently remind her that I could do that more often if she didn't get her hair all twisted up like origami LOL

    Now THAT'S a good method right thurr ;)
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    What does the appearance of your hair have to do with staying in shape and losing weight?

    The same relevance that chit chat, fun, and games has to do with staying in shape and losing weight :wink:

    Win :).

    :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    as a guy i think straight hair is sexier than curly hair.

    That's fair enough! We are all allowed our preferences :) I just take issue with it being a universally accepted ideal that one type of hair is better than the other.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Let me just let my art history nerd out for a minute:

    Renaissance depictions of curly haired women were literally ment to be read as the personification of 'virility' aka being sexually 'ripe'

    So, that gives us a pretty good idea of how sexy curls really are! :D:D:D

    Now, this, I like ;)
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    What does the appearance of your hair have to do with staying in shape and losing weight?

    Confidence about one's physical appearance enhances motivation to follow or maintain a program. Biologically, the condition of one's hair sends signals about one's youth and fertility (yes, the act of coloring subverts that).

    Culturally and historically, hair has always been important. It could signal class -- for example, at times wealthy European and Japanese women wore their hair in elaborate styles that could only be executed with the help of a servant. In the Sixties, the Afro was associated with Black Power and liberation ...
  • eig6
    eig6 Posts: 249 Member
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    I'm not going to lie, though. It bugs me when women/men won't accept their curls.

    I'm working on her.. every time her braids come out, she gets a nice long scalp massage and I gently remind her that I could do that more often if she didn't get her hair all twisted up like origami LOL

    You are a total sweetheart! Lucky girl!
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?

    Hair that doesn't have a relaxer in it? My hair has relaxer, but after the fact, I still have curly hair, it's just less bushy. I often hear black or biracial women who have "natural" hair without relaxer in it that my hair is "fake" or that I'm conforming to white standards of beauty by getting a relaxer. It pisses me off. Especially because most people think my hair is "natural" when they see it, and praise my ability to have such "long healthy natural hair" and only when I correct them that I actually have a relaxer in it, do they try to shame me.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member

    ...but I also get the messages of 'curly hair is more work/curly hair must be completely perfect to look presentable/curly hair isn't sexy/curly hair is negative'.


    You're not imagining that, although, as I said, things are slowly changing. It's a combination of more people wearing their hair like this (especially professionals)), more information and education (which did not exist when I was young: you either got your hair hot combed or relaxed, that was it), and good products.

    Many black men shave their heads. That's their way of avoiding or dealing with the issue of their hair.

    I've had natural, kinky-curly hair for a few years now. Generally, it's worth it. People frequently tell me I have beautiful hair. But I'm not going to tell you there aren't times when I wish it didn't shrink so much or that the curls weren't looser. About the texture, I really can't tell you whether it's a genuine aesthetic preference on my part or cultural brainwashing.

    At times I have to be in conservative, corporate settings. If I'm insecure about how my hair looks, I pull it back in a ponytail, but fan out the curls.

    I consider my curls to be a very small example of Gandhi's "Be the change you want to see in the world." I don't want another generation of kids with gorgeous curly to kinky hair growing up thinking there's something wrong with it.

    Yeah, they're changing. I do worry they'll always be the same, always be the same under the surface.

    I used to wear my hair out at work, but it gets in my face. So now, I wear it like this;

    406302_4374814088934_457684692_n.jpg.

    I get complimented on it, and I can see people looking at it. But I can't help but notice that I get better reception when it's straight, especially as it's pretty long now (I'm at APL). Especially as our customers at my Starbucks tend to be higher class/rich/kinda snobby. You know, the type who drop the money in your hand or throw it on the counter when your hand's outstretched.

    If I could straighten my hair more regularly without damage, I'd do so. Just for the change. Different audiences, different reactions, different looks - I love it. But it sucks that I can't straighten my hair anymore.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    if they're in a non-major role, they tend to be more natural looking, but often don't get bigger parts.

    Don't forget the "sassy black woman" stereotype: invariably a dark-skinned, obese woman who's rather crude.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?

    Hair that doesn't have a relaxer in it? My hair has relaxer, but after the fact, I still have curly hair, it's just less bushy. I often hear black or biracial women who have "natural" hair without relaxer in it that my hair is "fake" or that I'm conforming to white standards of beauty by getting a relaxer. It pisses me off. Especially because most people think my hair is "natural" when they see it, and praise my ability to have such "long healthy natural hair" and only when I correct them that I actually have a relaxer in it, do they try to shame me.

    So is it texlaxed?

    Well, I'm not sure on this one. Appearence wise, you'd fit into the category. Afterall, it looks curly. But I was referring to naturally curly hair.
  • shanae727
    shanae727 Posts: 546 Member
    Who cares what men prefer!!!! A REAL man will love your curls and much more. Sexy is as sexy does! I get more glances from men when my hair is curly. I think it's because of confidence I'm not worried about my hair poofing after spending hours trying to get it to look like a sheet of paper. I also play with my curls a lot too and maybe that's sexy. Idk. But either way it's about your confidence and how YOU feel about your hair or self.
  • mcentyre
    mcentyre Posts: 2 Member
    I have been blessed to have girls in my life that really embrace beauty in all forms. For me that was a turning point for me because I use to hate everything about me. I would always wear my hair in a pony tail because I didn't own a straightener and I felt my natural hair was hideous. Now I wear my hair down all the time, completely natural! I only add maybe a headband or some bobby pins because I can't stand my hair to be in my face. I get so many compliments! I instead get compliments of more like "oh your hair looks good straight too, but I love it curly!"

    I feel maybe you are just surrounded by people who don't appreciate the beauty that your hair has! Personally for me, there is only one man who needs to find it sexy, and that will be my husband someday. My boyfriend (whom I hope shall be my husband within the next few years) loves my hair any way I wear it.

    Rock that beautiful hair! Keep it healthy! Beauty is not 1 dimensional!
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?

    Hair that doesn't have a relaxer in it? My hair has relaxer, but after the fact, I still have curly hair, it's just less bushy. I often hear black or biracial women who have "natural" hair without relaxer in it that my hair is "fake" or that I'm conforming to white standards of beauty by getting a relaxer. It pisses me off. Especially because most people think my hair is "natural" when they see it, and praise my ability to have such "long healthy natural hair" and only when I correct them that I actually have a relaxer in it, do they try to shame me.

    So is it texlaxed?

    Well, I'm not sure on this one. Appearence wise, you'd fit into the category. Afterall, it looks curly. But I was referring to naturally curly hair.

    I guess you could say it's texlaxed. I found your topic interesting because in my experience, caucasians and asians especially tell me "don't ever straighten your hair! it's so pretty!" even in professional settings. But it's my fellow biracial peeps and african americans who try and convince me to go completely natural. Some of them find relaxer offensive, which I find ridiculous. My boyfriend is white and he has always said he prefers my hair curly.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    People put too much emphasis on hair..
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member


    Yeah, they're changing. I do worry they'll always be the same, always be the same under the surface.

    You have to fight against that attitude, although it's understandable. I'm not one of those people who says Why do you care what other people think? (and they usually don't have the issue, so it's easy for them).

    My monitor is lousy, so I can't see your photos well, but your hair seems to have very nice texture. Since, and it's unfortunate, natural hair is still considered out there in conservative settings, when I'm in them, I make sure that the rest of me is conservative, not boring, but nothing that shouts, Look at me!
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    People put too much emphasis on hair..

    I agree, but it's not up to me. I'm not a slave to high-maintenance grooming, but I recognize that looking presentable- based on standards I don't control - often matters in work and other contexts.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Who cares what men prefer!!!! A REAL man will love your curls and much more. Sexy is as sexy does! I get more glances from men when my hair is curly. I think it's because of confidence I'm not worried about my hair poofing after spending hours trying to get it to look like a sheet of paper. I also play with my curls a lot too and maybe that's sexy. Idk. But either way it's about your confidence and how YOU feel about your hair or self.

    Well, I am straight, and into men, so I do care what men find attractive. I care what people find attractive. I don't care enough to damage my hair in quest to conform to standards, but it doesn't mean it doesn't bug me.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    People put too much emphasis on hair..

    Because it's another part of ourselves?

    I don't know about you, but my hair is a big part of me. My identity, my appearance, my body.

    So, it's not 'too much emphasis'.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?

    Hair that doesn't have a relaxer in it? My hair has relaxer, but after the fact, I still have curly hair, it's just less bushy. I often hear black or biracial women who have "natural" hair without relaxer in it that my hair is "fake" or that I'm conforming to white standards of beauty by getting a relaxer. It pisses me off. Especially because most people think my hair is "natural" when they see it, and praise my ability to have such "long healthy natural hair" and only when I correct them that I actually have a relaxer in it, do they try to shame me.

    So is it texlaxed?

    Well, I'm not sure on this one. Appearence wise, you'd fit into the category. Afterall, it looks curly. But I was referring to naturally curly hair.

    I guess you could say it's texlaxed. I found your topic interesting because in my experience, caucasians and asians especially tell me "don't ever straighten your hair! it's so pretty!" even in professional settings. But it's my fellow biracial peeps and african americans who try and convince me to go completely natural. Some of them find relaxer offensive, which I find ridiculous. My boyfriend is white and he has always said he prefers my hair curly.

    Well, to be honest, I am not a fan of relaxer. In fact, I detest it. But I don't try and convince anyone to go natural. But when people start relaxing their kid's hair, I can't respect them.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    I have been blessed to have girls in my life that really embrace beauty in all forms. For me that was a turning point for me because I use to hate everything about me. I would always wear my hair in a pony tail because I didn't own a straightener and I felt my natural hair was hideous. Now I wear my hair down all the time, completely natural! I only add maybe a headband or some bobby pins because I can't stand my hair to be in my face. I get so many compliments! I instead get compliments of more like "oh your hair looks good straight too, but I love it curly!"

    I feel maybe you are just surrounded by people who don't appreciate the beauty that your hair has! Personally for me, there is only one man who needs to find it sexy, and that will be my husband someday. My boyfriend (whom I hope shall be my husband within the next few years) loves my hair any way I wear it.

    Rock that beautiful hair! Keep it healthy! Beauty is not 1 dimensional!

    But I am around people who compliment/love my hair. It's a combination of things, not one sole cause.

    And thanks hun.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member


    Yeah, they're changing. I do worry they'll always be the same, always be the same under the surface.

    You have to fight against that attitude, although it's understandable. I'm not one of those people who says Why do you care what other people think? (and they usually don't have the issue, so it's easy for them).

    My monitor is lousy, so I can't see your photos well, but your hair seems to have very nice texture. Since, and it's unfortunate, natural hair is still considered out there in conservative settings, when I'm in them, I make sure that the rest of me is conservative, not boring, but nothing that shouts, Look at me!

    Thank you.

    I know what you mean, though. I still feel self conscious about how I come across when my hair is in its natural state. And if it's really frizzy or messy, I feel embarassed and flat twist it.
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
    My hair is straight, thin, fine, limp and BORING.
    I've always wanted thick, gorgeous curly hair like yours.
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
    I love curly hair. And you my dear are very beautiful and sexy. Don't change for nobody other than yourself.
  • takehimaway
    takehimaway Posts: 499 Member
    484204_405233502853429_230558836_n.jpg

    Curly hair is hot! Further proof above. You can't really see, but Harmony's hair is quite curly!
  • lisapr123
    lisapr123 Posts: 863 Member
    I love my curls. Every guy I've ever dated--including the one I married nearly 14 years ago--has loved my hair curly. When I straighten it my husband says I look fake, snobby, superficial...

    When my hair is curly and bouncy I feel sexy as hell. It must come thru because on my curliest days I get the most attention. I'm in Chicago and it's hot and humid and they just grow bigger and bigger, and I let them. There is something about embracing what we have that is sexy in and of itself.
  • DorisInTheDena
    DorisInTheDena Posts: 151 Member
    You are beautiful and I love your hair. I spend a 1/2 hour curling my hair every day because it is so straight. :wink:
  • kater8er
    kater8er Posts: 364 Member
    Question...when you say curly hair, are you limiting that to un-relaxed curly hair?

    I'm a little confused?

    Hair that doesn't have a relaxer in it? My hair has relaxer, but after the fact, I still have curly hair, it's just less bushy. I often hear black or biracial women who have "natural" hair without relaxer in it that my hair is "fake" or that I'm conforming to white standards of beauty by getting a relaxer. It pisses me off. Especially because most people think my hair is "natural" when they see it, and praise my ability to have such "long healthy natural hair" and only when I correct them that I actually have a relaxer in it, do they try to shame me.

    So is it texlaxed?

    Well, I'm not sure on this one. Appearence wise, you'd fit into the category. Afterall, it looks curly. But I was referring to naturally curly hair.

    I guess you could say it's texlaxed. I found your topic interesting because in my experience, caucasians and asians especially tell me "don't ever straighten your hair! it's so pretty!" even in professional settings. But it's my fellow biracial peeps and african americans who try and convince me to go completely natural. Some of them find relaxer offensive, which I find ridiculous. My boyfriend is white and he has always said he prefers my hair curly.

    Well, to be honest, I am not a fan of relaxer. In fact, I detest it. But I don't try and convince anyone to go natural. But when people start relaxing their kid's hair, I can't respect them.

    I think it depends on the reason for the relaxer. My mother suggested I get a relaxer at age 13 because I was about to go into high school and she didn't want to do my hair for me each morning anymore. I was unable to do it myself, so I agreed. If my mother had said I'd look prettier with a relaxer or something of that nature, I'd take issue with it. But for me the relaxer has always been for convenience.

    I've never been able to understand why people take issue with relaxers, perhaps because I was never forced into one. To me a relaxer is no different than a white person getting highlights or dying their hair. Or even black people--why is it accepted that black women can dye their hair and not receive the "oh she's not natural" crap from people, when this is really no different than a relaxer, it just has a different effect? People also always assume I have highlights in my hair because it's got many different shades of brown and red in it, they don't chastise me for that, only a relaxer.

    It's an interesting subject to me. I don't detest natural hair or relaxed hair because I don't think it's my business. On myself, I like my hair the way it is. On others, it's their hair and even if it's not my taste in style, it's not my business what works for them.

    As to your original question about the curly hair stereotype, though--I think maybe because curly hair looks *wild* or *untamed*. However, if a guy--white or black or whatever else--doesn't like curly hair, then oh well. There's plenty of them who do. I'd worry about my hair for my *own* preferences, not for a guy's.

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